[a brief set of excerpts]
A Delicious Encounter with Heidi!
By Ellie Weems (excerpted with permission from Campus On!)
E: So, we're so happy that you agreed to our interview request! You're such a hard girl to get a hold of.
H: I'm not that hard to catch. Just wave some dumplings and I'm so there!
E: Is it true that you practically live on those things? I've heard stories from your classmates and year mates.
H: Of course not. That be so unhealthy. You should also eat veggies and take vitamins.
E: But is it true that you have, like, the Tongue of God?
H: The Tongue of what?
E: You know? Like that really old manga? Battle Soma? Soma's Food? Something like that?
H: Hmm…wait a minute. Where's my phone?
E: Oh, look, I found it. Here, let me share the link.
H: Oh, how interesting!
E: Isn't it, though?
(Several…well, many minutes later)
H: Oh! Poor Erina!
E: But look, Soma's coming to the rescue!
H: Well, at least someone's helping her. This is outrageous!
E: It's just a story. Well, oh, oops! We're supposed to be interviewing, not reading old manga.
H: Perhaps we could reschedule? I'm free next week. All that's on my schedule is World of Glory.
E: Oooh! You play that, too?
H: You're a player as well? Isn't it fun? I have this really interesting quest. Hmm… is your build the same in the game?
E: Me? Oh, no, I went and colored my hair at least. It's this fabulous shade of violet.
H: That sounds so…springlike to me. Let's add each other and resched, okay?
E: Sure! So, everyone! This is Ellie Weems with another awesome interview and another yet to come!
H: So, how do you feel about modeling? In-game?
*****
Hotness on a Stick Captured!
By Ellie Weems (excerpted with permission from Campus On!)
E: So, today we're here with hottest bachelor on campus, Nate Devereaux! So, Nate, what made you agree to our interview?
N: Well, I just got back into town recently and made some unsettling discoveries. Then you called, and I thought, why not?
E: You're making me blush!
N: I also read your sorta interview with Heidi and thought I needed to see what you looked like so I could picture that violet hair.
E: It's been a surprising hit. I'm still shocked.
N: You shouldn't be. You're so hot, it's scorching.
E: (giggles) You're just being kind. The hot one here is you.
N: That's what I've been told, but I just don't see it. I'm just the usual, happy-go-lucky guy!
E: Who's looking for Ms. Right! Everyone in my year has heard about it.
N: Well, I can't be alone forever, can I?
E: I still can't believe you are. Is there a specific type you're looking for?
N: I'm open to the possibilities. As long as they're willing to try, I'm game!
E: Oh, that is bad.
N: Is it working?
E: I, uh, well, back to our interview times!
N: Shame.
E: So, you were recently off campus. Care to tell what you were doing?
N: I was hiking in the Philippines. Do you know that I found a lost temple nearly buried in the jungle? That's coming out in a journal in a few months.
E: A journal?
N: Oh, I ran into this academic group, and we were traveling together for a moment. It was really exciting finding the temple.
E: And now you're in a journal article?
N: Oh, and a television special, but I think that's only overseas for now.
E: And how did you wind up in a special?
N: Well, after the announcement, these television trucks started showing up. They were really dedicated. They hiked all the way there and set up. There was so much equipment.
E: They hiked to this newly discovered temple?
N: Well, some of them might have helicoptered in, but I don't think they were actually journalists.
E: They weren't?
N: It was the guns that were a dead giveaway, but by then this army unit had stopped by because one of the professors was connected somehow, and there was gold involved.
E: Gold!?
N: It was really interesting times. I don't know why people think that's a curse.
E: And an army?
N: And a firefight.
E: You're making this up!
N: No, no. Look, let me share the link. It's in Filipino, though.
(several minutes later)
E: And they let you out of the country after this?
N: Well, US citizen and all that. They even paid me. It was fun! I'd do it again.
E: I don't think they want you to do it again.
N: You'd be surprised. I've got an invite to go on this other search in a couple months. Might go after finals.
E: You have finals?
N: Everyone has to graduate eventually. Since my cousin and her friends are graduating, I thought I might as well, too.
E: Now, that is news! Hear that, ladies!? Our favorite bachelor might be unavailable soon!
N: Well, if you'd accept my invite to dinner, maybe.
E: Oh! Of course! And this is Ellie out! Until the next marvelous interview!
*****
How Not to Invest
By Ellie Weems (excerpted from Campus On!)
E: Today we're here with Cora Devereaux, the cousin of the infamous Nate Devereaux!
C: He's infamous now?
E: Have you seen the latest?
C: There's a 'latest,' too?
E: Let me share the link. Here!
C: This doesn't look like it's in English.
E: You don't read Campus On!?
C: I've been really busy lately. Haven't had the time to decompress.
E: Oh, well, we have heard about that, but my editors said to skip it and just talk about finances.
C: It would be best, I think.
E: So, Cora! You're the finance guru the business school is the proudest of.
C: I wouldn't call myself a guru.
E: Professor Jamieson said that your prediction models for changes in blockchains were the best he's ever seen.
C: That was just luck. Never invest unless you're sure, and even then not more than you can afford to lose.
E: Like gambling?
C: Exactly! The stock market isn't a game, after all. You can go bust so fast.
E: And yet I've been hearing about this secret hedge fund…
C: There is no secret hedge fund. I have no clue what you're talking about.
E: Any tips for those of us trying to get started?
C: Get hired somewhere with a decent retirement plan and start building your retirement accounts. They'll grow slowly but surely in time.
E: That's what all the business professors say.
C: And they would be right. Hard work and patience is the way to go…oh, thank goodness! You helped me solve a riddle!
E: A riddle?
C: There's this riddle in this area I'm in that asks what's a surefire way to success and I was so stumped. Thank you so much! Vault here I come!
E: Happy to help? Are you okay?
C: I have to go! I've been farming and mining and walking so much, and now I think I might have a clue to speeding that up! Oh! And send me a note with how much you were starting with. I might be able to help!
E: I thought you didn't have a hedge fund?
C: I don't have a secret hedge fund, no. That's illegal, isn't it?
E: And there she goes! Well, this has been Ellie Weems for Campus On! Don't forget to read my next interview!