After Ray started dating Althea, he realized he was even more clueless on what he was in than he thought.
They were dating, yes.
So what makes it different from their previous relation?
How does he make her feel special?
And how can he prove to her that it'll be the best decision she had ever make?
Ray was like searching for something in the dark. As one who didn't receive much love himself, he wasn't sure how to express or give one.
He thought over it for the first couple of days of their relationship and decided to do it his way; making it worthwhile for them both. Not wanting to only receive from her, he wanted the girl to be the only one in his life, to live healthy, to be happy, and to spend the rest of his life with her.
The first thing Ray thought to do was to give his partner peace of mind. So that Althea would never worry if he would cheat on her, worry if there are any girl trying to get close to him, and to show her his utmost loyalty.
Ray wasn't originally close to any girl before, he only talked to some when being asked or was in a discussion with one and didn't care whether they are close or far in distance.
Only after he was with Althea, he avoided the girls like plague.
He sat at the furthest chair from girls in his class and even deleted all of the girl's contact in his phone who used to be his teammates or colleagues during his school life.
If previously the people at his school guessed he was gay, this action only further confirming it.
It doesn't bother him, however, as he never did and would never care about such rumors.
For him, society is already irrelevant.
He's someone who doesn't mess up with his priorities and he knows his priority now is meeting that girl, the only light he finally found after years of wishing.
He was fully intent on making her his.
Ray thought that marrying her is the only way to prove how serious he is and to make sure their time wouldn't be wasted in a vain relationship.
Ray clicked on the power button of his phone to see her picture from yesterday as his locked background.
His girl is so pretty.
He wouldn't bother about whether it's true or not for the others as it's an already established fact for him.
Forget with her current beautiful self, even if she changed to what society might call 'ugly', Ray would still find her the prettiest woman on earth.
It's just that Ray felt that she's too thin for her height. There were also clear traces of exhaustion and lack of sleep on her face.
And that's definitely not good.
Since the day he noticed this weeks ago, Ray made a mental note on what might be the cause of it and planned some solutions to deal with it.
Thus, he asked her to regulate her meals, to drink enough water in a day, to sleep properly on time.
His girlfriend has to be healthy above all else.
But of course she wouldn't listen. The girl said she didn't have any choice either and couldn't do anything to fix it.
Which Ray knows it's not true. She's just a picky eater with overthinking tendency who overworks herself every time. And Ray hoped she would realize how detrimental it is for her body.
Ding!
While he was in a daze, a message came from Althea. It was a picture of her with another girl which Ray immediately treated as non-existent.
'Make-up?' Ray mumbled as he saw the girl who usually only apply lip balm when going to school now have more touch-up on her face.
His girl looked bright and happy, her cute and girlish dance costume fit her perfectly. Moreover, as Althea rarely apply any make-up, the slight touch up on her right now makes her looks even more fresh and beautiful.
Ray didn't know whether to thank the one who applied it to her or scold them.
He's happy to see her shining brightly, but the thought that others would also watch her and might be interested in her made him boil. His scowl deepened when he saw her attire again. It's definitely too short for his liking, and if Althea has any awareness of herself at all, she would realize what a charm she's now exuding in it.
Torn by his own feeling, Ray could only manage to say, "Yes dear." before he put down his phone and looked at what had been in front of him.
He was sitting on his study desk for who knows how long already, and in front of him were piles of books stacked tidily with an opened notebook on the side full of his handwriting.
Ray stood up from his seat and stretch his body, effectively making cracking sounds here and there.
His girl had always asked him to rest, but he couldn't. Not yet.
He wanted to meet her as soon as he could. Just as he told Althea before, he didn't want Althea to only be a picture reflected on his screen.
He wanted to give her the assurance that he's real, that he will always be there for her physically and mentally, and he understood himself well enough to know that he'll do well in showing her by actions instead of words.
"Is that all?" as soon as he took his seat again, the reply came from Althea.
"Yes dear. You should get rest soon. I'll be studying again." Ray typed.
Imagining her dancing and walking around like that distracted Ray's focus. He couldn't help but think that there must be some boys out there ogling what is his.
Oh. How it frustrated him to think about the bad things he can't do anything about.
Since he couldn't, he wished that Althea would listen well not to get close to the boys. Just as what he wished for her to feel, he also needed some reassurance.
She is way too precious for him, and for someone who kept on being left behind, he was scared this girl he tried so hard to hold tightly and securely would eventually realize how bad of human he is and leave too.
Ray shook his head from his insecurities. He can't afford to waste any time.
Ray took the syllabus of what lessons he had to cover for the exam and wrote the target of what he needs to achieve by tonight.
The dizziness on his head made it hard for him to breathe, but he gritted to himself, "Not yet."
He thought of how Althea must've felt lonely these days as he kept on studying as much as he could. But he wished she would understand that he's doing this for them.
''Althea...'' He muttered to himself.
'Althea Kristoff.' his girl, his light, one he is willing to sacrifice everything for.
'Please wait for me.'