Chereads / Jazzys Memo / Chapter 12 - You Wouldn't Understand Would You?

Chapter 12 - You Wouldn't Understand Would You?

Can't breathe, the tears swell in my eyes. I've, tried but I'm dying from inside. I don't know what to do anymore, something is bothering me.

I have a million reason, of how hard it is for me but I can't say neither of them. I'm suffering, I just want to cry the silent tears of mine that are slowly pooring inside now it's spreading in my pores.

Someday I pray I'll be happy, my suffering no longer I can bare. I know now I have to put up with this tear, I fear this will never end. My chest feels heavy, something is squeezing my heart. I feel like I'm dying, yet some how I know I'm alive.

From all the pain I suffer from my body, why do I bare it all alone? I'm not happy, but I know I should not rely on anyone else because who is there to rely on.

No one understood me, mother tells me take pills. Mother tells me go to the hospital, but nothing will work!

My sister thinks I have no rights in this world, she knows my pain my suffering. Yet she doesn't really know how I feel, she mocks me from past memories. She knows, and hurts me by  pooring salt over thy wound knowing I can not do such a thing as for screaming for help.

Terror, I'm terrified of what's to come next. Illusions, I see illumination of something even though I'm still awake. I know it must have to be real, why else can someone else see what I have?

No, I don't understand what's going on with me. I'm trying, I really am. I feel like I'm crying, yet if I do I'm dying. Lying to myself, everything will be okay but it's not.

Calm down, they all say to me. How can I, when I'm going insain? Who are they to question me?

Hiding, I have to hide it. Hide what I'm feeling, so I don't lose it trying. I truly am trying, no one appreciates me. I'm falling, drowning in sorrow still morrowing over my own self.