It was hard to pinpoint exactly when or where Hua saw him before. But his figure. His shadow. His face. The cigarette smoke surrounding him.
When she wasn't yet Hua, she had definitely met him, but whether it was for a split moment or years, she did not know.
But somehow, though she spent her entire life chasing after this past that once slipped between her fingers, at the moment she saw this man's familiar face, something deep inside of her willed her to run.
Before she could flee, a hand wrapped around her back. Along with it, a newfound sensation of warmth seeped through her thin clothes. He patted her back. Was it to comfort her? It wasn't harsh in comparison to what she was used to, but intrinsically, Hua flinched, conditioned from years of beatings. And though the lashes weren't there anymore, she could still feel the places where leather met flesh that burned in agony wherever he touched her.
This feeling was so strange. She wanted to struggle away from this man, but an unknown sense of familiarity held her in place.
"Sorry guys, the kid was running around on her own." His voice had a slur to it, a clouded quality muffling every word and forcing them together. "I'll watch her more carefully next time."
Someone spat. "You still owe us some big bucks, so don't cross us too quickly just yet." The man snatched a glass beer bottle from the nearest person and brought it hard onto the countertop without second thought. Green shard exploded, flying into the air in a frenzy before falling with an even more spectacular impact. "Your cargo should be delivered soon. There's no point hanging on to it if you're not going to sell it."
If it wasn't her hallucination, she felt the man intrinsically tighten his embrace and lift one arm to shield her face. "If the cargo isn't in good condition, no one would take it anyway."
"You see that, pretty boy? Next time you try to pull something funny, it's going to be your head." The man spat once more before turning around and waving for a group to join him.
Hua would have said that the entire scene returned back to calmness, but considering the world around her, the exact opposite could have been said. The music continued to blast. The shouts clamored on. And the fear grew ever stronger.
"Let's go," he tugged on her sleeve. "This isn't the place for you." He looked at her and smiled.
He smiled.
Someone smiled at her.
Never in her visible memory had someone smiled at her. All she saw were jeers, and the only time her "parents" beamed at her on her wedding day, it was to greet her at the doors of death.
She knew she shouldn't, but for this single smile, she listened to his words. They traveled up a grimy staircase wordlessly, listening to the soft tapping sound of footsteps, one light and one steady.
The guards manning the final door cast them looks of disgust, but all Hua saw before her was the door. It was her freedom. It had to be her chance to rewrite her fate like she was promised.
With a creak of protest, the door opened. But much to her dismay, they were inside a worn-down warehouse with lights that flickered on and off, reminiscent of the ghost stories the village wives chattered about.
But then she saw the sky. It was so blue, dripping with color in a way she never remembered it to be. The meadows were emerald green. The sun was dazzling like a diamond. The clouds were puffs of pearl. At that moment, all of the supposedly most beautiful things Hua heard of in life couldn't describe her excitement, as if this was the first time she felt life.
She wasn't sure why she felt that way. It didn't make sense. But all of a sudden, she didn't care. It was as if she truly was a child, basking in the beauty of the world for the first time.
From seemingly nowhere, a colorful festival appeared in the corner of her eye. The world "carnival" popped up in her mind.
"Do you want to go?" The man asked, but his words blended into one.
Soaring through the air in the swings as if she was flying, spinning around the teapots game as if she was dancing, laughing alongside the man as if there was no tomorrow…
Then, to her left, a toystore emerged from the streets.
"Let's pick out a gift for you," The man chuckled, his voice more soothing.
He finally settled on a fluffy teddy bear, and she immediately dubbed him "Beary." Her voice no longer felt strange, and she grew accustomed to this body. It was her own, after all.
Without knowing, his hand slipped into hers without protest.
"Do you want candy?" He asked, reaching into his pockets and fishing out a heart-shaped piece. Each syllable was as clear as glass.
Hua didn't budge. She never had candy before, but a thought in the back of her mind warned her that she wouldn't like it. Sure, she's never been to a carnival or had a teddy bear before either, but this was different. She wouldn't like it.
He peeled back the wrappers, giving her a rub on the head as he did so in the most doting way. Smilingly, he popped the gummy into her mouth as she opened it to speak.
The sweetness seeped into every corner of her, occupying every last part of her existence.
The world shut off.