With every single second, this duel is getting harder to watch. Yet, I can't bring myself to try to stop it. And so, I keep on watching the death match between the father and the son.
"Is this really all of Kaylith's strength?" Danny suddenly questions, looking at Trevor.
"That is a hard-to-answer question." Trevor says, "Strength can't be quantified and so assigning figures like 'half' or 'all' to someone's strength is kinda stupid, you know?"
"Perhaps," Danny says with a grim look, "but you know as well as I do – that isn't what I meant."
Trevor looks at the fight with a look of wanting to stop it as he answers, "No. It's not all of his strength, far from it in fact."
Yes, I think so too. I really doubt the man fighting Irium down there is going all out, despite that being the rule he set for the duel.
"Why is he holding back though? It's not just because Irium is his son, is it?" Danny questions.
"No, it's not." Trevor answers, "He is holding back because that will be better for his desired outcome."
… I see. So, it really is as it seems. One look at Danny tells me he realizes it too, or maybe he had realized it even before he asked the questions and just wanted to confirm it. And now he has.
That man down there who is fighting Irium – he is deliberately taking his time showing Irium his cards to give Irium the chance to think of a way to beat them.
"That man … he wants to lose," I say, "he wants to die, and he wants Irium to be the one who takes his life."
"Yes, that he does." Trevor says in a sad voice.
*****
"Irium," he says as he finds his footing after stumbling for a second, "why are you hesitating?"
"Tsk!"
"Why not just go through with killing me already?" He asks. "What's stopping you? Do you still hold on to some familial bond after all this time?"
Of course I do. You and your wife saved me and my siblings from that hellhole of an orphanage. I feel grateful for that, very grateful. However, that is not what is stopping me from killing you. What's stopping me is the fact that you are trying to die. And despite every positive emotion I feel towards you, I don't want to fulfill that wish of yours.
"Ha!" he chuckles. Because he can read minds, he obviously heard all that despite me not saying it out loud. And so he says, "This would be my biggest wish. And you say that you would not want to fulfill it despite feeling grateful towards me."
"I am grateful to you." I say, "But I don't believe that kindness is done in the hopes that it will be returned. If so, then it wouldn't be kindness in the first place."
I know what having no attachments to life feels like, albeit for completely different reasons. But, I can't fulfill someone's wish if that wish is to die. I just can't do it.
"Why is that, Irium?" He asks.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because the woman I called mother for a few years of my life would never condone such an act."
"Tsk!"
"Or, maybe it's because my eldest sister always taught me to not hurt people."
"…"
"Or, maybe it's because the man I called father for a few years tried his damned hardest to keep me and the rest of our family away from such things."
"…"
Or, maybe there is a completely different reason. I don't really care. Now is not the time to do self-introspection. Now is the time to deny your wish.
"Deny my wish? Seriously!?" he ask with a smirk, "You know, even if everything goes south, I can still just kill myself and get it over with. Dues' plan to end the Demon race will work out just fine. So, I don't have any need to stay alive."
"…"
"The only reason I have chosen to not kill myself and die at your hands in this duel is to make you a stronger person, and to get some closure at death. That's it. Even if that doesn't happen, it doesn't affect me all that much."
"Ha! Ha! Hahaha!!!" I can't help but laugh. "Do you really believe that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you really think you will find closure by dying by my hands? You won't." I say, and before he can retort, I continue, "The only way you will ever find closure is if you died by Grimma's hands."
"Ah!" He is left unable to respond, giving me ample time to continue,
"You blame yourself for everything that happened with Grimma and everything that happened because of it. I don't remember everything but I can tell it was something awful. Regardless though, it's her misfortune that you blame yourself for. So only dying by her hands can bring you any closure."
I am not a replacement for my sister. No one is.
"Hah!" He sighs and says, "You know, maybe you are right. But, since this duel is something I have already started, I might as well finish it."
He tries to make some symbol with his hand for some mage-craft. But, whatever it is, he stops – because I stop him with my hand outstretched as I say, "I have noticed you do not use your mage-craft for offensive purposes."
"…"
"Whatever reason you have for that, it is enough for me to know that I am going to win this duel. There is no point in it anymore."
I say and turn around.
"You can't be serious about this, Irium. You are walking away from this?" He says with an annoyed expression.
"Yes, I am." I simply say so and start walking.
"…"
"…"
Neither of us says anything past that as I reach the entrance/exit to the field, which Trevor opens up for me, and I leave.
And that – is the end of the duel.
*****