"Man, THAT was close..."
Anonymous
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The Baron
"Did you really have to kill those last two Waya?"
"The two fatties HAD to just left Dunkin' Donuts; I just couldn't resist."
"Quiet MasterLock," I said, "I'm trying to think."
Four of my goons were inside the van; two in the front and two in the back. We were almost home already and our masks were off. Most everyone was huffing and puffing.
Alien, huffing and heaving, was working hard on figuring out what tipped the Angels off. On his WristPad lights and keys flashed and tapped furiously. My phone buzzed,
I sent back,
He looked up and smirked. He knows that I don't like people ten-feet from me sending me messages. His face sobered and he sent,
I looked at him with a risen brow, and sent,
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Later...
The Baron
Me and Walker went for a trip around the city. Not only were we anxious about the marriage but it would take several days for Obsidian to stabilize. The wind carried debris, sirens were heard in the distance constantly. Crime was on a rampage.
"So," Walker said intertwining her arm in mine, "the park?"
I glanced to her with a smile,
"I was thinking about a diner I'd visit frequently. Do you wanna go to the park instead?"
"No," she smiled, "a diner is fine."
We continued in the slower stop-n'-go traffic of the city. Less and less people own cars so traffic is smoother, but not completely nonexistent. A majority of the cars out have some sort of damage done to them; people lack a lot of the funding to repair their cars.
It was six in the fall, so the sun shone forth orange beams on days dying decent down like a burning plane. Orange shone beautifully on the wet pavement; making the black streets seem to have pits of lava here and there. Ghosts of people gazed out from their hoods or jackets pulled overhead like poverty were the bars of prison.
"Well," she said thoughtfully, "we could go to the movies."
My shoulders slumped.
"Oh!" She covered her mouth, "I forgot that you don't watch movies."
My muscles relaxed and I took a turn before she asked again, both hands on my arm,
"You going to tell me why you don't watch television?" Curiosity permeating in her voice.
I smiled,
"Maybe..."
She rolled her eyes, I've kept that like a little carrot of mystery my bunny of honey has to chase for years. Next I asked,
"So... did you have a good day the day before yesterday?"
My usual smirk turned into a playful toothy grin; I was referring to the day we got attacked by the Angels. She giggled,
"You are ridiculous," gawd she has such a sexy Spanish accent, "but besides the fact that I could have died engaged for only one day was something."
"Yeah," I grimaced, "not exactly a good date right?"
"Baron you are so," she stopped and sighed, another question on her mind, "what's your real name?"
I twisted my head to look at her, having just stopped at Crash 99's Diner and Soda Bar and considered to tell her or not. However, my favorite game has been 'Hard-to-Get'. I said to playfully infuriate her,
"Nah..."
We went inside, I have come here so often that the clerk was surprised to see me with Walker. The woman cleared her throat and asked if I wanted the 'usual'; which was a booth I sat in on the back far wall. When seated Walker looked at the menu as I order the 'usual' vanilla phosphate and brownie cake sundae. Walker decided to get fries and a cream soda. "Reminds me of Spain," she said.
Halfway through my phosphate she realized that something was on my mind,
"The other day," I said, "you don't think AllFall has anything to do with it?"
She looked at the light above us in thought, we were across from one another and she said,
"Nah, if she were an agent she'd be either super friendly or super disagreeable."
"That's what I might do in mafia Sarahlinn."
She gave me a playful stink-eye,
"I'm not that stupid 'Baron'," she jabbed and took a sip of cream soda in consideration, "she is pretty smart. She trusts us about as much as we should have Magmantis. Also, for a villain, she seems to take death kinda hard."
"At the galleria she said her father used to take her there. Perhaps she had a good life up till his death." I stopped from the pain of Daniel's memory floating over me. Walker picked it up and after a moment, said,
"You were thinking of that man weren't you? Or was it Angel?"
She knew that I was good friends with Dan, but she never knew that I respected him like a father. Angel. Angel didn't need to be embalmed I learned later on, he may take years to regenerate and lose pretty much all his memory or simply decay and die. From how it was explained, both were pretty much equivalent. I tried to change the subject,
"Wanna try my phosphate?"
I don't know if she bought it or not but was staring at me like people in love always do. She sipped her soda, still looking at me,
"You like my shirt?" She asked before more sipping on her soda.
My mind began to fart, as I tried to give a honest opinion on the black shirt with sparkles under her leather jacket. Clearly she saw that I was distracted and continued,
"Wanna do my hair in the bathroom?"
My mind came to a screeching halt,
"We're going to get married and all but I respect the management here too much." I added as she continued to look at me, "I'll 'help' when we get home."
We both smiled evilly at the exact same time. I was exhilarated, but I broke my gaze and grabbed ahold of my thoughts,
"I actually need to tell you something before we do anything like that."
I don't know if her head cocked in curiosity or confusion but I told her all of my secrets. Why, over the years, I never came close to anyone. She took it well, but she was shaken down enough that we weren't going to be doing anything when we got home. It was ten by the time we left 99's, driving home, in the car I asked her,
"If you wanna call off the engagement..."
She looked at me like I was beside myself, "Are you nuts? It's not like I have any other real man that would tell me all you told me."
'Real man', the words made me all warm inside.
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That night...
AllFall
I was falling, being tipped over. Bleeding, blood all over. Wait! I am AllFall, how do I fall?
I awoke to a loud thunk, an ominous siloleuette peering over me. Waya's brisk voice said with ever present steel,
"Get up and carry this." Pointing to the bucket filled with liquid that he dropped next to me. I dressed and went out to the hall. The others were waiting inside the hallway; buckets also in hand. I looked to Waya,
"Waya..."
"It's Doug's idea."
Once I saw the look on his face through the dark I knew what was going on. Oh! This is going to be fun!
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We waited for the signal,
Doug whispered it,
...1
...2
...3
"HAPPY BACHELOR SOAK!!" We all roared, casting buckets of water onto the Baron's bed!!! The water sat there a moment, and we all got perplexed. Waya pulled back the covers to reveal his coat rack usually by the door.
"AH," Waya said an alarmed whisper, "CRUD."
The Baron's voice said loudly but casually,
"You paid the piper; now dance!"
Then to my amazement, Star Wars, Battle of the Fates blared on. This distraction was followed by the Baron attacking us. He struck Doug against the jaw and kicked MasterLock away. I saw him retreat and attempted to fool me in the darkness and get me to run into a sweep, but I went into a cartwheel and corkscrewed over him, in combat stance.
He stared at me in the dark, and he didn't seem to see me going pale; did I blow my cover? Not even Walker can flip like that. The Baron was interrupted by Doug grabbing his neck and the Baron reversed him by an elbow to the middle, taking his foot behind Doug's leg, and shoved him down with one arm. The Baron has clearly taken self-defense classes. Waya swung himself, howling, from the chandelier and the Baron caught him in the air and tossed him into the wall. He then grounded MasterLock with a spinning crescent kick and blocked Alien's attempt to attack with the coat-rack.
As Alien cursed before a kick I pasted myself onto the ceiling and then attacked. I grabbed him by the neck for the others to attack. He tried to perform another elbow but when he hit air he became confused.
The others charged but he took my arms and twirled to kick everyone back. I tightened my grip and Waya shouted,
"Gift me!"
I did and Waya was howling as he ran on the wall toward the Baron; he was surrounded. Waya unleashed a combo of kicks and followed up with punches. Everyone dog piled him and I fell as well.
Doug held him down with his super strength and Alien turned on a lamp, his glasses either shining glare into the Baron's eyes or reflecting the Baron's reflection. Alien spoke, mimicking Pro. Hugo Strange off of Batman: Arkham Asylum,
"Good evening Batman, we have much to discuss."
"Really? I love beating this game..."
"Capturing the Baron is much easier than catching Batman."
"Oh! Low blow..."
"Oh, but we don't want it to be... too easy. Now don't we Batman?"
He replied flatly, "I'm not Batman..."
"Battling five supers using their powers with your bare hands? You are none other..."
"Okay, I'm bored, are we done? Let's get pizza..."
"That's not how it works Batman..."
"(Glares at him flatly.)"
"It is common tradition to kidnap the bride during weddings but today we as villainous villains of pranks shall take the groom, Batman!"
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"That," Waya said, "was the craziest bachelor and bachelorette party on the planet."
Indeed it was, we took the Baron to a abandoned construction site that the Baron finished as a secret village for the goon and their families. All weapons were NERFed. Aliens drones even had NERF mini-guns and missiles (how? I have no idea.) Hand-to-hand was permitted and careful use of powers as well; (Sarah rode Fluffy) Needless to say, we had the biggest NERF war on the planet, and our protection glasses had it all filmed.
How in God's name did they get a NERF RPG?
What made it worse; (or better) is that Obsidian and Alien teamed up against everyone else. At first, Alien had his drones programmed to react to being shot by the NERF's like real weapons but at the end he turned that setting off, so his drones were like invincible then, even later, Sarah and Fluffy joined them. It was an absolutely awesome climax.
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The Baron
"It was Waya," I gave Alien 'The Nod'.
"AllFall," Alien said, "could you be so kind as to check on Salamay? AoDD's girl?"
She mumbled a 'uh surrre' and I messaged everyone to meet in the film room. The plan went great but I don't want to kill a recruit because of mere speculations. We all had planned the party to test AllFall and see if she were an agent or no; and the suspicion is still in the air. Once everyone was inside I asked Alien,
"She still going to Salamay?"
He glanced up but back down at his WristPad, "Perhaps she doesn't know where she is."
"Anything overly suspicious," Waya said, "kill her."
Sarah said, "She saved Teddy!"
"We," I said, "are not having this argument again!"
There was a hush in the air and Walker said with a down face,
"She's good."
"Too good." Él Doug confirmed.
"Did everyone see the corkscrew she did during the soak?"
"Who didn't..." Sarah said, reluctant to be having this talk.
"Alien?" He looked up to me; reminding me of the Riddler of Arkham Underworld with his glasses and smile, "Roll tape."
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Elizabeth aka AllFall
It was guard duty until a large group of soldiers ran to me and told me to get them to the top of a building.
"Doug has a message: she's here."
We began running and I gifted all fifty of them the ability to get up the building. Children were at the foot of the building behind me; wanting to come up. I groaned, Alien had said,
"I as Joseph Stalin said, everyone who can hold a gun fights!"
That normally sounds wrong giving guns to children but we all have NERF guns. Nothing immoral about it; kids have done this since cowboy movies came out. The moms even have some guns.
I let them all up; some of them couldn't handle the vertigo and went back down. I looked through my scope and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. My radio buzzed and Doug yelled,
"The power lines!"
I turned my head and caught Walker running down the power-lines like some ninja; or Sly Cooper... or something. She had already lobbed some child-safe stun grenades but I was acting like this was a battle. I vaulted over the edge of the building and slid down the flat surface with my powers.
I hit the ground and got up chasing Walker with my darts. Everyone was shooting now, marvelous barrages of blue, black and orange were following the ninja to the building that we had the Baron in. Hand-to-hand (for knockouts) were okay for soldiers, prohibited against women and children UNLESS they pick up a 2x4 or something to club people with. So when Walker came close she leapt into the air and kicked a soldier as she landed.
I got to the building and gifted nearly all the soldiers close to me and we were going to flood the building. Upon entering, however, Él Doug was knocked out with tape on his mouth in the corner, knocked out guards were everywhere, and it was nearly silent beside the groans from whoever was conscious.
The bad thing about flooding the building with soldiers is that more of them can get hit with one stun grenade. As what was about to happen at this moment when Walker tossed one in the room and shut the door. As soon as I heard someone shout I inverted gravity and placed everyone (not beaten up) on the ceiling.
Some had cursed, a soldier: Private Jackson had said "Weeee,", and others said nothing as their feet was taken out from under them. Walker and the Baron nearly busted in but some of the soldiers were pelting them with NERF projectiles and forced them to retreat. Corporal Wilson looked to me, face pale from nausea,
"Don't ever do that again!"
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The Baron
Pause.
"You see what's odd here guys?"
They didn't answer my nortorical question.
"She claims to only be able to help people walk up walls but here..."
Waya broke the silence, "It seems like she inverted gravity with ease; too much ease."
"Preciously."
"Well," Alien said, "perhaps she's new to her powers."
I frowned, "You don't like her now... do you?"
It wasn't a poke of fun but a dry question; he snorted,
"I didn't vote for her solely because of any attraction whatsoever but Angel 'suspected' that you did. Ignoramus."
Low blow. Especially when my wife was sitting on my lap with popcorn.
"That didn't answer my question."
He smiled and hissed with a truckload of sarcasm,
"I like her as a person."
I smiled, that's his way of saying, "No, I don't even have feelings. *evil laugh*."
"Roll tape."
A soldier busted in with a hazmat on and said panting,
"You all need to see this," and then he looked at the projector and said, "is that me on the ground?"
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