Over the weekend, both Kanako and Haruna opted to stay home. However, while Haruna fended off Chiyo's constant texts begging her to hang out, Kanako was dealing with things on her own mind. "I wonder if Mi-chan's still mad at me..." she thought. The last time the topic of her secret had come up, Kanako had used a sharper tongue than she had meant to, causing Michi to get angry with her. "I know she wants to know, but..." Kanako trailed off in her own head. She was pretty sure she knew how explaining that would go. "Mi-chan would react in every way except accepting..." Kanako sighed.
The longer her fake relationship with Haruna went on, the more Kanako was beginning to feel like it was doing more harm than good for her. They were nearing a week since it began, but every day she felt like she had been given a month's worth of insults and anger doled out from Haruna. It seemed like no matter how much Kanako tried to keep her head up and brush it off, some of the words kept slipping through her cracks.
Out of recent habit, Kanako let out a long and audible sigh as she laid on the couch in her living room, prompting her mom to stop typing on her computer and give a concerned stare to her daughter. "You sure have been sighing a lot lately sweetheart. Is everything okay?" she asked. "Huh? I have?" Kanako said, not realizing it. "I guess school's just been kinda hectic." "Oh really? Lots of homework or tests?" her mom speculated. "No, nothing like that. Just... people problems I guess," Kanako hesitated on whether or not she should go further. Obviously if she couldn't tell Michi about her "deal," there's no way she could tell her own mother. But, maybe there was some way to at least get a little advice.
"Hey mom," Kanako began. "If you had to spend time with someone who was always mean to you, how would you handle it?" "Someone being mean to me? Kanako, you aren't getting bullied at school are you?!" her mom asked in a panic. "N-No! It's just a question!" Kanako quickly corrected her, but added to herself: "At least, I don't think I'm being bullied..."
"Hmm, well, that is a difficult question. Normally you could just walk away, but if you couldn't, then..." Kanako's mother sat in thought for a moment. "I think it would be best if you told them exactly how you feel and that they're hurting your feelings." Kanako took a second to process that answer, trying to apply it to Haruna. "...But what if doing that just causes more problems?" Kanako asked. "If being honest about your feelings is going to make things worse somehow, then regardless of the circumstances, it would probably be best for you to cut ties with that person," her mom said easily. "You shouldn't have to suffer because of another. Sweetheart, if there's someone in your life like that right now, I think you should probably find a way to get away from them."
The words her mother spoke hit Kanako right in her core. She knew all of that was true. In fact, that was something that had been instilled in her at a young age. Be kind, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. And yet, with Haruna, Kanako found that very difficult to do. "I don't want to fight," she thought. "But what can I do to make her treat me even like a human being, let alone her former childhood friend?"
That was a question on Kanako's mind for most of the rest of the day. Whether she was sitting on the couch, going to the store to get ingredients for dinner, or soaking in the bath, the predicament wouldn't leave her. As she sat in the warm water mindlessly twirling her finger in it, Kanako's brain went through what felt like every possible solution. Ultimately though, she was left with only one conclusion: no matter what she did, things between her and Haruna probably wouldn't change.
"She's just too angry with me, all the time..." Kanako sighed as she sank deeper into the water, running her flushed lips through it and creating bubbles on the surface. "She'll never listen to anything I have to say..."
As Kanako's mind finally found a moment of solitary, another, connected thought hopped into her train of thought. "We're both doing this because we both love Akio-kun," Kanako remembered. "..." She let that sink in before having a harsh realization. "The only way I can be with him is if I stay with Haruna for a year... But what if I can't? What if I'm already at my limit? Does that mean my feelings for Akio-kun were shallow? Or, does it mean I'm just a weak person?"
The harder Kanako thought, the fainter the details of her surroundings became. The tile of the walls of the bathroom began to blend together into one steady sheet, and the lights appeared to be glowing even brighter. Gradually the room shifted into a vertical left turn, causing quite a dizzying effect. The water that Kanako had been soaking in made her feel more like she was floating. And then, as if someone was turning a dial, the room went from blinding bright to a dimmer dark, until finally, everything was pitch black.
When Kanako opened her eyes again, she found herself lying on a futon laid out on the floor of her living room. Realizing her head felt heavier than it should, she reached up with her right hand to find a wet towel draped across her forehead. Looking down upon herself, Kanako observed that she was now wearing a pair of her pink pajama pants, but the shirt was one that didn't match, being pulled from the back of her closet. It was the t-shirt Naomi had had all the club members wear for recruitment day.
"Huh? What... happened? How did I... get here?" Kanako asked weakly to no one. However, there was someone listening, as her mother rushed over to her. "Oh thank goodness you're awake! When you didn't answer when I called your name I got so worried. Then I found you passed out in the tub! Honestly, you should really watch how long you're in there! You're not a child anymore you know!" Kanako's mom lectured her. "S-sorry..." she said meekly. It wasn't long before that feeling was quickly replaced by shock.
"W-wait! Mom, d-did you... dress me?" she asked. "Hm? Of course I did," Kanako's mother said in a tone that conveyed that much should've been obvious. "T-then you saw..." Kanako mumbled, getting conscious of her figure. She had never really thought much about it before, but ever since Haruna had called it disgusting, Kanako had become more wary about others seeing her body. "Oh come now dear, there's no need to feel embarrassed. It's nothing I haven't seen before." Her mother said that, but if anything, it seemed to make Kanako feel worse.
After lying in the same spot for another hour and drinking plenty of water, Kanako was finally rested and hydrated enough to her mother's satisfaction. "I know it's still the weekend, but you should probably get to bed," she said. "But it's only 8 o'clock!" Kanako protested. "I think you should recover as much as possible! Now up to bed with you!" her mom pushed her.
Even if it was by her parent's order, Kanako wasn't sleepy in the slightest. She definitely didn't want to lay on her bed after doing that same thing for an hour downstairs. "What should I do?" she wondered. "My homework's done. I studied enough for the test on Monday..." It was as she looked for something to occupy her time that Kanako's vision caught the edge of a binder just barely jutting out from the bottom of her small bookcase. Reaching down to grab it, Kanako flipped it open, revealing memories of a time that were much happier for all parties involved.
There was one particular picture in the photo album she held that had Kanako's attention. It was actually the last picture. In it, the two people featured were herself and Haruna, much younger than now. They were standing in a photo booth, following the instructions of the machine and making various poses. Out of all the ones they took though, there was only one Kanako had kept. The pose was called Besties, and it required one person to wrap their arms around the side of the waist of the other person. In this case, Kanako had been the individual to do the wrapping, clinging to Haruna and beaming with delight. Meanwhile, Haruna looked somewhat uncomfortable, but she wasn't angry either. The expression she made was hard to describe, but Kanako had always taken it as her having fun.
The fun times didn't last much longer. Two weeks after that day, Kanako and Haruna's friendship fell to pieces. There were no more days of hanging out, no more playing and certainly no more Besties.
As she stared at the photo, Kanako saw a drop of liquid fall onto it. Following the trail, she found that the source was her own eyes. Tears had come to be in the corners of them, reminding Kanako of the present pain that had befallen her in the last couple of years. Rubbing her eyes to dry them, Kanako said to herself:
"I just wish... we were friends again..."
With a flood of emotions combining to form a tremendous weight atop her shoulders, Kanako began to feel tired very quickly and decided that now would be a good time for sleep. As the girl slept, Saturday's night darkened and then lightened, giving way to Sunday's morning sunrise.
When Kanako woke up, she felt much better than she had after passing out, but the storm inside her was still picking up its pace. Doing her best to ignore it, Kanako slid out of her warm bed and put on slippers that were shaped like bunnies. Glancing down her chest, she was met with the smile of a piece of bread that was pressed upon her shirt. "I forgot to change out of this..." she thought, both laughing to herself and regretting she still had Naomi's ridiculous club shirt on.
Slowly making her way down the steps, Kanako heard a conversation coming from the kitchen. It was between her mother and father. Stopping to try to eavesdrop better, Kanako stuck out her ear with her hand cupped around it.
"I'm just worried about her," her mother said.
"I'm sure she's fine. Kanako's a teenage girl. Stuff that seems weird or wrong to us is perfectly normal to girls her age," her father said logically.
"But all the sighing... I really think something is going on..."
Kanako leaned over the rail to try to hear better, but due to her actions, a creaking sound erupted from the step she was on, breaking the one-to-one tranquility of conversation her parents had been taking advantage of. "Huh? Kanako, is that you?" her dad called. "U-um, y-yeah, it's me!" she called back, feeling embarrassed, both for eavesdropping and for getting caught. "Come in here and come have breakfast!' her dad said. "O-okay!"
While eating. Kanako noticed that her mother looked anxious. Giving her a quizzical look, Kanako got an answer. "You didn't... overhear us earlier, did you?" her mom asked. "H-huh? Um, no! Not at all!" Kanako lied. "What, are you guys keeping secrets from me?" she joked. "Not if our love of you qualifies as a secret," her dad said from behind a newspaper. Kanako cringed a little at that. "Wow dad, that's kinda cheesy." "Huh?! I thought it would sound sweet!"
When breakfast was over, Kanako offered to wash the dishes. She hoped that doing a task would distract her from her thoughts, but it turned out that doing something as idle as dishwashing only led to her mind being even freer to think about stuff she was trying to ignore. Particularly now, Kanako was thinking about the conversation she had "accidently" overheard.
"Even my parents know something's different," she thought. "Kanako dear, I think that plate is clean enough," her mom said. "You've been scrubbing it for the last five minutes. Any more and it might start to disappear." Kanako looked down at the dish in her hand and saw it was in fact the same one she had grabbed earlier. "Ah!" she exclaimed. "S-sorry!"
Once the chores were done, Kanako decided she'd do her best to relax and enjoy the rest of her weekend. Unfortunately, nothing Kanako tried worked. She read a book, watched TV, talked on the phone with Itsuki, but no matter what she did, her head was still filled with her situation. And, as the day wore on, another feeling came back: dread. "I almost don't even want to go to school tomorrow..." Kanako thought dejectedly.
*****
Regardless of how much she wished it not to be, Sunday still turned into Monday, and it began with Haruna once again giving Kanako a very rude awakening. "Come on! How many times do we have to do this?! Get your damn ass out of bed! I woke up late already, so if you don't get ready quick we really will be late and then I'll be really angry! Go, move it!"
Through all the screaming, Kanako somehow managed to get dressed and get her things together at a speed to Haruna's liking. However, that didn't seem to do anything to improve her mood. As they walked, Kanako regrettably tried to make conversation. "S-so, how was your weekend?" she asked nervously. "It was great!" Haruna said in an unusually happy tone. "R-really?! What happened?" Kanako said, indulging the sudden change in mood. "I didn't have to see you," Haruna said in a suddenly much ruder tone. "O-oh..." Kanako said sadly. "I can't believe I fell for that fake-out..."
Monday was more of the same as it had been and Kanako was really beginning to feel the heat from Haruna by the time they reached their houses after school and club that day. Today had seemed to be an especially harsh level of insulting from beginning to end. "This sucks..."
Tuesday was basically a duplicate of Monday to Kanako, but her focus in class was even less than before. To make matters worse, she still hadn't been able to make up with Michi. By the time club rolled around, Kanako was in no condition to be handling a kitchen.
"Hi everyone..." Kanako said softly. She was the last to arrive, and the other members stared at her. "Are you okay Kana-chan? You don't look so good," Naomi observed. "I'm fine. Just tired," Kanako lied. "Well if you say so," Naomi said, not sure whether to believe her or not. However, it was clear to Kanako that Michi didn't. Even if she was mad, Michi still looked concerned. "Alright everyone, to the counters!" Naomi ordered.
As Kanako grabbed her ingredients to prep, she found she was still lost in thought. "What should I do about Mi-chan? And Haruna? I got Monday's test back too and the grade was terrible..." Kanako picked up a knife on her counter and began cutting a tomato. "I need to make up with Mi-chan. How can I do that without telling her what's going on? Then there's Haruna. Can I be more honest with her? I want to, but-"
"KANA-CHAN!" Naomi screamed, suddenly grabbing Kanako's wrist.
"Huh?" Kanako said in a daze. "BE CAREFUL! YOU ALMOST STARTED CUTTING YOUR FINGERS!" Naomi yelled. Looking down at her hand, Kanako saw that her senpai had stopped the knife about two centimeters above the tips of her left hand's nails. "Oh... oh no..." Kanako gasped. Naomi pulled the knife from her hand. "I...I'm so sorry Naomi-senpai... I didn't mean to scare you like that..." Naomi stared at Kanako, along with the others.
"Maybe you should go home for today," Rina said. Kanako wanted to protest, but the looks in everyone else's eyes told her that they were in agreement. Out of all of them, Michi's showed the most worry. "O-okay..." Kanako said, quiet as a mouse. Grabbing her stuff, Kanako shuffled over toward the door. "Feel better Kana-chan!" Saki called innocently. "Thanks Saki-chan..."
"What's wrong with me?" Kanako thought as she walked to the school gate. "It's like my head is put on both upside-down and backwards..." When she reached the gate, Haruna was nowhere to be found. "That makes sense. I was only in club for ten minutes." So Kanako waited.
When Haruna arrived, she showed the briefest of moments of surprise before settling back into her typical scowl. "What are you doing here already?" she asked, sounding annoyed as usual. "I got out early..." Kanako half-told the truth. "You should've told me. I wasted my time sitting around," Haruna said, beginning to head home. Kanako wanted to point out she didn't know where Haruna had been nor did she have Haruna's number anymore, but she couldn't seem to make her mouth say more than a few words at a time.
As they walked, Haruna suddenly let out a loud sigh, then turned to Kanako. "Tomorrow, you're eating lunch with me," she said as if it was already decided. "H-huh?!" Kanako exclaimed, being briefly snapped out of her stupor. "Why?" Haruna sighed again. "Because after Miyashita-kun said something to me, I decided we don't have much of a choice! Remember, this isn't for you! You're just a means to an end, a tool, got it?!" Haruna shouted. Kanako wanted to argue, to tell Haruna that she wanted to spend that time with her friends, but... nothing more would come out except: "Okay..."
*****
When lunchtime on Wednesday came to be, Kanako was still in a more somber mood. It was especially fueled by her dread of having to now spend even more time with a girl who seemed to view her as a vile insect. "Why did I even agree to this? I should've said no..." Kanako thought in hindsight. Just before they had parted ways when they got to school, Haruna had told Kanako that she and Chiyo Wakabayashi would be on the roof. So after informing her friends that she wouldn't be joining them today, and as slow as she could manage, Kanako carried each foot that felt like it weighed a million pounds onto each successive step until finally, she arrived at the door.
Kanako grabbed the handle and twisted it, causing the door to release its grip on the frame and open. Through it, she saw multiple groups of people sitting and standing around, enjoying the sunny, cloudless sky and soft breeze that spring generously gave. "I never realized this many people came up here," she thought. Then, straight ahead of where she stood, there were the two girls Kanako was set to meet. They were both sitting. One had long, jet-black hair, wearing her uniform as normally as possible. Her face didn't look mad, but it's not like you could call it happy either. Across from her was a much more colorful individual. The other girl's hair was dyed a brilliant auburn color, with a golden tip highlighting her side ponytail. The buttons on her shirt were undone so far down you could see the tip-top of her bra (if she was wearing one) if she moved just right. Despite her sitting position, Kanako could tell the girl's skirt was higher than it should be. Over top of it all was a bright red, glittering jacket that, when originally given out by the school, was a calm blue. Mentally preparing herself, Kanako gradually made her way over to them.
"H-hello..." she said softly. "Hm? Ah, it's Kana-chan!" Chiyo exclaimed. "Hey, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Chiyo! Chiyo Wakabayashi! Please keep it informal!" she said with a wink as she also shook Kanako's hand vigorously. "Come on, sit down, sit down!" Kanako had to admit, for as flashy as Chiyo was and the sizeable reputation that followed her, she definitely gave off a comforting air.
"Isn't this great Haru-chi? She actually came!" Chiyo said excitedly. Haruna's only response was a scoff. "Ignore her, she doesn't understand that this is a good thing," Chiyo told Kanako. However, this seemed to warrant more than a grunt. "How the hell is this a good thing? My food tastes horrible because she's here now," Haruna spat. "Come on Haru-chi, be nice," Chiyo said, still smiling, but it was clear a level of unease was beginning to rise within her.
"Be nice? Come on Chiyo, seriously? You know the whole story, so why should I bother putting on a face for you, or anybody for that matter?" Haruna said. "W-wait," Kanako chimed in. "What do you mean, everything? You t-told her?" "Huh? Yeah, so what? I'm sure your puny little friends know too, so who cares?" Haruna said, taking a bite of a sandwich. "No..." Kanako said very softly. "Haah?!" Haruna said through a mouthful, then swallowed. "Whaddaya mean no?!" Then, unexpectedly, Haruna began to laugh.
"Oh, this is hilarious!" Haruna cackled. "You seriously haven't told anyone? I can't believe you're actually keeping it a secret! It's not like we're actually two girls in a relationship or something, stupid!" "It's not like you were that eager to explain either Haru-chi," Chiyo pointed out. "Shut up! At least I told someone! This idiot wants to actually keep it a secret and close to her heart like some kind of precious thing! That's so gross and pathetic!"
Kanako could feel the temperature in her face rising. "I-It's not like I treasure it or anything..." she said weakly. "God, sometimes I forgot how much I hate that attitude of yours," Haruna continued, more serious now. "You don't treasure it? I don't give a damn if you do! They say one man's trash is another man's treasure, but I can definitely say that all I see is garbage here!" "Haru-chi!" Chiyo said with a gasp. "Sorry, Kana-chan, she doesn't mean it." "Like hell I don't mean it!" Haruna exclaimed. "This whole thing is a bunch of trash and right in the middle of it all is the central piece herself!" Haruna pointed to Kanako.
"Haru-chi, that's enough!" Chiyo cried. "No it isn't!" Haruna yelled back. "Screw her and this stupid deal! Looking at her constantly makes my stomach churn and having to hear that high, squeaky voice of hers gives me a headache! She's nothing but a pathetic mouse of a girl who needs an attitude adjustment. Not that she'd get it though. Nothing anyone would say could possibly stick in that idiotic birdbrain of hers!"
Suddenly Kanako stood up. "What, you gonna try to fight me or something?" Haruna said, standing up with her.
"...enough..." Kanako said faintly.
"Huh? I can't her that itty-bitty voice of yours," Haruna taunted.
"I said," Kanako began, looking up fiercely at Haruna. "I've had enough."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Haruna said, her tone changing a little bit to more surprised than mad. "This whole time... This whole entire time, you've been nothing but a complete and utter jerk," Kanako began, her words sounding shaky but strong. "You constantly insult and berate me, you tell me to shut up and disregard anything I have to say. I've tried to be nice and make the best of this. Not just for me, but for you too, because we both love Akio-kun. But, I've realized something. I didn't want to admit it, but it's true. Haruna, you're a bully."
"A bully?!" Haruna repeated, but before she could go on the attack, she was back on defense. "Yes. You're a horrible, terrible girl who gets her kicks off of hurting me. I don't know what sort of problems you've been dealing with over the last couple of years, but don't take it out on me!" Kanako shouted, drawing more attention than they already had. "So, if I have to choose between trying to be with Akio-kun and putting up with you, I'd rather give up on my feelings."
With tears beginning to well up in her eyes, Kanako said one final thing. "So that's it. I'm done."
Not wanting to give Haruna any sort of chance to retort, Kanako ran. She bolted for the door and flung it open. To her surprise, she found Akio standing in the door way. "No!" Kanako shouted inside, shaking her head. "He's the last person I want to see!" So she shot past him and sprinted down the stairs, the tears now uncontrollably streaming down her face.
End of Chapter Six.