POV----BLYTHE
I didn't want to do this. Why had I come up here? Because I was tired and frustrated with the noise. That's why. I had spent hours writing, then, when I got ready for bed, the noise had started up again. Did these people not need sleep? I just wanted to ask them to be a little quieter. I hadn't wanted to be forced into staying at the party. I just wanted to go to bed.
"I really don't want to do this," I told Krit, who had his hand on my back and was firmly guiding me inside.
"Why not? They won't bite you. I promise, because I won't fucking let them," The amusement in his voice bothered me. I wasn't kidding. I didn't want to go into this party.
"Please. I'm sorry I came up here. I will figure out how to sleep through this. Just let me leave." I was ready to beg now. Whatever I needed to do to get away from this place. I could feel people staring at me. I hated that feeling. I knew what they were thinking. What they saw. I had come up here with my glasses on because I'd needed to see the computer screen, and my hair was in a mess on top of my head. My heart began to race. I had to get out of there.
"Shit, love, you're shaking." Krit's voice was no longer amused. He stopped walking, and slipped his finger under my chin to tilt my head back. The frown on his face as he studied mine was new. He normally looked constantly amused.
"Come with me," he said quietly, and reached down to take my hand. Then he walked down a hallway toward a closed door.
My panic escalated. That was a bedroom. I wasn't going into a bedroom with him. I had to get away. I tried to tug my hand loose from his hold, but he threaded his fingers through mine and tightened his grip. No one had ever held my hand before. I stared down at his hand in mine and lost my train of thought for a moment.
It was a warm feeling having someone's palm pressed against yours. His fingers laced with mine made me feel like I wasn't alone. Like I was connected to someone. Had I ever felt that before? I wasn't sure.
A door swung open, and Krit pulled me inside before closing it behind me.
"Don't look so terrified. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to. Just wanted to get you away from the noise a minute so we could be alone and talk."
"Talk?" I asked as his hand released mine. The cold lonely feeling was back. I clasped my hands in an attempt to hold the warmth there. I had liked that warmth.
"You confuse me. Most girls don't confuse me. But you, little dancer, have me playing guessing games. Why is that?"
He called me little dancer again. I wasn't a dancer. Not even close. But I liked that he had a special name for me. It made me feel like I belonged.
"I didn't really get into a social scene growing up. Not very good at that. I don't fit in." I hated pointing that out to him. For some reason he didn't seem to get that I didn't fit in, and I hadn't wanted to be the one to break the news to him.
Krit cocked an eyebrow. "You say that like it's a bad thing. Most people want to stand out."
Stand out? That wasn't what I meant. I shook my head. "No, that's not . . . I mean, I don't . . . I'm not appealing to be around." That probably made less sense. I wasn't about to open up to this guy about what was wrong with me. If he didn't see it, then good. I liked that.
Krit frowned and stared at me like I was insane. Great. Now he saw the real me. Whatever he had been missing, I had just pointed it out to him. Why hadn't I kept my mouth shut?
"You really mean that," he said in a low whisper as he continued to stare at me. "Who the fuck told you that?"
I shrugged and turned my gaze from his to study the bedroom we were in. I wasn't going to answer his question. That was something no one needed to know.
The walls were a smoky gray color, and the ceiling was painted black. I wasn't allowed to paint my walls, yet he had painted his. The large king-size bed in the middle of the room was a rumpled mess. An electric guitar sat in one corner, and in the other far corner was an acoustic guitar. I turned my focus to the posters on the walls. Two of them were of what I assumed were rock bands, and there were signatures on them. Then, of course, the other poster was of a naked blonde with really big—and hopefully fake—boobs, because they looked a lot like bowling balls. They couldn't be real. The blonde was straddling a guitar, and the only thing keeping her private area covered were her hands gripping the guitar between her legs.
"I wonder if she ever wears panties," I mumbled out loud before I could stop myself.
Krit's laughter startled me, and I turned to see two very distinct dimples on his face. He didn't look like the kind of guy who would have dimples, but wow, they did things for me. "I like to believe she doesn't," he replied, once he was through laughing.
"Where are you from?" Krit asked.
"A small town in South Carolina. You wouldn't have heard of it," I replied, feeling the sick knot in my stomach forming, the one that always came with memories of my life there.
"Are they blind in that small town I wouldn't have heard of?" he asked with a softer tone to his voice.
I swung my gaze back to his and studied his expression. Was he teasing me again? "No," I replied.
Krit frowned then slowly ran his thumb over his bottom lip several times. It was a fascinating thing to watch. He had really nice lips. I wondered how often he used them. I would assume he was very talented with those lips.
His hand fell away, and he took a step toward me. "Will you go in there and meet everyone for me? Maybe have a beer? Just try to relax and enjoy being in a crowd?" His voice had dropped to a smooth thick drawl. It was very hard to tell him no. "I just want you to ease into being social. Here it's safe because I'll make sure it's safe. I won't let anything happen to you or hurt you."
In a few days school was starting, and I would need to be in lots of social situations. This was my new start. I wanted to be able to walk through a crowd without having a panic attack. If Krit could help me, then maybe I should at least try.
"Okay," I blurted before I could change my mind.
The pleased grin on his face was almost worth the fact I was going to have to face strangers who might not be as blind as he was about me. Someone was bound to see the bad in me. They always had before.
He nodded toward the door and grinned. "Let's go." Then he made his way to the door to walk out of the safety I had found in his room. I couldn't seem to get my legs to follow him.
When he glanced back to see I hadn't made a move to go with him, he chuckled and shook his head. Then he held out his hand to me and waited.
I liked holding his hand. I could do this. I took a step forward and slipped my hand in his. The warmth was back, and I was able to take a deep breath again. Okay. This was good.
"Come on, little dancer," he said gently, then led me out of the room and down the hall.
The music was louder out there and the laughter and voices reminded me of how I didn't fit into this world. I was a loner. I liked being a loner. As if Krit could read my mind, he squeezed my hand reassuringly. Right. He was with me. This was his crowd, and he wasn't going to let anyone say anything to hurt me.
"Where'd you two go?" Green asked with a frown on his face, but I couldn't hear Krit's response over the noise.
I started to say something to Green, who was really nice and who I had felt comfortable with right away. He had a friendly smile. Before I could speak to him, Krit pulled me over to stand beside him. "Here's a beer," he said, handing me a red plastic cup. I took it, although I wasn't sure I was going to drink it. I didn't like the way alcohol smelled.
"You left me," the blonde I had seen him with when I arrived said as she walked up to him and turned her back to me.
"A friend showed up. Sorry, babe, but I'm going to spend some time with her. I'll find you after she leaves," he replied with a wink, and tugged me closer before walking us toward the sofa.
The girl pouted at him then shot an angry glare at me. She was upset that I was taking her date away. She should be. I wasn't going to make any friends by doing that.
Krit sank onto the sofa, pulling me down beside him. I could feel people staring at us. Were they all mad that he wasn't with the blond girl? I studied the cup in my hand, unable to lift my eyes.
"Who's this?" a curious male voice asked. He didn't sound angry. He sounded nice.
"This"—Krit slipped his finger under my chin and lifted it so that I was now forced to look at the person speaking to him—"is my new neighbor, Blythe. Blythe, this is Matty. He's the drummer in our band."
Matty had bright orange hair that stuck up in all different directions. I wasn't able to focus on much else. I had never seen hair quite like his before.
"Hello, Blythe," Matty said, and I realized he had a warm smile and friendly brown eyes.
"It's nice to meet you," I croaked out. The nerves weren't letting up. Speaking to strangers was hard.
Matty's grin got bigger, and he shifted his gaze back to Krit. "Dude," he replied, and shook his head. I watched him take a long drink of the beer in his hand.
"Matty can be a douche, but we overlook his lack of verbal skills," Krit said so close to my ear that his warm breath tickled the sensitive skin there.
I shivered, and Krit went very still beside me. Before I could start worrying about my reaction, his hand tightened its hold on mine. Again the warmth calmed me.
"Dude," Matty said a second time, now chuckling. "Shitting me," he muttered, then turned his attention to me and smirked. "Careful with him, sweetheart."
"Don't," Krit said in a hard voice that startled me.
Matty's eyebrows shot up, then he walked off. He had seen me. He saw what everyone saw. I wanted to leave. Krit was the most accepting person I had ever met, and I didn't want to meet anymore of his friends, because I was sure they would all react like Matty had.
"I need to go," I told Krit as I tried to slip my hand from his.
"No," he said, tightening his grasp. "Ignore him," he said.
I wished I could have ignored him, but I had spent my life dealing with people not wanting to be around me. And there was a beautiful blond woman there who wanted to be with Krit. He was trying to help me fit in, and he was being so kind about it. I couldn't do this to him.
"I am really tired. Thank you for . . . for sitting with me and talking to me," I said. "But I really am ready to go back to my apartment."
I managed to get my hand free, and I stood up quickly and darted for the door. I kept my head down and my attention focused on not tripping and falling. Once I was free of the apartment, I took a deep breath but kept moving.
"Blythe." Green's voice called out to me, and I wanted to ignore him and get to the safety of my apartment. But he had been nice to me.
I stopped and looked back at him. He was walking out of the apartment and headed toward me. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah, just tired."
He didn't look like he believed me. "You sure?"
Krit was moving through the crowd now. His eyes were on me, and he was headed my way. I had to go. "Really, I'm fine. I just want to go back to my place."
"Blythe." Krit's demanding voice stopped me from running. He sounded angry. I hadn't meant to make him angry.
"What did you do?" Green asked him as he scowled at Krit.
"Fuck off," he growled at Green. "I didn't do shit. I need to talk to her, so go," he replied, but his eyes were locked on me.
"She's not one of—" Green started, but Krit was in his face immediately.
"I fucking know that. Not what this is about. Now, go."
Green let out a defeated sigh and nodded before turning to walk back into the party.
"What happened in there?" he asked me.
He still didn't get it, and I couldn't bring myself to break the news to him that I was tainted. "I'm just tired," I told him.
He ran a hand through his blond locks and sighed. "Okay. I get that. If it's the real reason you're leaving." He pointed back at his door. "But if this is about what Matty said, then ignore his stupid ass. He thinks I'm trying to make a move on you." He stopped and grinned at me like he had made a private joke. "He saw you and assumed the wrong thing. I'm not blind, Blythe. I know you're not my kind. He was worried about it. I'm not a bad guy. I would never go there with you. I see you. I get it. I was just trying to be friendly. You seemed like you needed someone to help you deal with shit, and I wanted to help."
Oh. So he did see me. He knew. I was going to be sick. My head started pounding, and the small amount of comfort I had taken from him was ripped away. I had to go. I managed a nod before I took off running. I had to get to my apartment before I threw up. The sick knot in my stomach had exploded.