"I spoke with Zach." I was lying in bed with my feet hanging on the edge. Alex was seated, his back rested on the wall, his fingers brushing through my hair. "He said that Josh doesn't like me."
"Yeah." He was absent-minded, staring into nothingness again.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Yeah."
"Really?" I swatted his hands from my head and sat down. "What did I say?"
"Yeah."
"The hell?" I muttered under my breath and I stormed out of the bedroom, leaving Alex to his thoughts.
Josh, Zach and Mike were still in the living room, having coffee and watching the evening news. Their eyes flew to me when they saw me slam the door behind me. They did not say anything which I was glad for because I had no intention of talking.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat in the kitchen. I know it's childish for me to just storm out because Alex was too preoccupied with his own little world but I was just sick of people treating me like it was always okay. Even Anna, when we were together, she treated me like shit and I had to endure it. I don't want to endure anymore. I want to be selfish. Would it be wrong?
I fished a cigarette from my pocket and held it between my lips. Then again, I don't even have the right to act the way I did. Alex and I..what was our relationship?
I lit my cigarette and took a long pull.
Two weeks. I have been staying at his house for 14 days, 16 more until the quarantine ends. What have we been doing for the past days? We kiss and make out but we never talked about us, what we were, now and after.
The bedroom door creaked open and Alex dragged his feet out and slumped on the sofa with his friends. I watched him as he closed his eyes and rested his head on Josh's shoulders. I felt a pang in my chest. I was becoming too attached to Alex. I had totally forgotten that I was a guy. I was straight. Was. Until I met Alex. He confused me too much, sexuality and all.
I stubbed the cigarette and disposed of the half empty can of beer I was drinking and went to the bedroom. It was hard ignoring each other because the house was too small and we shared a bed. I crawled in anyway, hugging the blankets and letting sleep claim me.
I didn't dream, which I was glad for. I slept my hangover away but I still didn't feel rested, like I just ran a marathon. I was feeling tired and empty, like the space in bed beside me. It was oddly quiet too. I stood up and stretched my aching arms and opened the door. Then I found out I was alone. The house was empty. No Josh, Zach or Mike. No Alex either.