In the deepest darkest depths devoid of sanity, a single piercing cry rang forth like the roar of some great beast from the bowels of the town hall's basement — which is exactly what it was. It was the sound of a siren call during an emergency, the bell ringing at the end of classes, the whistle at the beginning of a basketball match — or in this case, the shrill voice of Leo's assistant as she called for roll.
"Programming?" wailed the redheaded woman with the weepy eyes and ghastly complexion.
The white-furred werewolf at one end of the rectangular obsidian table raised a clawed hand. "Thor McCloud of the clan McCloud, Lead Programmer, present and accounted for."
The Werewolf offered the banshee an extra-wide grin that was all teeth which she returned with the soft batting of wet eyelashes and a playful smile on her lips.
"Quality Control?" the banshee called next after she'd finished flirting with the werewolf.
No one answered, and all heads turned to the tan-skinned figure to the right of McCloud, a being so tall that they had to renovate the basement's ceiling and make it much higher just to accommodate him.
"Oh, are you all looking at me?" he asked as he pointed toward himself. "You're all looking at me, right? I just want to make sure as I only have one eye and I sometimes have a problem with noticing other people staring at me—"
"—Yes, we're all looking at you, Bront son of Brontes," the banshee interrupted in a mournful wail that quickly transitioned into a murderous shriek, "So please state that you are present, you man-child of a cyclops!"
"Oh, yeah, um, Bront, the Quality Control lead here," the one-eyed giant answered.
"Do we really have to do this every time we meet?" the creature to the right of Bront son of Brontes — a gray-skinned stick of a man with dark, curly hair, a long nose, and a mouth filled rows of rotting teeth — raised an emaciated hand up, "Just so we're clear, every second wasted in this creepy basement is an opportunity lost for acquiring more players and soul stones."
"O~~okay, I guess you can assume the soulless, life-sucking ghoul that is our Head of Monetization is present, Shannon," McCloud addressed the banshee right after he'd rolled his eyes at the other man.
"Just so you know, I don't take offense, McCloud," the man countered, pointing a finger at himself while he spoke. "I'm Dani the Ghoulie… so your racial slur does not offend me, you foul-smelling, sh*t stain."
"That was not very nice language, Dani," said a voice so sweet one might have mistaken them as a motherly figure, but the female who buried the edge of her ax onto the obsidian table a moment later was anything but motherly. "So cut it out with that explicit language or I'll chop your head off!"
"Draugr Warrior Lagertha, present," Shannon spoke for her.
"It is Community Manager Lagertha now, Shannon, and you best remember that," Lagertha threatened.
"The biggest warmonger in this group is the Community Manager, how I would love to write a backstory for how this happened," A gray-haired, stately woman in dark robes commented from the opposite side of the table from Lagertha. "And yes, Shannon dear, Hag of Tales, Agatha Christoff, present and accounted for."
"I guess we're all here," Leo assumed. He fidgeted in his seat at the head of the table before saying, "Let's begin this emergency meeting…"
"The Creative Director has called this meeting to order," Shannon added.
"Wait, wait," Morgana interrupted, raising a hand to get everyone's attention.
"The Executive Producer has paused the meeting," Shannon explained.
"Shannon, you can cut it with the commentary, seriously," Leo sighed. "What is it, Morgana?"
"We're missing Accounting," Morgana explained.
This statement led to several boos from the gathering.
"Apologies, madam, but no one wants Accounting here," McCloud explained. "She's even more of a life-sucker than Marketing…"
"Yeah, even I shrivel up when Accounting's around, and I'm a ghoul so that's saying something," Dani chuckled.
"Luckily — sadly, sadly is what I meant to say, Accounting isn't here," Leo gave Morgana an apologetic smile, "So let's just move on and get right down to business… all in favor?"
All but Morgana's hand was raised.
"The ayes have it," Shannon stated the obvious, "Emergency meeting resumes. Please begin, Leo."
Leo stood from his rather uncomfortable chair made of bones and addressed his team leaders.
"So, as you all know, we have yet to discuss the job class situation," Leo began.
A hand immediately went up into the air, and as it belonged to the cyclops, Bront, his hand smashed into the ceiling and caused debris to fall onto the table, startling everyone momentarily.
"Oh, sorry," Bront said, "But with all the other improvements on Morgana's list, should we really be making this issue the priority… I mean, aren't all the players brand new? It would be impossible for evolution to have taken place already."
Everyone just looked at Bront and gave him that stare one gets when one is being clueless.
"Um, why are you all looking at me like that?" he asked as he visibly shrank from their gazes.
"You didn't read the memo I sent everyone, did you?" McCloud tapped sharp claws onto the obsidian table. "The one about a player evolving…"
"Um, you're f*cking kidding me, right?" Bront asked, his one sea-blue-eye widening in surprise. "A player actually evolved on the second day of BETA? My best guys took two weeks to do that during the dev phase!"
"Language!" Lagertha scolded.
"Actually, Bront, our very own player number one did it on her first day," McCloud explained.
Bront slammed a huge hand onto the table, causing it to shudder. "Um, how the f*ck did she do that?"
"She slew a ridiculous amount of wraiths in one day and absorbed all their essence without resting or considering the consequences of overdosing on wraith essence." Morgana leaned back on her chair and smiled as if she was remembering a fond memory. "It was exhilarating to witness."
"Wait… so if you kill the same shadow beast over and over and only consume their essence then you evolve faster?" Dani confirmed with an arched eyebrow. "We could sell this tip to players as part of a premium tips-and-tricks package and make a killing."
"And... you managed to turn an epic moment into another soul-sucking monetizing opportunity," McCloud growled. "What's next, Dani, loot crates?"
"Loot crates are an effective means of monetization, McCloud… You creative guys are always harping on about the art but suits like me," at the mention of suits, Dani brushed the lapel of his extremely frayed black suit that he'd probably stolen from someone's dead corpse, "are the reason you get to keep doing what you're doing, just to be clear."
"Well, if we didn't develop anything you would have nothing to sell!" McCloud fired back.
"Can we please," Leo interrupted by slamming his fist down on the obsidian, "table the discussion on whose department is more important on another day? Pretty soon, Ath3na will be on her way to town hall expecting the Game Master to bestow on her a job class."
"Um, but we don't have any job classes planned out," Bront argued.
"I know that," Leo sighed right before raising his hands toward the group, "which is why we're all gathered here."
"Well, you better think of one fast or we're going to receive our first player complaint," Lagertha chided Leo, "And that might just piss me off enough to want to cut the complainant's head off."
"No chopping heads, Lagertha," Leo sighed again. "I told you already, your job is to appease the players not kill them."
"Well, we left Ath3na at Masamune's workshop so we have a bit of time before she arrives to discuss our options," Morgana explained in a very business manner kind of way. "So does anyone have any suggestions?"
A pale hand was raised into the air. It belonged to the hag, Agatha, who asked a question, "What exactly is the importance of these job classes? Is it the same as my title of Lead Scenario Writer?"
Although there were quite a few clueless looks appearing on the faces of the team leads, Leo was happy to see that at least McCloud and Bront seemed like they understood the significance of jobs in a role-playing game.
"Um, job classes are what we use to differentiate the abilities, aptitudes, behavior, and even possible backgrounds for the players' characters," Bront explained.
"Job classes also offer players a path of progression that makes it easier for them to grow," McCloud added. "Sort of like Dani here whose job title has allowed him to progress into a soulless, creativity-deprived sellout."
In response, Dani raised the middle-finger at McCloud. This earned him a hard slap on the hand by Lagertha who warned him against using non-verbal abusive language to express himself.
"Typically," Leo continued the conversation before anyone else got distracted, "Job classes follow specific playstyle archetypes such as a warrior, hunter, and mage to differentiate whether you play as a front-liner, middle-ranger, or long-ranger."
"Why can't we use these terms then?" Agatha pressed.
"Because we didn't code any kind of linear progression path or set playstyle into the SRS," McCloud explained.
"And whose brilliant idea was that?" Dani raised an eyebrow at McCloud. "Let me guess, one of you genius creatives thought it was a good idea to give players free rein with regard to evolution?"
Both McCloud and Bront turned their collective gazes on Leo, prompting him to get defensive with his choice. Luckily, Dani didn't attack him for it. In fact, Dani had an evil grin plastered on his face that suggested he was into Leo's idea.
"Giving players the chance to awaken and evolve without set rules is pretty dope," Dani mused out loud. "I can definitely sell that — provided you guys figure out how to objectify players without seeming to cast them into conventional roles."
"About that," Agatha began, "Why not create a different title for each player who evolves?"
"Given the number of players we're estimated to receive over the next few weeks," McCloud raised clawed fingers to help him do his math, "that would be in the tens of thousands of job classes… it would be too difficult to track, won't it?"
"Would it?" Morgana sent the question back to him. "I can certainly track tens of thousands of soul contracts without missing a single one, and as the SRS is built on my power, shouldn't it have similar functions?"
"Um, that still sounds a little too random," Bront argued. "I like a bit of uniformity in the games I play, like showing off how many different ways two players can play a warrior."
"It breeds competition," Shannon added approvingly.
"Um, yeah, and that's not a bad thing," Bront finished.
Leo sat back down and placed both arms on the table just before he linked his fingers together. "Maybe… maybe we can do both."
All eyes turned to him now.
"What if we give each player who evolves their own job title, but we also subtly encourage them to stick to the path of progression they're already on by emphasizing how dangerous it could be to absorb too many different types of essences," Leo explained.
"Abominations," Morgana exhaled the word almost as if she dreaded it. "You want to use the possibility of becoming an abomination as a threat to keep player progression on a linear path?"
"Manipulation through storytelling," Agatha nodded her head thoughtfully. "It could work."
"Um, that still doesn't solve the randomness factor," Bront argued.
Leo raised a finger up. "We'll leak the information of evolved players to everyone else."
"And players like this Ath3na who has tons of charisma will likely want to be copied by her fans," McCloud added as he'd understood Leo's line of thinking. "This could work."
"The players might even eat it up if we add in quests for discovering new job classes," Dani added, raising his hands up in mimicry of a curtain opening. "Premium quests to attain secret job classes!"
"And… you just tainted our ideas again with your evil, black heart," McCloud growled.
"Boom," Leo yelled before Dani could reply to McCloud's comment, "I like where this brainstorming is taking us, guys… Now, let's think of how we can streamline this before I have to face Ath3na, yeah?"
"Um, Leo," Shannon's urgent tone caught everyone's attention. "We might be too late..."
She raised the object in her hands and showed it to them. It was a mirror, but unlike most mirrors that only showed off someone's reflection, this mirror showed off the reflections of other mirrors connected to it.
The scene on the mirror's surface showed a view of town hall's front-yard where a pretty white-haired woman was knocking on the front door.
"Nope, we're definitely too late," Shannon stated the obvious once again. "Player number one is already here."