"So, Kiba....you wanted to ask me something."
The young boy with markings on his face sighed and leaned in as if he were going to share a terrible secret, which he was in his own opinion. It wasn't a secret to me, of course, having read his thoughts.
"There's this girl...."
"Is there?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
He punched my shoulder and frowned.
"Don't joke Ryu!"
"Woof!" Akamaru agreed with him, nodding sagely.
I chuckled in mirth and gestured for him to continue.
"There's this girl, and, and I really.....like her and...want to....go out....with her. And you have to help me...so..."
Teehee. This is so...hahahaha!
I looked at him seriously, "Kiba, I am your friend." His face brightened, "I would die for you." He looked like a little puppy that got called a 'good boy'. "Just name the girl and I swear by my life and honor that I will get you a date with her."
"Really?! Thank you sooo much!" He came forward to hug me and I slapped him away. That wasn't happening...ever.
Now he looked like a kicked puppy now.
"Name. Now." I said sternly.
"H-Hinata Hyuga"
It took considerable effort not to burst out laughing.
"B-but the THING is..." he started, "I think she likes...I think she likes that fool, Naruto."
'Dude, she is obsessed with that idiot' I did not say that out loud.
"Oh. That does not matter. We'll make her see that you are better than him."
"YES!"
"Stop trying to hug me, Kiba! We're naked!"
"Woof!"
The next morning,
"Are you sure this will work?"
"It will."
"Why do I have to do all of....this?"
"It is considered polite."
"Really?"
"Yes. Now remember what you have to say. Don't be loud, take a mint, give her the flowers, smile, ask her if she is interested in going out on a date."
"If she refuses?"
"Man up. Smile again and apologize. Leave the place, not too fast but not too slowly. The first step is to show that you are not...excessively...interested."
"Huh?"
"Take it slow if she does accept. Be gentle and show her to her seat. Do try to avoid being cheesy. Akamaru is a good wingman, being the cute little pup that he is."
I pat the dog on his head and scratched behind his ear. He let out a joyful whine and moved his head closer.
Kiba smiled and took a deep breath to centre himself.
"This is your day Kiba." He breathed out and walked with less-than-elegant poise.
Let's throw canon into the bin, shall we?
I watched from some distance away as Kiba initiated conversation with Hinata who was walking towards the Academy.
That went rather well. Better than I expected. Maybe he is not as bad at this as I had initially thought.
Oh. Right. That was why.
Hinata is such a pushover. She accepted Kiba's 'request' because she didn't wnat to hurt his 'poor feelings'. Divines! She is too kind for this world.
I should not allow her to exist this way. Good defeats Evil. I won't allow any Good to exist.....
Meanwhile....
Location-????
Date-Irrelevant
"The tests have resulted in an outcome?"
"What outcome?"
"Cannot classify."
"Elaborate."
"Subject seems to have developed IT."
"Ah. How much longer until integration?"
"Just enough time."
.....
"Do it."
"Very well."
Back at Konoha....
"Great! I'll see you at the park later Hinata-chan!"
"O-okay?"
Kiba skipped back to me with a 1000 Watt smile on his face.
"It worked! It worked Ryu! You are the best!!"
'I know, mutt.'
"Maa, that was all you, Kiba. After all, no sweet maiden can resist YOU."
Good. Fatten him up before you cook him.
"Thanks! Oooh, I feel so good."
'Ugh...teenagers.'
"Of course you do." Kiba was already way into dreamland, not bothering with my caustic reply.