His embrace tightened "I can't be like him" on cue, his voice cracks. I can hear his heartbeat, gentle soft beats invite my ears. We are both human, both deserving. I'm not the only broken one, I look up and sympathetically smile. I glance up and look at those once icy blue eyes, that have now turned troubled. They are filled up with tears, that I've caused. The past I made him dig up, the agonizing trouble he's been through. That's all because of me, the same stubborn person who loves him.
He doesn't deserve this, the strain of being mine. I know what it feels like to be trapped and you can't escape. No matter how hard you scream or pull, you're held down in place. You have nowhere to go, you just flow along the rest of society. The emptiness doesn't disappear, it builds up until it all spills over. The outcome surfaces to live and taunts you nonstop.
I want to look away, or run like I always do but I'm stuck in place. Cement is tied onto my feet, forcing me to look up.
I orchestrated this, the heartbreak, the suffering. This must change or this feeling will return, and occupy my thoughts. Conquer my lifestyle, it will slowly chip away at my metal health. I've lost it once and I couldn't take it.
At last, the tightness in my chest releases, I steadily grab his hand. Assurance is something we both need, even if it's not said. I embrace it, words don't need to be said. I understand everything he wants to say.
I shall keep everything in, they can't, no they won't see flaws. I shouldn't trouble him anymore, I care too much.
My lip slightly quivers, I'm cold to the touch. However, his kindness warms me up. The passion of his love radiates to me. I place my head on his shoulder, and take it all in. The slight mist of musty April day, it hazes up my vision. I take a deep breath, inhaling his cologne, not wanting him the warm feeling to leave.
This feeling, is something I wish I had a long time ago. When I lost in a sea of people who loved me. When life was so horrible I was willing to leave. To a more peaceful place, where I could breathe again. Thoughts aside, I shouldn't be selfish about this. I still have Nate to worry about. But all I could think about is this moment, this special moment.