"As a general rule,
the most successful man in life
is the one with the most information."
-Benjamin Disraeli
"And why do I have to wear this suit in particular? I hate skin-tight suits, mind you," Zero eyed the suit that had been mysteriously tailored to his exact size with a look of disgust. "It clashes badly with my hair too. You know how much I spent to have this styled?! Most money than you'll ever see in your sad little life, that's what! It's not just a fashion nightmare to make me wear this, it's a sin! S-I-N!"
Deku just stared at him, pondering over his life choices.
He was regretting this decision of his to recruit the man even more now, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
"And you complained that I talked a lot... Haaa... Zero, wear the suit and shut up. Or else you can kiss your money goodbye."
The man, who had still been droning around in the background about his money and his hair, took a sudden 180-degree turn, as he stood ramrod straight with cold sweat sliding down his back. Gray was wheezing in the mind space at the sight, whereas he felt mysteriously (even more so than usual) cold and empty. Perhaps sensing his cold gaze, the official comedic support character's mouth twitched in unease as his eyes took a disturbing turn to the gruff man's best intimidation of puppy eyes.
The sight of the forty-something-year-old murderous, muscular man peering up at him with puppy eyes...
Not just him, even the literal piece of sentient lightning—without a body, mind you—wanted to puke.
Closing his eyes with a sigh, he massaged his temples, doing his very best to delete the image from his mind.
"...By the time I open my eyes again, you better damn well cease your behavior. I can... appreciate-," He shuddered, but continued on. "-the thought of destressing before an operation, but we all just had lunch and I might actually puke. In the first place, only you and I are going (Gray as well, of course) so such measures are hardly necessary, don't you think?"
He opened his eyes to a pouting, but much more serious man with eyes as cold as ice.
(Of course, that ice never actually went away. He was a cold-blooded killer, after all. Ice of a slightly different nature resided within his own eyes as well. It was just that Zero actually bothered to hide that ice at times.)
"Man, I don't know whether you've gained a sense of humor or you're just a stick in the mud~!" He smirked, arms threaded and stretching with a pop behind his back. "And to answer your question, the last impression I had of you was a little shivering virgin boy who hadn't had his first blood yet. Murder looks good on you, by the way."
Eying the atrocious nest of hair on his head styled in a way reminiscent of a bird nest with eggs inside, or perhaps a cherry suspended in an empty bowl, he (somehow) found himself doubting that last statement. Somehow.
(He ignored the part of him that was disgusted at being complimented by a serial killer. He didn't really have that right, after all, as a serial killer himself, albeit lesser in scale than the beast in front of him.)
He eyed the still unoccupied suit forgotten in Zero's grasp, paying no mind to his words.
The best way to interact with the idiot before him was to ignore the barbs; he'd only get engaged in pointless conversation, and he didn't quite know how he'd react if the man tried to prod at him in different ways than insinuating things, even if they were true.
...He was fairly convinced he was asexual anyway, lacking any sort of hormonal urge when it came to women (or men?), and the thought of being close enough for that kind of intimacy made him... disturbed, for the lack of a better term. Unsafe. The act itself seemed impure, anyway. No matter how certain you were that you loved someone and you were loved in turn, lust was one of the 7 sins.
It was an inherently risky territory, and his instincts screamed at the line of thought. Indeed, the chance for ulterior motives was much too high.
(He was too broken anyway. Any relationship would only leave them both cut by the shards.)
Regardless, he had gotten off-track again.
"You have five minutes; get in the suit and be ready by then."
And that was that.
The duo now stood outside of a white compound in the middle of nowhere, the "onesey" suits covered their entire body. It was further adorned with regular clothes on top, though, of course. Looking suspicious was hardly a pro with their newest operation. The parts covering their hands were disguised as gloves and alongside the hairnets hidden in their hats (yeah, Zero had thrown as big of a fuss as you could imagine, although it was likely he understood exactly what the suits and fine hairnets were for at that point, so it wasn't as obnoxious as it could have been) they were officially ready for their newest adventure.
Ready in a way that they wouldn't leave their DNA everywhere, of course.
"...I don't think I've said this before, but you really do have balls of steel, kid-"
Deku flashed an Access Pass that he had pocketed from All Might during the whole hospital fiasco as a toolbox clunked behind him.
The fortress was silent for a moment, the security camera peering at them in suspicion. Deku smiled underneath his cap.
"-to waltz into Tartarus just like this. And hell, it's actually working too. What the fuck."
"It's designed to keep people from getting out; getting in is naturally inversely easier. Even then, I had to risk a lot to get this pass, as well as using up a perfectly good favor. Asking a guard to purposefully damage the pipes costs a pretty penny also. Even then... I'd give it a good 25 minutes before they realize the truth. We'll have to get out before then-"
Whining from a lack of use, the door opened a few seconds later, a guard eyeing them with abject indifference before twisting his head in what could have only been a signal of 'follow me'.
Deku hissed at Zero to 'Act Natural' under his breath, and Zero quickly adopted a nondescript attitude, slipping seamlessly behind Deku as if he had every right to be in this building and more. Honestly, he probably did, with all his crimes and everything else he had committed in his lifetime... Although Zero probably wouldn't appreciate that insinuation. Disregarding all the jokes that could be made, however, it was rather impressive how good the fellow's acting skills were. Not that Deku's were any lesser; in fact, some might have argued that he was better.
Something about him was just easily dismissed and not worthy of attention.
His presence was as faint as a ghost's. In fact, it seemed a bit impossible that this was just solely acting.
Zero seemed to notice it too, as his eyes sharpened almost unnoticeably.
(In truth, the nature of Deku, as it was now, made him more dead than alive. He could disguise it, just like Zero could disguise his ice, but when it did slip through, it was undeniable. He was, truly, a dead man walking, searching for the one thing that would make his paradox of a being right again. Unless something changed, death was the only cure for him now. The death of himself and the death of another so fatally similar that they could only clash to the death.
Funnily enough, they'd both be doing each other a favor if they perished. They might as well have been one and the same, after all.)
Regardless, no one said anything as they made their way down the halls.
This wasn't the place, after all.
"Okay, fix the pipes down here, and your job will be done. I'll be just around the corner," He pointed to a little office, fellow guards grinning and playing poker visible through the little window. "So just go over there when you're done. Oh, and don't touch those doors no matter what you do."
They followed his line of sight to a set of particularly big doors, dual, no, triple-enforced with pure, cold steel.
Deku would bet that the material it was made out of was particularly quirk resistant, although whether it was enough to stop Zero was one thing they were here to test.
The guard yawned. Clearly, the monotony of his job and seeing it daily had dulled his amazement quite a bit.
"Haa... So yeah, if you touch it, you'll get a whole bunch of sealed quirks shot at you. Ha, you'd probably get frostbite too from touching it. The rooms themselves are purposely chilled to a very low temperature; everyone knows that cold impedes quirks, with concentration and all that; everyone but mutant types, in fact, although we have special cells for those bastards."
They did nothing but nod.
Truthfully, neither of them had much knowledge of engineering besides the surface level stuff, so the less they opened their mouths, the better.
"Don't talk much, huh?.. Anyway, I'll be where I pointed out to you earlier. Best of luck."
The guard then walked back to the party room, eagerly joining in on the poker match.
It was doubtful if he'd even remember this encounter tomorrow, and that was exactly what Deku and Zero, by extension, were hoping for.
Deku cracked his fingers.
"Well then, time to see if your quirk works through these doors, Zero. My contact has already made the resident quirk senser a drunk mess; he won't be conscious until morning."
He turned his gaze toward Zero, who was already smirking.
"Run wild."
AN: Fun chapter, huh? I ended up adding some chapters on top of my original plan, but now we're getting back on projected territory~