Isha stayed silent the entire way home. Usually he was silent anyway, but this time was different. He was with someone after all. Isha had left the sunglasses behind, but he didn't really care, he didn't feel like worrying about them right now.
"I'm a human… A human…." He mumbled to himself, staring down at the ground.
Rose kept her silence as well, patting his head as she remained on his shoulders, pretending to not hear him. Being apart of him, she was able to view how everything felt. When he got to the apartment building, he slowly opened the door, still shaking a little. Going up the steps he teetered a bit, fiddling with the key and lock as it was a bit difficult for him to open.
When he got in, Rose got off of him as he fell onto the couch and curled up a bit. The taste and stench of blood still lingered, his hands still feeling warm.
"I'll make tea okay?" Rose patted Isha as he lay there and went to put a kettle on the stove.
"I thought you couldn't separate from me." He inquired her, trying to distract himself.
"This apartment is my domain. I can freely roam here whether I possess you or not. Or whether you possess me or not." She answered, putting tea bags in the kettle.
"What flavor?" Isha asked, watching her from the couch. He watched her use her supernatural powers to get the tea as she wouldn't be able to reach it normally.
"One of your stress relieving ones. The blue box." Isha nodded at her words as she turned around and walked over to him while the water boiled.
"How do I do the force thing." He rolled over to his back and sat up a bit for her. She sat on the cushion he left or her, swinging her feet a bit.
"Either I'll teach you, or you'll find out naturally, whichever comes first." Rose replied, giving him a smug look. "It is very useful though." Isha rolled his eyes at her.
"I know that. I mean you took a knife out of my hand." She smirked at his comment. "You said the lid flew at you though?" Rose nodded as Isha sat up a bit more.
"That's why I said whether I teach you or you find out yourself." She leaned against his legs. "So what are we doing tomorrow?" She asked him, stretching out a bit.
"I… don't know. I don't want to face Mr. Ilan and May… I don't think they'll notice…." He stared up at the ceiling.
"Mr. Ilan will notice an increase of power. Maybe not May, but he should as an ex exorcist. So we tell him a low level demon attacked us and I wanted you to experience the taste and such if he asks." She told him, Isha nodded as the kettle let out a hiss. "Ah! I'm coming!"
Rose hopped up from the couch, using her powers to bring forth two cups, picking the kettle up with her hands and pouring the tea. She set the kettle on the counter and walked back toward the couch, blowing on both cups as she walked.
She handed one to Isha and this time sat on the edge near his stomach, causing him to scooch back a bit as she repositioned herself. Isha blew on his cup again and watched the steam rise before taking a sip, his hands still a bit shaky.
"So wanna talk?" Rose asked. "About how your feeling that is." She looked at Isha, her head tilted.
"Can't you see that yourself?" He replied, taking another sip. Rose shook her head.
"I can see things after you think him, however as I said earlier you can block me from seeing things. You're subconsciously blocking me. Mainly because you're trying to block yourself. But something like this… it's not good to try and bury, so talk. Was it just the killing? The eating? Are you worried about losing your humanity?" She asked him, a bit in a rapid-fire way.
Isha set his tea on the coffee table as he started to shake more, shaking his head no. He was quiet for a bit looking at the tea in his cup, watching the steam.
"I… I am worried about losing my humanity… It is part of me despite what I said earlier… and there's taking a life… but mainly… I…. I enjoyed it…" He started to hug himself as Rose pat his chest gently.
"I wasn't sure… how I'd feel…. I thought, or rather hoped I'd not care… just view it as something necessary… even if I hated it, I would have rather hated it… But I enjoyed it." Tears started to flow as he broke down. "I even almost lost control… I'm scared I'll hurt May… Or Mr. Ilan… What if I attack a kid? Will I enjoy that too? The feeling of blood… the snap of his neck… I enjoyed it… The feeling of being stronger than him…"
Rose set her cup down and got closer to him, attempting to soothe him.
"I just turned… and yet I already enjoy taking a life… just what kind of monster am I? I feel like myself, but at the same time… I felt like that part of me was hidden… what if that's the true me? What if I just snap and never come back… I don't want that to happen…" He began to hiccup as Rose started to hug him.
"Hey, it's okay. You just weren't use to the feeling of a soul, and your taste buds changed too. I should have had you start off differently, I'm sorry Isha. It was my fault." She stroked the back of his head as he slowly began to calm down.
Isha didn't normally tell anyone how he felt. This comforting thing was new to him, it was pleasant. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and then hugged her tight. After a bit, his tears began to let up, down to just the heavy breathing.
"I'm… sorry…" Isha mumled to Rose.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's okay Isha." She kept stroking his head and back gently.
"Let's get you clothes tomorrow… with my paycheck…" Rose froze for a bit at Isha's suggestion, pulling away and looking at the puffy eyed young man.
"Are you sure?" She asked, furrowing her brow as she tilted her head. Isha nodded and wiped his eyes, smiling softly.
"You wanna be out in the open more right? Plus, it's a bit difficult to find out where to look at you with that ripped up clothing… Plus I think your missing some things normal girls usually wear." Isha replied, grabbing his tea again and bringing it to his lips.
"Oh? Well then should I tell you what I want?" An impish smile etched onto her face as she asked him. Isha shook his head.
"You'll need to try things on. I have some old clothes you can try tomorrow." Her impish smile turned into a soft one as she hugged him again.
"I'll take you up on it then." Isha nodded his head.
"Also I want to see that room of yours tomorrow." He added, Rose nodding her head.
"A bit rude to demand to see a maiden's room, but sure." Isha scoffed at her words.
"Yeah yeah… Anyways, it's time for bed." He finished his tea and got up, stumbling a bit. Truth was, despite talking to Rose, he didn't feel fully confident. But he had to push through, right? He let out a small sigh and went towards the bedroom, turning off the lights.
"Hey what are you doing?!" Rose exclaimed as he had begun to change into pjs.
"You said you've watched me for two years. Why does it matter now?" Isha replied to her, continuing to change.
"You're aware of me now!" She exclaimed back at him.
"So? Nothings really changed." He finished dressing as Rose crossed her arms and huffed. Isha shut the lights off and laid down in bed, tucking himself in.
Rose appeared under the covers beside him, laying her head on his pillow.
"Rose. This is a small bed." Isha replied as Rose lay atop him.
"That's why I'm on you and not the bed." She stated, a playful tone in her voice.
"Yeah yeah…" Isha sighed, staring at the ceiling. Glancing at where she was, her pink eyes were easily visible. Isha sighed again and went to sleep, Rose getting more comfortable as he drifted.