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My Cat Is My Dungeon Maid!?

🇺🇸SoupHarbinger
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Synopsis
Ren... That is the protagonists name. No last name as thats not important, well to him atleast. A deadbeat father and alcoholic mother dont bode well for a developing child. But one day, as a mercy his aunt bought a cat for Ren... Ren enjoys the cats presence, the cat was awfully clingy as well.. Even having a cute little tabby cat wouldnt save his emotional fortitude, being bullied at High School, being a gloomy, sulking, emotionless bastard? --- "I dont give a shit about dungeons or quests." Ren slips his head down on his desk, nearly falling asleep. "What if it made you some cash?" Just like that his head shoots up, eyes wide. "MONEY?!?!" ... "Eh your kinda like the keeper from dankest souls?" "What the hell does that mean Ren." [Cover art is not mine] [I am uploading this for a friend so if there are no updates dont blame me!)
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Chapter 1 - Emotionless bastard

[A/N

Hey its me, trying my hand at another original story, my bleach fic is probably gonna be on a long hiatus, probably until TYBW anime comes out so readers can follow along better. As for Miserable Wanderer, it will still be getting regularish updates, as per usual no harem.]

...

A young man lays his head down on a crusty looking desk, rolls of unkempt and wet bluish black hair flowing over onto the wooden boards that are poorly nailed together.

*snoring*

Many books, mainly biology and chemistry books lay around the youths face as drool slurps down the desk, soddening the pages of 'Biology of the world around us'

He lifts his head up in a stupor, his eyes slitted and struggling to stay open.

His wet hair flashes forward and a pair of headphones reveal themselves, hiding among the mop.

Ren wipes his eyes, tears dribbling down uncontrollably.

'Damn eyes, every night they pull this shit.'

His hand swipes back in forth, despite the river on his face his expression remains stone walled, like a man named Jackson he learned about in world history.

Ren peels his headphones back and slow music plays.

The irony is palpable, a man who claims to be and acts emotionless sitting with a nile of tears on his face while listening to Unravel by TK.

'Fucking music keeps lagging, how useless.'

He throws the headphones down furiously onto a bed with no sheets, the mattress growing brown and mildewy from time exposed to the leaking roof.

'every time it rains I get fucking soaked, atleast it lowers the water bill because I dont have to take a shower'

Ren purses his lips and shoves his nearly shoulder length hair aside.

He lays down in his bed and stares at the ceiling.

'Im definitely failing chemistry'

As Ren monologues to himself screaming can be heard throughout the apartment, but it doesnt seem to faze him as he closes his eyes to sleep.

"ETO YOU BITCH! THAT MONEY YOU SPENT ON SOJU WAS MY METH MONEY!"

A thin pale man, with the trademark bluish black hair screams at an older woman with green hair, her eyes are foggy and dazed. She smiles lovingly while being screamed at, as if she is in a world of her own. The world of course being whiskeyland.

Ren's father slaps Eto across the face, a red swelling appears on her eyes but she doesnt seem to care, instead she sits down on the couch, tidying her sundress before speaking.

"Hey darling look on the news, they hired a new anchorwoman."

Her soft but sloshed voice lets out the words slowly, as she is barely able to think without talking out loud, the articulation of words is a slow process.

"ETO YOU STUPID BITCH AND YOUR GAY LITTLE SON SO HELP ME GOD!"

"IM GONE, FOREVER YOU BITCH!"

The man slams open the door, holding a briefcase.

He opens it and makes sure everything is there, his heroin needles, his gun and most importantly a picture of a steamy girl from a bunny magazine.

He slams the door behind him and the sound of footsteps cascade through the raining, squeaking on the moist sidewalk. A light cackling appearing as the father finally reaches the curb and hails a cab.

Back up stairs in a small bed.

'Why cant I help but think my life is going down the gutter, maybe I should end it all. Eh, a ropes too painful and I don't have a gun, even im not so stupid to make myself suffer in my last moments, Id rather die with a meaningless expression, dying with the look of agony on your face really sets off my peeves, maybe if more people were placid when they died then death wouldn't be as meaningful.'

Finally Ren closes his eyes and falls asleep, awaiting whatever fresh hell he will have to see tomorrow.

----

"Do you have the drugs Sasaki?"

A man in a hockey mask stands, holding a cane with barbed wire wrapped onto it, even in a trenchcoat his muscles cant be contained.

Sasaki, a young man with blonde hair trembles at the sight of his so called boss.

"S-sir, I will get them soon, I swear!'

A haggard breath comes from the masked man

"Sorry doesnt change anything Sasaki-chan. Do you know what happens when you cross the orochi?"

Sasaki tries to run backwards but falls awkwardly, his knees trembling too much to bear the weight of his figure.

The masked assailant smashes the cane down, a silhouette of crimson flashes on the brick wall of the alleyway.

"Son of a whore."

The masked man wipes the cane with his white gloves, staining them a deep crimson yet the man doesnt seem to care about dirtying them.

"Tsk tsk, we need better men nowadays, cowards die in one strike."

-----

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

'Shut the fuck up'

Ren slams his fist down on his flip phone, yes an ancient piece of tech given to him, as it was written in his grandpa's will.

Yet its the most expensive thing he owns.

He stands up and ruffles his hair and puts his glasses on.

Small rounded spectacles cover his azure eyes as clothing is thrown about, he finally finds his school uniform and slips into it, spraying febreeze all over to mask the fact that the uniform hasnt been washed in days.

The uniform consists of a brown plain jacket and an undershirt that is a light grey, across the back of the jacket the name of the school is stamped.

"FS Tokyo Tech"

Ah yes, the shittiest school in Tokyo where fighting is religion and studying is sacrilege.

Despite the battlefield like environment Ren tries to remain as a shadow and get good grades, but he does get sereal bullied by a few wannabe yakuza members, a fat hog and skinny pete as he calls them.

Ren does not care enough to know their real names of course.

He walks past his past out mother and grabs his bag, he slams the door behind him just as his father did, but sadly he actually has to return to this shitcrick.

Ren paces down the street until hitting a bus stop, there he waits for awhile until a bus arrives.

He steps on and the bus driver, a skinny old man with a bright smile and white cap greets him.

"Ren, you look disheveled as always, your stop is FS Tech I imagine."

Ren solemnly nods, putting on a fake smile for a few seconds and handing the old man a bus token, a simple small wooden medallion given to all the students.

Ren takes his seat at the back of bus, making sure not to bump into the heavily muscled Mongolian transfer student that he saw nearly kill a kid a couple days ago.

Ren sighs and opens up a book, a simple novel about a serial killer that only preys on sketchy kids, the book being titled 'The Punkisher'.

"Hey Ren-san, why are your eyelids so red again?"

A girl pops her head over a seat and stares, her bobcut orange hair shakes violently from the gusts of the open window to her right.

"Oh Chisaki. Please leave me alone."

The girl, Chisaki puffs her cheeks and spats at Ren.

"Emotionless bastard, wont talk to anyone."

A few other girls chime in and just like that Ren is left alone to read his corny book.

After awhile the bus comes to a halt.

Ren makes his way off and the scent of fresh cigarette smoke enters his lungs.

A heavily spray painted building with a lawn of overgrown and patchy grass, FS Technical High school.

Many guys in wife beaters casually smoke and sit with women, most of the men seeming way to old for HS, and for the teenage girls they are trying to hookup with.

Ren puts headphones on as usual and waits for the daily occurrence he likes to call the wake up call.

The main doors to the school open and a heavily muscled goliath of a man in a suit walks out with a cigar in his mouth, he gracefully spits the cigar out and screams.

"STUDENTS, REPORT TO CLASS... OR DIE! MWAHAHAHA!"

The junkies scatter and the girls squeak and gather their things and run off.

The headmaster, Mr.Kuzon is the only thing keeping this school from being shutdown.

From professional Jiu Jitsu practitioner to ex convict and then finally school principal.

Everyone, even the real yakuza member fear that man.

For every word he says may be comical and all for good fun. But he is a real killer, and a damn good one.

Ren walks forward but before he reaches the main building a hand grips him.

A greasy hand.

The hand of a fat hog.

He turns and sees a tall kid with a buzzcut and black tshirt, a shit eating grin plasters his face.

"Tsk tsk, Ren-sama you need your daily beating!"

Skinny pete comes from his shadow, holding a lighter in his fist.

"Oi Ren, know what happens when you get face punched by someone with a lighter in their hand?"

Skinny pete licks his lips.

His shaggy brown hair unwavering, just like the blood lust in his eyes.

"No, now get your hand off me fat hog."

"YOU BASTARD!"

Skinny Pete slams his fist into Rens face, nearly shattering his glasses and instantly knocking the frail boy out.

'damn it went all black again.'

Skinny Pete stands mortified

"Di-did I kill em' on accident?"

Fat hogs mouth opens wide.

"Lets get the fuck outta here before shit hits the fan!"

And so Ren lays unconscious by a bunch of meth spoons and used condoms in the yard of his beloved Highschool