Chereads / The Defective Detective / Chapter 25 - Part III, Chapter III - The Couple

Chapter 25 - Part III, Chapter III - The Couple

I gazed upon the glass cup, inside was a trace of white substance.

"Why did you kill that person?" I asked.

"Who?" replied the boy

"You and your girl"

"Don't you dare involve my bae in this!"

I snorted, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"It's Danish for poop"

"You, sir, should be ashasmed of yourself! This is my lover and I am soon to marry her! We are engaged, you see"

"Me? With a girl like that, you should be ashamed!" I pointed out.

"Perhaps we would like to go back to the damn job?" interrupted Officer Heinz.

"Yes of course, Let us ask you a few questions"

"Move, bitch" said Jane. The girl moved closer to the window to allow Jane to sit between and grab them by the shoulder.

"What are your names?" I asked. The man introduced himself as Asbjørn, and his wife as Liv. Common names indeed. But possibly not as common as my fist.

"Did you murder the fucker?"

"No!" answered the boy.

"Are you gay?"

"Excuse me, i'm straight!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you bastard!"

"Yeah, I just wanted to make fun of you. Is this your first flight?"

"Yes" said both of them.

"One of them is lying" said Jane "Is the one on my left the boy or the bitch?"

"The bitch" I answered.

"Liv, why are you hiding a tattoo on your left arm?"

"It's a tattoo of a Limousine. She loves how fancy the car is"

"Is that what she told you?"

"What's going on here?" interrupted one of the Flight Attendants.

"We're being accused of murder because someone drank milk and this Sherlock actor found a glass cup of it inside the dead person's ass-hole" said the boy, his voice dried up and he coughed.

"Yes, indeed" said Sherlock "Did the milk dry up your throat? Tis tis, let me finish. You cannot disagree for the small milk stain under the collar of your shirt says otherwise, and if we sniff the white substance of the glass" for dramatic effect, he sniffed the glass so hard. It must have had traces of the smell of feces because he coughed hard afterwards. He then continued "Ahh yes, Powdered milk!"

"Okay okay!" Asbjørn panicked "I admit I did drink milk, but i'm innocent and so is my lady!"

"But your bitch will have to explain why she lied about this being her first flight" said Jane.

"What?"

"Both of you said this is your first flight" said I "But why does one of your bags have a milestone badge which can only be gained by travelling to other countries?"

"None of us killed anybody!" said Liv.

"Then why did your boy keep his drinking milk hidden and why did you avoid the question just now?" interrupted Sherlock. "May we check the components of your bag? thank you" He grabbed the bag without permission and pulled its zipper open after laying it on the ground. He searched through it and found an awful lot of make up, a glow stick, three wallets, an mp3 player with ear phones, and an ear bud.

"So you mentioned you're a journalist, Liv? Then why can't I find a single pen and paper in the bag? Even those who aren't journalists would bring a pen and paper"

"Ma'am we're gonna have to contact the authorities on you" said the Flight Attendant.

"Shame on you!" snapled Asbjørn "Shame on all of you for accusing my fiancé!"

"It's better you break up and save the pain. Liv is cheating on you" said Jane, still sitting between the two.

"What?"

"You smell like orange juice from the body spray you use, Asbjørn. But Liv, here, smell like Grapes"

"What does that have to do?" asked Liv

"You two cuddled like two hobos fucking in a shoebox filled with piss but you didn't catch his stench. Not to mention, when you touched my hand without my permission I sensed you had urge to hold it so tight as if you never had touched anyone else's before, however, you've only cuddled a few minutes ago. This is because you are tired of his hand and want the other one. Now, you smell like grapes because you caught that stench from the other guy, and the fact that your stupid boy's stench didn't cling on to you, you cuddled with the other man longer than him"

"That doesn't make any sense"

"Of course it doesn't make any shitting sense. That's life! Now I deduce that that other guy is on this plane with us right now"

"I don't have any other guy"

"Oh, do ya?" interrupted Sherlock "You don't mind if I walk around the plane, do you?"

"I-"

"Thank you. There is a killer among us, and to find the killer, we must find the accomplice" he said as he walked around the plane with his finger tips together. All other passengers watched "The accomplice will, of course, always lie to protect him-or-her. We may have found his accomplice and all we need now is proof. The killer would be panicking by now and as I observe and outwit pretty much every single one of you here. The man Liv is cheating on Asbjørn with is you, sir!" he turned around to point at a man wearing a white T-shirt with the Angry Video Game Nerd logo printed on. His hair was short and black, and his skin was tanned.

"Huh?" he gasped

"Why did you two kill the idiot?"

"We didn't poison him!"

"Funny, I never mentioned the cause of death and we never knew the gender. You speak perfect English, sir. And what is that on your shirt?" he pointed at a small barely visible stain of milk on the sleeve of his shirt "And that aroma produced by you. Grapes!" he sniffed the man and gestured for me to come, holding the man's arm high as if to show something "Tell me, William, does this man have a tattoo?"

"Yes, I can see it clearly" It was the tattoo of a Limousine.

"Does it look very identitcal to that of Liv's?"

"Suspiciously identitcal"

"This is outrageous!" yelled Liv, standing up "I do not know that man!"

"Yet you have the same stench and tattoo. And what is this inside his back pocket? A heart-shape pendant! I wonder what's inside?" he looked into it and opened to reveal two cropped parts of the same picture of him and Liv, waving it high in the air for everyone to see.

"Liv, what's going on?" asked Asbjørn.

"As it turns out, only Asbjørn is innocent"

"Say something, Liv!" said the male suspect.

"Shut the fuck up, you said the plan would work!" Liv panicked

"Not like that! Don't listen to her"

"It's too late now" laughed Sherlock.

"Liv, what the fuck is going on?" cried Asbjørn, Literally, tears started to fall down. "How long has this been going?"

"Before you two met" said the male suspect.

"Shut up!" yelled Liv.

"The murdered man in the bathroom" interrupted Sherlock "Was Liv's ex. Basically, you two are a killer couple. You cheat on each other in order to kill the unsuspecting idiot and Asbjørn was gonna be the next victim"

"Jason, do something!" yelled Liv.

"Oh, so you're name is Jason? You two are a good match. Too bad death will do you part in jail. And I mean-" Sherlock's speech was interrupted by Jason's punch. The passenger who sat next to him punched his nose to defend Sherlock, but instead caused a chain reaction that made everyone in the plane stand up to fight each other. I ran to Jane as quickly as I could to defend her. She was surprisingly a good fighter for a blind a woman.