She's dead... Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang lungkot sa boses ni Alec nang masabi nito ang tungkol sa ina. Gusto kong mag-sorry dahil parang nabuksan ko ang isang sugat mula sa past niya pero at the same time, sinasabi saakin ng pride ko, so? Ikaw din naman nawalan ng ama. Hindi ba't dapat na kasing accepting ka rin nila sa bagong babae sa buhay ng ama nila?
Napatigil ang pagkilos ko at tumitig ako sa puting blankong maskarang nasa harap ko, "it's hard for me to replace my father too, you know?"
Nakarinig ako ng pagbukas ng pinto kaya agad na isinuot ko ang maskara ko. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makita ang manager ko na may hawak na bulaklak.
"Akala ko naman kung sino na," binaba ko ang maskara ko at tumingin kay Ruth. Inadjust niya ang salamin niya gamit ang kaniyang kaliwang kamay at ibinigay sakin ang bulaklak.
"Here, from Mr. Lover boy again," tinignan ko ang card na kasama ang bulaklak at hindi nga siya nagkakamali. Ipinatong ko ang isang dosenang pulang rosas sa ibabaw ng aking vanity desk.
"The show will be starting 10 minutes from now," tumango ako at tumingin muli sa kaniya gamit ang salamin sa harap ko. Ruth is a very capable woman. In her young age of 20, she had already made a name for herself in the entertainment industry.
Halos lahat ng naging talent niya kilala sa entertainment world. Actually, I had heard that various artists begged for her to continue being their manager after they created a name for themselves but she still left. She told me she wasn't looking for fame. She wants to cultivate an artist's talent to it's highest potential. After she feels like they have reached that level, she leaves and looks for another diamond in the rough.
But for some reason, she didn't leave me.
When I was 14 and she was 24, with her guidance and both our connection, I was able to create a name for myself in the music world. I was probably one of the most famous artists that time, yet she still didn't leave. At my age of 15, my father died and even though I completely abandoned all things about music, she still stood by my side. She never broke her manager's contract with me.
And now, here I am, desperately trying to refit myself in music. Half the reason is because I didn't want to ruin her career with mine, and half the reason is for myself. Whether I like it or not, it doesn't matter if I admit to it or not, but music is my life. It's my form of expression, the way I de-stress myself. I will be attracted to music no matter what.
"Bakit?" ngayo'y nakakunot na ang noo niya. Napatagalan siguro ako sa pagtitig sa kaniya. Ngumiti ako at umiling.
"Wala, ang ganda mo kasi."
Hindi pa rin naaalis ang kunot sa noo niya nang tumango siya, "be ready, you're going to be on," pagkatapos ay umalis na siya sa aking dressing room.
Napangiti ako at bumulong, "come back to me, my voice." Oo alam kong nakakapangilabot 'yung sinabi ko pero ito ang power line ko e!
*
Cynder's POV
I made myself comfortable sitting on the front table of Gerry's Grill in which I can see the whole stage. Nag-order na ako ng makakain ko at tumingin sa paligid para sa mga magagandang dilag na nasa paligid. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anyone so I minded my own business. Of course I still winked at the girls who threw flirty eyes at me. I'm not gonna approach them though.
Maya-maya pa, kasabay ng pagdating ng pagkain ko ay ang paglabas ng dalawang babae mula sa masasabi mong staff room. Ang isa ay nasa mga late twenties na niya at umaapaw ng kagandahan at kaseksihan dala na siguro ng pagiging matured. Nakaalalay ito sa isa pang babaing petite na hindi ko mahinuha ang taon dahil sa maskarang nakabalot sa mukha niya. However, according to my ladies radar, I am quite sure the person inside the mask is a babe.
I sipped my sprite and stared intently at both of them as the taller woman guided the shorter one to sit on the chair and hold on to a mic. It's quite peculiar actually, but I'm used to it. I come here once in a while. It has been my habit to eat dinner here alone as I listen to the goose-bump worthy voice of the masked girl.
Somebody told me she's not actually blind. Her mask without any holes for her to see through is some kind of gimmick she uses. Lalo akong nahiwagaan sa kaniya.
I don't know why I took a liking to her singing. In fact, I was never a fan of music. But this lady, she has something in her voice...
Umalis na ang babaing nag-aalalay sa kaniya at sinimulan na niyang i-test ang mic, as what she always does. Her delicate fingers held the microphone and she started speaking
"Good evening everybody, gusto kong magpasalamat sa pagpunta ninyo lahat dito sa Gerry's Grill. With a little music I have prepared for all of you, enjoy your meals," syet. Tumatayo ang balahibo ko. She had this husky voice that resonated throughout the restaurant. If it's possible falling in love with someone through their voice, I'm betting this woman had been capturing tons of male hearts.
Besides the power of her voice, I can also feel like she's trembling a little bit. Tuwing pinaparinggan ko ang boses niya, I get a very somber feel from her. Even though she's wearing her mask, it didn't get in the way of her voice as it has white net covering her mouth.
Then they started playing the song. She spoke the first lyrics of it.
[As I was walking deep in sorrow thinking about the times we shared
A butterfly danced round me, a white cloud in the evening air
And I knew that your soul was finally home and free
But it felt like a blessing, a message from you to me]
She spoke every single word with so much sincerity that I felt like once again, I was under the spell of this woman's voice. I'm sure others inside this restaurant feel the same way. I felt a squeeze in my chest and I closed my eyes to feel more of her voice.
[Now you can fly, now you can soar] nagsimula siyang kumanta and I felt chills run down my spine as an overwhelming scene come before me. I see her, in the middle of a field, wearing pure whiteness as she spread both her arms around to feel the wind.
[So high above this world where troubles are no more
The time has come to say goodbye
And let your soul go to heaven on the wings of a butterfly] biglang nagbago ang imaheng nasa isip ko. It was my mom, lying on the hospital bed with white sheet above her head. Umiling ang doktor saamin at ganoong- ganoon na lang, nawala ang kulay ng buhay namin.
[Just a few days after they called us to a church to pray
Loved ones gathered round you to bless and send you on your way
And as I got up to speak, it suddenly caught my eye
White wings against the window, a beautiful butterfly...] I remember my mom's burial. Like us, dozens of people came over to our house to mourn the death of my mother. Nagpapunta pa kami ng pari para ipagdasal ang kaluluwa ng aming ina.
[Now you can fly, now you can soar
So high above this world where troubles are no more
This love of ours will never die
So let your soul go to heaven on the wings of a butterfly
One day we'll meet again in heaven and we'll fly like that butterfly] and then the instruments played beautifully, allowing myself to be free from her voice and think for myself. Pagkatapos ng kanta, dumilat na ako at naramdaman ko ang paggaan ng loob ko. Tumingin ako sa babae habang inaalalayan siya ng manager niyang makaalis ng stage. Her voice extracts the sorrow built up inside of a person and, by the end of her song, as her voice fades, the sadness of people listening to her sing gets drifted away with it.
Huminga ako ng malalim at nagsimula nang kumain. I should bring Alec with me the next time I come here.
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a/n: Unedited Unedited Unedited pakisabi na lang kung may mga promblema sa aking pagsusulat.