I looked at Mo'lin in frustration, I did not understand the meaning of his words. I hopped over to Shifu and continued to pull at his sleeves, asking him to treat Shifu and maintain his pulse.
Mo'lin staggered, wiped his tears, and then said to me, "Miao Miao, you've got a lot of heavy injuries on you, let me fix up your leg first."
"Miao Miao does not matter, it doesn't hurt at all," I waved my hands to refuse his offer, and pointed to Bi Qingshen Jun and said, "First save Shifu, his injuries are worst than mine."
Mo'lin reached his arms forward and heavily placed them on my shoulders, he solemnly said, "Your Shifu won't wake up."
"Why won't he wake up?" I still did not understand, I just felt the atmosphere around us becoming strange, like it was full of grief.
Mo'lin took a deep breath, he turned his head away from me, and he gently said, "He's dead."
Dead? What is dead? I stood there listening to that word, but for a long time, it still did not digest.
Then is it Bi Qingshen Jun who is dead? Shifu dead? How is that possible? Shifu is the number one under the heavens! It must be Mo'lin who is lying then! That liar loves to trick Miao Miao the most!
So, I angrily pushed him, and exclaimed, "You rotten bastard, don't curse my Shifu to death or Miao Miao will hit you!"
"I'm sorry….." Mo'lin feebly fell to the ground, his voice began to sob as if he was choking on a fish bone. Silence was all around us. I raised my head up, and was surprised to find that everyone had gathered around us. Their eyes were full of pity.
Why would Miao Miao need the pity of others?
This kind of overwhelming atmosphere made me afraid, therefore I ran over to Mo'lin and propped him back up, patted him on the back, and pleaded, "Immortal Mo'lin, genius doctor Mo'lin, Mo'lin Gege, Miao Miao is wrong, so don't be angry, please help me save Shifu."
"I'm sorry….." Mo'lin's head was lowered.
"Ok, ok. Miao Miao will let you touch her cute little paw pads for as long as you want!" I quickly promised, not letting go of his sleeve.
"Miss Miao Miao, don't make it difficult for Immortal Mo'lin….." Xiao Tian who had been standing next to us the entire time, spoke up, "You're Shifu is already dead, please restrain your grief and accept this fact."
"What is grief? What fact? My Shifu isn't dead! He didn't die!" I angrily turned my head to that stupid dog and roared, "Do not talk nonsense! Watch what you say or I'll bite you!"
These hateful remarks, everyone around me kept telling me to accept this fact, they all say Bi Qingshen Jun is dead and that I should stop acting so stubborn. They say to hurry and notify the people of Xuan Qing Palace to prepare the funeral.
I don't want to…..I don't want to…..Why do you guys look at me with those kinds of eyes? Why do you say Shifu is dead?
I fearfully rushed next to Bi Qingshen Jun's side, snuggled up against his cold body, and helplessly stared at those beings that gave me ridicule and pity.
What is a cat's self-esteem? What is a cat's pride? These have long been thrown away from my heart, leaving only a deep fear.
"I beg you guys…..hurry and save Shifu…..I beg you guys….." I repeated this over and over again.
However, no one was willing to help me…..
It was getting dark, but Shifu's body gradually became stiff. His eyes still did not open. All the debris has already been moved away by the golden pagoda. At the horizon of the red sunset appeared the figure of the white crow, as well Xiaolin, Jin Wen and the rest of them that came riding the Kirin Beast. When they saw the appearance of Bi Qingshen Jun, they all became like Mo'lin, teary eyed and silent.
The cold breeze shook the still tree branches. The precocious cicadas occasionally whistled a few times. And then all would become silent again, surrounded by the lonely dust.
"Xiaolin, aren't you usually the one with a method to everything? Save Shifu, Miao Miao won't ever bother you again, and won't ever break stuff, so please…..think of a way….." I looked at Xiaolin with prayers, his expression appearing somewhat obscure.
Xiaolin turned his head and didn't look at me.
"Jin Wen, don't you always say you can do everything? Please, I beg of you, save Shifu. Miao Miao won't steal food anymore. I promise to not touch your flowers. I swear that I will keep my promises this time…..I definitely won't lie!" I turned around and held Jin Wen's hands.
Jin Wen let out a 'wah' and then started crying, she rushed into Mo'lin's arms and didn't look back.
I quickly turned around and saw Wawa, so I hastily grabbed her hands and asked, "Wawa, you never tell lies, can you tell me, can Shifu be saved? He didn't die, he didn't!"
Wawa lowered her head and tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Yin Zi…..you care about me the most…..so please, I beg you, can't you help me? Just this time…..Miao Miao will listen to you and be obedient in the future, I won't cause any trouble for you….." I looked at the white crow, my throat was sore, so sore I could no longer say anymore. Everything in front of me became increasingly blurry, I couldn't see Yin Zi's face, as if my eyes were covered in a veil of water.
He took a handkerchief from his arms, gave it me, and said softly, "Miao Miao, don't cry….."
I stretched my hands out to my face, rubbed my eyes, and was surprised to see a most hand. I was shocked to find that countless more droplets began flowing out of my eyes, unable to stop.
Are these tears? Why would I cry the tears of humans? Aren't cats born without tears?
I lowered my head, my tears continued to fall, spilling onto the ground.
I originally had tears but just did not know of it, and I've long since obtained a human's heart without even knowing.
Can't laugh, can't scream, can't speak, my voice instantly disappeared from my throat. I raised my head up again, my tears flowing down into my chapped lips and tongue. This taste is bitter, so very bitter.
In my heart, the final barrier had finally cracked, my emotions emerging as if seedlings were suddenly uprooted.
I never thought about what feelings were, until it was too late to start thinking about them.
I never knew what love was. Until it was already too late to realize it.
I only know that, Bi Qingshen Jun doesn't want me anymore, he's walking alone, just like that dream where the cold iron doors of the subway closed off my warmth and happiness, leaving me all by myself with fear.
Why?
Didn't you say we would be together?
Didn't you say after getting married, we would go to play in the mortal realm?
Didn't you say we would raise our children up together?
Didn't you promise you would never abandon me?
Didn't you say…..I love you?
The sky was finally shrouded by a black curtain, the full moon hidden by the clouds. I sat on the ground holding lifeless and cold Bi Qingshen Jun, crying. Crying until my voice has become hoarse, as if I'm letting all 300 plus years of tears out at once, venting out all the pent-up emotions.
I didn't know from when, but Xiaolin hesitantly came up to me. He squat down, and said, "Miao Miao, don't cry anymore, Master Shen Jun will soon pass on."
I shook my head, and tightly grasped onto Shen Jun's body. As if this was the last bundle of grass, if I just let go, he would be released into the river of oblivion.
"Miao Miao, be good, and let him go." Yin Zi approached me and advised. I shook my head and folded my ears, not paying attention or listened to anyone.
Until the moonlight shone on Bi Qingshen Jun, his body radiated a silver blue light. Under this moonlight, his body turned back into that of a snake, undergoing rapid petrification, and turning to ash. No matter how I grab, I was not able to catch it, leaving me with only his empty armor.
Floating in the wind, the ash traveled far into the distance to somewhere unknown.
"No! Shifu, don't leave!" I cried and screamed, trying to capture the airborne particles. To keep the remaining traces of him. But to no avail…..
Miao Miao's one and only Shifu is gone. No husband, no happiness, no nothing.
Just floating with the wind, an endless stream of tears and unforgettable memories.
In the future, who would give me such tenderness to snuggle against?
In the future, who would hold my hands and teach me to write?
In the future, who would help achieve all my dreams for me?
In the future, who would give me those gentle kisses on the lips?
In the future, who would make bad tasting soup for me?
In the future, who can bring me out of loneliness?
You used your life to tell me your love, but what will I use to tell you, that I love you?
The sun and moon rose and fell, I don't how many times the white sky will turn into the dark night nor do I know how many orbits the stars and moons make. Lying down on the remnants of Bi Qingshen Jun's place. My stomach doesn't feel hungry. My wounds don't feel any pain, and my skin doesn't feel any warmth.
I didn't eat, drink, sleep, or speak. I just silently shed my tears. Xiaolin, Mo'lin, Jian Nan, Luo Luo, Blue Feather Goddess, Xiao Zi, Shao Zhong, Han Jing…..everyone that I've made friends with, demons or celestial beings, all came to see me, even the heavily injured Wawa, the quarreling Luo Sha and Bull Devil, and Ao Yun of the East Sea. They constantly spoke to me, but not a single word went into my ears.
"Miao Miao, stop crying, if you continue on like this, your eyes will go blind." Yin Zi fiercely shouted inside my ears.
Out of reflex, my hands severely hit Yin Zi, sending him flying. But he does not give up and comes back again to ask, "Do you want to die here?"
"Miao Miao wants to go look for Shifu!" I screamed, my ears covering my ears refusing to talk with him.
Yin Zi suddenly hugged me, with a tearful voice, he said, "Miao Miao, I beg you, open your eyes and take a look around."
"I don't want to!"
"Please."
He was very firm and very persistent, I finally opened my misty eyes hesitantly. I took a look in all four direction, Bull Devil had been squatting under a tree with a depressed expression, Ao Yun sighed while having his head down, Jin Wen has been in a coma ever since, and Xiao Tian had been comforting the crying Wawa. Everyone else was either with a sad expression or was quietly wiping away their tears.
I then turned around to look at Yin Zi, he suddenly hugged me and cried. I've never seen him cry so pitifully and embarassingly, he said, "Please, don't be like this, if you die, I will be very sad. Miao Miao, please, live on, okay?"
Seeing his sad expression, I finally broke out of my trance and remembered that I wasn't alone.
The sun slowly rose from the east once more, illuminating the earth. I eventually recovered from my frenzied state, telling Yin Zi, "I'm sorry…..I'm sorry….."
Yin Zi shook his head to tell me it didn't matter, and said, "What do you plan on doing in the future?"
What to do? I was confused. My mind was still remembering the story Shifu had said to me in the past. He said that there was a Budha in the West where all your problems can be solved...
He could help Miao Miao make this painful transition, bring Shifu back, and bring back that happiness?
When I raised this issue with everyone, all of them were surprised. Some said it might work, while some said it wouldn't work, but there was no definitive answer.
As long as there's hope, one can not give up. I will go to the monastery in the West to see if there is a way for the Budha to save Bi Qingshen Jun.
But where is the West? Where is this monastery?
Everyone shook their heads to indicate that they've never heard of this mysterious place before.
As we were discussing who we could ask for directions, Ao Yun cleared a path and walked up to me. He reached forward to tidy my messy hair and then firmly said, "The Dragon Tribe will occasionally go to the Monastery of the West to listen to its teachings. I know the way, so I can send you there, but if the request you've asked for is too hard, and the Budha gets angry, you must leave immediately, understand?"