Chereads / Space Janitor Bop (J.P. Japhet) / Chapter 6 - Chapter 005 - Zelda X8 #06

Chapter 6 - Chapter 005 - Zelda X8 #06

["Oooh, Bondre... You're aged yet wise hand makes my Council Adjudicator tingle all over"]

["Hohoho, if you really like it my sweet little Marcus, you should join my political party. I'd be more

than happy to welcome you with my "Rod-of-Order" "]

"Kakaka" Bop laughed.

["Oh YES! Penetrate my chaotic anarchical society with your misogynistic and patriarchal oligarchy!"]

"Kukuku" Bop continued to laugh idiotically.

"What are you doing?" Beep obliviously asked.

"W-what?! N-nothing! Totally not reading gay po-" Bop stopped his words before he ruined his dignity in front of Beep any further.

"What's this? Lemme see. Rod... of "Order"? " Beep innocently asked as she swiftly snatched the book from Bop.

"H-Hey! How did you get- huh... nevermind..." Bop gave up as he realized Beep was inherently physically stronger and faster than him.

"What's this? The Sexy Scandals of The Hyper Galactic Council?... I thought you didn't want to read it cause you thought it was "gaey"..." Beep tried to pronounce the new word she had learned from Bop.

"I-I'm NOT Gay! I was merely laughing at how the two interacted! It's like a form of sarcastic comedy!" Bop defensively explained.

"Sar-castic? What's that?" Beep asked.

"Oh shit!

I forgot!

We left the cart floating! Beep, Let's go back!"

Bop quickly found a reason to change the topic.

*Shwinggg! Shwangggg!* The weird bright lights once again exploded as Beep and Bop were teleported toward's their seats back in the Zelda X8-06.

"Phew! None of those metal guys got here, yet" Beep was relieved that she still hadn't been captured by the evil "metal guys" she kept talking about.

"Alright... before we get captured by your pursuers let's blast off!" Bop nudged Beep.

But instead of floating off to space Beep just blankly stared at him.

"Y-you don't know how to drive... do you?"

"Ehehehe. no..." Beep twiddled her fingers.

"Don't you know how to ride it? Don't you work here?" Beep annoyed Bop with her flawless logic that he had no way to refute.

"Kuuuuuuu" Bop held his temper.

"I thought you knew! How did you unlock this cart from the Hypertrain before?!" Bop lambasted Beep.

"I-I just followed what Martha said! "Push the big red button!" that was all I could remember!" Beep was tearing up as she said.

"Don't worry... I guess it's time to show you the skills of a veteran clone!"

Bop suddenly made an unexpected cool expression as he took hold of the ship's reins.

[It's not bad being the older clone once in a while] Bop thought as he made a triumphant expression when he saw Beep's admiration.

"Don't worry! Watch me as I-Kuk!" Bop choked from his words when he saw the devastatingly ironic sight in front of him.

A console completely made up of his FAVORITE buttons were lined up on in front of him.

[God dammit! When I needed you, you weren't there?! Now you come back to me all at once?!] Bop sobbed as he had an imaginary lover's quarrel with the ship console in front of him.

[And why am I even doing this?!] Bop thought as another piece of irony hit him in the balls.

["Don't worry... I guess it's time to show you the skills of a veteran clone!"]...

[What do you mean Veteran clone?! I'm younger than you!?] Bop cursed in his mind as he shamelessly blamed the innocent Beep in front of him.

Beep looked at him with reproach as she said:

"Don't tell me you don't know what you're doing?" Then the final nail hit the coffin in Bop's pride as she gave him her signature sexy smirk.

*Smirk*

"Kuh-! You might have nice boobs but I won't yield to your seduction! I can still hit the buttons randomly!"

[Kuh-! You might be smiling now, but let's see if you can keep up that smug look after I show you my secret technique!]

Bop randomly pressed the buttons he loved so much as his speech and thoughts once again malfunctioned.

"W-what?!" Beep covered her chest when she heard Bop's honest and depraved thoughts.

"No-nothing!" Bop tried to cover up his mishap. [Why does this damn malfunction happen at the worst times!]

Luckily for Bop, the ship/train cart started moving as Beep completely forgot about their conversation in her innocent excitement.

[Kuk-! Maybe I AM really lucky with buttons gehehe] Bop thought as he continued to mash the buttons randomly.

"Liftoff! To the Otaku shop!" Beep happily shouted. Sadly for her, the excitement was shortlived as the train cart was Extremely Slow.

"W-whats this? Why's it so slow?" Beep cried.

"Well, what do you expect? It's a train cart... It doesn't have its own engine... And besides, people don't use spaceships to travel around..." Bop said in a rare moment of genuine knowledgeability.

"W-what?! I thought we could go space Pew Pew now, with the lasers and the gun thingies!" Beep made a sad devastated face as she pointed her hands around like guns.

"O young clone... The world isn't as magical as you think it is..." Bop spoke as if he was the first philosopher to question what comes after death and if there was even an afterlife.

"Only Explorers of and Adventurers use spaceships to access places where the Hypertrains don't pass through... normal people use trains to travel... as they're much faster" Bop continued in his highly wisened and knowledgeable faked voice.

"T-then what do we do? What if the metal men catch us?!" Beep was genuinely frightened as she asked bop the question.

"Let's dock for now..." Be said as he parked the Zelda X8 #6 in a hidden alley.

"Wait for a moment..." Bop said as he began hacking the Zelda X8 cart number 06.

"Woah! Where did you learn to do that?!"

"Hayyys... I read it from some stupid manual" Bop said as he remembered the tablet he read.

["A deep analysis on Hypertrains" they said. All I learned was hack wires and stuff! They didn't even teach the basics! What stupid manual doesn't teach you the basics!] Bop angrily huffed as he took out a disk from the #6's console completely ignoring the fact that he had basically obtained the knowledge to travel half the inhabited galaxy using Hypertrains, FOR FREE! With a research tablet The Hackmaster himself created taken from the Thesarius.

"Why'd you need that for?" Beep asked.

"The Hypertrain Carts might not have engines, but every cart at least has one A.I. Core!

We could put all kinds of things here like movies! games!

And even Gehehehe..." Bop giggled maniacally.

"Secret Knowledge of the Universe"

Sadly, Bop was referring to porn and not the actual Secret Knowledge of the Universe called The Thesarius that was currently dangling about in his pocket.

"Let's go!" Bop signaled to Beep like they were on a dangerous military excursion.

"..." The crowd around them just ignored the oblivious duo.

[Bah! Why's it so crowded and stinky up in here!] Bop thought while moving through the crowds as he held Beep's right hand.

"Ey wait your turn buddy!" A big muscular Gorgrog Alien blocked Bop's path with his thick Italian like mafioso accent.

"Eh? Who're you!" [I'm sorry sir just passing by]

"Kuk-!" Bop realized his malfunction occurred again as his subconscious thoughts that copied the Gorgrog's mafioso accent was heard by everyone who waited in line.

[Oh no... he's dead] Everyone watching thought.

"Oh a real wise guy, ei!" The Gorgrog got visibly pissed as he looked like he almost said Spaghetti with his thickened mafioso Italian accent.

"Well, Hamburger to you sir!" Bop knew he couldn't escape this one and so he decided to go full throttle into the sweet embrace of death as he taunted the Gorgrog Italian.

"What?! Hamburgers ain't even Italian!"

...Yes, in this world, Gorgrogs fully accept themselves as Italian Aliens...

"What's all this ruckus about?!" An Alien akin to a human appeared except he had eight eyes and eight limbs like that of a spider.

"O-oh sir Marcus... T-these thugs-" The Gorgrog stuttered.

The Arachii, the Alien Spider race of Marcus was the natural predator of the Gorgrogs before they all became civilized.

And to this day many Gorgrog children still fear the Archii because of the children's horror stories they hear from their parents.

Despite the Archii being group hunters and one little Archii stood no chance against a strong Gorgrog, the Gorgrog was still afraid since Sir Marcus was his boss.

But even worse for the Gorgrog was that Bop saw this opportunity as he buttered up to the Arachii, Marcus.

"Ahh, you must be sir... hmm Marcos! Yes! Sir Marcos! I'm a fan!" Since Bop saw many people gather around Marcus, he immediately came to the conclusion that this "Marcos" fellow was someone famous.

"O-oh I see, you came here to vote for me! All supporters of mine are welcome here!" Marcus magnanimously gestured to Bop.

'Marcos' forgave the mispronunciation of his name as he saw Bop as a potential voter in his campaign to become Hyper Galactic City #53's Hyper Galactic Mayor.

"Vote?" Bop asked.

"Why yes, you see, a position in the Hyper Galactic Council is simply not enough power for m- I mean influence! Yes, Influence! To further my political agendas!

I need to at least be Galactic Mayor of this place to set in motion the bills I made for my own- I mean the Citizen's benefit!"

"Yeah!!!" The people around them cheered for Marcus as he was a very "Honest" and "Trustworthy" politician...

Bop looked at the people around him as he thought [And I thought I was stupid...]

"Wait... You're Marcus?! From the Hyper Galactic Council??? The Marcos???" Bop asked.

"Kukuku, Of course! Who else is it other than ME?!" Marcus gestured as the crowd cheered.

"Kukuku... How's Bondre's Rod-of-Order?" Bop made an evil smile.

"Ka-kuk!" Marcus choked when he heard Bop's oddly specific words...