She wished she had memories she could adore.
She wished she had a childhood she could cherish.
She wiped the lone tear by the back of her forefinger before it could roll down.
Before she could dwell in her past more, the shrill ring of her phone caught her attention. She passionately disliked the ringtone. She had kept it all along because... Ayden loved it.
Shrugging away that thought, she walked into her room to attend her phone. Her eyes narrowed a bit on glancing at the unknown number flashing on her phone's screen on her bed.
Unknown numbers did not grace her too often and that was why, when that night one did, she was bound to wonder who it was.
She lay on her bed, clearing her throat. Her small crying session must not be heard by anyone. "Hello."
Nobody spoke from the other end.
'Weird.' She thought to herself. "Who is this?"
"What's wrong?"
"Ilyan?" She would be lying if she was not taken aback to hear his voice. Why the heck did he call her?
"You know, when you call someone, you are supposed to say 'hello' and introduce yourself if your number is not saved in that someone's phone." She brought herself in a sitting position. A soft smile automatically graced her pale face.
"What's wrong?"
Hearing him repeating his words, she rolled her eyes. "Did you even listen to what I said?" What was wrong with this boy? His tone was unusually serious, mirroring his intense eyes back on the road when she had escaped getting hurt by the car.
"Are you okay?"
"What the f..." She pulled the phone away from her ear and banged it on the bed twice in sheer irritation.
She got it back to her ear. "Yes, I am fine. Did you call to ask me if I am okay or not?" She couldn't help the sarcastic tone that came out which she was not too glad about.
"You sound like you were crying."
That one particular line froze her momentarily. 'How the heck this guy knows everything!' She had no clue.
"Do I? But I was not crying. Why would I cry?" She forced a laugh while trying to shrug that away but he did not seem convinced.
"While I do not know what is wrong, I know... something is," Ilyan spoke from the other end, his voice unwavering, giving away that he held confidence in what he said.
"Haha. Erm, why did you call?" Irene made a lame attempt to divert the topic. She would call it lame because she knew that he knew. She sighed.
"I am on my terrace."
"And you called me to tell me that you are on your terrace?" She laughed. "What's the relevance?"
"Walk up. Get on your terrace."
She pushed herself out of bed right when he uttered that. By then, she was completely puzzled. She could not understand what he was up to and what was going on in his mind.
"What? Why?" she asked, looking for her slippers that she seemed to have misplaced.
"Just do as I say."
She was about the yell in the phone at the sheer frustration that he was causing her but somehow held herself back. She appreciated the concern she heard in his voice when he was asking her what was wrong but he was being awfully weird and that was irking her up.
"Why can't you just tell me why do you want me to do that? It's dark out there. What if ghosts kill me? What if somebody kidnaps me?" She let out a silent chuckle at her own made-up statements.
"You are too valorous to be scared of them. Now, come on, be quick."
She slapped her forehead. 'Just how much does this guy know!'
"Fine." She agreed. Of course, rather than waiting and pestering him to tell her what it was, she would rather just do what he was asking for. Latter would make her find out more quickly.
She caught the glimpse of her slippers that were under her bed, almost at the edge. She slipped her feet in them and made her way toward the terrace.
She was up there within two minutes. "Alright. I am here. Tell me what it is now."
"What do you see around?"
Had he not helped her twice, she would have just hung up on him or anyone else for that matter at that time.
She was not in the right frame of mind. She was not in the mood to have a conversation with anyone either. And she was most definitely not willing to answer the stupid questions that she was being asked.
"Darkness," she answered anyway. She supported the phone with her shoulder between it and her ear as she took a moment to rub her arms with her palms. The air was pretty cold.
"Look at the moon."
Her head involuntarily raised at the full moon in the sky and the countless stars surrounding it. That was when she realized, darkness wasn't the all that was around her but until she looked at the moon, she felt that it was only darkness.
The moonlight shone like an enlightenment light for her.
"So, here I ask again. What do you see around you?"
She had almost forgotten in the surreal beauty of the sky that he was on the line until she heard him.
She stayed quiet, pondering over Ilyan and his gestures. Especially his words. It was incredibly unrealistic how he knew what she needed to hear.
"We have a lot of things around us. Good. Bad. Great. Ugly. Focussing your gaze on the ugly thing makes you feel that life is ugly because then your vision is captured by the ugly thing. We often forget that there are good things around us too. Because you have an ugly past does not mean that your whole life is going to be ugly. Shift your gaze to the other things around you and you will know... life still has a lot of good things to offer."
Irene stood spellbound, letting her system process every word he had just uttered.
She had no idea what impression she had left upon him for him to feel the need to say it to her and she had no idea when she would be able to admit it to him that she was grateful to him for the same.
"Ilyan... I... thank you," she murmured in a barely audible voice.
It was weird. She had met him not more than twice and yet, it felt like, he had known her for years.
Was it even realistic for someone you have hardly been around for not more than an hour to understand your unsaid words and unspoken feelings?