"It's about Cui Ting"
Liu Suya shouldn't have been surprised. She closed her eyes and sighed. "What is it?"
"Well uh, she's um. It's probably easier to just show you." An Meiyu slid her phone across their table towards Liu Suya.
Weibo was open. She hadn't logged into her account in a while having wanted a break from social media, after the whole Winston ball charity scandal. Her eyes roved over the currently trending hashtags.
[LostDaughterofMoFamily]
[Mofamilylostmiss]
[MoTing]
Liu Suya quickly skimmed through an article that explained the situation. She let out a soft gasp. She couldn't quite recognise the emotions that churned in her stomach and wasn't sure she'd ever been ready to face them.
Was she a bad person? Did the faults Zhou Wei find in her lie in the fact that her initial reaction to Cui Ting finding her birth parents couldn't be further from positive? Her Stomach felt so full that she briefly considered whether vomiting it all out would provide her with some much-needed relief. Contrastingly, her heart felt emptier than ever.
She couldn't beat her. Liu Suya had won nothing and had lost everything. Whether that be intelligence, temperament, looks or love. Now even her family background was more outstanding than hers. How was she supposed to compete? With Cu-Mo Ting's protagonist like setting?
The realisation that Cui Ting is not just some common girl, and which meant that she was now more than just qualified to marry Zhou Wei sank further into the pits of her stomach. The Zhou family would gladly welcome the daughter of one of the 5 great families of the capital and all of China. She felt like the villainess in Cui Ting's story.
The girl she'd met that year ago, the friend she'd made seemed so different now in the picture on the screen. Mo Ting stood beside Mr and Mrs Mo, who had the largest smiles she'd ever seen them wear, along with the eldest son of the Mo family. Her family looked so happy to see her. Her long straight hair was bundled into a neat pony, she wore what looked like to be a stunning lilac-coloured dress. A picture of this season's Valentino runway show briefly crossed her mind, she recognised that dress.
That same wave of nausea seemed to boil in the pits of her stomach, the steam nipping at her heart, she felt like throwing up. Liu Suya suddenly asked herself what it would feel like to be someone else if only for a moment.
Why did she even bother? All the time and effort she had put into everything she wanted, Mo ting now had, had been fruitless and without reap. It was almost laughable.
It felt like the room was getting tighter. She could already see her father's disappointed eyes at the unexpected gain of the Mo and Zhou families. After all their little princess was involved with the little prince of the Zhou's, cooperation between the two families on some sort of project was only a matter of time. Her grandmother would be furious not to mention Rong Nuan. Who knows what they'd do to her? She'd have gotten off lightly if she was slapped across the face as soon as she stepped into that house.
She suddenly felt two warm hands on her cheeks, and slowly came out of her reverie. She realised she was trembling and looked up into Meiyu's concerned eyes.
"Su…" An Meiyu drew her into a hug. "Su, I'm gonna need you to breathe for me. Please breathe for me." Liu Suya tried her best to oblige. "You can get through this. Don't worry I'm here for you." This went on for a while only interrupted by a worker who'd come by to ask about the situation or if they needed a paramedic. An Meiyu asked the kind worker for a cup of water. Some time went by and she finally stopped trembling.
Liu Suya closed her eyes. She wanted to avoid the concern she knew would be there in An Meiyu's eyes. She already felt like sh*t, she didn't want to feel like a sh*tty friend too. The two lapsed into an awkward silence. An Meiyu broke it first.
"Su, I... I don't want to pressure you into anything...but I'm worried. This...isn't the first time."
Liu Suya was still, she knew that An Meiyu meant well, she was only looking out for her. But she just didn't want to make a big deal out of this.
"Just know that you can always talk to me." An Meiyu's chocolate brown eyes looked deeply into her best friend's jade green. "No matter what."
Liu Suya's head felt heavy as she nodded. She wanted so much for this whole thing to be over. She'd long realised that these episodes of hers weren't normal and that this was something to be concerned about. Nevertheless, she'd pushed those thoughts away having been so caught up with her ex-fiancé's affairs. At that time, she was meant to become the madam of the Zhou family, she couldn't be defective.
Doing something about it now would simply acknowledge the fact that she would never have been good enough in the first place.
***
An Meiyu doesn't bring it up again but is supportive nonetheless. The next couple of weeks go by as her exams come to an end and graduation is getting closer and closer. The warm June sunshine delicately lit up the empty classroom she and An Meiyu currently sat in.
"I'm kinda thirsty," Liu Suya stood and turned to her best friend. "D'ya want anything?"
"Yeah, just water. I've got to look after my figure after all." An Meiyu had intended to go into modelling after graduating and was currently looking at various agencies available. Liu Suya knew she'd do well, her killer long legs would take the industry by storm. Well, that and the numerous insider links the An family had. Most would be surprised at how large an influence corporate giants had in showbiz and the fashion industry, despite outwardly having no relation.
Liu Suya had been thinking about what she intended to do after graduation to no avail. She didn't want to continue her studies as she wasn't the studious type. Her graduating a year early could be attributed to her wish to leave the Liu's as soon as possible and marry into the Zhou's. Not to mention that she wasn't that interested in communication and media or at least the study of it.
She was knee-deep into her thoughts when she reached the vending machine at the end of the corridor. She got herself strawberry milk and An Meiyu her water.
When Liu Suya would look back at these chance encounters of her's later on she only would sigh before placing the blame on some loathsome and malicious being out in the universe. Why was it she couldn't go at least a couple of weeks without meeting these people? Approximately 40,000 students yet she still ran into them. It was starting to get ridiculous.
To be fair though, Mo Ting looked just as surprised to see her. There she stood in all her glory, Mo Ting wore a pair of light denim boyfriend jeans with a loose-fitting sweater. She was dressed in a prim yet feminine manner that didn't leave much exposed. But her tall and slender figure stood before her, so put together in ways she could only envy. Liu Suya didn't want to deal with this girl at the moment, so she turned to leave.
"Suya, wait. Don't leave, I just want to talk to you..."
"Well, I don't want to talk to you." Liu Suya spun to face her but instantly regretted it. She couldn't let her know that she was hurt. She wasn't weak or at least she wasn't gonna show it. Mo Ting pursed her lips and looked to the ground for a moment before taking a deep breath and staring her right in the eyes. Liu Suya could only imagine the Mary sue-meets-egotistical-protagonist-Esque inner monologue she was having. It made her sick to her stomach. Why can't this girl just leave her alone? Why must she get everything that she wants?
While she loses everything?
"Please Suya. I just want things to go back to how they were. When we were friends and... we talked. I don't like this."
It's too bad that would never happen, the damage had been done after all. Some actions in this world couldn't just be undone with a little sincerity. Liu Suya knew this fact intimately. She chuckled bitterly at the thought.
After all, Mo Ting had a reputable boyfriend, a wealthy and affluent family - even more so than her own - that adores her. She was on track to completing her degree in Mathematics and Finance as valedictorian and Liu Suya had even heard talks of her going to MIT for her masters in America. Not to mention she has a great reputation in the media and the high societal social circle, something that Liu Suya had worked for the last ten years by attending an uncountable amount of functions, galas and charity balls.
It all seemed to just fall into Mo Ting's lap. It begs her to wonder why she even bothered. And even now she still wants more. Liu Suya had never met anyone so greedy.
She won't give in. She won't look into her earnest eyes that demonstrate her willingness to reconcile. This is because above all else Liu Suya is a coward. She knows this very well, that the little girl that was often too scared to look others in the eye was still there simply buried under a superficial layer of pride.
This is why Liu Suya won't look Mo Ting in the eye, she fears that the cowardice, the shame inside of her will spill out and enter the eyes and ears she knows are watching and listening for her to slip up. Liu Suya fears the fact that Cui Ting knows perhaps instinctively that she's very close to slipping up.
"You stopped wanting to be friends with me the minute you stole my fiancé."
So, Liu Suya lied.
She'll pretend that she's simply upset about the loss of her fiancé, she's been on this stage far too long to just step off.
She's not like Mo Ting. Someone who can step on and off whenever she wants to and do it so gracefully too. She can't shrug off the pretences that she's relied on for so long now.
" Ah'Ting! Wait up, I wanna get something too." Two sets of eyes were drawn to the owner of the voice.
Liu Shan looked at Mo Ting before furrowing her brows and directing a hard stare at Liu Suya. "Have you come to bother Ah'Ting again? Liu Suya why can't you just get a life already?"
She knew better than to try defending herself from people like this. She still wonders how she could have ever thought that this cousin of hers was ever on her side. It was laughable how easily she'd turned on her.
"Shan'er Su wasn't bothering me, I just-"
"You're too soft Ah'Ting, this is why people like her think they can walk all over you!" It was amazing how the once solitary corridor now had a small crowd of people in it, all eager to watch the show in front of them.
Liu Suya looked at the script in front of her. It was so easy to play into it, to scream, to insult, to feel something about the scene in front of her. She soon caught the face of Que Yanshao in the crowd making her way to Mo Ting before softly rubbing her hand behind her back. Mo Ting gave Que Yanshao a small smile in response.
Suddenly it felt like she had aged 30 years as the sudden realisation that even though allowing the ember of her furies may relieve her of some of the pain, it wouldn't give her what she truly wanted.
She would still be Liu Suya and she would still be a failure.
"Doesn't Liu Suya get tired of this?" It was that whisper from someone in the crowd beside her that set her into motion.
"Su, don't mind them, I just really wanted to..."
"It's fine." Liu Suya cut Mo Ting off. Liu Suya has bigger problems to deal with, most notably her place in the Liu family which is currently on very shaky grounds.
She'd even heard talks of Rong Nuan and her father remarrying a couple of days ago. She may have to see that woman every day. This wasn't even comparable to the severe panic attack that she'd had that day.
"I really should get going now." Liu Shan was taken aback at Liu Suya's nonchalant reply, obviously expecting something else. She didn't bother waiting for their reply and left after spotting Mei down the corridor.
"Oh my god. Su, what happened? What did that b*tch want now?"
She chuckled at her An Meiyu's reaction. "It's fine, let's go." Liu Suya doesn't look back to acknowledge anything behind her.