Chapter Six:
Noah:
Another wasted day.
I honestly didn't care anymore; I was done with this.
I wanted out; I can't sit through another one of Baird's speeches.
He said one more day, and I gave him that. No more.
"Noah."
Not right now.
I turned to see Raisa standing only a few feet away.
"Raisa."
"You busy?" she asked, twirling her hair with her index finger.
I never really put much thought into it, but her pale red eyes match her personality. She was not someone I wanted to be around. Every time I felt a moment of weakness, I knew I could bury myself in her and not have to deal with her feeling rejected once I was gone.
"And if I said I was?" I asked her.
She shrugged.
"What do you want, Raisa?" I asked.
She wasn't typically one to beat around the bush.
"I want you to come up to my room with me," she said simply, and I felt disgusted with myself for actually considering it.
"I can't right now," I said.
"Later then?" she asked, running her hand down my arm.
"That all depends," I said, "Are you going to burn me again?"
She laughed, "Come on, don't tell me that little thing bothered you?"
"If you mean annoyed me," I stated, "Yes, it did."
"Poor baby," she said, making a mock sad face "I can kiss it better."
Fuck.
"Raisa," I said.
"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, waving me off.
She walked away, and I was surprised how little fight she put up.
She used to be… a lot worse.
That didn't matter right now, I needed to speak to Baird.
I waited until the last volunteer left the building, and I approached him.
He sat in his usual chair at the end of the table. Two other chairs faced each other on either side of him.
"Noah," he greeted "How was your day?"
"Baird," I said back, "The same as it has been the last two weeks."
"Still nothing?" he asked, examining the computer in front of him.
"Still nothing," I stated.
"That is," he said, "Unfortunate."
"Yes," I said, "It is."
He turned to meet my gaze "So, then you truly want to take a break?"
"A permanent one," I nodded, "Yes."
"I already said," Baird stated, "It is not up to me."
"And if I just stop showing up?" I asked.
"Noah," he said in a warning tone.
I didn't like it when Baird acted like this. We could usually come to him with all kinds of our problems, and most he would document, but few depending on their sensitivity, he would keep to himself.
"I'm losing my mind Baird," I admitted.
"I am sorry, Noah," he said, "Truly."
I didn't want to be here, I wanted to get out and drink.
"So, then I won't see you here tomorrow?" he asked.
"No, Baird, you won't," I said.
"Take the long weekend," Baird said, "I will expect you back here next Thursday."
"That is a long weekend," I said, nodding. "Thank you, Baird."
"Noah," he said, "You will be stuck here anyway if you refuse to participate, you know this."
I did know that. I just hated this.
"Thank you, Baird."
"Enjoy your time off."
I just nodded as I left.
Shay:
It was all too real now.
Jody got here almost an hour ago, and we were about to do our 'Spa Stuff' as she called it.
Tomorrow was the day.
My nerves were all over the place.
"Here," Jody said, "Put this on."
She threw a pair of shorts at me and a sports bra.
I frowned before doing what she said.
I traded out my day bra with the sport one, and I removed the jeans I wore to replace them with the short cotton pair of shorts.
"Spa day," she sang.
I just smiled at her, even though I was still feeling too nervous to be excited.
Why did I feel so damn nervous?
"Come on, Shay," she said before tossing a face mask at me "At least pretend like you're excited."
"I am," I said, "I'm just more nervous than I am excited."
She sat next to me, "Well, let's take it a little bit at a time and go from there."
"That's what she said," I whispered to her without even blinking.
She narrowed her eyes at me, thinking about what just came out of her mouth.
"Fair," she said, "I will allow it."
I nodded before grinning at her.
"Now put the damn face mask on," she grabbed me by the face and slammed me into the bed.
"Okay," I said with her hand still over my face.
"Good," she said, retracting her hand.
I couldn't help but laugh, she scared the hell out of me with that face grab.
I sat up a little to tear open the mask, and she was glaring at me.
"What?" I gasped.
"Just making sure you're doing what you're told."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
I managed to pull the mask out and unfolded it.
"What does yours smell like?" Jody asked.
"Smells kind of like coconut," I said before placing it on my face "What does yours smell like?"
"Rose," she said, lying down next to me.
It actually felt relaxing.
"Jody," I heard my brother say.
We both sat up to see Cody standing in the doorway.
"What's up, Cody?" Jody asked.
"Can I play too?" he asked.
She made a noise, "Of course you can. Get in here."
He grinned before walking in and sitting on the bed.
"What kind should Cody have?" Jody asked me.
"What kind is there?" I asked.
"Uh," she said, looking through them, "Pomegranate, Cucumber, lemon, and charcoal."
I looked at Cody, "Which one sounds better?"
He smiled at me, shyly, "Can I have the Pomegranate one?"
"Absolutely," Jody said, handing it to him, "Do you need help putting it on?"
He shook his head, "I can do it."
We both watched him to make sure he could do it, and he did.
"Me too!" Connor ran in the room, "Me too!"
"Cucumber," I told Jody.
"Already on it," Jody said, opening the Cucumber for Connor.
"What are you guys all doing in here?" Andre asked.
"Spa day bro," Jody said, "You want to join?"
"And I would do that, why?" he asked.
"Andre," I said half sitting up, putting my weight on my elbow just to look at him "Because she has a charcoal one, and nothing is manlier than charcoal."
He sighed before walking into the room, "If I fall asleep in here, it's your fault."
"Okay," I said.
Jody handed him the charcoal face mask, and we all settled on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
The ceiling fan going around and around was actually relaxing. The dark brown wood color blurred as the fan spun.
"This is nice," I said.
"Feeling better?" Jody asked.
"Much," I said.
And I meant it.
Funny enough, we all fell asleep on my bed.
Noah:
I was going to do whatever I could to avoid staying here today.
No way in hell was I going to chance Baird dragging me back to the trial center.
I was up a good twenty minutes before the volunteers would be arriving. I needed to get the hell out of here.
I dressed quickly, and I didn't care what I did next. I just needed to go.
I found myself going to the other side of the facility where the other programs were being run.
My eyes landed on Griff, and I felt relieved before I saw Breena.
I stopped, and she looked at me.
"Noah," she greeted "What brings you here?"
I glanced at Griff, and her gaze went to him as well.
"I was going to ask if he wanted to hang out today," I said, "Outside of the facility."
Griff looked at me, confused.
"He can go if he wants to," Breena said, "There isn't much planned for this morning."
Griff shrugged before walking over "What's up?"
"Just get out of here with me for a while?" I asked.
"You don't need to tell me twice," he said, "Just let me change."
I nodded.
It felt like I was quite literally itching to get out of here. My skin prickled, and I just felt like I had to get out.
Griff was quick to change, and we headed out.
"What did you want to do?" Griff asked me.
"Honestly?" I asked him, "I want to drink."
Griff grinned at me, "You know I'm down for that."
We went to the liquor store not too far from the facility, making sure to get a few bottles.
"Where to next?" I asked Griff.
He shrugged, "There is a pretty good drinking spot by the lake."
"Let's go," I said.
He led the way, and I was just relieved to be away.
Shay:
From the moment the alarm went off this morning, I was up and moving.
Andre took the boys to school, as he usually does when he doesn't have the early shift.
He assured me that he could take his lunch when the boys would be getting out of school, he always tried to be the one to get them from school and take them to daycare.
I used to think it was because he had a thing for Eileen, but then I learned otherwise.
"Move your ass," Jody said to me the second I was out of the shower.
She was already almost ready.
I didn't hesitate to start getting ready. I just needed to dry off a little more before I started putting my clothes on.
It took me walking from the bathroom to my closet to realize that Jody already laid my clothes out for me. I mean, we did already plan out our outfits. Thank you, Jody.
I looked up at her while I dried my hair.
"I see you're wearing the new piercings," Jody said, glancing back at me.
I didn't have to look down to know what she meant. The metal bar was silver, and the ends were purple rhinestone balls. She had the matching pair, only they were pink.
"I am," I said, "Are you?"
I didn't expect her to pull the front of her shirt down to show me, "You bet your naked ass, I am."
She is like a sister, a weird, clingy, likes to be where you are when you're there, sister. I'm joking, we just didn't give a shit about if the other was naked or not.
"That top looks cute on you," I said to her before standing up to start getting dressed.
"Thank you," she said with a broad grin on her face.
She was wearing a crop long-sleeved top. It angled up and pointed, revealing more of her abdomen. The shirt showed her shoulders, and just barely the tops of her breasts. Like me, she was not a large breasted girl, but hers were still bigger than mine.
She wore faded blue high-rise jeans. I knew she had a pink over the shoulder purse somewhere, I just don't know where she put it. When she sat at the end of the bed, I saw she was already wearing her shoes when she crossed her legs. They were high heels, black, pink, and red. Only they were zombie shoes. There was a black lace bow at the back, and I could just barely see her toes.
"If we get called back," she said, "We're both getting our nails done."
She must have realized how bare her toes were.
"Not going to happen," I told her.
I wasn't going to spend sixty dollars to get my nails done. Though if we just painted our toes at home, that might be doable…
"I can just ask Roselyn," Jody stated, "I'm sure she'd do our nails if I did her hair."
I would go for that.
I shrugged before pulling on my black jeans. High-rise, like hers. It was funny because the only thing we really spent money on was the shoes. We went to a few discount stores and found our whole outfit.
My shirt was cropped, black, of course. The straps were about two fingers thick, and there was a small cutout on both sides at the bottom. This shirt showed off the tattoo on my side.
My boyfriend before Toby was apprenticing at a tattoo shop. He was not a great artist, but the guy he worked for was, and I got him to give me an outstanding deal.
It's the upper torso and up of a human skeleton, on my right side. The skeleton is dark gray, but around it, kind of overlapping it, is the head of a wolf baring its teeth, that part was red. Almost to signify a transformation.
I wore similar heels to her, but mine are pale blue and black. Still zombie, still cute. They also had a lace bow on the back.
We grabbed our purses before we headed out.
It was strange though, the first couple of minutes, I was okay. I was giddy and excited, then the longer we walked, I felt my nerves catching up with me.
I took in an unnecessarily large breath and held it longer than I should have.
"Shay," Jody patted my back, "Knock it off."
I nodded, at least I think I did.
"We both got all dressed up," she said, "Now pussy up."
It always made me cringe when she said that.
"I'm trying," I said.
Were my legs shaking? Or was that just in my head? Then again, it could just be that I wore these heels today.
Jody glanced down at her phone, making sure that we were going the right way.
We had been walking for at least twenty minutes.
"We should be close now," she said, looking around.
We saw a man standing outside of a large building that looked like a cross between an office building and a hospital. It said 'The Facility' on the outside of the building, in large letters.
Jody walked up, and the man smiled politely at her.
"Are you ladies here for the trial?" he asked.
"Yes," Jody grinned "We just got a little lost."
"It's right this way," he said, gesturing for her to enter the large building.
He walked ahead to open the door for us.
"Thank you," Jody said.
"Thank you," I said low.
I glanced around at the pristine white everything. This place was clean.
"My name is Henry Baird," he said, "If you would like, you may simply call me Baird, many here do."
We both nodded.
To be honest, I was a little suspicious of him standing out front. He didn't look like a creepy old guy. In fact, he looked like he was in his late twenties or early thirties.
His hair was orange-red, and his eyes were light blue.
Baird was a handsome man.
"If I may get your names," Baird said.
"Jody McFarland," Jody shook his hand.
"My real name?" I asked, "Or just what I go by?"
"What you prefer will suffice," Baird said, "But in the paperwork, please fill out everything properly."
"Shay Hamilton," I said, shaking his hand.
"Lovely to meet both of you," he said, "This way."
Jody glanced at me before following Baird to another room.
"There are several questionnaires," he said, "Please take one and fill it out completely."
I nodded before making my way to the tables with the stack of papers.
I tried to grab a single piece of paper, but a whole packet came with it.
"Uh," I said, looking a Jody.
She grabbed a packet of her own. She made sure to grab two pens from the cup next to the stack. I did the same.
"Sit over here with me," she led me a little away from the main table.
I don't know where Baird went, but he left the room.
"Is it just me," Jody asked, "Or does it feel like we're about to get murdered?"
I glanced over at her, "I thought for a minute that it was just me."
She glanced down at the paperwork and frowned.
At first glance, it didn't look like they were holding anything back.
What is your original gender?
Like, I would think that some people wouldn't want to answer this.
I was a female born female.
My gaze went to Jody, and she was just writing her answers like it didn't even matter.
I guess I should just do the same.
At first, the questions were basic, age, name, height, date of birth, and stuff like that. Hair color, natural hair color, eye color, and if I had any allergies. My shoe size, and if I had any pets. I'm not married, and I never have been. I'm not engaged either.
It was getting more and more personal the further I got into the questionnaire.
What is your sexual orientation?
I mean, as far as I knew, I was straight.
"Am I gay?" Jody asked me.
I looked at her, "Are you?"
She shook her head.
"There you go."
She grinned at me before returning to her questions.
Any STD's? Damn. No. Have I ever been tested for any… well no.
Are you a virgin?
I had to sit there for a minute.
Jody nudged me with her arm.
I looked over at her concerned expression.
"Everything okay?"
I nodded, even though I was feeling a little weirded out.
Was this worth two hundred dollars?
It didn't take much longer for Baird to walk back into the room with three other people.
Two of them were girls, and the other was definitely a man.
It was his full neck length beard and manly aura that gave it away.
I could also see several tattoos spread across his arms and at least one on the side of his neck.
Baird told them the same thing he told us about the paperwork.
"Uh, Mr. Baird," Jody said, "What do I put if I have difficulty getting an erection?"
I nearly choked, trying to hide my laughter.
The girls that walked in looked irritated, but the guy only laughed.
Baird smiled politely, "Unless you have something that erects, I would recommend you put N/A for non-applicable."
"Thank you," she said before turning around and writing her answer down.
"That's really a question?" I asked her.
She looked up to nod at me, "So is, do you have difficulty getting wet?"
Oh wow.
"Well, I certainly don't get erection often," Jody said before writing something down.
"What?" I asked.
It seems like the only thing they didn't ask was our address and our measurements.
"Never been pregnant," Jody said low, "Do I want kids?"
"You want kids," I said to her.
"I do," she nodded.
I reached the medical questions, and I guess I shouldn't expect anything less.
Was I currently sexually active? Well, not at the moment.
Mental illness in the family? I didn't think so. Did I have a mental illness? I wondered sometimes, but I wrote no.
Do I use drugs or smoke? No. Have I ever? Well, I think I did what most kids did. I wrote yes, and it asked me to specify.
Mushrooms and weed.
Do I still use them? No.
Do I drink? Not really, so I just put no.
Next was all kinds of surgery history questions. Those were easy because I've never had surgery. Never had a blood transfusion, haven't donated blood, and I don't have an issue with my memory.
Blood type? Uh, A negative, I think.
Do I have any tattoos, piercings, scars, or body modification? Yes, I do.
Then it asked about vaccination and flu shots. I was up to date on both.
Would I describe myself as healthy?
"Jody?" I asked.
She looked up at me, "What's up?"
"Would you say I was healthy?" I asked.
"Yeah," she nodded.
Alright.
Did I experience seizures? Fortunately, I did not. I don't get sick often. No asthma. No cancer or history of cancer. Thankfully.
I haven't had to see a doctor for anything specific, so that's a no on that one. I was in a car accident a few years ago, so that was a yes. Have I ever had a physical? Weren't those mandatory in school? Yes.
I don't take any medication.
I kept scanning the questions while I tried to write as fast as I could.
I could hear more people coming in behind me.
"How many people actually show up to this thing?" Jody asked.
Hell, if I knew.
As far as I knew, I wasn't depressed, so I put no there.
I don't wear glasses, and I'm not color blind.
The next question made me stop again.
Are you infertile?
Was that really something they needed to know?
I wasn't, but that might hit hard for some people.
Do I walk or exercise? Yes, my legs still remember the Zumba class we took the other night.
Do I experience pain often?
I was a little confused on this one.
I turned in my chair to look at the red-headed man, now sitting at the end of the table with the large stack of paper still present. A good chunk of it was missing, though.
"Mr. Baird?" I asked.
His gaze came up from the tablet in front of him to meet mine.
"This question is a little vague," I said, "If I experience pain often."
"Well, there are many forms of pain that one could suffer from," he said, "If you have any pain, just say yes and then write down what kind, and why."
I nodded, "Okay, thank you."
He only smiled back in response before returning his attention back to the tablet.
I just wrote no. Nothing often, so it didn't matter enough to document.
How often do I have sex? Not often enough. I just wrote not often, leaving out the word enough. Do I use protection? Well, that escalated quickly. Yes, I do.
Am I in a relationship? No.
Was I employed? No.
I had to write N/A for the next one. If I wasn't employed, I didn't have an employer.
How many hours of sleep do I get a night? Uh, between six and ten.
Do I have any hobbies?
I guess. I just wrote a few basic-bitch hobbies.
Walking, hiking, hanging out with friends, and going to the gym. Then there was the race question.
What is your ethnicity?
Honestly, I couldn't say for sure. I think my father was part Italian, and I was pretty sure my mother was born and raised in Texas.
I didn't know much more than that.
Am I, or have I ever been homeless? For a short time, yes.
The further I got into these questions, the more I wondered what this trial was really for.
Am I in school? No.
What is my highest level of education? Highschool. I graduated and everything.
Where was I born? Here in Washington.
Any siblings? Three, one older brother, and two younger ones.
Were you raised in a single or dual-parent home?
My lips pressed together as I stared at that last question.
"Shay?" Jody asked just above a whisper.
I looked over at her, and I watched as if she was in slow motion. Her eyes dropped to look at my paper before returning to mine.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
I hesitated before nodding.
I quickly wrote down dual before moving on to the next question.
Do I own a Cellular phone? I mean, didn't everybody these days own one?
I just so happen to have one, because Andre got a good deal through his work.
Do I use Social Media often? Nope.
I know Jody couldn't say the same.
Do you use any dating websites or applications?
I did last year, but have since deleted it. It only wants to know if I am using them right now, though, and I'm not.
Part of me was actually curious if Jody used them.
I looked over at her, and it looked like she was on the last page.
"Jody?" I asked, "Do you use dating apps?"
She smirked at me, "Are you telling me you've never downloaded a dating app just to hook up with a guy before?"
I mean, I tried before. In the end, though, I couldn't go through with it.
"I tried once," I admitted, "But I chickened out."
She smiled knowingly at me, "It doesn't sound like something you would do. "
"Have you?" I asked.
"Hooked up with a guy through a dating app?" she asked for clarification.
I just nodded.
"Twice," she admitted, "This one guy was just too damn hot not to."
"And the other one?"
She shrugged, "He was sweet, but I never actually had sex with him."
"You said that you hooked up with two," I stated, "Was he not guy number two?"
"I met him in person with the intention of hooking up," she said, "But the dude used someone else's pictures."
That was definitely a deal-breaker. But I felt like I had to ask.
"Was he hot, though?"
She made a face while she tried to decide if it was a yes or a no.
"I mean," she said, drawing out her words, "He wasn't ugly."
"But?" I asked.
"But," she said, "He lied, and it didn't matter how cute he was. That shit pisses me off."
"All I'm hearing," I said low, "Is that you would smash if he didn't lie."
She nodded, "Correct."
We shared a small laugh before returning our attention to the papers in front of us.
It felt like we've been here filling this packet out for hours.
I just wanted it to be over already.
I turned the page, and I felt excited to see that it was the last page, and only half of the page had questions on it.
Do you know what this trial is for? Nope, not even a little. A simple no would suffice.
How did you hear about the trial/program?
A friend told me.
After I wrote it, I glanced over at Jody.
She was done with her packet. She was looking at me expectantly.
"Finally done?" she asked.
I held up my index finger, "Almost."
My attention went back to the questionnaire.
Have you ever heard the term "Devil' when referred to a person?
I had to read that question a few times.
Yes, I have.
I think my hand started to shake.
Do you know what a 'Devil' is?
Honestly? I had no idea.
Are you open to the possibility of being paired with an individual for a trial 'date?'
Was I?
I read the last question before answering.
Are you open to the possibility of coming back for additional trials and follow-ups?
Again, was I?
My gaze went to Jody again, she was drawing on the back of the packet.
"What did you put for the last two?" I asked her.
"Just put yes," she said, not even looking at me "If they call us back cool, if not, oh well."
I guess.
I took her advice and wrote yes to the last two.
Relief swept over me now that the dreaded packet was no longer waiting to be filled out.
"Now what?" I asked her.
She looked a little confused before smiling lightly, "I guess we give them to Mr. Baird."
I followed her as she got up and made her way over to the man in charge of this trial.
"Are you both finished?" he asked, looking up at us.
"Yes," Jody said before handing the packet to him.
I gave him mine as well.
Noah:
I was disappointed.
We had barely been here for an hour before Griff got called back in.
So, I was sitting and drinking alone.
Did it get much worse than this?
The buzzing of my phone answered that for me. Yes, it could.
From: Baird – 'You could always change your mind and come back in.'
Damn it.
He was the one that gave me the day off, and now here he was pestering me.
To: Baird – 'You're right, I could.'
I would leave it at that.
The device buzzed in my hand again. Really? Didn't Baird know how to take a hint?
I took another drink of the vodka in my hand before reading the message.
From: Baird – 'Well, it would be a shame if you didn't, there is a good-looking group of girls here today.'
Why did I not believe him?
Though I did wonder what kind of girl Baird thought was attractive. He didn't really tell us about girls he's dated. He didn't even tell us if he was into girls at all.
Was it really worth running over there to see?
Hell no. It was probably just a trick to get me back there today.
I don't think so, Baird, but nice try.
I just ignored his message and laid back to hear the sound of the wind through the tall grass, and enjoy the view of the water in front of me.
Even though in the back of my mind, I kept hearing, 'what if?'