a/n:
Hi! Hohoho. I decided to lengthen the chapters of this story. Dapat kasi 20 chapters lang siya overall pero as you can probably already see, marami pang hidden something something ang hindi napupuntahan ng libro. Pero sigurado akong hindi siya magte-take ng more than 40 chapters. 'Yun lang, and happy reading~~
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Saturday. 8 AM.
I don't know what came over me but I suddenly found myself following Alec to their house to practice our audition piece.
This morning, I suddenly heard a knock on my door and when I opened it, Alec was there and told me we're going to his house. Syempre nagtaka ako. Sabi niya mag-pa-practice daw kami ng maaga dahil sobrang late na nung malaman naming mago-audition kami katambal ng isa't-isa.
Yes, dalawa kaming mago-audition. Siya ang magiging piano accompanist ko at syempre kakanta naman ako para sa kaniya. Sir Alvarez was the one who came up with this idea. Sabi niya mas mawawala raw ang kaba ko pag kasama ko si Alec. Hindi naman kasi required na may kasamang pianist. Kung wala akong makuhang pianist, sila na mismo ang bahalang mag-assign sakin.
In the end, I didn't protest. I'm sure both Red and Ruth will be happy about this. I'm taking one step closer to going back to who I was before.
Nagpahatid kami kay manong driver papuntang mansion nila Alec. Natuwa nga ako't hindi na siya nagpakipot pang magpahatid kay manong eh.
"Have any songs in mind?" tanong niya saakin ilang minuto pagkatapos naming makapasok ng kotse.
"Siguro, A Broken Wing by Martina McBride," kumunot ang noo niya. Okay... hindi niya alam kung ano ang kantang iyon.
Nilabas ko ang earphones ko at pinasak ito sa aking iphone. nilagay ko sa isang tenga ko ang earphone at binigay sa kaniya ang isa. Now I'm in the mood for music.
Tinanggal niya ang seatbelt niya at umupo sa gita ng upuan sa likod. May seatbelt din doon na pangbata kaya 'yun ang ginamit niya.
I searched through my phone, "Demi Lovato? Wow. She's awesome," sumulyap ako saglit kay Alec na nakadikit na ang braso saakin.
"Talaga? She's my favorite singer."
Tumango siya, "she got the spunk," ipinagpatuloy ko na ang paghahanap sa kanta.
"Here it is," tinignan ko muna kung nakalagay na sa tenga niya ang earphones ko at saka ko pinlay ang kanta.
"The song's old school but it is mellow. That'll make things easier for me, but I don't know about you. What do you think?" hindi niya ako pinansin kaya hinintay ko munang matapos ang kanta bago siya tanungin muli. Concentrated kasi siya.
"You think you will be able to sing as big as this?"
"Well, I can try. Do you want to do this song?"
"I'm fine with it."
"Then it's settled," nagpatugtog ako ng ibang music. Ni-remix ko 'yung list ko at saka sumandal sa upuan ko at pumikit. To my surprise, Alec didn't give my earphones back so we stayed in the same position for a while.
Tapos nakarating na kami sa bahay nila.
"Bakit nga pala rito mo pa gustong mag-practice? May ibang lugar namang pwedeng puntahan," I said as we get off the car. I bid manong goodbye and we walked inside his house. Their house is taller than ours but our house is wider than theirs. And like ours, the colors used outside of their mansion are white and brown. Pati fountain ilang feet mula sa front door mayroon din sila.
"Saan ka ba makakakita ng lugar na may piano at pinapagamit ng libre ang piano nila? Mas mabuti pang dito na lang tayo magpractice." Okay. Sabi ko nga.
Kinuha niya ang susi ng bahay nila at saka pumasok na kami sa loob. Pagkapasok namin nag-bukas kaagad ang ilaw. Their place gives a feeling of modernity with the mostly brown colored furniture and square sectional sofas.
At, katulad din ng bahay namin, tahimik ang buong lugar. It doesn't look like they're hiring maids which makes sense because uncle London needed mom to take care of his sons. If they do have maids, they wouldn't have to move away from their house.
We entered a room in the second floor. Music room ito na puno ng mga instrumento at kagamitan para sa musika. There's a big piano in the right corner of the room and different kinds of violin. May mga ilang drums ding nakaorganize sa bandang gilid ng room. At sa kabilang dako naman, makikita mo ang isang device na ginagamit para magrecord o mag-edit ng mga sounds. Syempre meron ding mikropono para sa pag-awit.
This room makes me think of the music room we used to have...
Nakarinig ako ng kaluskos sa sulok malapit sa piano kaya lumingon ako at nakitang nakaupo na si Alec.
He turned his head towards me, "tell me if I got it right." Bumalik na siya ulit ng piano at nagsimulang tumugtog. I can see how his back moves as he press the piano keys in harmony. Nung una, medyo mahina pa ang pagpe-play niya pero habang tumatagal napansin kong unti-unti siyang nahihigop ng musika and now he's so into the music. The sound he made vibrated across the room occupying every nook and cranny, even my heart.
Nang matapos na siya, hindi ko maiwasang pumalakpak sa husay niya. Muntikan pa akong lumuha sa ganda ng paraan niya ng pagpiano.
This guy only heard the music once yet he played it like a pro. Fearsome.
Humingal pa siya ng kaunti at humarap sa akin, "tama ba lahat?" I nodded. He has this rugged look at seryosong seryyoso ang itsura niya. Nasarapan tuloy akong tignan ang mukha niya.
"Now, do you want to try it with your voice?" biglang lumakas ang pintig ng dibdib ko at pakiramdam ko nawala na ang katiting na natitirang boses ko.
"O-okay."
He started playing the melody and I froze. I suddenly forgot all the lyrics I've known for years. A huge lump in my throat formed to the point that I couldn't even breathe. Panic start to creep up on me as I try to remember which words I should be saying.
Alec looked in my direction and I knew I messed it up.
"You okay?" hindi na niya tinuloy ang pagpapatunog sa piano at tumingin pa saakin. Lahat ng lamig ko sa katawan kanina, umalis sa mukha ko at napalitan ng pagkapaso ng pisngi ko sa init. Ni hindi ko maipon ang lakas ng boses ko para magsabi ng oo.
I nodded.
"Ulitin natin?" no.
I don't think I can do this.
No matter how many times we try to practice, nothing will come out of my mouth.
I'm going to be voiceless forever.
It's never going to change.
Just as I was about to shake my head, Alec did something unexpected.
He held my freezing hands but his eyes remained planted on the piano. "I'm paying back what you did for me last 2 days. I feel like you might need help," he spoke so gentle and I wouldn't have believed he can be like this three weeks ago. Or two days ago when I learned about his fear. He's a human after all. He gets hurt, forms some sort of defense from that hurt and continues on living.
Nagsimulang kumalat ang init ng balat niya sa buong katawan ko. After a few minutes, my body warmed up again. Nawala na rin ang kung anong parang nakabara sa lalamunan ko.
Still, I don't think I can handle singing yet.
"Sorry. Mag-baback out na lang pala talaga ako," I picked up my phone to text our driver. Alec touched my hand holding the phone. Ngayon dalawang kamay niya ay nakahawak na sa akin.
"Don't. Hindi ko alam kung ano man ang pinagdaraanan mo ngayon pero tingin ko dapat harapin mo ang mga problema mo. Sir Alvarez kept on praising your voice. It's such a shame to not hear it anymore."
It's not that easy. Umiling ako, "I can't."
Pinisil niya ang kamay kong walang hawak na cellphone, "subukan mo muna bago ka sumuko." I've been trying for years.
"Mahirap kasi talaga."
"Tignan mo, ayan ka na naman. Kahit isang nota lang--"
I wasn't able to bear it anymore. "Why do you care? Last week you were still this guy who made life harder for me.
Nung nakaraang two days lang, kung maka-bully ka sakin parang inis na inis ka pang nabuhay pa ako sa mundong ito. What the hell changed?" natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Napakagat ako ng labi ko para hindi tumulo ang luha ko. Nagiging unstable na naman ang emosyon ko. He remained silent for seconds which seemed to me like hours and then he finally unclasped his hands from mine.
Hinintay ko siyang magsabi ng kahit ano kahit ni isang 'Tsk' man lang pero wala akong narinig mula sa kaniya.
Nothing.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that. I was glad that your attitude towards me changed. It's just that I really can't do this right now."