Jealousy... is that what it's called? The feeling of wanting something that you don't have but others do.... no. It's not jealously.. from what I remembered.. jealousy is when something is going to take something from under your nose.. like a relationship of some sort...
What I am.. is just red with envy... envious of her life.. her bright personality.. the way she can smile even if she failed while I'm here suffering with the slight mistake. The way she always looks to life in a positive life.. and the way.. her father hugged and loved her.. a way that I never felt from my father...
I never felt any love or compassion from my father.. and all my siblings did was look for my flaws.. highlighting it every chance they get to take me down.. they were bitches.. and I hated them.. I didn't want to be in this life.. but her...
