"Huh?!" I blurted out, confused and unsure where such a topic was suddenly brought up from.
Phil chuckled at my blatant confusion. He turned his gaze towards me, waiting for an answer.
Flustered, I turned red. Unsure how to answer. Was this Phil's confession, telling me he wanted kids? My mind raced with so many scenarios that I became dizzy.
"Are you alright?" He brought up his hand to touch my head, making me jolt in surprise.
"Yes?!" I squeaked, backpedaling until I tripped.
With one fluid motion, Phil grabbed me by my arms. He yanked me into his warm embrace, filling me up with a soft feeling of home. It never hit me until now that his embrace became a safety net for my mind, soul, and body. This feeling of sanctuary was powerful, almost difficult to stash away from bubbling up from my heart.
"I think you might need to rest." Phil sighed, picking me up into his arms.
I squealed. "What are you doing?!" I yelled, shocked at his bold move.
"Taking you somewhere to rest." He bluntly replied, walking quickly through the crowd. Eventually finding a small shade under a tree. With a plop, he sat down with me still in his arms.
Throughout the whole time, I didn't dare to move for fear of falling. I know it sounded stupid, but falling from his arm sounded like it would hurt. Not only that, he was holding me tight, which made it difficult to move.
"That's better." Phil let out a satisfying sight, reaching over to push back my hair.
Heavy silence was apparent in both of us. I wanted to answer Phil's question, but at the same time, I knew I never thought about kids in the first place.
"I had thought about kids many times in the past." Phil's voice went off into the distance. "I honestly do not like them."
"Why?" I cut in. He stared into my eyes.
"Because…" Phil went silent, averting his gaze away. "I am not good with children."
"Is that all?" I pouted. That was a lame excuse for a reason.
"Well, no."
"Then?"
Phil sighed. His eyes darkened as he recalled his old memories. "I have told you that my parents died, but they didn't love their parents."
I nodded, engrossed in his storytelling. The thought of him not having a "normal" loving family wasn't what I had envisioned. From the amount of sufferings he had in the past and his immense dislike for the Elven race, I understood there was some strife somewhere down the line.
"My mother…..was cold to me. I never felt a warm embrace from her as she abhorred the thought of the union between man and elf."
I was dumbstruck by what he had said. "What? Why? Wasn't the union between the two races supposed to bring peace?"
"Yes and no." He shook his head. His demeanor changed cold as his voice dropped an octave down. "My father was a lovestruck idiot. My mother never loved my father."
An "O" formed from my lips. A typical romance story? I wasn't sure, but such a thought popped into my head. Maybe I was reading too much of them, but I do love a good romantic story. From the way this was going, my thoughts raced with a tragic ending.
"Then why did she agree to marry?"
"Politics."
"Oh."
Phil shrugged his shoulder. "Either way, their first union, they had me. But after that, my mother would turn my father away. I remember her exact words….'I have completed my deal with you of having your child. Now let me free."
My jaw dropped, realizing what his mother said. For a child to hear that from his mother's mouth could be mind-numbing, especially knowing that his mother and father didn't love each other and did it out of wedlock.
"My father... he couldn't bear to lose her and kept her cage her whole life. The strife between them turns into an unquenchable toxic relationship, becoming a festering wound. At times, my father would hit me in rage, saying how I reminded him of his mother. From there, it went down into a dark spiral...wishing that they would both disappear." His voice went into a whisper, his eyes glazed over.
I could feel the pain from Phil's words as he squeezed me a little tighter.
"Miraculously as my wish was granted, they both died on that fateful night." He hissed with a low growl that was close to anger and despair. "They were murdered."
"What?!" I almost bolted out of his arms to stand up, but Phil gripped me tight, making this impossible to do. Settling down, I cast my gaze at him.
"Who would dare?"
"My father."
I went silent, completely shell shocked by what I just heard.
"One could say that when my father heard of my mother's secret lover, he went crazy. While my mother confessed, she did have someone she loved, and it wasn't my father. Such mind-blowing words destroyed my father's heart, putting him into a fury of rage and hatred. He stabbed her in the heart and killed himself right after. It wasn't until later that I found my father's letter, stating the guilt of killing my mother was something he regretted and wished that he could undo. It wasn't until later down the line, I found a message of my mother's diary stashed away in a hidden compartment next to her jeweled case. There I have found that she was threatened to tell a lie. A lie so deep, she had no choice but to state it to my father over and over again."
I was a bit reluctant to hear what it was. The thought of a lie to cause a family to rip apart and even cause so much pain was horrible. My lips quivered, just asking him what came next.
"The Elven Council." He spat with disgust. "A group of them threatened her."
"You serious?" I was appalled at the audacity that the elves had. Honestly, I thought all elves were respectful and honorable. Maybe I was over-dramatizing them to think they were some high social creatures assuming such thought was a bad idea.
"Yes, and when I find them." With a low animalistic growl, he snarled. Heavy power subtly echoed outwards, making me shiver. It wasn't often to see him so heated over something, and this was one of them.
At first, I stood there, silent. Unable to do anything. The oppressive power from Phil made me gulp, but I steeled my heart. Raising up my own power to match his to cancel out the damaging effect. Anyone near us scuttled away from total fear, knowing full well that if anyone approached them, they would die.
I raised up my hands to reach over. Gently, I patted Phil's head.
Phil's snapped out of his dazed expression, staring at me straight in the eye. All the oppressive energy disappeared, a soft gaze was replaced. His hand reached up, bringing down my hand to his lips and gently kissed it.
"Thank you, Berry."
"Your welcome," I replied. "So, is that why you don't like kids?"
"Yes, I'm afraid that I would become like my father."
We sat in the shade for a while, unable to speak any further but to silently wait. I just couldn't think of anything to refute and tell Phil straight in the fact that he won't be like him. Hell, it's not like we were going to get married or something. I didn't think THAT far ahead.
But to hear a little piece of himself made me happy as I got closer to knowing who he was. There were many times when he got on my nerves, but I blew those aside.
Eventually, we stood there in the warm summer breeze until the sunset, letting the warm light warm our bodies. Both getting up, we left hand-in-hand as we went back to our rooms.