"Let the boy win his spurs."
–Edward III, King of England, Battle of Crecy 1345
Camera ready, MyDarkSide.com is live, and my suit always needs to be the most smashing thing about me. I put my helmet on and got ready, joy and adrenaline pumping throughout my body. Lights, I grab the War Pig. Camera, I already got that. Action, my favorite part!
The bank wall exploded, sirens screamed along with people, and I stepped casually over a guard covering her face. I strode in and everyone was on their knees; lovely. There was no families to worry about either so everything is on the right track.
It was strangely quiet but I didn't care as I dropped the War Pig, my noob tuber, really I needed the rep not the money. The tellers were pretty little things. Everyone might look prettier when they are scared out of their pants... maybe I am a tad psychotic.
"I'm here to make a withdrawal."
Classic, but that's what I felt like going for today.
The tellers complied splendidly and I needed both of them to get to the vault. I even got a old sack with the money sign on it. I was standing at the vault stalwartly, with my cloak-like cape, my helm cloaked with a ghostly skull on it, metal and mesh armor, if the grim reaper came out of DC comics and Assassin's Creed he'd be me.
"Open it."
"No I refuse," one teller said without a single ounce of fear.
My paranoia kicked in, it sounded rehearsed.
I glared down at her, and tasered her with the shocks in my suit. For the annoyance the screams sufficed.
"Open it."
When they did I cradled their necks in my hands, and they shivered in fear and more so from my touch,
"Thanks for the cooperation."
And I smashed their heads together like on the cartoons, knocking them out. I love my little signature move. That out of the way the money sat there, looking pretty. Which aroused suspicion.
This was too easy, the cash was supposed to be in bearer boxes, but a million dollars is right in front of me. I picked up a Benjamin and lifted it up to the light.
It's real, but the blue line was darker than normal. I dug out a fold of hundreds and flipped it through my fingers and it doesn't feel right. How I know? I swim in this stuff at home and everything today was just to classic, to easy.
I heard the clanking of weapons behind me in the hall. I should have known better. It's a trap.
I dived for cover as a stun grenade followed lately behind me. The nade wouldn't have done anything to me in my armor but they'll find a way. I tasered the cash, if it's bugged then they are looking at losing a few million in a blaze. I hit the EMP just as the SS came in like a flood.
The only light was the money going up to the air. I shot a stun grenade of my own from my right hand at the leads before they took cover. My nade, though smaller than theirs, took four of them down.
The others were coming in and I grappling hooked myself to the ceiling. Cloaked with the smoke I disappeared and they took nervous and tentative steps into my domain. The soldiers were equipped with thermal vision, and they were trying to use it. However, I have thermal cloaking and the smoke. I was going to be aight and a dozen of them were left.
One of them cursed, not liking hide and seek. Another reported that I didn't take the bait. One wondered aloud whether or not I was a teleporter. They looked right at me with the vision, one saw me but began taking off his goggles for a better look. Batman has nothing on me as I leapt down in the midst of them.
I smashed two of their heads together and did a diving double-back kick in the faces of two aimed enemies behind me. My metal boots and slam smashed the thermals on these bo-zos, sending plastic shards everywhere. I grappled one's ankle sending him to the ground as I got up and grappled to the back corner of the ceiling. Darkness and smoke are my friends.
A few shot blindly and the guys who I kicked were groaning and the other guys weren't moving. They got ten left now. They clustered around their wounded looking at the ceiling now. Smart fools.
I shot another nade and it knocked six of them from the game. I glided down like a owl and kicked two of the four men left to the floor. I bolted for the door and was out of the room.
I hurried for a hasty departure because SS reinforcements were on the way. I escaped sixteen of them by chance but there might be a hundred Secret Service dudes in a few minutes. Shame, I was really looking forward to augmenting the cash in my vault at home.
All the 'staff' had percussion gauss rifles. These rifles could tear me apart, but the best part about the percussion kind is they shock the victim to unconsciousness. Armored personnel don't fair to well either but my EMP is still on.
If I get close enough that the EMP takes effect then their toast. I also have my tasers and one more nade. There is a dozen of them and the two guys I left in the vault. I need to get out as fast as possible.
I am going to have to sneak through them. I can't go in the ceiling with my freaking Iron Reaper suit and I can't fit in the vents. If I can find the Pig I can get out the way I came. Nevertheless, I don't have many choices.
I grappled to the ceiling to further examine the enemy. The lights were still off and my helmet has everything: thermal, night vision, lightly powered x-rays, and glare protection. Hell, even got unbeatable style! They were still looking for me and trying to form plans. I love ruining people's plans.
I maneuvered myself to a chandelier without the enemy noticing.They weren't stupid, they didn't let each other out of their sight. I swung the chandelier to get to a far ledge, oh this is going to be fun.
I shot my grapple at one of the baddies and was dragging her up to me. The shame was her friends didn't follow. They began rounding everyone else up.
The woman who I was dragging grabbed a wall and I was running out of time. I struggled with her holding the wall screaming for only a second. My gap was closing.
Instead of bringing her to me I brought myself to them. The Assassin's Creed got nothing on me as I landed on her back and karate chopped her neck. The first responder was right in front of me and he rose his gun to shoot.
I moved in with a drop kick, landing on my hands, (one of my signature moves), as his gun sputtered harmless sparks; a loud pop echoed from his chest cavity as he fell. Two bright balls of electricity flew past me. Three people were in front of me and a third blast was coming in.
I slid under it going right for them, loosening the tension on my hook, turning it into a mace. I spun it over my head, smashing it into the third enemy's brain case. The others tried to shoot but I was to close the sparks making my shadows play in the light.
I tasered a lady in the face and blocked a hook from her friend. My grapple just snaked back into my open hand when I shot it in his face. I heard a curse behind me and my skin found a few bullets embedding in it. When I glanced up after the knock-back all seven of the enemy was in front of me.
I shot my last stun grenade with one hand and grappled with the other. I was getting hit with more bullets but my armor was to thick. All seven of the people in front of me either dived or were knocked out and I made my escape.
I lily padded off the chandelier and over the mess, the two SS soldiers were hot on my tail. I was wide open running for the doors and taking damage. I turned as they were charging me and I shot my grapple. I was disappointed when the man dodged it and I hooked on a chair. I smiled, a big office rolly chair.
I kept running and as I drop-kicked the doors open the chair smashed into both the SS, not taking them out but covering my escape. I broke into the sunlight and with a few skilled swings from streetlights and buildings, I disappeared. Swinging I headed for my get-away ride, a two-toned black and red Maserati Birdcage, a rare smart car ten times more expensive than a Lamborghini.
The Maserati asked me where to go and I told her to lead me home. I kicked back and hit the auto-drive. I sighed from exhaustion as my blood was slowly pooling inside of the car.
She purred until the police sirens were long gone and that's when I turned my camera off.
Villains on MyDarkSide.com like to post videos of their accomplishments and brag. Some of them like original video while others make montages, share weapon ideas, or otherwise show off.
I sighed again when I realized that I forgot about the Pig. It wasn't a big deal, it will self destruct itself in two hours when I hit the timer on my phone. I dug my phone out of the glove department and did just that. I was contemplating on doing a direct upload to my profile when the car spoke with that sexy super robot computer voice,
"Warning. Pedestrian."
I hardly said 'do-what' when I, or the auto-drive, creamed someone jade walking. I slammed on the brakes and looked in my rear view mirror. I asked my car how fast it was going a moment ago and it replied,
"I was going forty-five miles per hour, sire."
No I don't get everyone to call me 'sire'. Only my car and phone.
I was shocked, the person in my rear view mirror should be dead but he's moving. Not only that, but his skin was black, like he was burning a moment ago black. I jumped out of my car, this guy is a super.
"Flag me wide."
"Yes, sire."
When I got close the kid was running again. I shouted after him but he kept running. The kid shouted back at me,
"Who are you!?"
I thought about that a moment, what was my villain name going to be?
"Don't worry I am uh a-uh a bank robber!"
"What!?"
"Stop! You'll be safe with me!"
The kid was reluctant to me but said,
"Look behind you idiot!"
I did and I saw Angels; NOT GOOD. Angels are a secret police named after the Greek root, Angelos, meaning messenger. So if you ever saw messengers of your arrest or death; you saw Angels. I don't know if my day could get any worse.
They have three supers to a squad of six. They all have huge guns, and a lot of tech. If that's not the worst part, they always get the ladies in their suits!
They all looked like high tech Templar battle monks, and us the Moslems. The helmets on their heads are better than mine. The armor depends on the situation, light or heavy. Either you get mulched to death by Master Chief with a white cloak like mine, or you get stabbed or sniped by a cloaked ODST. What is going on? I can't tell, but I think it's to late to back out of it now.
I ran considerably faster with someone chasing me. Especially when they are running to me on the walls. Yeah, like as in the flat walls were an awkward staircase. I struggled for reason within my mind. Why are the world's deadliest assassins chasing after a kid?
We ran up and down buildings and they were still on our tail. The kid's burnt skin seemingly regenerated, regaining its color. I feel super sure that the Angels have made the false conclusion that I'm teamed up with the kid as well.
We ran from the street into a café. The kid slid over tables and I tried to do the same, my iron clad breaking the table. After gazing at a few shocked coffee sipping seniors, I got up as fast as I could, and ran to the door.
I simply ran THROUGH the tables and the only exit was the emergency exit. The kid was raking his hands through his hair as I passed. Was the lad confused about what to do? He's getting chased by assassins and Dr. Doom smashed a table, I am positive that the manager is calling the cops. The other reason is, he's more stressed out than being the robbers for cops-and-robbers. Is he more stressed than me? I don't think so.
We came out with a horde of pedestrian traffic blocking our path. We stopped and it took half of a second to figure it out. I grabbed the munchkin by the back and put him on my back,
Through his objections I half-yelled, "Hold on kid!"
I was swinging with bullets following behind me. I did a 360 spin to see the Angels following me with grappling hooks of their own. I was surprised that the Angels were shooting in such a populated area.
Then it hit me, they're shooting because if they miss, they don't miss by far. It almost seemed like they were aiming for lights or other things, yet I don't think they hit a single person. Impressive, considering that they were shooting assault rifles while swinging from grappling hooks.
Swinging, I took a sharp turn right into a window. Looking back I saw that I bought us a little time, even they aren't skilled enough for risks like that. Looking up I saw alarmed civilians, and I 'punched' someone to the floor with my hook to get some panic... and hitting people helps me unwind.
I saw the logo for "Self-Save Insurance," so very... insuring. A mall cop security battalion was pouring into all of the entrances of the room their intentions obviously clear. They don't want me knocking any more dweebs over.
The kid was about to speak, like say thanks, or something like that, but I said fearlessly,
"Hold on."
When he did... and I knocked that one guy down again, I charged the at least fifty promoted dog catchers. With my Iron Fist (literally) I will overwhelm them. I struck the first man with my signature drop-kick, breaking... a lot of something and caused him to be spitting blood.
In a flurry of blocks and counters I knocked a dozen of them down. A computer hit me in the face and I got knocked back. The guards got out their batons and charged, I big booted one, dodged a swipe and tasered him, blocked a swing breaking the stick I return his 'lovely' offer by breaking his face.
I got hit by another computer and slowly turned that direction. The army of 35 or so newbs hesitated for fear. One of the punks was purposely going for computers.
They charged me again and I made my way to one of the hundreds of offices. I ripped it from the ground. I don't have enough power for another EMP but I can-- what the?!
"What the heck are you doing here kid!"
He scowled, "The security was trying to grab your stupid cape and grabbed me idiot!"
I said, "Move!"- as I shoved him away from the desks power socket.
"Look out moron!"
He shot an ark of electricity into the guards closing in. If I wasn't in all this chaos, I'd ask the brat to charge my suit and built in iPod. I looked at him,
"If you get into this mess again, remember this."
My souped and ready taser touched the socket causing the lights to flicker and moan. A hundred or more, nah, two-hundred more security guys were coming into the room. Behind us I heard the Angels closing in, and all around me the computers started making a boiling sound.
I realized that my camera has been recording for three minutes, ever since I got hit by the first computer. Perfect...
The computer that one guy was trying to get blew up first. He went to the ground in a bloody mess, he might be the first death today. In a crazy and random reaction more computers were exploding. Chaos was spreading wherever the power surge blew something up.
The city used to have circuit breakers, but with super villains worse than me running around, the infrastructure has suffered. Only the Angels were unaffected by the fireworks. The whites of their gear illuminated the light of the explosions, and the relentless bellicosity they controlled, I felt a real twinge of intimidation.
"C'mon kid."
"Pssh," he sneered, "I ain't going with chu!"
I grabbed him with my grappling arm and hooked it up on him. I ran giving it a little line, he tried to belligerently object before his screaming as I dragged him. I felt liked I was in a war zone with the gunfire and explosions but I made it to the silence of the hall.
People were cowering behind doors, a cleaner's cart, and even a 'warning: wet floor sign'. I knew that the kid was alive with the yelps he'd make when he hits something. Passing the warning sign I slipped in the water and cracked the floor.
'Man,' I thought, 'should have bought the rubber soles for the boots.'
At that moment the fire alarms sounded and the sprinklers kicked on. I chastised myself and glanced at my wrist to see where my car was. I was about to call her when my equipment's circuit breaker went off, I turned to the kid glaring red at him. The kid remembered... and tried to electrocute me.
I got loads of money, I admit, the circuit breaker costed a chalk load. I am in a metal suit, but with a thick rubber mesh spandex armor thing that didn't let me get shocked.
The grapple unhooked and the kid looked at me like I shocked him. He took off down a side hall and I followed crying bloody murder. I can't call my super hot escape ride!
I was slipping around everywhere and he was too. Small schools of people who were evacuating avoided me. I ran through one and I lost the kid.
I advanced to listen for his yelling. To my left I heard fighting, I was pleased and surprised to see the punk finishing three guards by reversing a rear choke by throwing the guy on the floor. Seeing me, he continued to run.
I reluctantly continued to chase.
All the halls basically looked the same the only differences were carts here, pretty ladies there, and a few ugly guys everywhere. I ran past the arms of a 'dog-catcher' and then they joined in chasing me. Chasing or slipping I don't know, the kid was still running and I about praised him in my mind for his endurance.
Then a in-wall flat screen exploded right in front of him making him slip. I tried to pick up my pace but the guys behind me grabbed my cloak. Then it was my turn to slip.
They desperately went for a dog pile. The four of them almost stopped me, but I grabbed two of their wrists and crushed them. I didn't break them but I almost did.
They rolled around holding their wrists screaming with red faces as the other two hopelessly tried to stop me. One gave up and ran as the other full-mounted me and broke his hand on my face. I returned his kindness as I broke his face.
I got up and the kid was gone. I can't grapple out of here until my systems come back on. I glanced at the direction he ran, a wall. Then I looked at my Iron Fists and got an idea.
I ran, and ran picking up speed squaring my shoulder. I smashed through the wall and knocked someone down. I looked left and right, didn't see him.
He was right in front of me.
He got up and still was running! I think he's ran a mile or two or something! I stumbled after him. Man, I could really use some water...
Oh,... yeah... sprinklers.
On the chase a wall blew up in front of him and Angels came out. The brat ran back to me real quick but the Angels grappled him. They don't have circuit breakers though.
He ripped the hook out and shocked the Angel to the ground, blood oozing out of the helmet. The rest of the Angels came shooting soundly, and I mean that as, my helmet never deflected so many bullets in my life! I got to cover, the kid in my arms,
He didn't like my Iron Man grip,
"Aight, aight! I won't run again!"
I replied darkly when I was sure that we were safe,
"You're right."
I hit him over the head, knocking him out. I took my money signed bag and put him in it. As I just finished tying the bag, my super villain Apple Watch tablet thing came on. It was shot just a few seconds ago with the Angels.
I did well in controlling my rage, I only knocked one lady down to make me feel better. The screen is on, telling me where the car is and that my camera's have gotten all of this, but the touch controls are nonexistent so it's useless. I know where my car is... driving away from me until I call her.
I ran to the nearest window, but I was in a flipping skyscraper. The windows were nice and big, I grappled the floor just before my awesome kick out the window. I rappelled down the building to the best of my ability.
Cops and like all the city's emergency personnel were down there, I passed a helicopter. Firefighters were in a ladder truck and I landed right in front of them. I glared ruthlessly at the two men with a fire hose, but they stood there,
I said in a low demanding voice,
"Move."
When they tried to aim the hose at me I said forget it. I used my grapple as a mace and knocked one off the ladder landing hard on the truck. The hose needed two men on it, so when the hose kicked on it knocked the other guy off and I made my leave; the hose breaking windows and otherwise making chaos with the several hundred pounds of water pressure per second.
I tried to make a way to my car, it should be driving like a normal person. Thing is, normal people drive like a New York taxi driver. It may not be easy to get to my car and I have had enough for today.
I swung from light poles, trees, and billboards with pretty woman or graffiti on them with my grapple. Then a helicopter caught up with me, I could smell the snipers inside. The cracks of thunder confirmed my suspicions.
Cops in cars and motorcycles were coming in and it was looking... interesting. I might just have to fight for my ticket home, no big deal I guess. Let's get this party started right.
I landed on a cop car, and started pounding the driver side with my Fist. A shotgun boomed from the passenger side, pellets uselessly pelting me. He just helped a lot.
I leapt from the car after I hooked on the passenger from the small hole. I was skiing across the street on my iron boots and the kid was safe in my bag. It has a Kevlar inlining to protect the money,... not give it air though.
A motorcycle came close to me and I went over to kick the bike into the endless lines of parked cars. It crunched up very nicely. Finally the cop car slammed the breaks trying to get me to collide with it, I used that plus momentum to launch myself into the air.
The sniper fired at me when it looked like I was gonna hit the car. In order to do so, the helicopter had to be low and steady. Perfect time for a sky-jack.
My hook went through the windshield and hit in the back of the interior of the chopper. I reeled in the line as fast as possible before the pilot or sniper can gather any thoughts. I had made ground; not enough ground.
The pilot got the 'sweet' idea of moving his joysticks slightly, smashing me against buildings. I tried to manage, and I was almost to the chopper. I landed my feet on a building perfectly to break the impact. Steel men can't rebound that good and my 500-800 pounds of iron smashed through the brick wall. Epic fail.
The second my face limply fell on someone's toilet I loosened my hook. The second I saw a screaming woman I planned to leave. The second that she threw a towel at me I went for my bag. The second I saw the kid going out the window I roared after the brat.
I landed on a nosy pedestrian trying to get some stuff for YouTube. I knocked his lights out for the nosiness; I hate nosy people. The chase for the kid was short as he came running back to me and the Angels followed close behind him.
Crud. It's done for the kid. If I don't kill them all now he or I will be plugged full of lead. I am out of grenades, all six of them are coming, my grapple can't take them out.
I get tired of these games of masks and trying to hide my past. One suit leads to another. I take a gauntlet off, exposing my naked hand. But the actor in them all is the same.
Unlike others, I shed blood with regret.
I yelled at the kid to hit the deck. From my body and out of my hand I launch a blast of energy. The blast slapped the kid against my legs, lifting him off the ground to do so, three cars went barrel rolling into the street, the human Angels turned into bloody muck, a building seemed unstable, and the Angels with powers were blown away like Super shrapnel from the blast. Smoke and dust was falling around us as I clenched my teeth, disappointed with the fact that I can't leave my old self behind.
I reached for the kid after I put my glove on and the terd monkey was asleep from pure exhaustion. I got ready to run for it and I saw that the helicopter was leaving. Sirens were more distant and I felt like they called off the chase. Sometimes letting me go saves more property and lives than if they chased me but maybe I simply caused enough paperwork for the police today.
---------------
Dusk that day...
The leaves billowed behind my Maserati, as if the leaves were flames following close behind me. The kid was asleep in the passenger seat. The city more distant than any of the leaves I left behind.
I pondered on several things, especially my blood loss. I can doctor myself but not that good. I have X-rays, CATscans, and a magnetic chamber I could use for the half-hundred bullets weakly embedded in my skin. I got the #1 hospital's gear, swimming pool of Benjamin's required (literally...).
I also thought about the kid leaving brat droppings everywhere, or doing something stupid like calling the cops. I got plenty of food and rooms to go around. A medic to pull the bullets out more properly would be nice. It's trust that I lack.
The biggest thing I ponder is my base's nuclear emission. My suit's radiation insolation is punctured and I don't want to buy more. I fear that I might be the end of the kid instead of his savior.
My home is bathed in radiation. This is the reason I never make friends, or minions. Why don't you think I have a harlem of pretty women?
On the second thought...
Anyway, the kid is a Super so I could have a chance and Supers naturally have stronger immune systems and metabolisms. So if he's unaffected by the radiation I'd be a... little happier in this world. It'd be nice to have a friend; if not I will smother the cuss in his sleep.
I picked up my phone to see several messages on it; ... nobody sends me messages. Is it another co-villain, a cruddy late wannabe hero, or Martians coming to take MY world? No, it wasn't any of these, it was charities.
I ran my gloved hand down my helmet. I thought that this was next week? Turned out all seven of them sent their requests early. Wouldn't blame 'em, charities were always asking for handouts, but my million dollar donations are a special story. I told them all that if they contacted me early again I'll give them half or none, and off went seven million dollars. No, if you're asking I don't get good tax returns.
In reality, I'm not one of the bad guys, I'm a good guy whose been cursed. The only way for me to remove this curse is crime, and crime pays. Even with wealth I am having trouble finding the cure to stop my problems.
The gates to my mansion on the outskirts of the city opened. I woke the kid as I stumbled out of the car. He got out groggily and seeing me trailing blood snapped to attention.
"Hey! You're bleeding!"
"I was bleeding before I helped you moron!"
He covered his mouth and observed his surroundings.
"This is your crib?"
I was climbing up the steps, removing my helmet as I approached my front door. He shifted his weight nervously as he finally saw my face. At first I thought it was my helmet hair, but it was my face holding the curse that haunted me.
"If you prove yourself, this can be OUR crib."
He was shocked and filled with a son-like desire to please me.
"IF not, I'll smother you in your sleep."