*Zachary*
"Maeve! I need you!" she stopped. I can hear her breathing. "What do you want me to do? I didn't say anything about this to your mom or dad because they will truly get mad at me. My grandmother is dying, and I need a wife. A decent one—" she turned around. "Well, I like it. Because you are yourself."
"I'm not." Why does she sound so lonely? "Why won't you ask someone else?" I feel guilty right now. Nobody ever made me feel guilty.
"I want you. Isn't that simple?"
"You only want me to be your wife, nothing else. Right?" maybe she's also thinking about platonic.
"Yes. In that way, you could still enjoy your life, do what you want. You could use what I have and the same way with me."
"I don't think so. I plan to be unmarried until I die." She walked off.
Travis kept laughing as I drove my rented motorbike. He's just at my back as I told him exactly what happened. We ended up at our hotel bar. I only drank a few and then recall what she said. Men are such a dick. They are unfaithful. They are very much pain in the ass. They never stick to one. They are jerks. I feel like it was the last song syndrome.
"I'm going back to Manila tomorrow. I got lots of appointments. Just handle her yourself."
I call her a few times and she answered annoyed.
"How about we will have a date tomorrow? I could start on courting, right?"
"Fuck off." It was a crisp word and she hung up. I texted her few messages.
You won't resist someone like me, babe.
Have a wonderful dream and promise to be on your dreams as well. :-*
She didn't send anything at all. I smiled and very much happy about it.
*Maeve*
At first, it felt like a dream. At first, it felt like someone, a prince charming like--no. A handsome, dangerous like that come to me. On the beach, tears fall from my eyes. At the beach, I suddenly feel hope, but its disappointment. It makes me hurt me like a sledgehammer. He like me, because I was someone like who could act as a wife.
I cry silently in the bathroom as I take a shower. Why? Why would men do that to me? Am I not special? Am I not beautiful? Am I to be sold only and for men's pleasure?
I might be too emotional, but I live my life getting killed every day, yet, every day that I woke up, I'm still alive, hoping that I did already. My heart is dying and it's killing me emotionally. I just wished that I was slapped and spank hard until I am bleeding than being tortured emotionally. I am killing myself, yet I seemed not to die.
This is making me so pathetic. I shouldn't be emotional and like a cry baby. Damn!
His call and text messages make me more in pain. I had been in a few flatteries in text messages and I thought of things that we might be in a relationship somehow. But boys wanted something better, and they choose. But women can only choose yet they can never court, in a reason of getting rejected and looking all so stupid in everyone.
I couldn't even sleep at that moment. I feel gloomy and every time I thought of him, it makes me think a lot of things. Marrying him? Would it be good or bad? Of course, bad. He will never love someone like me. No one will. Well at first, they might be, but surely, they will find someone else.
I don't even know if my father was one of them. It breaks me into pieces that my mother, my patience, a loyal mother who took care of us and even do his duties on paying for our things and giving us money just to get us to school.
When I get to the school, I smiled of course and waited and make a service to the students and outside researchers. I don't have real things to do. When I go out almost lunchtime, though I don't feel like eating because of depression.
I was about to walk toward the pedestrian lane when the traffic enforcer made a stop sign but I got startled when someone embraced me from behind. The perfume that I've been smelling, a pear-like scent.
"Hey there darling." I immediately push him away though he's very tall and bulky. Near six feet? I don't know but he's handsome and that smile of him was suave. Maybe I could use him like they use women, right? He hands up and caressed my hair that is blowing by the wind.
"Are you stalking me?" I unplug my earphones and sigh.
"No. I'm just picking you up. Haven't you received my message?" I didn't check my phone.
"I don't read messages when it wasn't important."
"Fair enough. So, I'm hungry. And I assume you haven't eaten—"
"I'm not hungry." No man has ever asked me to have a date. Well, fuck it Maeve! It's not a fucking date.
"Well—"
"I don't like you," I said it straight forward making him pouted so adorably. Why does a big man like him pout like that? "You look like a mouse, stop pouting." He frowned at me.
"A mouse!" he laughed. "Mouse? Really, what makes you thought of that? Do I look like a mouse to you?" he looked down at me. Damn, I hate it when people are like that. Well, it's my problem, not theirs.
"What? The little mouse is adorable. Have you seen one?" he thought for a while.
"They are hideous creatures!" I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
"They are cute, especially when they are roaming at night and stop and stood and will look at you?"
"Does that happen to you?"
"Well, yes, when I was at my cousin's house." He laughed. I rolled my eyes and few people are looking at us or glancing at us. "Look, Zachary, I have to go."
"Do you want to be a writer?" I exhaled.
"I'm a writer."
"With an unpublished—"
"Yes. It's personal and just fuck off from it."
"How're your exams?" why is he asking about exams now?
"My exam was yesterday, and the continuation will be next week. Why ask?"
"I'm worried that you might have a headache."
"Worried?" there's that pang of pain again. "Stop doing this crazy thing of yours."
I walk on the pedestrian lane as soon as there's another group of people walking there. He followed me and hold me grabbing me somewhere.
"You know, I only wanted my grandma to be happy, do you have a grandma?"
"I did." I hate to think of it. I don't want to think of how she dies. It's killing me every time and it makes me anxious. "I never make anyone happy, that's why."
"How about we went on hiking today?" he immediately changed the subject. I had thought of it. Hiking was good, and I never seemed to relax. Maybe I could use him. He's handsome, he smells very good. He's a hunk and I can see that he's funny.
But is he a nice man? Is he a lovable man? Should I find out or should I just pretend that these whole things are just crazy dreams?