Harutora and Hokuto had met over their first summer vacation after entering middle school.
It was in a small park near the tram stop, under a blue, sunny cloudless sky, and the fresh green leaves shone like emeralds in the sunlight.
The first time he met Hokuto he had been unable to keep his eyes off her. She looked like an idol that he liked at the time, and had been about as old as him. Harutora watched from the distance for a long time, wondering what school the girl went to.
The girl was sitting alone on a park bench, and once she noticed Harutora's gaze, her body suddenly jumped up like a spring. Her eyes widened in Harutora's direction and her mouth gaped to make quite a strange reaction. After all, he didn't know this girl.
Harutora felt it was very strange, and tried approaching the girl. Noticing, the girl quickly escaped from the park, vanishing instantly and without a trace, leaving behind the stunned Harutora blankly standing still - that was the first meeting between Harutora and Hokuto.
Harutora ended up meeting Hokuto again - Actually, 'spotting' would be more appropriate - the second day after the first meeting in the park.
From then on Harutora would always feel like there was a person spying on him. He didn't have that feeling when he was at home, but once he walked out onto the road, he would feel like there was someone gazing at him from behind. But every time he turned around no one was there.
He turned around frequently, wondering whether he was being followed. But he didn't expect that he was actually being followed. He noticed the other person purely by chance. At the time, he had been walking by a car parked to the side, and he saw the figure of his follower from the side view mirror.
It was that girl he had run into in the park.
He reflexively turned around, meeting eyes with Hokuto, who was caught by surprise. Hokuto escaped on foot, and he chased after her. Unfortunately, Hokuto's speed was shocking, and her figure vanished in moments... Back then, a similar thing would happen every three days, and not long after it became every two days, and in the end, this drama would be performed every day. It was the strangest human relationship Harutora had in his life.
Harutora chased, Hokuto ran, and these days continued for a period of time.
Why does she follow me around? Why does she run? Harutora pondered but couldn't understand and only felt baffled.
But instead, that baffling feeling inflamed Harutora's fighting spirit.
He thought of several plots, but Hokuto saw through them. Before he noticed, he had already been deeply engrossed in this game of tag. He had never pa.s.sed a summer vacation where he had racked his brain, run around, and sweated this much.
Meaningless, hot, exciting, and mystery-filled days.
He absorbed himself in the chase in that nostalgic summer sunlight.
But in the end, Harutora didn't catch Hokuto a single time.
On the last day of summer vacation, he decided to change his methods. Early in the day, he came to the park they had first met, and waited there for the whole day. He didn't do anything, just stayed in the park and waited idiotically, and in doing so even made himself wonder whether he had gone crazy. He endured the torment of the heat, sweating until he was almost dehydrated, but the thought of going somewhere to cool down never crossed his mind.
Hokuto appeared at dusk.
The instant the sun fell under the horizon, in the short moment when the light hadn't completely vanished, when the sky was dyed a magical indigo--
Hokuto's determined appearance walked straight up to Harutora, and she opened her mouth like she was going to come clean.
But Harutora spoke first before she made a sound:
"You don't need to say anything, it's your win."
She closed her mouth, her eyes sizing Harutora up, like she was speculating the meaning of those words.
"I didn't catch you even at the end, so I think you probably don't want people to know your background, right?"
Hokuto stood silently with an awkward face, but Harutora was beaming with a smile.
"You're really crazy fast for a girl. But let me at least tell you my name. I'm Harutora."
He stood up from the bench upon saying this, extending his hand.
Hokuto looked intently at Harutora's hand like a small animal seeing food, and then her eyes - her slightly lowered, big eyes - gradually shone with light.
She quietly reached out her hand, timidly touching Harutora's hand, and then she shook his hand firmly like she wouldn't let go.
Afterwards, a blooming, naive smile emerged on her face - one that Harutora would often see in the future.
Harutora barely understood Hokuto at all. A mysterious girl - Touji had called Hokuto this, but Harutora didn't care, since in the end he liked Hokuto being by his side.
That summer day ended, welcoming in the fall, fall gave way to winter, and a year pa.s.sed. The second year pa.s.sed, and the two of them stayed as they were. Touji joined during the third year, and Harutora's surroundings became even livelier.
The secretive girl and the juvenile delinquent - Everyone seemed to get along very well, and Harutora felt satisfied.
So he didn't want to destroy the relationships between them three.
So he wanted to always go on like this.
That would be pretty nice, he thought.
Harutora ran on the straight road at night.
The heavy rain didn't stop, and thunder even began rumbling, flashes of lightning slashing through the night.
Unmindful of the horrible weather, Harutora had ran alone from the construction site that had been made into a magical battlefield.
He ran to chase Suzuka.
At the same time, he ran to stop Suzuka.
His mind was blank and he didn't think of anything, just rushing forward. His breathing was erratic, and his heart felt like it was torn, intense pain wracking his entire body.
He had dulled the pain with a healing charm for treating wounds and fatigue, and every time it failed, he changed to a new charm, never stopping his run.
It was dark all around, the streetlights on either side glowing weakly. He almost couldn't see the road under his feet in this torrential downpour. The road extended into the darkness, and he could only vaguely see the road in front of him. He had long since forgotten how long had pa.s.sed, nor did he know how far he had ran, and all he heard was the resounding sound of thunder and the sound of his breathless gasps. He constantly ran, running through the rain, running through the night, running through flashes of lightning, moving forward on an unknown road.
He didn't stop running.
His hand clutched the charm Hokuto had left behind after she disappeared.
He made an effort to not think of Hokuto, and maybe it could be said that he was running to keep his mind off it, to make those thoughts go away.
His thoughts inadvertently faded alongside his chaotic breathing, but when he stumbled, tumbling onto the road, his memories burst forth one by one like geysers, making him unable to help but recall the old days.
Hokuto's appearance had never changed since the first time they met. Her body was thin, but had an unbelievably durable body and arm strength to match. She was fast on her feet, and she could even catch Touji sprinting as hard as he could. She didn't like talking about herself - They had never heard her mention her family or friends.
Just now, when she had been wounded but hadn't leaked a drop of blood, she had even blocked the spider's steel leg while simultaneously casting magic. She had disappeared like smoke when she was lying in Harutora's arms, leaving behind her words telling Harutora to run away. She hadn't become a corpse, but a shikigami charm instead.
To think that there could be such a thing.
...d.a.m.n.
Harutora was out of breath, yelling 'that idiot' in his heart.
...Why was she a shikigami?
The thought 'A fake Hokuto appeared just now, and the real Hokuto is somewhere else' emerged once, but he couldn't fool himself like that. 'I lied to you, I'm sorry for always deceiving you.' Hokuto had said that.
Could it be that everything had been fake? Her existence had been fake, and her memories had also been fake?
All the time he had been with her, every word she said, everything had been a lie - Could he had been lied to?
If I've been lied to...
If Hokuto's existence had been a lie from the beginning, if she had never once existed...
Might she not be dead?
...'Harutora, I love you.'
Lightning struck, and thunder roared.
He wanted to yell as loud as he could, but breathless as he was, he couldn't even shout the words in his heart. So, he strode forward, immersing himself in running forward, sprinting forth - Running desperately, thinking of running until the ends of the earth.
Rain. Night. Lightning. Thunder.
His vision became blurry, his consciousness faded, and he couldn't even feel the movements of his legs, as if his body had long since expended its energy and was depending on the a.s.sistance of his soul to continue running.
Depending on his soul...
A flash of lightning split the atmosphere, followed by a clap of thunder, and the air shook intensely.
Right, where had Hokuto's soul gone? She also had a soul, right? If she did - If the shikigami also has a soul, he wanted to see her again even if she was fake. Everything will be fine if I see her, I want to ask her clearly and understand. If her soul is wandering around somewhere right now--
Then.
Harutora stopped.
He didn't know how long he had run for. When he came to his sense, he hadn't seen the streetlights by the sides of the road for a long time, as only the rain continued falling in the world that seemed as if all light had disappeared.
At the end of the darkness, on the other side, there was a fuzzy, weak point of light that glowed faintly.
It seemed like a soul.
"...Hokuto?"
A hoa.r.s.e voice came from his mouth.
But, it wasn't a soul.
It was the light from a lantern. Harutora knew that he had reached his destination.
There was a minor road straight ahead, which led up to a gently sloped ramp accessing the hill behind him. There were stone steps heading up the slope next to the road, and there was the roof of an ancient-looking wooden shrine next to the stone steps, with a lantern hanging from the roof and giving off a misty light.
Thunder flashed, illuminating the lantern under the roof.
The pentagram family crest was printed on the lantern--
Along with the word 'Tsuchimikado'.
Harutora stood in the night, catching his breath and looking at the light. Then, he walked closer as if to drive away the darkness.
He stood next to the lantern, looking at the stone steps. The precipitous steps gave off the impression of a skyline in the darkness, blending into the dense, dark trees on either side. Two points of light shone like a mirage at the very top, the light of lanterns.
Harutora climbed the stone steps.
The force of the rain weakened, the sound of the shaking tree leaves growing noisier instead.
He stepped up the stone stairs one after another, climbing up step by step. He grew closer to the night sky with every step upwards.
Foreboding dark clouds and blinding lightning.
He reached the hilltop.
There was an outer door at the end of the stone steps, with starred lanterns similar to the one below on either side of it.
He opened the door wide from the outside.
On the other side of the door was the Tsuchimikado main family mansion, as if hidden from the dark night.
He hadn't come here in a long time. There were no electric lights inside, and it didn't seem like there was anyone home, but there was a living presence as if the mansion itself was quietly breathing.
Had Natsume arrived home safely? Just as a slight anxiety rose in Harutora's heart...
"...Close the door, I'm in the Bellflower Room..."
For a moment, he thought he had heard wrong. But, he hadn't been mistaken. A b.u.t.terfly flew onto the nose of Harutora who was staring around the mansion, and a pure voice led Harutora through the creepy atmosphere.
The b.u.t.terfly before him was a shikigami, and it had been Natsume's voice just now. She really had made it home.
Harutora held tightly to the shikigami charm in his hand, following the dancing b.u.t.terfly into the mansion.
He walked into the entrance, moving through the corridor.
He was a bit concerned about entering the mansion dripping wet, but the surroundings were dark, and it would be hard for him to turn on a light, much less find a towel to dry himself. Only the b.u.t.terfly leading Harutora glowed with light in the darkness. He followed the b.u.t.terfly, relying on his memory as he walked into the mansion.
After walking for a while, he saw a faint light shining through the gap of a sliding door in the corridor.
It was a wood-floored room, called the 'Bellflower Room' by the Tsuchimikado family. The b.u.t.terfly hovered in front of the sliding door, and the sliding door opened as Harutora approached.
The light spilling out of the room was the light from candles.
The room was about twelve tatami mats[1], and there was an altar set up inside with a yorishiro[2], sakaki[3] and gohei for worship. There were also various instruments displayed around it, hanging scrolls with incantations written on them, and several candles on the altar with softly swaying flames that dimly lit the room.
The interior of the room gave off a mildewy odor mixed with the smell of the heat and rain, but at the same time he could smell the elegant aroma of the drifting incense.
Natsume sat in the center of the room.
Harutora was a bit surprised. Natsume had taken off her original clothes, changing into the pure white and red j.a.panese hakama of a shrine maiden, kneeling and preparing a talisman that had been placed on the floor. The b.u.t.terfly flew before Natsume, stopping on the floor, and returned to a small shikigami charm.
"...Natsume."
Natsume slowly raised her head, hearing Harutora call out. Her black hair slid down soundlessly in the flickering orange candlelight.
The b.u.t.terfly shikigami seemed to be a simple shikigami manipulated by Natsume, or in other words...
"Your spiritual power recovered?"
"Yes. There should be no problems getting through tonight, though it hasn't recovered completely."
"So you mean you want to guard the altar?"
Natsume had no reply. That answer showed even more clearly her determination to go.
It was silent inside the room, though the sound of the rain outside was faintly audible. The room was permeated with an atmosphere of seclusion from the outside world.
The area seemed as if it was covered by a layer of tranquility, and inside this barrier, the pa.s.sing of time was only showed by the swaying of the candlelight and the sound of the burning incense.
"...Harutora-kun, were you hurt? You look like you were injured..."
"Ah, I'm alright, I'm just like this because I ran over here."
Natsume looked surprised when she heard those words. She showed her shock, shaking her head and taking a towel placed by the side to give to Harutora. Harutora took the towel, infinitely grateful.
"...Sorry for having you return home alone in that kind of condition."
Harutora rubbed his head with the towel, apologizing to Natsume.
Natsume quickly spoke with a firm tone, as if reproaching him: "I know."
"The driver told me about the situation back then. When I woke up in the car, I was really scared... I couldn't calm down after hearing the driver's explanation. I spoke to you in the cafe, so why did you have to come here?"
She seemed truly mad, her words barbed as usual.
Right now, Harutora was grateful from the bottom of his heart for Natsume's lecture. He had just listened to her in the cafe, but it felt abnormally long ago.
A bitter, self-deprecating feeling pa.s.sed through his chest.
If he hadn't come here, Hokuto wouldn't have died, and the days that were now forever lost could have continued.
"...I'm really useless."
Harutora muttered powerlessly, and the angry Natsume inadvertently pursed her lips upon seeing that.
Then, her countenance relaxed slightly.
"Didn't you stay behind to learn who won between the 'Child Prodigy' and the Mystical Investigators? Judging by your appearance, it seems like it wasn't a good outcome."
"...Yeah..."
Harutora replied dully, sitting heavily on the floor.
He wasn't in the mood to look at Natsume, letting the towel on his head cover his face, and retelling the magic battle he had just witnessed.
The Mystical Investigators' loss. Suzuka summoning the 'Armored Juggernaut'. The contents of his and Suzuka's conversation, and the full story of how he had tried to persuade Suzuka.
Though he was hesitant, he still spoke of the event with Hokuto.
To avoid a long story, he spoke of everything he had witnessed truthfully.
As well as what had happened to one of his most important friends.
Natsume listened silently without interrupting Harutora's words.
The candle burned behind her back, and shadows fell across her face because she was backlit. Hazy shadows swayed on her pretty face, and her eyes shone with a mysterious radiance.
Natsume's look didn't change from the start, and she calmly listened to everything, nodding only when Harutora had finished speaking.
"...I see, she brought out an 'Armored Juggernaut'..."
"Do you know about that thing?"
"I only know of the name. She probably took the shikigami that was in custody for research purposes. It originally wasn't a shikigami that a single person could manipulate... Worthy of the 'Child Prodigy'."
Natsume spoke softly, and her tone was unusually gentle, perhaps concerned about Harutora's feelings.
"Is there a way to defeat it?'
"I don't know, all I know is that it would be extremely difficult."
"...Even so, you're going to perform your 'responsibility' as fully as possible?"
"...Right."
Natsume replied with a clear, brief tone, without a trace of hesitation.
The similarly-aged Natsume annoyed him because of this. Why would Natsume be so different from him? When they were small, Harutora had always taken the lead, but now she was already this strong.
Her responsibility as a member of the Tsuchimikado family. Her duty as the heir.
But, was that it?
Why Natsume was this strong, and why she firmly upheld her 'responsibility'.
Could it be because she was Yakou's...
...Tch.
Harutora closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head, flinging away his confusion.
He had never been someone to keep things inside him. He made his decision, pulling off the towel draped over his head and looking at Natsume. Natsume blinked in surprise at Harutora's sudden motions.
"W, What is it? Let me first say that whatever you say, you won't stop me from upholding my duty as the heir. This is my responsibility, since I'm a member of the Tsuchimikado family."
"...Is that it?"
"Huh? O, Of course, because the Taizan f.u.kun Ritual is a dangerous ceremony, and I can't allow..."
Natsume's voice became weaker and weaker under the pressure of Harutora's firm gaze.
"Natsume, you're this firm about your 'responsibility' because you're Yakou's reincarnation, right?"
Harutora asked, both eyes staring intently at Natsume.
"Ha..."
Natsume's reaction was intense.
Her wide, almond-shaped eyes blinked, and her momentary shock rapidly disappeared, her entire body showing a firm but not unaffected presence.
She straightened her back, a sincere look emerging on her face. Maybe she had always feared but long since known that she would be asked this question.
She looked straight back into Harutora's eyes, giving him an answer.
"...Harutora-kun, I don't know if I'm Yakou's reincarnation either."
Harutora nodded his head upon hearing Natsume's response.
Harutora was serious. Since his childhood friend had chosen to sincerely answer this presumptuous question, he had to show the same sincerity.
"You have no memories at all relating to Yakou?"
"Right. What's more, current magic can't prove whether Yakou was truly reincarnated or not, nor can it find out whether I am the reincarnation... You already heard those rumors about me?"
Natsume checked. Harutora nodded, making a 'nn' sound.
"Actually, I only learned about that rumor today, so I'm not very clear on it."
"I'm not too clear on how many people know about it or how many people actually believe it either. I asked my father, but he refused to tell me. But, that rumor was already around by the time I was born."
"Around by the time you were born? Not spread after people learned about your amazing talent?"
"Right, my talent isn't much. Don't be mistaken, I consider my efforts extraordinary, and I'm a minor celebrity. Honestly, the rumor spread into an uproar because of this... At least, from what I know, there are only rumors about me being Yakou's reincarnation."
"...I see... So that's how it is."
Harutora muttered, replying ambiguously.
He had only learned of his childhood friend's secret now. Natsume wasn't simply a successor of the main family, the burden 'Yakou's reincarnation' had accompanied her from the day she was born.
He remembered the words he had just spoken to Suzuka. 'All of society will raise its voice to condemn your brother - not just the Onmyou Agency, and he will have to live on pitifully like that.' ...What pained him was, couldn't those words he had dissuaded Suzuka with be applied to Natsume as well?
"...Born in the Tsuchimikado main family, elected the family heir, 'maybe' Yakou's reincarnation - that is me. So I cannot let her go, as if I let her have what she desires, it would basically be denying my own existence and my position."
Natsume smiled emptily after saying this. She smiled as if letting down the burden from her shoulders, candidly and sincerely.
But, it was a self-mocking smile on her face.
"...You could call me a person without a 'self'. My position is complicated, and I have no will or desires of my own, and maybe I am a soulless form like a shikigami."
"Natsume..."
The empty smile on his childhood friend's face deeply p.r.i.c.ked Harutora's heart.
A shikigami with no soul, only a form. Those words called forth Hokuto's image into Harutora's brain.
Hokuto was a shikigami. But he had never believed Hokuto didn't have a soul.
On the other hand, Natsume was a person, but believed she didn't have a soul.
A person like a shikigami, a shikigami like a person.
However--
"I really don't get it."
"...Huh?"
Natsume trembled in surprise - because Harutora's gaze was fiercely staring at her.
"I really don't get it, is there that big of a difference between shikigami and humans? Hokuto that I mentioned just now actually was a shikigami. Even so, Hokuto is Hokuto. You're the same, right, Natsume? You are yourself. Or are you saying that all this time that I've known you for is a lie? It's all imaginary?"
"H, Harutora-kun..."
Harutora got angry at the tongue-tied Natsume - "No." He continued speaking:
"If everything was a lie, then whatever, since I'm an idiot and I don't understand what's true and what's a lie - More importantly, real or fake, fake or real, isn't the most important part that you exist, whether you're real or fake?"
Harutora put effort into speaking his true thoughts, and half of those words were spoken to himself.
When he had ran here a doubt had endlessly tormented him. He had finally chosen to look at that doubt, facing the problem directly, thinking carefully, and accepting the answer that he got.
Before he realized it, he himself was teary-eyed.
Since Hokuto had disappeared, this was the first time he had cried. Something burning spilled out of his frozen body, slipping down his cheek.
"Harutora-kun..."
Even if Natsume didn't know what was wrong, her gaze still pointed firmly at Harutora.
She hadn't averted her gaze out of worry for Harutora's feelings. She focused on looking at her confused, hesitant, stumbling-but-moving-forward childhood friend as if she were telling herself she couldn't avert her eyes.
Harutora had made this girl worry. He forced himself to smile, wiping his tears.
"I, In any case, how can you say you don't have a 'self'? You're stubborn and you always get mad, and you're always lecturing - are you going to deny that because of your position? Then you'd be lying, and how much can you lie to yourself?"
"I, I'm not...!"
Natsume opened her mouth to deny it. Her cheeks were flushed, but she didn't strongly refute it, so it seemed that she actually had some self-awareness.
Harutora grinned without hiding it, feeling this was a bit humorous. Natsume, whose gaze crossed with his, was also infected by his grin, showing a light smile.
He noticed that the distance between him and Natsume had shortened.
When the two had played together - She had been a little girl always following Harutora around, listening to his every word.
After understanding many things, that little girl from before and the girl in front of him overlapped in Harutora's mind, connecting. The past and the present merged into one, and the originally forgotten childhood friend now became clearer than ever to his eyes.
"...But, I have something I have to say. Born in the Tsuchimikado main family, elected the next heir, maybe Yakou's reincarnation - those aren't all of you, but rather those are a part of you. You're troubled by not having a self, stubborn, always getting mad, always lecturing... Those are all you, and there are definitely many other parts that I don't know, and they will continue to increase in the future. The complete Natsume is only made by adding all those parts together."
Harutora spoke, nodding his head at Natsume.
Natsume stared unblinkingly, sincerely making a soft noise: "Nn..."
Harutora originally hadn't known that Hokuto was a shikigami, but even if he knew her true ident.i.ty, the former Hokuto wouldn't just disappear like that.
Natsume was the same. Even if he knew the rumors about her, the irritable and headstrong childhood friend Natsume wouldn't just vanish. Also, wasn't Natsume in front of him right now?
The incense made a subtle noise in the candlelight.
Harutora exhaled deeply.
He closed his eyes, straightened his back, and stood tall.
"Natsume, I have something to ask of you."
Harutora's tone was serious, and Natsume went on alert, her face becoming tense again.
"...It's no use even if you stop me, I'll still go to the altar, because this is 'me'."
"I get that, I won't stop you. That's not what I want to ask of you."
"I, I also won't permit you to come with me to the altar, didn't you fail to persuade her? I'm thankful that you're this worried about me, but to bring you--"
"Natsume."
Harutora interrupted Natsume's apologetic tone, saying his request.
"Let me become your shikigami."
☆
Natsume was shocked speechless.
Harutora's look was serious, and he repeated it again. He clearly stated the words that he had believed he would never say - the words that he had been contemplating for many years.
"Please. Let me become your shikigami right now."
He could only do this, Harutora repeated inside his heart.
Natsume didn't plan on bringing an outsider to the site of a magic battle, but since she had resolved to sacrifice herself for her Tsuchimikado family responsibility, it was impossible that she would disregard Harutora if he brought out the branch family tradition. Harutora wanted to act together with Natsume, that was his only option.
Natsume froze still, swallowing loudly.
Her neck was stiff, and her eyes were wide, gazing at Harutora's face. She was dazed for a while before she forced herself to move her intent stare away from Harutora, looking at the floor.
"...Do you still remember?"
"Huh? O, Of course. Didn't you also call me a liar--"
"...In other words, you understood the meaning behind those words?"
"O, Of course..."
Just then, Natsume stood up fiercely with a clatter. Harutora almost jumped in surprise, raising his head to look at his childhood friend.
Natsume's black hair was messy, and her eyes stared fiercely at Harutora as if they would spew flame.
"...In that case, why, why do you now...!"
Because of her excessive agitation, she couldn't even speak clearly.
Her lips tightened, her hands clenched into fists, her fingers whitening from her force. She turned around so her back faced Harutora, like she was afraid of continuing to look, as if she would be unable to control her emotions.
The soft candlelight illuminated his childhood friend's profile.
Her white-garbed back shook intensely.
Harutora couldn't say anything for some time, as he hadn't expected Natsume to have such an intense reaction.
But--
--Natsume, you...
Why do you only say so now?
Those words stabbed painfully at Harutora's heart.
Natsume had always borne the responsibility of a Tsuchimikado family heir, and not only this, as the rumors of Yakou's reincarnation had always pestered her. In that kind of situation Harutora had agreed to become Natsume's shikigami, but then had broken the agreement of his own accord.
Anyways, it was just children playing around... He couldn't help but recognize that his att.i.tude towards this matter had been quite irresponsible.
But, Natsume was different. She had endured the pressure around her, staying firm to her beliefs, continuing to wait.
Natsume's reproach 'Liar' had made Harutora feel guilty, but he had never thought about what kind of feelings the indomitable Natsume was bearing as she tearfully called him a liar.
...So that's why she criticized me...
Maybe she had spoken true, and he really was bringing it up too late.
But, even if it was late--
Even if it was late, he couldn't back down.
"...Listen to me, Natsume."
Harutora straightened his back, promising.
"I really like my current life. I go to school every day and pa.s.s idle and unremarkable days, and I like that kind of life. Since I'm not a spirit-seer, my parents didn't complain either, and since I had friends who were relaxed like me, I thought it would be fine this way."
He spoke choppily towards Natsume's back. He reorganized the words he had spoken to Hokuto while he spoke them.
"But, I was wrong. Even if I'm not a spirit-seer and I was born in the branch family, I'm still a member of the Tsuchimikado family. Everything that happened this time was a result of my choice to hide from myself. What I told you just now also applies to myself, Tsuchimikado Harutora - that is me, without a doubt."
This was something he had spoken with Hokuto about, something that she had fought with Harutora about, and something she had firmly told him.
"Right now, I finally understand this, I think I have finally come around."
I want to avenge Hokuto.
I want to stop Suzuka's evil.
I want to do whatever I can - even if I have a meager strength - to protect Natsume.
Harutora's heart only held these thoughts.
"So, Natsume, let me become your shikigami, and I'll perform the responsibility that I ought."
Please - Harutora requested towards the back of his childhood friend.
When doing what you believe is right, if you believe you made a mistake, correct it.
In this complicated world, doing so might be infinitely difficult even if it seemed simple. But in the end, there were no other ways other than facing it with hard work.
Try and try again, and continue to fail.
And after thinking about it again, find your own answer.
After a long while...
Natsume's back no longer trembled, and her body gradually relaxed.
She quietly called out the word: "...Bakatora."
"Huh?"
Natsume had called quietly and furtively, and upon hearing Harutora ask about it, she just replied "...Nothing", slowly turning around to face Harutora.
Natsume's back was to the faint candlelight, and her face was again shrouded by shadow. Clear eyes stared at her childhood friend from her backlit face.
The white-garbed shrine maiden's black hair swayed as she kneeled before Harutora.
"...Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"You will become a Tsuchimikado - my - shikigami not just for now, but for life, do you have the resolve?"
"I do."
Whether human or shikigami, Tsuchimikado Harutora was Tsuchimikado Harutora, and the days that he had enjoyed in the past wouldn't vanish.
"I won't lie again." Harutora said.
Natsume closed her eyes upon hearing those words.
After a period of silence, the corners of her mouth rose in a light smile, and her eyes opened.
"...Of course, a shikigami will be punished if he lies, after all."
As Natsume said this, she stared at Harutora while showing a look that carried both tenderness and ferocity. Harutora had never seen that expression of her, and his heart leaped.
Then, her gaze turned serious.
"Understood. Then - Harutora-kun, I will now appoint you as my shikigami."
Natsume solemnly declared this, reaching her hand into her clothing and taking out a small knife. Harutora flinched, surprised by this sudden motion.
The candlelight danced on the steel.
Natsume brought the small knife to her lips, lightly kissing the knife and letting the blade slide along her lips.
"N, Natsume!?"
"...Close your eyes."
Natsume's tone was serious, and blood wet her pink lips. Even with his incredible anxiety, Harutora followed her orders and closed his eyes.
The sound of the knife being placed on the ground reached his ears along the soft sound of clothing rubbing against itself, and then the feeling of Natsume moving forward. Harutora's heartbeat quickened, and he held his eyes shut with force.
Then, he heard the sound of Natsume murmuring.
An incantation.
His childhood friend's clear, crisp voice seemed like it was reading the words of a prayer, bringing forth an ancient melody. It was strange melody that made his head spin but feel like his head was crystal clear. Her voice became fingers drawing on Harutora's body and entering him[4].
"...By the name of the ancestor Abe no Seimei, you, Tsuchimikado Harutora, become my, Tsuchimikado Natsume's shikigami..."
Natsume finished the incantation with an extremely serious tone.
Was it over? Harutora wondered, but it actually hadn't finished yet. He felt thin fingers lightly holding his cheeks, and these were actual fingers, not just a feeling. Then, he felt Natsume approach rapidly.
The delicate lips dyed with blood approached him.
They were right in front of his left eye. Natsume held Harutora's face in place with both hands, kissing Harutora's closed left eye. Harutora's body unconsciously stiffened upon realizing this.
From a distance less than ten centimeters away from Harutora, a smile quietly bloomed on Natsume's lips, her tongue licking the nick cut open by the knife.
Her b.l.o.o.d.y tongue timidly reached out, touching Harutora's cheek right under his left eye.
He felt gooseb.u.mps spring up over his entire body.
His mind completely focused on the small, moist, and tender sensation. Natsume lightly and slowly moved her tongue, tracing a pattern.
A pentagram.
It was a magical pattern representing the five elements of yin and yang, known in Onmyoudou as the 'star mark', 'Seimei's Bellflower Mark', or 'Seimei's Mark'. After being used by Abe no Seimei, it later became the crest of the Tsuchimikado family.
Her presence stayed on his face. She hadn't moved her tongue away, slowly and cautiously tracing the pentagram, and she only let her tongue leave his face once she had truly drawn the final stroke and completed the pentagram pattern.
A string of saliva mixed with blood stretched between them, and Natsume's face reddened instantly once she noticed, hurriedly removing it. Harutora almost stopped breathing during that time.
Harutora's left cheek had a freshly marked pentagon, right underneath his left eye.
"...It's done."
"...Th, Thanks..."
Never having thought that this kind of ceremony was required for becoming a shikigami, Harutora's jumping heart couldn't calm down, and he didn't dare to look directly at Natsume's face.
Natsume moved back, calling out:
"...Harutora-kun."
"Y, Yes."
"With this, you are my shikigami."
The candlelight flickered as it glowed in the slightly damp darkness.
Her face was still red, her head gazing upwards. She spoke those words as if savoring a fruit she had finally picked.
Suddenly, Harutora thought of his childhood long ago, and he felt restless as if he had swallowed a fist-sized candy.
Heavy, painful, and unable to spit it out--
A dangerous and sweet sensation.
Harutora was in an absentminded daze, and Natsume coughed.
"Well... Harutora-kun, can you 'see'?"
Natsume hid her shyness, changing the topic. Harutora was deeply puzzled, and he didn't notice the change until he was about to ask.
He saw it.
He jumped in surprise. He saw the clear aura radiating from Natsume's whole body. No, it wasn't quite right to say he could see it, but rather he could feel the aura.
The scene reflected in his eyes was a bit different from before, and his eyes still couldn't see the color or shape of the aura from Natsume's body, but he knew. He could perceive with a different feeling from sight that there was aura there.
"This, could this be...?"
"Right, I used magic to make Harutora into a spirit-seer. You can see it, right? That's a success."
Harutora couldn't help but be shocked, his mouth agape.
He stared dumbfounded at his childhood friend who was still a bit embarra.s.sed like it was his first time seeing her. Natsume shrank back even more upon being stared at so openly.
"Is this spirit-seeing?"
The process was far simpler than he had expected. Or should he say that Natsume's power was striking? The talent that had troubled Harutora for many years was now housed in his left eye.
"...Beautiful."
"--B, Beautiful!?"
"So aura is this beautiful."
"...Ah...Oh, it's that..."
He didn't know why Natsume said those words lethargically and a bit angrily, but Harutora didn't pay attention to it. He first felt surprised, then slowly felt moved.
The appearance of the Bellflower Room they were in was hugely different from just before. He noticed that the entire room was filled with a holy aura, a harmonious, stable, and solemn aura. The world that he had heard about but had never actually felt was now clearly placed before him.
This was the world of spirit-seers.
This was the world of Onmyouji.
...So it's like this, I...
He inadvertently thought of the wish that Hokuto had written on the ema yesterday.
'I hope that Harutora becomes an Onmyouji.'
No one knew whether Hokuto's wish would come true or not, but at the least he was standing at the starting point.
He had only taken the first step now, after Hokuto disappeared.
...I'm sorry, Hokuto.
He felt his eyes moistening, but he clenched his jaw, telling himself not to cry again.
Just then, the round mirror placed on the altar behind Natsume cracked, making a sound.
Natsume's face tensed up again, and Harutora looked at the altar in surprise. There were three mirrors on the altar, and other than the one just now, there was one other mirror that had already cracked.
"What's going on?"
"...Those are the barriers I put down to guard the altar before meeting you at the cafe today. Two of the mirrors are cracked now, meaning that there's only one barrier left. We should move as quickly as possible."
Suzuka was closing in on the shrine. Harutora readied himself.
The two of them looked at each other, rising simultaneously.
"...Let's go."
Natsume spoke, and Harutora nodded silently.
At some time, the sound of the rain had fallen silent.