'Damn. What the-- what is this?' Althea felt her skin crawl and close the phone. She opened it again, hoping to see that she was just misreading it, only to unfortunately confirm that she didn't.
'Wha-what's happening? Isn't it a bit scary? It's scary, alright?! Where is my calm and collected Ray, where is my older brother who only replied one or two words to my messages? Give me back the usual Ray!" Althea didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this development. She wanted to pull her hair in frustration but it was still tied in a ponytail.
'Ahh Geez!' She took off her hair tie, the long black hair was cascading down to her waist before she ran her fingers through it.
'Should I open it? Should I?' she groaned.
'Wait... Do I look crazy right now?' She just realized where she is and looked around. Fortunately, other than some normal students passing by the door, there wasn't anyone else other than her.
Convincing herself that she needed to face her situation, she hesitated no more and opened up the chat.
[Ray] "Thank you for the audio."
"I have been playing it and I felt a little better."
"I felt a little better but somehow I felt lacking."
"Why do I feel restless again?"
"Where are you now?"
"Are you still working?"
"Who are you with?"
"When are you coming back?"
"Are you still busy?"
"Why do you not read my---"
Click. Althea pressed the power button. She couldn't bear to read anymore. She stood up abruptly and start taking small walk around the room. The quick pulsing of her heart made her hands grip the phone even tighter. Groaning, she thought of what should she do next.
'Should I block him? Should I just erase all of it and block him? Is that how?' She covered her face with the palm of her left hand, her other hand repeatedly click the on and off button.
'Let's delete this first.' She decided and deleted all the chats they've had until now. Proceeding to click on the block option, she hesitated.
It's true that she didn't see Ray as a love interest, as she always yearned for an older brother, someone who can calm her down and shelter her, and she found it in Ray. While he only gave her some short replies, he was always there for her when she felt down or tired from the problems at her home. He had also kindly taught and explained to her the things she couldn't understand. He had been so understanding to listen to her troubles and selfishness and accompanied her during her lonely nights.
Ray might be someone she never see nor meet in real life, and they've only been in contact for a month, but his position in her heart had grown bigger than anyone else. Thus, leaving him when it's his turn to need her direly didn't sit right with her.
'Just because he changed from the original person that I knew, I plan to leave him? When he readily accepted me who was different from my original attitude to him too? Was I this selfish?' Althea rebuked herself.
Before she could think about it further, another message came from Ray calling her out, "Thea?"
Althea read it and closed her eyes. First, she should clarify this condition.
"Ray, sorry but I don't have much time. Do you really not know what you're feeling right now?" she wanted to make sure once again.
"I don't."
Althea sighed. 'Could it be that this guy had been so ignorant towards his own feelings? I mean he is already 18! Had he really never have any crush?!'
"Do you have no one to ask?" Althea typed.
"None."
'Goodness!' Althea felt exasperated. She wanted to tell him about her guess, but it might bring unwanted effects. First of all, she wasn't sure of her conjecture yet. If it's wrong, then Ray who knows nothing might assume it's true when it might be not. Second, even if it's true, she wouldn't know how to face it. She is still busy with her event and a whole lot of lectures she might get once she went home, so she can't afford to have another problem at hand. And the third reason being... She's too shy to say anything like that!
In the place where Althea lives, girls tend to be reserved on things like love affairs. Most of the girls are only waiting to be confessed by their crush since confessing first as a girl is counted as shameless. The society's standard of a "good girl" is deeply implanted, and while Althea herself is more progressive than most people, she's still too shy to talk about it frankly.
Her eyes wandering around the room, Althea remembered on who Ray might be able to ask, "What about your father?" Althea proposed.
[Ray] "You want me to ask my father?"
"Yes."
"But first, you need to calm down, you are scaring me." Althea decided to come clean. The problem won't be solved if Ray kept making her feel nervous, after all.
Ray read her message but no reply came. It was then Althea's turn to feel restless. 'What is it now? Last time he took his time to reply, he became a totally different person the next morning!" Althea propped her forehead with the palm of her hand.
As she was getting impatient, Ray sent her a message saying, "I understand. I'm sorry I didn't realize it. I will do anything in my capabilities to be calm and solve it. I'll come back tomorrow."
"Okay. Don't worry too much and message me later." Althea said. Judging from his response, Althea knew Ray realized his abnormalities and is now decisively gonna solve it or cut off all things which are getting on his way to settle this situation, just like the usual Ray.
Noticing that there won't be anymore reply after waiting for some minutes, Althea closed her phone and put it away.