Ayden had found himself the spot near a tree. Irene was gone but he could not move. His mind kept replaying the unfortunate incidents that had happened in his life, especially concerning Irene.
That day, their relationship had hit another low and while his throat choked to admit that what he did was wrong, his heart could not just stop aching.
With that new guy's arrival in Irene's life, Ayden's life was truly shattered. Despite their recent conversation, the hope in his heart had not died. It was alive, somewhere in the deepest corners of his heart that someday, she might be again his but it no longer seemed possible.
"Why did you have to go so far from me, Irene? Why did you have to go so far from where bringing you back seems impossible?" His voice cracked but he could not be bothered about it. Besides, he had no reason to worry about it. There was nobody there to witness his vulnerable side that he struggled to show to people.
"I know, you are doubtful of my love now. I know it and I don't think I can blame you for it either but let me be honest… it hurts. It hurts so much."
Talking to his own-self was not lightening but he had nobody else to pour his heart out to.
It began snowing but he did not get up rather just sat there, embracing the snow like the darkness that had embraced his life.
<>
"He is my ex-boyfriend," Irene said, after exhaling a deep breath where she hesitated if to make Ilyan aware of the things or not.
"Oh okay." Ilyan slightly nodded his head, intently listening to what she was sharing.
"We recently broke up. He didn't want to and now he does not want to accept it. He has some insecurity issues. That's why he uttered all of that nonsense stuff to you. I apologize to you on his behalf." She sighed, hating the need to verbalize about Ayden's insecurities.
She would never talk about them to anyone but she thought that Ilyan needed to know to understand.
"That's alright. I understand. I did not resist when he was trying to… um… I guess threaten me… for a reason. I understand where his insecurities are coming from. That's fine." Ilyan was being honest with his opinion.
That was when Irene remembered that he was not lying. She went back to the incident in her mind and recalled that Ilyan was really just standing and letting Ayden do what he wanted to. It wasn't until she stepped in; Ilyan had to use his hands to get Ayden off because he did not want her to get hurt. His words, asking her to stay away and be careful, were still fresh in her mind.
What could she possibly say next? She did not know.
"I think he needs help." Ilyan made sure that those words were spoken in a feeble voice, understanding the sensitivity of the matter.
"What do you mean?" Irene was playing naïve even though she knew where he was referring to but she was kind of caught off-guard with his sudden statement.
"I think you know what I mean."
"I… uh… fine. I do and I have tried but it's beyond me." Her head fell back on the couch and she let it stay there for a while before she pulled herself together to face Ilyan's suggestion.
"Ah… yeah, I understand. It's always tough." He gestured her not to get herself worked up over it.
"Relationships with such strong insecurities could be really unhealthy at times. Maybe you two can get back together after he learns and gets better."
"We are over." She held his gaze for a moment or two before averting it from him. It was a quick response that came out harsh. If Ayden had his insecurities, then she had hers too and there was no way she could go back to him, that day, the next day or any other day for that matter.
"Oh, that's alright too." He flashed a supportive smile. Her downcast saddened eyes affected him. "I know I asked you to talk but maybe we should not do it today. You are clearly getting upset."
As much as he wanted to help ease her pain a little, he could see that she was exhausted enough for the day.
"I am used to getting upset." She was probably going to regret dropping the intimate bits of life to him later but at that moment, she did not mind because she was not thinking about it.
"Oh… um… I am sorry to hear that. I hope someday, you will be used to being happy."
"Eh, I don't know. Maybe… but thanks! I appreciate it."
"Honestly, I hate to see you suffering," he spoke, with conspicuous sincerity in his eyes but the next moment, he got himself trapped in the realistic doubt. "Did I overstep my bounds? I am sorry if I did."
"No, you didn't and you won't, I know." She assured, with a soft smile that graced her lips after several long minutes.
That came as a surprise to him. He probably wasn't expecting that. "How do you know that I won't?"
"You don't really need years to understand someone. At least not everyone does. At least not always! Sometimes, a couple of encounters are enough. There is this unsaid trust that I have in you. That's how I know."
"Wow… um okay. That makes me glad but I think I really need to say this. Be careful because people can wear a dual face. You should not put blind trust in people. You don't know me. I mean you do but you know what am I trying to say? I knew who you were on the day I met you on the road. You, letting me help was still okay, but you letting me drop you home could have been a potentially dangerous decision had there been someone else in my place. Someone with malicious intentions. Just think what someone can do with your address."
"Be honest, Ilyan. I know I have bored you and you want me to ask you to leave. Don't make such lame excuses."
He face-palmed, not expecting the kind of reply that he had got. "No, that's not what I meant."
She could not hold her laugh seeing how seriously he had taken it. "Just kidding. I know what you mean. I have had my share of lessons. I have had my trust broken but then, I know it is wrong to see everyone through the same lenses. I would say, it works very differently for me. I tend to rely on my instincts a lot of times and I have got my own ways which include observations to figure out who I can trust and frankly, you wouldn't be sitting here and I wouldn't be talking to you if I didn't trust you. I personally believe it's not cool to think everyone is the same and shut yourself from the world out of the fear of getting hurt."
Quite rarely, she had opened up to people about her perspectives toward things in her life. She had no reason to. Since Ilyan had touched the topic, she had got the chance to reveal why she did what she did.
"It's not that I haven't made the wrong choices. I have and I suffer because of them and that's okay but I still take chances with the people I think are the right ones. And I think you are the right one."