In my sixteen years of life, I was always sure of my strength. When I was a baby, I was not exposed to affection nor a treatment towards a child. I was immediately trained to become sensitive to my surroundings the moment I had been seen potential in the field where my family excels in—the supernatural. I don't like talking about my siblings, nor did I ever wanted their attention. I was an isolated child, being the one who was born last and far from the age of my older brother and sister. Despite that, I didn't stop in becoming strong. I was never physically strong. If I were to describe my strength, I'd be more adept at killing than fighting. But that did not bother me at all since I knew I was never going to need a good amount of muscle to defeat a spirit.
When I saw Primrose ten years ago, she was at her grandfather's mansion, sweating herself at their small dojo in the backyard. My mom would always bring me to their house but not introduce to them formally as I would be instructed to observe the soon to be recruited, Primrose. My first glimpse of her was when she was sparring with a dummy stand, kicking her with her short legs with all her might. She had good form and a drive for perfection. However, she always had this lonely look in her eyes.
The day I was introduced to Prim was also the day I learned of her true abilities. My mother explained to me that the person I am to meet is going to be DoReMi's asset. As a new recruit myself, I was not able to fully understand the scope of my mother's words. I assumed that she was recruited for her extreme physical ability. That was true until I got to see her during her simulation in the laboratory. Being the youngest exorcist in training, I was often brought to the laboratory underground to observe hundreds of whisperers to have an image of our task. Prim never saw me whenever I was observing her. But then even if she would know of my presence, her eyes were dead and I doubt she'd even care. I am actually surprised how she's a lot different now compared to how she was before. I can't help but wonder what changed her.
Although my first interactions with Prim was chaotic as how she described it to be, there was one thing I was sure of for all the years I've been watching over her.
She is undeniably dangerous.
Her physical strength is something to be proud of, but she holds an inner turmoil that drives her gift into a chaotic force that is getting harder to control as she matures.
From the very beginning, I was aware of how my mother had her enlisted in being a Messiah. There was no day that she does not remind me of her scary skills and how one day Prim was going to end all struggle of our society. My mother had several A-ranked exorcists pair up with her to trigger her dormant abilities. She even went and assign her to high-level missions masked as simple clean up missions as to give her the experience she needs once she becomes a Messiah. Commander Olivia Chang is most certainly a scary woman herself.
Now if you think I lived like a freak as I did all those training at an early age, on the contrary, I lived quite normally. I attended a school meant for students with an erratic lifestyle and attended my exorcism training from late afternoon until night time. Prim, on the other hand, lived her life inside DoReMi. She lived on the top floor especially built for the likes of her and attended classes parallel to how she could have attended it outside. The only difference is that most of her training is held at the basement laboratory as opposed to all of the other whisperers who had their training on the upper floors. No wonder she never had friends. Well, she did and I was quite amused that it was a ghost. However, no matter how you look at it, Prim was caged doll, ravished by the promises of the company that she herself understands where her life will end in dull.
The more I observed her from that glass pane looking down on her from the observatory deck of the lab, I can't help but think of what her desires could be. When she's not out for a mission or in class, she'd be in that white-walled observation room that was no more than an isolation chamber. Her body covered with wires stuck on to her arms, chest, and forehead staring into this mannequin day and night. Every day she'd be tasked to at least transport her consciousness into the lifeless doll in front of her and make it move. And every day I'd always end up being bored along with all the other scientists, watching her do nothing. It was all the same, until that one day I was left alone with her.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, I was 12, it was when the staff of the lab had to tend to another case on a different facility inside the building and I was tasked to take over the daily observation record for that period. Way to use the child of the commander. I guess they took advantage of the fact that I was already there. I remember it so well, the way she turned to my direction and glanced at me, staring at me. Her eyes were glum as she gestured to put my hand behind my ear as if I was trying to listen to her. I didn't even know what she was trying to make me do since we were at least a hundred meters apart. And yet, I still did what she told me to. I put my hand behind my ear, not taking my eyes off of her. I see her smile at me and I swear I heard her say "Can you hear me?" loud and clear. My body shuddered. I look at the hand that was holding the back of my ear feeling terrified of what just happened. Telepathy? No. I saw her open her mouth and I heard her with my ears. I immediately put my hand back on and nodded frantically at her. I saw her chuckle then she said, "Watch this." as she turned to the mannequin that had been standing there for as long as I can remember and the next thing that happened made me realize just how talented this girl was. She did not simply make the mannequin move, but she made it walk beside her then made it wave at me. And not just a small wave, but a full arm wave.
I clapped excitedly, harder than I usually do. I had never been this proud of her. She was brilliant. It was then I realized how she had only been keeping her abilities to herself as her act of defiance to whatever had been keeping her from being herself. And it was then, I decided that I will be the one to take her out. I never recorded in the log what she did, I wrote the usual 'no findings' as no one would expect something like that to have occurred. But I remember clearly, how I begged my mother that day that once I finish my studies, I will be paired with Primrose.
"You know, I'm flattered that you aren't struggling as much as you were when you just woke up...but I'm pretty sure this isn't the best time to be resting Vin." said Rem who was standing before me.
Ah...right...I was so lost in thought that I almost forgot that I'm in the middle of my 'physical' training right now tied into this huge boulder while crouched to the ground, in the middle of the forest. To put it simply, as I was running in following the map this idiot gave me, I lost consciousness and got abducted. The moment I woke up, I was already tied up in this huge rock. The main goal is to break free. I have two options to do that: (1) Break the whole boulder or (2) Break the rope tied all over me. As it seems both options are impossible for my physical strength, I ended up dazing off into my memories.
"You know master physical trainer Rem, if this training wasn't soOoOoO advanced, we could have been done ages ago." I said.
He frowned at me. I guess that's his answer then.
He crouched to the ground staring at me and studied my face all over.
"What?" I said, disgusted of his face.
"So...what were you thinking of? You were grinning the whole time earlier. It was creepy."
Ah damn, I was grinning. I don't even remember that memory being a happy one. And yet I was grinning? I scoff, "Nothing special. I just remembered my first memories of that idiot Flower. I bet she doesn't even remember it."
"Hmm.." he hummed, "Why do you think she wouldn't remember?"
"Because for that girl, her kicks come flying at you first before her brain starts to function."
Rem bursts into laughter, "That might be true."
See? She's that kind of violent girl.
"But you know Vin," he crosses his legs, finally sitting down, "Prim is pretty smart you know. Pretty AND smart." he emphasizes the last sentence.
Not that I don't know that...the smart part I mean. "And how can you say that? You've only been with her for a day." I said.
His eyes narrow, "I can tell. She's unrefined, but she knows what she wants." Rem smiles.
Now I'm starting to wonder if this guy has finally fallen for her. He sounds like he's head over heels for her already, but then again, I can't be sure with how much of a whack his brain works. Well, he seems pretty normal now, but when Josh was around, he was really creepy.
"Rem, you know this training of yours is way above my level of physical strength." I said.
His face looks surprised, "Really? I don't think so."
You don't thINK SO? Uh..he makes my blood boil.
"You see here buddy, I've been tied up here for an hour now, don't you think you've already figured out that I'm not able to let loose of this?"
He grins, "I think it's about time I tell you about this rock you're tied on." he slowly stands up.
"Wow. And you didn't think of doing that earlier?" I said with a tone of sarcasm.
"What you're wrapped of and tied on to are two special items that are developed especially for Messiahs." he explained touching the boulder, "This rock isn't just any rock. This huge rock is the 'Pride Rock' we call. It senses how you see your self. As long as you doubt your own strength, the rock will get bigger and it will get heavier. The current size and weight of this boulder is equal to how much you doubt yourself."
"WHAT? But how am I supposed to believe in my strength if I know myself my body isn't suitable for physical combat?!"
"I know Sig told you that you will be trained for your weakness. But he never told you what that was, correct?"
Now that he mentions it, I was the one who assumed what it was. All I knew was that I'd be training with Rem for my strength.
I could hear Rem grin, "Your face says it all. You're the type of warrior who does not rely on physical strength and being an exorcist as yourself doesn't need that much of a combat skill either way. You'll have to figure out your true strength for yourself."
My true strength...
"The second special item is this," he touches the rope, "This is devil snare. It tightens when you think too much. I guess you'll figure out how to deal with it. You're smart after all."
Great. So I'm stuck with a boulder that's the size of my doubt and tied on with a rope that tightens when I overthink. Just the right amount of luck that I have...NONE.
"I guess that made you silent." Rem laughs, "You'll have to figure it out soon or you'll never be able to have lunch."
"Hah. Food isn't the first thing in my mind right now. I'll have to get out of here if I want to be able to make it to the mission tonight."
"We'll see about that." Rem said with his face of salty smug.
Exactly how much thinking is overthinking? Wait, am I overthinking about overthinking? I don't think so...the rope isn't tightening after all. Maybe I should figure out my strength. But if Sig wanted me to train for my weakness, why am I supposed to know my true strength? Think Vincent, think!
Okay, but not too much...
My strengths huh...I'm good at puzzles, darts, problem solving and mind games. I guess when it comes to combat I am fairly good with a knife, but then again I'm only good on the defense. Prim can casually give me a lot of hits without even thinking about it. Even without me, I bet she can handle herself.
"Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Chang." Rem yelled out
"What? I'm concentrating you know." I said, uninterested in his banter.
He points at me, "Your boulder just got bigger."
"What?!" Ah shit..no wonder the rope got tighter too. Damn, I guess thinking this way doesn't help. Ugh, I'm starting to lose my train of thought.
Just when I was too busy thinking about myself, I suddenly remembered the feeling I had when I was resonating with Prim. I remember how excruciating it was to maintain with her. She was all over the place and she doesn't even listen which is ironic of her abilities. But then, even when after she fell to the ground, it was as if all that hardship we had on our first resonance did not matter. It was really rough, to be honest, but thanks to her perseverance in making it work, I was finally able to do what I promised myself to do—becoming the exorcist that can be paired with her. I know I wasn't being honest with her. I'm really not honest with her all the time. But if I could just go back to that moment, instead of scolding her, I would have thanked her.
And that's when it hit me. I wasn't weak. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew I had a purpose. If Prim has brute strength that nobody can control, I will be her leash. No, I won't just be that. I will be her light, and guide her back whenever she drives herself into the darkness.
With that, I felt the rope around me fall to my torso and the boulder behind me turned into a pebble. Rem applauded my accomplishment and assisted me back up on my feet.
"I guess you found your true strength." he grinned.
"I did." And it was all thanks to her.
But right when I felt relieved that I finally found my answer, I felt a strong pulsating energy coming from the outside of the forest. The cemetery? Then that could mean...HER!
"That was a big shockwave, huh." Rem calmly commented looking straight at the discolored horizon, "Sig really took this to the next level."
"Rem, this doesn't look good." I said worriedly of what might be happening over there. When I say it doesn't look good, it really does not feel good too. I'm starting to worry if she actually followed my instruction on not removing her limiter. That idiot, I'm going to scold her if she collapses again this time.
I immediately pick up the loosened rope on the ground, coiling it up on my hand.
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Bringing it with me."
"And rescue her? That's impossible! No one can enter Sig's sutra when he's started."
While he was busy blabbering, I quickly wrapped the devil snare all over Rem without him even noticing. I see his face flush in shock. He didn't expect my frontal attack.
"You know Rem, if I had a knife with me right now, I could have assassinated you in a blink."
He flinched, stuttering, "Lucky me then."
"I may not be physically strong, but I'm pretty fast you know." I smiled.
Rem chuckled, "The tables have turned huh. I guess you're the one abducting me now."
"Well, Mr. Chang, where are you taking your hostage to?"
I shook my head, "I believe I won't be taking you anywhere, Rem."
"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to have you take me to my Flower."