On my way back nervousness sprouted, climbed and crawled all around me like it an invisible vine. I was drenched, cold and lost. I purposefully took the longer route to go from outside so that I could buy some time to think, thought it meant I was once again, at the rain's mercy.
If I knew a spell about escaping reality, I'd cast it right there and then.
From time to time I wished I was a hopeless romantic, where my nails were painted red like the mid-century starlets, lounging in a hammock chair with a fancy glass cup filled with cherry cola float in my hand while daydreaming about my star-crossed lover.
I wondered if I had a doppelgänger who was living a life in such ways in a completely different time and place.
Although what I had at this moment, was nothing but the pouring rain, the endless darkness that was too far away from dawn and a troubled mind.
It became painfully clear that I couldn't determine whether I was good enough for Draco Malfoy, and I would never be sure. What I did know was I had read enough novels and watched enough movies where the protagonists decided to leave their lovers because they believed it was the best course of action, and it had never concluded on a happening ending.
Call me selfish-which I certainly already was-I didn't want to be that protagonist. Draco Malfoy was all I had, and I intended to keep it this way. I loved him, why would I even remotely think about leaving him?
Love has always been selfish, hasn't it?
"You don't look too hot, darling," The fat lady said when she saw me with water dripping down my clothes.
Though I didn't mean to be rude, I dead stared at her instead of laughing at her not-so-clever pun.
"Blancmange," I said wryly while thinking about where to get some blancmange. Every time when the password was a dessert name, it made me crave sweets.
"Get a sense of humor, young lady," She rolled her eyes as she swung her portrait open, "I was trying to cheer you up."
I symbolically smiled at her as I crawled in.
Before I could find my footing, I heard Ginny calling my name.
"Yes?" I looked up and said in distress.
"You are finally back," She eyed me up and down and said cautiously, "Are you alright? You are soaked."
"I've noticed," I threw my hands, tried to sound lighthearted and began walking toward the dorm to get a change of clothes.
Then as my eyes adjusted to the brighter light, I saw those who were sitting on the couch in the common room and those who were standing around.
Ron was in the armchair on the side near the fireplace, Lavender was standing across the room from him, and Harry was rubbing his temples with his glasses in one hand, sitting in the middle on the center couch.
I knew something was up when the usually crowded common room was only filled with the characters who were tangled by an avoidable drama.
Theatrical was the world came to mind.
I slowed my steps down and eventually stopped by the spiral stone stairs, knowing that they were expecting me to speak.
"Well, "I cleared my throat impatiently, completely over with the conversation before it even started, "What now?"
"Would you like to say something about, you know, all that happened?" Ginny walked up to me, reached to put her hand on my shoulder but stopped her motion mid-air with hesitation and awkwardness, she shrugged instead.
"I have nothing to say, nor do I have anything to do with it," I frowned, annoyed by the question and continued on after a quick glance at Lavender, who had her head lowered, "While I'm sorry for the frustration it had caused, I cannot say it was at any point my fault."
"Do you want to get back with Ron?" I heard a faint voice. Lavender sounded like she had been crying.
"No," I said firmly. She was still staring at the floor, avoided eye contact. I sighed, turned to stare right into Ron's eyes, "Like I said, we are through and through. I wish you the best of luck. It's fine if you don't want to maintain any form of friendship. But I do hope in the future, you are able to make wise choices and not hurt anyone else's innocence."
"You don't have to right to sound like a saint," He said derogatorily in a stern tone, but I could see the signs of tears in his eyes, "I don't need advice from someone who associates herself with Draco Malfoy."
"You can say whatever you want about me, or Malfoy," I started walking up the stairs, "Honestly, I refuse to care any longer. If you loved, or cared about Lavender even the slightest, you should have a decent conversation with her without your audiences, you just broke that poor girl's heart. And for Merlin's sake, you should stop acting like you are something you are not."
I felt a great deal of weight had been lifted off my shoulders after I said that. Later in the shower, for the first time in forever, I felt the hot, steamy water washed away my stress and worries. I knew then, I was ready to face a new beginning, a time where Ron wasn't of my concern anymore, a time where I could only focus on building the relationship between Malfoy and me.
When I got back to the infirmary, Malfoy had fallen asleep. But my clumsiness and inability in moving the chair quietly caused an unpleasant screeching sound which woke him.
"Hey," He rubbed his eyes, "You should be glad you made it back before I run out of patience."
"I presume you weren't sleeping," I laughed, "Because how else could you impatiently checking the door to see if I was back?"
"Precisely," He smiled, then he moved over a little, "Come lie down next to me."
"I don't think Madam Pomfrey would approve this idea," I said.
"I think she will let it slide," He grinned.
"Alright," I said indulgently and climbed onto the bed.
I had never felt with somebody until Malfoy and I's paths began to cross like how it should've been at the very beginning.
Tomorrow surely would be nothing but beautiful.