Bai Yu Yan didn't know how long she stayed awake in the darkness. The rain had already stopped and the darkness had started to fade away with the imminent dawn.
The details of the story still danced in her brain until she heard the clicking of the door which slowly swung open from outside. Without making a single noise, she saw Lu Tong Xiao come inside with light steps and close the door behind him. She didn't think that he would come to her room, especially after what happened earlier. Why has he still not slept, she thought.
Bai Yu Yan saw that he looked tired and haggard. Before his eyes trailed towards the bed, she hurriedly lied down on the bed with her back facing him.
Lu Tong Xiao didn't need his eyes to be adjusted in the darkness to trace her small sleeping form which softened his eyes. At first, he hadn't wanted to come to the Autumn Courtyard after finishing his work. He wanted nothing more than to go to his bed and sleep the exhaustion away but it was as if his legs had a mind of its own and dragged him here without his consciousness.
After removing his coat and dropping it on the couch, he silently walked towards the bed where Bai Yu Yan was sleeping facing the wall. Lowering his head, his lips traced her smooth cheek and left a gentle peck. He then looked at her for a moment under the darkness and stepped back before entering the bathroom to take a bath.
When Bai Yu Yan heard the sound of the bathroom door closing, she opened her eyes and silently released her breath. The sensation of lips on her cheek was still there which she touched with her finger, her heart a chaotic mess.
She was not blind to not see how he treated her. His almost tender care for her as if she was a fragile doll made of brittle glass made her heart lean towards his warmth.
Bai Yu Yan clutched the pillow under her head and closed her eyes. It was better to wake up now than suffer later, she thought.
Amidst the thoughts swirling in her mind, she felt the fresh smell of Lu Tong Xiao right behind her. With her back still facing him, she tightly squeezed her eyes shut as she felt him gently pull her towards himself.
Her head now rested above his sturdy arm. His other hand coiled around her waist and secured her body close against his.
After a long silence when she thought he had fallen asleep, she heard his slightly raspy voice behind her ear.
"Xiao Yan, don't pull away from me. Think about me...care for me, okay?"
Startled, Bai Yu Yan was taken aback by his words. It sounded almost like a heartfelt request which unwillingly tugged at her heartstrings. She was afraid that he discovered she was still awake and was talking to her but noticed that his breathing had turned even. He was already asleep.
Was he talking in his sleep?
She thought for a long while before gradually falling asleep in his warm embrace.
The next day when Bai Yu Yan woke up, the space beside her was already cold. It was late in the morning so she wondered why Xiao Fan didn't wake her up but then remembered what she had done yesterday. Xiao Fan was probably worried that she got sick so she let her sleep through the morning.
Running a hand through her messy hair, she raised her hand to press on her aching head and crawled out of the bed.
"Miss, you are awake! How do you feel now? Yesterday you didn't call me at night, did you sleep well?" asked Xiao Fan after seeing Bai Yu Yan come down her bed. She put aside the embroidery in her hand and helped Bai Yu Yan to a nearby couch.
"I am okay now. Much better after sleeping," replied Bai Yu Yan groggily and started washing up with the warm water brought by her handmaid.
Xiao Fan touched Bai Yu Yan's forehead with her hand and feeling the normal temperature, she removed her hand with relief. "Let me bring you breakfast. I had asked the kitchen to prepare some light dishes which are easy to digest" saying, she ordered another maid to lay down the table and left to bring breakfast.
Upon hearing that she would have to eat light dishes, Bai Yu Yan knitted her brows but did not complain. She knew that Xiao Fan would not let her eat spicy dishes after what she had done yesterday.
Thinking about how she had vomited in front of the servants, Bai Yu Yan touched her nose in embarrassment. She must have looked pathetically disgusting, she mused in self-consciousness.
Soon Xiao Fan came in with chicken porridge and some cold side dishes that didn't look unappetizing. Bai Yu Yan sat and quietly drank the porridge from the bowl while her maid served the food.
"I don't see Fan Lu, where is she?" asked Bai Yu Yan when she didn't see the cute young maid who mostly attended to her along with Xiao Fan.
"Gui Momo said that she was not feeling well so she didn't come to work this morning," grumbled Xiao Fan. The maid didn't come to work when Xiao Fan was busy taking care of sick Bai Yu Yan and had lots of chores to do in the courtyard.
Now she thought about it, Fan Lu actually didn't work hard like other servants but it always appeared like she worked most diligently among all the servants. Xiao Fan did not know if it was a coincidence but she had observed that Gui momo always gave Fan Lu easy jobs that did not require much time and effort.
Xiao Fan shook her head to dispel the thought which she believed developed from her subtle dislike towards Fan Lu.
"Miss, did you hear that His Excellency is departing to Jin this afternoon?" asked Xiao Fan cautiously, remembering the gossip from the servants. Yesterday she had felt the heavy tension between Lu Tong Xiao and Bai Yu Yan which made her think they had a fight. She didn't want to bring it up but couldn't hold back knowing that His Excellency would be leaving to the south today.
When she heard that, the spoon that Bai Yu Yan was drinking porridge with stopped midair for a brief moment before she calmly sipped on the content. She had purposely chosen not to think about the matter since she woke up this morning before Xiao Fan brought it up.
Finishing the porridge in the bowl, Bai Yu Yan lightly dabbed her lips with the wet towel handed by Xiao Fan and said, "Umm. I know. His Excellency informed me about it yesterday."
Xiao Fan raised her head to peek at her Miss's expression but Bai Yu Yan didn't seem bothered by the news. She had her usual calm expression like still water.
"Help me get ready. We have to leave for the shop. It's late already," instructed Bai Yu Yan sitting in front of the dressing table. The copper mirror in front of her reflected her tired face with dark circle under the eyes.
"Miss, we're going to the shop today as well?" Xiao Fan was surprised.
"Why? What is so special today?"
"You are still not well, Miss. You should rest today. Manager Gao can handle the matters of the shop for a day," insisted Xiao Fan. Moreover, His Excellency was leaving today so she thought the couple would spend some time together before seeing him off.
Why did it feel like her Miss was forcing herself? Even the lighthearted casual smile she always gave seemed forced today.
"Xiao Fan, if one is serious about earning money, one cannot close their business for every small matter. Besides, I am already feeling much better so don't worry," assured Bai Yu Yan while allowing the maid to loosely braid her long hair. She had chosen a white dress with red floral patterns on the skirt which made her look fresh and lively. Finishing with some light makeup to hide the tiredness on her face, she was ready for the day.