I used my meal time excursions as an excuse to begin looking for my killer. I didn't tell Alexandre what I was doing, and since I really didn't know where I had been killed, or any information on the woman who killed me, I just took bigger and bigger arcs around Alexandre's home, hoping to find something I recognized. But for all I knew, I could be in a completely different town from where I died, and who knew where my killer was now. I knew one thing for sure, I was no longer in the sleepy little town I had lived in. I really wanted to ask Alexander where I had been killed, but I was afraid it would make him suspicious. And what if he decided to use his control over me to prohibit me from searching for the place, or the woman who murdered me. However, I was running out of options. Surely the place had to be relatively near here for Alexandre to have found me by the smell of blood?
"What has you so lost in thought, child?" Alexandre's voice broke into my revere. I jumped, nearly dropping the book I was holding.
"Dang! Why're you always Dracula-sneaking up on me like that?" I complained bitterly, looking up to see Alexandre standing back-lit by the open doors of the library. Another great pair of denims and a comfy looking sweater today. Dang, did he own anything that that didn't look expensive?
"Why are you never paying attention to your surroundings?" Alexandre retorted. I opened my mouth to reply and then shut it with a snap.
"Good one. I think I'm rubbing off on you." I grumbled. Alexandre looked flustered by that, which gave me a chuckle.
"I was actually wondering... about the place I... died." I said with trepidation, and held my breath. Alexandre's face contorted from a look of sadness and concern to one of understanding. He stepped forward a few steps, but then paused within a few feet from me as if unsure of himself.
"Ah I see." He softly replied. I closed the book I was holding and set it down on the table beside me. He hadn't outright refused me, so it gave me the courage to continue.
"Could.. you tell me where it was?" I hesitantly asked.
"No." Alexandre stated firmly. I tensed and immediately opened my mouth to object, but he held up a hand.
"Visiting the site where you died can be very traumatic for some. I will not tell you where it is, but I will take you there, so I can be there to support you-or restrain you, if it is necessary." He continued. I stood up so quickly my head spun and grabbed him in a spontaneous hug. I felt him stiffen so I backed off quickly and clasped my arms behind my back.
"Now?" I eagerly requested.
"No, but soon." Alexandre said shortly. I groaned and he frowned. "This is why I call you child." He turned on a foot and swept from the library.
"Hey!" I yelled and chased after him as he left the room.
Two more days passed slowly, and I had begun pacing the house with pent up anxiety. After my fifth trip around the two staircases and in and out of the library the second day, Alexandre suddenly appeared in front of me.
"Enough!" He commanded, making my hair stand on end and causing my body to come to a complete stand-still. He was so close I nearly ran into him, and the scent of him surrounded me swiftly, flowers and books. His expression was frustrated, angry even, body tense.
"Ok, ok, jeez." I replied halfheartedly, watching him closely for signs of danger. As he had promised, he had never raised a hand against me, other than that first day of proving to me I was a vampire. However, the part of my brain that controlled fight or flight was now enhanced by the vampirism and it always screamed at me that he was dangerous when he was like this. My face must have betrayed my thoughts because Alexandre sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was the most human movement I had seen from him.
"I apologize for my temper. I still have not adjusted to sharing my life with another being, and hearing you thundering around back and forth like an elephant,"
"HEY!" I interjected.
"has begun to grate on my nerves, not that that is a valid excuse for my behavior." Alexandre sighed again and crossed his arms, relaxing his stance slightly. "Please understand that this is a big adjustment for us both, but if we work together, give it a little effort, I believe we can reach an understanding and accommodate each other to suit both our best interests. Now what is troubling you?" Alexandre finished. He was looking at me intently and it made me squirm. I hesitated, wondering again how much information I should give him.
"Well first-that was a mouthful." I said sarcastically, looking away, then more slowly "I feel like.. I'm wasting time." As the truthful statement fell from my mouth Alexandre looked bewildered.
"What is it you would like to do? You have a very long time to enjoy yourself now. Explore hobbies, educate yourself, travel if you want, perfect an art, try anything really. Why do you feel you are wasting time when you now have so much of it?" Alexandre asked incredulously. I hesitated again, thinking quickly on how to phrase it.
"I feel like...I can't really move forward with my new life...without closure from my past life." I responded quietly. Alexandre's face softened with a look of pity, and he reached for my arm, but retracted his hand half-way.
"This is very important to you? Seeing the place you died?" He asked. I nodded quickly, trying not to seem too eager.
"Then we will leave tomorrow afternoon. Be sure you are ready by evening." He stated firmly, then turned to leave.
"Oh, and for the sake of my sanity, STOP PACING!" He tossed over his shoulder and headed back down a hall that I assumed lead to his office. I had never intruded on his privacy to find out. I watched him walk away, making nearly no noise as he went, even on the marble flooring with his dress shoes. I shook my head.
"Thank you Alexandre! Hey where'd your name come from anyway?" I called, messing with him.
"That's a story for another time." He replied shortly, disappearing into the shadows of the hall.
"You have GOT to teach me how to do that." I said under my breath with awe. I heard a chuckle in reply.
Damn vampire hearing, I kept forgetting.