Hello everyone sorry I haven't posted a chapter in a while I have been busy these last few months. So I am now a sophomore and I am going into the 3rd quarter. Everyone is still nice to me and I get along with everyone just fine. Though some things did happen that hurt me and my best friend a lot. I guess I should start off with what happend during the summer after my freshmen year. So me and my family were going on vacation to Tennessee in this really nice big house. So we also invited my two brothers girlfriends and my best friend to come. My dad however invited some family from his side to also come which everyone else disagreed with but he did it anyway. Now we were staying in Tennessee for a week and the first two days were good but the rest weren't good at all. That's when my dad decided to make it his sides vacation instead of our the people who paid for it. Also my eldest brothers girlfriend did my makeup one morning and as soon as I saw my dad and sat down for breakfast with everyone else. He said real loud so everyone could hear that my makeup made me look like a slut. Now it was light makeup the only thing that might have been heavy was the eyeliner. I also know I shouldn't have been upset about this but I still have bottled up emotions inside so after I quickly ate my breakfast I went outside on the deck and sat on a swing and the tears just started going. I couldn't stop crying and it was because I thought no matter what my dad would always be there for me and not call me mean names that would remind me of my past. I know some of you may thing I was overdramatic but I was and still am traumatized by what happend to me at my old school. You would also think that your parent would not call you names in front of everyone embarrassing you and make you feel like crap. He reminded me of my past which made me upset he reminded me of all of those hateful people making fun of me. Also to top it off he later came out on the deck and yelled at me telling me to stop crying and get over it because I was making him look bad. He didn't even apologize until my mom made him because she saw I was very upset. However when my dad apologized he did it in the most rudest tone. Which now I realize he was actually never really there for me and he just forces me and my mom to do everything why he shoves his hands down his pants and watches tv the hole day. Now I love my dad and he does work two jobs but besides that even if me and my mom clean the whole house he will always find something to complain about. He sometimes cooks dinner and cleans dishes but besides that he doesn't do anything else around the house. He always expects it to be clean when he gets home when my mom and brothers also work which leaves me for him to force to do everything. Besides that he is a good dad if you look past his flaws I mean he is also Bypolar so yeah. Anyway also on vacation me,my bff,my eldest brother,and my eldest brothers girlfriend made a plan to get my bff out of her abusive household when she is 18. Which is going to happen in 2022 so stay tuned for that chapter. Also next year I am going to go to the career center which means I get to see my bff a lot more and I get to confront some of the people from my past including my ex best friend. Also if any of you are going through the things I have been through and are thinking of committing suicide please don't do it. I almost cut my wrist but I stopped myself because two of my cousins committed suicide and I saw how hurt people were and I didn't want to hurt people by taking my life to early. I know nothing I may say will change your mind but please know you are not alone. You can talk to me or anyone else about what you are going through I will always be here to talk if you need me. Just know suicide isn't the right path it hurts others to and things will get better even if it seems like your world is crumbling down. You may also hear this from a lot of people and not think its true but it is trust me when you grow older all of the people that did you wrong are going to get karma for there actions while you will rise up and be the best you can be. I am still alive and I am still here because I decided to put the blade down even though I hurted so bad and just wanted the pain to go away. I put the blade down so I wouldn't be rembered as just another kid committing suicide. I want to leave behind a legacy I don't want people to be sad and cry because of me. So please don't hurt yourself its not worth it live to see tommorow and you may see the whole world. Live to see tommorow and you can see a new path for you and the people who did you wrong get karma. So please live not just for your family or for others but for yourself for a better tommorow. So with that I will end this chapter and I will hopefully post again soon for now bye!