I graduated high school in 2020, and we all remember that year, and the years that followed. I was supposed to start college after summer break, but well, the world was going crazy, and those plans were delayed. I'd been stressing that I'd be entering college as a virgin, and surrounded by a campus filled with sexually experienced students, somehow they'd all know, and maybe that scared me.
I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself. My name is Grace, I was born and raised in the Midwest, in a town that wasn't too big, or too small. My parents were both grounded people, they provided a stable home for my older brother and myself. We probably verged on being 'boring' but I'll talk more about that in a bit.
I'm 5'4" and weigh 125 pounds, I'd like to lose a few pounds or have the extra weight redistributed if you know what I mean. I've got straight, chestnut-brown hair that reaches to the middle of my back, hazel eyes, fairly standard butt, and boobs. I mentioned I was a virgin, and that was almost entirely due to the fact that I was very self-conscious over a birthmark that I have at the very top of my left thigh, almost the size of a plum. I say I 'was' self-conscious about it, but truthfully, I still am. I suppose I just accepted the fact that there's no getting rid of it and stopped letting it control that part of my life.
Sexually, I'd been greatly enjoying masturbating since forever. I'd never used a vibrator, or a dildo, never used a vegetable from the fridge, or even a hairbrush handle. No, I was able to pleasure myself quite satisfactorily with my hands, so I didn't look for other ways to get off.
Well, there was one way, but I couldn't get past the thought of letting a guy see me naked, and so vulnerable because of my birthmark. I regularly imagined what a penis would feel like inside me, and that was often the focus of my masturbation. I entered a phase where I felt I was older than I should have been to still be a virgin and contemplated breaking my hymen so that I could just act like I'd had sex before, and it wouldn't end up being some kind of big deal. But in the back of my mind, I wanted a guy to do that, I wanted that experience. So I'd quietly masturbate in my room, late at night, or often, in the shower, and my fingers became quite adept at figuring out how to give me body-shaking orgasms.
I wanted a penis to do that to me, but the world was unwinding all around me, and besides, that birthmark was just too ugly to let anyone see.
I made convenient excuses like that.
--
Jared is four years older than me, he wrestled in high school and was really good, but he fell in with some guys that ultimately caused him to lose his spot on the team, and no matter how hard our parents tried, he began slipping away. He graduated, although just barely, and immediately moved in with one of his new friends. They both had jobs working at a gigantic shipping facility that I'm sure you can guess the name of. He was making good money and seemed to me like a bird that had left the nest. My senior year, he came by for dinner one Sunday night and told us that the girl he'd been seeing was pregnant and that he was going to be a Dad.
We sat around the table with the same blank stares, and mouths hung open.
Mom and Dad would be Grandparents, and I'd be an Aunt. It had never even crossed our minds.
A miscarriage ended all of that, and while I wasn't sure at the time how badly that impacted Jared, I knew it did. He never told us that he really wanted to be a Dad, or that it had all been an accident, or that his girlfriend had stopped taking the pill, or if they'd just never used birth control, and nature had decided for the two of them. Regardless, it destroyed their relationship and for the first time in my life, I saw my older brother vulnerable, hurting, and not knowing what to do next. It triggered a kind of unexplained instinct in me, to make sure he was okay. I'd call a lot, I'd go visit him, and just listen to him as he opened up, and couldn't illustrate how losing the baby, and then losing his girlfriend had really impacted him.
It was tough to see him sometimes cry, and when he did, I'd hug him, and tell him that I thought, time would help heal his heart, and that he was just a bit older than me, we both had our entire lives to live, and while there was nothing he could do about the baby, there was a lot he could do about the future. Our talks seemed to help, both of us. It made us closer, closer than we ever had been. We'd hug more often, and for longer times. I'd kiss him on the cheek, or he'd kiss mine when I'd leave his house, and on the drive back home, I'd feel good. I knew spending time with him was helping, both of us. If the world ever righted itself, I'd find myself a guy, and I'd just be honest, and explain I was very sensitive about a birthmark I had, and that I needed someone to help me work past that, the way that I was hopefully helping my brother work past what he was going through.
--
I cooked a big pot of chili and brought it to his place one Sunday, and we hung out and watched the game. Jared and Dad had always been big into sports, Mom was indifferent and I fell somewhere in between. If our team was doing well, I cheered for them, if they were having a bad year, I spent that time in other ways.
Tom was Jared's roommate, and while I was pleasant to him, I never liked him, in fact, I didn't like any of Jared's friends. They seemed like cocky assholes to me, it puzzled me why my brother would have friends like that. Tom had taken some vacation time, unsure if this flu-thing was going to be a big deal or not, he wanted to go sow some wild oats, while he still could. So he had flown with another of their friends to Los Angeles to spend a week out there, hoping to seduce as many 'Babes' as they could. That was fine with me, I could hang out with Jared, and not have to deal with Tom, especially when I'd brought a pot of chili that I knew would get inhaled by his hungry roomie.
The game ended and we hung out on the couch, and as we talked, he asked me if I thought he would have been a good Dad, and that really hit me emotionally. While I tried not to cry, he couldn't help but tear up. I scooted across the couch and we held each other, saying nothing, just being close. It's so twisted, but when we finally let each other go, we both had changed. I don't know why that specific hug had triggered it, we'd hugged, and cried quite a few times since all of this had happened. He looked at me, and it was different, there was something else in his eyes, and I had no way to know, but it felt like I was looking at him differently too.
We looked at each other for what had to have been several minutes silently. I wanted to hug him again and feel that rising heat spread through my body again. It was just a hug and hugging was okay, even if something else that was happening may not have been 'okay'.
"Be right back," he said, and stood, turning away and disappearing into the bathroom.
My very first thought was 'My brother has an erection.' My next thought was 'I gave him that erection.' and my third thought was 'I wonder if he's in there masturbating right now?'
He was certainly in there long enough to, I know I could have gotten myself off pretty quickly at that moment.
I sat back on the couch, and let my mind run free. I suppose I imagined the old cartoons where the character has an angel on one shoulder, telling them to do the right thing, and a devil on the other shoulder, explaining that they should do what they want.
"If he wasn't my Brother..." I thought to myself.
"Grace.." his voice called out.
"What's up?" I asked and turned to see him standing in the bathroom doorway.
"Hey, that chili, and the talk, kind of exhausted me, I wanna lay down for a bit and rest." he said, but it definitely sounded like an invitation.
"Does he want to lay down, or does he want to.." I questioned in my head.
He turned, and walked into his room, saying "You wanna get a bit of rest too?"
On auto-pilot, I was on his bed, the both of us fully clothed, but spooned up. He thanked me again for the chili and the sympathetic ear. I may have made a contended humming noise, and then we were quiet for a time.
I felt his erection hard against my backside a minute later. We both said nothing, and I tried to stay perfectly still. He needed to say something, Anything I could possibly say would be bad. My brain was back in that new mode, and the heat was swelling inside of me again.
He shifted slightly and sighed. I felt his breath on my hair, and then, I knew that doing it would send a signal that struggled with a mountain of conflict, but the primal brain overrode any reason or logic.
I ground back against him.
His arm slipped around me, and pulled me closer, while I almost undulated against my brother's erection. My panties were a hot mess at this point. I could tell you it felt like I was watching this all unfold as if I were out of my own body, but that's not how it was. I realized I was encouraging my brother to fuck me, I wanted him to, but I needed him to control it all.
His leg swept over my thigh, and he may have used some ninja wrestling move on me or something, but in a moment I was on my back and he was on top of me, with our faces very close.
"I know this is wrong Grace. But.." he swallowed and stared at my lips.
I was panting, and my cheeks were flushed while I stared at him, a moment later his lips were on mine, and I felt his mouth open and then my brother had his tongue in my mouth.
My body was reacting the way nature had intended, I wanted to be mated. My vagina was wet, preparing itself to be penetrated, my nipples were stiff and pressed against the material of my bra. If he would have torn my clothes off, and just fucked me at that moment, I couldn't have been more accepting.
Hands found their way to my breasts as our kissing intensified, and then he repositioned himself so that his legs were inside of mine, spreading me apart.
I wanted all of this and more, the birthmark was the furthest thing from my mind.
My sweatshirt was now bunched up around my neck and shoulders, and Jared's hands snaked behind me, unclasping my bra. He stared at my tits for a moment, with a wide grin on his face, and he just said 'Perfect.'
Feeling his mouth on my nipples was unlike what I imagined it would ever feel like. It wasn't worse, just different, feeling the sucking on my sensitive flesh, first one nipple, and then the other. Again, another feeling of 'this is normal, this is natural.' I watched him for a moment, and then closed my eyes and just surrendered myself to the feelings.
My jeans and panties were on the bedroom floor minutes later, and his lips were kissing all around my navel, and working downward, my legs were spread, vulnerable, and my scent was heavy in the air. Had I ever been so messy down there when masturbating? I didn't think so. Finally, after almost teasing me, he kissed the lips of my vagina, very softly and tenderly. Then using his fingers he spread my lips and began licking me, and working to slip his tongue inside of me.
My body was shaking, I wanted to orgasm and was well on my way, but more than that I wanted this feeling to continue. I could get myself off in many ways with my fingers, but this was very different, it was much better. When his tongue rolled across my clitoris, my body lurched upward, and I cried out, but Jared had pulled himself into position with his arms circling my thighs, effectively locking him in place, and while I continued to thrust upward when my body couldn't remain still, he was unshakable, this orgasm could no longer be delayed, and I squealed as my legs shook violently, and then when it was over, I opened my eyes, and saw him still between my legs, with his eyes on mine.
"Was that okay?" he asked.
'Was that okay?' I laughed a little and nodded my head quickly "Much better than okay. My turn to do you."
Jared's dick was similarly unexpected, let me rephrase. I hadn't ever thought about what my brother's dick would look like, so when I saw it, with its bulbous purple head, and thick veiny shaft, it was surprising. The head was covered in a shiny coating of pre-cum that had leaked out while he ate my pussy. When my hand grasped his shaft, I was surprised by the heat, the soft feeling of his flesh, but also how it could be so stiff, and yet feel so soft.
I licked the coating on the head of his dick, and then kissed him there, the way he'd kissed me. I had seen some porn movies, and I understood the fundamentals. Suck, stroke, maintain eye contact, and collect his orgasm either on my face or in my mouth, where it was expected that I would swallow his semen.
Whatever I seemed to do resulted in him making approving noises. After a bit of time (my jaw was aching badly by this point.) I sucked only the head of his dick while I stroked his shaft in my hand. I wanted him to orgasm, just as he's made me orgasm with his mouth, but my primal brain wanted his orgasm to occur inside of me.
Nature stepped in once again.
"Grace, this is incredible, but I really want to fuck you." he moaned.
I was on my back, legs spread, and fearless at this point. Women had been losing their virginity since the beginning of time, I'd be fine. He positioned the head of his dick at my opening and then looked back at me, and kissed me once again, this time I moved my tongue into his mouth, and a moment later I felt his dick pushing its way inside of me. I couldn't focus on kissing him, and what my pussy was feeling completely at the same time, so I let him use his tongue in my mouth and I just focused on what his dick was doing to my pussy. He was in a bit, and obviously again my hymen, then he pressed in more forcefully, and a sharp pain, then burning signaled I was a virgin no more. The full feeling once again became the focus, and soon after, his dick was fully inside of me.
We kissed passionately, and I ground against him, which rubbed my clit against him. I could orgasm like this, he wouldn't even have to move, just keep me filled with his dick.
His lips moved off mine, and I pouted, looking up at my lover, my brother. His mouth moved to speak, then he stopped and put his mouth back on mine. It's impossible to smile like that, but my mouth wanted to.
His movements came just a tiny bit at a time, he'd back out, what felt like almost nothing, and then press back into me. Soon enough I could feel the movements had lengthened, and now I was truly being fucked. I wrapped my legs around his lower back and hooked my feet together as he fucked me.
As his dick moved inside of me, oh how perfect it felt, as if I'd been given some miracle drug, and this was its effect.
My pussy clenched against his cock as he fucked me, and I wanted to orgasm right then, I would have loved to have this feeling last forever, but I wanted it to keep lasting after I orgasmed with a cock inside of me.
It took a while longer, but I got my wish. When my legs stopped shaking wildly, I realized that I had tears on my cheeks, they weren't tears from pain, now I wanted to concentrate on giving my brother the kind of orgasm he's just given me. I reached my hands to his ass, and pulled him toward me, urging him to fuck me, I undulated under him and tried to give him every signal that I wanted him to cum. I was brand new at this fucking thing, but it seemed like I was communicating my desires fairly well.
I had a little warning when he came, he had just been fucking me, just... perfectly, and then he made a noise while we were kissing, and his body stiffened up, he thrust again, then two more, and it felt like he relaxed on top of me. I realized what had happened after it had happened.
As messed up as it sounded, I wanted him to get hard again and keep fucking me.
He rolled off of me, then turned onto his side and lay there watching me. We both had plenty to say, but no idea how to say it.
"Grace, please don't hate me. But that was incredible. I never thought it's just that. Well, that was incredible." he said with a worried smile.
"I had no idea any of that would feel like it did, I think you ruined me, big brother." I said, joking.
"Was I too rough?!" he asked, with widening eyes.
"No, I mean, it was all new, and not how I expected things to feel, and I think I'm hooked now."
"You were a virgin, I didn't know until," he said and gritted his teeth.
"Until I wasn't anymore." I said and snuggled against him. I felt his semen leaking out of me and strangely felt a bit sad about that. I wanted to keep it inside, it felt like I should have kept it inside.
"What happens now?" he asked, uncertain.
"I want us to keep doing this, I've got a lot of catching up to do big brother." I answered and gave him a quick, naughty kiss with a bit of tongue to emphasize my request.
"You keep calling me 'big brother' after we just finished having sex." he said, one of his eyebrows arched.
"It makes it feel more intimate, and you have to admit Jared, what we just did was pretty fucked up, but I don't have any regrets at all, you were incredible," I said honestly.
"I know I should feel terrible, and talk about how I'm older, and shouldn't have let things go how they went, but that would be a lie. What we just did, I haven't felt this good in forever 'little sister'" he said, with an emphasis on the 'little sister'.
"I want to spend the night, and I want us to fuck more." I said, I wanted him to be absolutely sure that I didn't regret anything, and in fact, I just wanted more.
I stood up on shaky legs, went into the bathroom, and used some tissues to wipe his semen off of me. I toyed with the idea of tasting it but decided my first taste would come directly from the source. When I finished in the bathroom, I walked back into Jared's bedroom, and he was sleeping, I snuggled up against him and fell asleep thinking of how amazing he'd made me feel.
--
We woke a few hours later, and I felt fantastic. It was almost like having lost my virginity had lifted a weight from my shoulders, and I recognized that it had altered me a bit, maybe it was a bit more confidence, or something similar. Jared said that we should go grab a bite to eat somewhere before the nearby restaurants closed for the night, someplace that was still opened, and not shuttered till the world got back to normal, so we dressed, (well, I left my panties off, they were a mess) and we went to a Mexican place that Jared loved.
We got sat at a booth, and after sitting across from each other for a minute or so, I got up and signaled that I wanted to sit next to him. He slid out of the booth, let me sit down, and then sat next to me. Nature was calling again, I think I wanted anyone curious to see him as my guy, and not as a family member. We ate, and I slipped my hand into his lap, and slowly stroked along his hardening cock. More signalling 'Brother, I want you to fuck me again.' It turned me on incredibly to see him struggle to maintain his calm. He leaned close and kissed me as I massaged his cock, except, in a way, it was my cock now, wasn't it?
"Grace, when we get back to my place.." he whispered.
"I want you to cum in my mouth." I responded.
"Yeah, yeah, that would be really good." he said and tried to focus on his food.Sucking my brother's cock was exciting, but challenging. I needed practice and to teach my jaw to relax, I assured him that I was going to practice as much as was needed to be able to fit all of his dick into my mouth.
Soon afterward, we were fucking once again, this time I rode him, and he held my tits as I bounced on his cock. I enjoyed this position because I could move however felt best for me, and by adjusting a few angles, I could make things very interesting. I rose off of him, and he bent me over and fucked me in the doggy-style position, and that too was interesting, and while it felt like he was able to fit more of his dick into me, I didn't enjoy it as much as when we could fuck and kiss at the same time. We switched back to the position we'd originally had sex in, only this time Jared pushed a pillow under my ass, and that really made a difference. This time, he pulled my legs back to where my calves were resting against his shoulders, and like this, I felt him deepest inside of me.
"Fuck, oh fuck that's good unghh.." I moaned, it was the first thing I said while we had sex, I was staring him right in the eye, watching sweat forming on his brow as he drove into me. I felt a strange mixture of love and surrender, I knew there was no going back to whatever normal was after all of this. I made it easier to accept because there were no guarantees the world would ever go back to being normal. If we all died, I'd have at least known what sex felt like, and ironically, it was with someone that I wasn't worried about laughing at my birthmark. There was something else going on in the back of my mind as well, I knew that I was taking care of him, giving him pleasure, and a break from how upset he had become with what had happened recently.
Jared's eyes squeezed shut, and he hesitated for a moment, and then slammed his hips forward, again, silently, as his cock emptied inside of me. My legs unfolded, and his mouth found mine once again. We lay there together until his cock slipped out of my pussy, with my ass elevated by the pillow, it allowed for a better angle of penetration, but also it allowed his cum to remain inside of me. As our tongues played together, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted to give him a child, if there would be a world left after all of the craziness, there would need to be people to carry on. It's silly to think now, but I had no idea if the world would ever return to normal, this giant question made it much easier to behave in unconventional ways.
--
Quite a while later, after I cleaned up in the bathroom, I raced back into bed, and under Jared's warm quilt. His body heat quickly warmed me, and we lay together quietly for a time. I felt my eyelids drooping when he spoke.
"I've never seen you like this, this has changed you somehow."
"I've never felt like this big brother." I said, grinning, though he couldn't see.
--
"Tom doesn't get back till Sunday night, so stay here with me." Jared said while pushing spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth.
I was pouty, up early on a Monday morning, and he was running late and had to rush in to work. I wanted him inside me again. Waking up the morning after losing your virginity gives you a different perspective. I wanted more sex, I felt this strange new desire to feel my vagina filled.
"Jared, there's a lot of people working there, and what happens if you get sick?" I whined.
"Essential Worker, I'm just glad I still have a job, don't worry about me, no flu is going to put me into the ground." he said and finished the last of his cereal, rising up, and rinsing the dish in the sink.
"Leave it, I'll wash it." I said, still unhappy.
He turned and smiled at me, then pulled me close and kissed me the way I suppose lovers kissed. Now I really wished he'd stay home and fuck me all day.
"Such a good wife." he said with a grin.
My brain crashed, then attempted to reboot. Nature, calling once again.
"You know I'd take care of you." I said as I snuggled into his shoulder.
"Grace, you have no idea how well you've taken care of me, and I want to make it up to you, I just haven't figured out how to just yet." he said softly.
It felt silly to tell him that he'd made me a woman, that was ridiculous right? I was a woman before he fucked me, I just hadn't yet had sex till that point. But now, I knew what it felt like, and with someone I was very comfortable with, someone I didn't want to hide from.
"I gotta go, stay, mi casa su casa and all that stuff.." he said and gave me a quick kiss and was out the door.
I cleaned the cereal dish, then the rest of the glasses that had collected in the sink. Then I gathered up my messy panties, and any other dirty clothes and started a load of laundry. It felt nice doing this, and while I was no fan of running around and cleaning up an entire house, that I was doing it for Jared, made it something that I enjoyed. I busied my mind with everything that had happened over the last 24 hours. All of it added up, and none of it did at the same time.
We could never tell our parents, in fact, we couldn't tell anyone. But we couldn't just pretend that we hadn't had sex, multiple times and that I very much wanted more with him. I worried that he'd have the whole day away from me, and convince himself that what we'd done was a mistake, and I thought of ways to convince him it wasn't a mistake at all.
The entire house was cleaned, and the laundry was finished and put away before noon, I found myself in bed, exploring how my pussy felt with my fingers. I imagined him towering above me once again, with all the lights in the room on, as his cock worked in and out of my pussy. I held my phone as well as I could and snapped several shots of two fingers buried in my pussy, decided which one looked best, and then I sent Jared the photo.
"OMG, You're out of control! The day has been dragging by, and I can't stop thinking about you, I can't wait to get home."
"Why? What happens when you get home?" I texted, teasing him.
"First, I pull you close and taste your lips again, and feel your softness against my body, then I take your hand, and pull you to our bedroom, next I caress your beautiful breasts, then I make you cum with my tongue, and finally we have sex again, in a way I can see your beautiful face when whichever of us finishes first." I read his text, and breathed heavily, working my fingers in and out of my pussy. This was different, not the rubbing clitoris masturbation I'd been used to forever. I wanted to be penetrated, I wanted Jared, but I'd have to wait, and I was desperate.
"Our bedroom." I sent back, I'd resist my body's demand for an orgasm, it would make our sex better when he got home.
"Oops." his reply came.
"Your bedroom, or our bedroom? What did you mean?" I hesitated for a few minutes before I sent it.
"Hey, really not trying to leave this hanging, but I have to get back to it, let's talk about that before I seduce you when I get home." he sent.
"You already have seduced me big brother."
"Love you little sister." he sent, and I wondered if he meant that the way siblings would typically mean, or if he meant something more. We had never referred to each other as 'big brother' and 'little sister' until yesterday, and I'd started it, as an almost naughty way of reminding Jared that he was fucking his sister. So it made it more difficult to know what he really meant by that least text.
I dressed and drove home and talked to my Mom, explained that I'd be staying with Jared, till his roomie came back from vacation, such that it was. I didn't want him home alone, and feeling depressed, and that was true. I left out the bit about me having sucked his dick, how he'd taken my virginity, and how we'd spent a good chunk of yesterday and last night fucking.
I figured I could keep that information to myself.
I packed a bag and added a few more makeup items to my purse, and then some toiletries. I opened the bathroom sink cabinet and started counting in my head, I wouldn't start my period till after Jared's roommate returned, so I didn't bring any pads with me. I sat on the toilet and let my mind wander once again, and it's strange but there was a very distinct mental state I could identify when thoughts like this entered my head. I imagined my brother impregnating me, and my breasts swelling as my tummy did. I didn't think about the complexities of something like that, only that it resonated with me. I knew he'd be a great Dad. I'd let him cum inside of me multiple times in the last 24 hours, and I had never been on birth control, after all, how many virgins are on birth control? I supposed Jared didn't know that. I had to figure out how to have that discussion in a way that didn't start out with 'I want you to make me pregnant.'
Eighteen is too young to have a baby, but the world had turned upside down. Maybe that's what it was, maybe the uncertainty of not knowing if I'd be around a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, nobody could even fathom. I know that Jared had been so alive when he told us that him and his ex were expecting. I think that I partially wanted to put that light back into his eyes, but also, my own uncertainty played a role. At the end of the day, explaining how I got pregnant, to living parents, in a world that had recovered, seemed a lot less scary than considering a dead planet.
My pussy was getting wet more frequently now, since I'd had sex, and knew I'd be having more. The thought entered my mind to masturbate right there on the toilet, but again, I resisted and wanted my first orgasm of the day to happen with my brother.
I finished up in the bathroom, collected my bags and kissed my Mom as I left.
"Grace, is everything okay? I mean, with you?" she said, looking at me almost sideways.
"I'm good Mom, I really liked hanging out with Jared, he really is a sweet guy. I wish things would have stayed good here between you and Dad and him." I said sadly.
"You know we still love him dearly Sweetheart, he just started spending so much time with those friends, and well, anyway, I'm so happy you've been there for him. I know he must feel terrible." she said and smiled.
Driving back to Jared's I noticed fewer cars on the road, and a dark feeling formed in the pit of my stomach, maybe things really were about to get much, much worse.
--
We lasted longer than either of us expected when Jared got home that afternoon. He'd brought some takeout and we hung out on his couch and ate, chatting in between bites.
"So, I've been thinking." he said and kept his eyes on his flatscreen, which was very powered off.
"Oh?" I responded and stuffed a few french fries in my mouth.
"I want you to move in Grace. Tell Mom and Dad it's temporary, tell them you're just helping me through all the shit that happened, and it would be true, it's not a lie, move in Grace."
"Okay." I said, and chewed.
"Really?" he asked, and finally turned and looked at me.
I nodded and said nothing.
"Our bedroom." he said and smiled warmly.
A while later, after our food had digested, he led me into 'our bedroom' and we made love. It was silly to pretend I didn't love him, more than a brother. Everything he'd been through, and all that we'd unpacked, emotionally made pretending that there wasn't more than just fucking happening an insult. The fucking was incredible, but making love was something else entirely.
Nature was knocking on the door.
My brother came in my mouth that night, and I swallowed it all, the taste wasn't great, there, I said it. But it wasn't so awful that I'd stop, A few moments with that taste in my mouth was worth it for the way he'd look at me afterward.
By Wednesday, I was settled into my role of being my brother's wife. I cooked for him, kept the house clean, I took care of him sexually, and he loved me harder than I thought was possible. He doted on me in a way that kept me perpetually giggling.
Thursday, I decided that I wanted Jared to be the first guy to experience all of me, completely. I drove to the drugstore and bought an enema kit, and a clear bottle of lube. I imagined on the drive there that it would be embarrassing, to stand at the counter, with some old lady looking down her nose at me. But it was anti-climactic, and the woman at the counter couldn't have been more than five years older than me, and seemed utterly disinterested that my purchase clearly indicated that I'd be having anal sex.
I had no expectation that I'd enjoy it, but I wanted Jared to have me completely. I believed that anything I saved for someone else, someone not yet known, seemed almost like a betrayal. He hadn't so much as touched me back there and certainly hadn't asked if he could fuck me like that, which I thought would make my volunteering it more meaningful. If anal sex was anything like the experience of filling your bowels with obscene amounts of water, and then almost uncontrollably expelling said water, I felt even more convinced it wouldn't be enjoyable, but I wanted to be squeaky clean for my brother, and I wasn't at all interested in ever experiencing his cock with a condom on it. So, after multiple flushes, I was confident that there was no chance for any messy accidents. I steeled myself and promised that no matter how much it hurt, Jared would take that virginity from me as well, and all the pain in the world would be okay, because I wanted, no, needed him to have all of me.
As soon as he walked through the door, he stopped in his tracks, staring at me wearing one of his work shirts and nothing else, a single button kept my tits from flopping out, and he strode write up and kissed me deeply.
"I have to ask a favor." I said, between breaths.
"Anything," he answered, and his tongue was back in my mouth a moment later.
He tried to talk me out of it, he said that guys only ever wanted that kind of sex to feel like they'd conquered their woman. I had to explain that even if it didn't feel great, it meant a lot to me that HE would be the first one, and maybe only one ot ever have that part of me.
He confessed he'd never had anal sex before, and was worried he'd hurt me, and that would crush him.
I wouldn't be swayed, and so after a few different position changes, it turned out that laying on my side, and trying with all my might to relax worked the best. It almost felt like being constipated in reverse, and then once the head of his cock was inside of my ass, it got easier. He was so concerned with hurting me, that even after I'd taken his full length, he moved so gingerly that I knew he'd never come. The feeling, at the pace he was keeping felt, well, I felt stuffed, it wasn't nearly as physically pleasurable as having him in my pussy, but there was something else. I felt empowered that I had surrendered every part of myself to my brother. I finally felt like I was truly his, and that he was mine. I wanted to stop thinking of him as my brother, but my brain couldn't disconnect like that.
I encouraged him to fuck my ass, to come inside me, the way he always did when fucking my pussy and I may have told a few little white lies to make it happen, but in the end, he groaned and left a hot load deep in my bowels, a load that didn't dribble out as soon as I stood to use the bathroom.
I brought him a wet washcloth and watched amused as he wiped his dick off. Thankfully there was only evidence of his semen, and while I would have licked him clean if he'd been in my pussy, this was just a bridge too far.
"Do you think you'll want to do that again?" I asked with a grin. In truth, it wasn't horrible and could imagine what orgasming would be like, with his dick in my ass. I felt convinced I wouldn't be able to cum from anal sex, but if I used my hand on myself while he fucked me. I could imagine that ending in an explosive orgasm, if for no other reason than the very 'bad girl' nature of having anal sex.
"If you liked it, yeah, it felt really different than your pussy, not better, so don't even.. But it was different."
"Tighter for sure." I said, wondering if that was what he meant.
"Tighter, but not better, don't think about it like that. If you said you never wanted to do that again, it wouldn't bother me." he assured me.
"But I do want to do that again, I need to make sure that you have all of me."
"I have all of you Grace, it's plenty." he said.
"Next time, we need a vibrator, I've never used one, I imagine that would be intense." I pondered.
"Seriously?" he asked, lifting that eyebrow of his.
"Yeah, not like, a gigant vibrating dildo or anything, I'm quite happy with your big cock, not, I just mean a harmless vibrator that I could use on my clit while we did stuff. Does that sound like something you'd like?" I looked over at him and asked.
He grinned and moved his head between my legs, and licked my pussy until I screamed.
--
Friday came, and I got a call around lunchtime from Jared, his voice was shaking, and he told me that Tom had gotten sick while in California and that he'd been quarantined, his parents had called Jared and explained that Tom might not be back for quite a while, and said they wanted to send him Tom's share of the rent and utilities until Tom was well enough to return.
This was the first case of someone we both knew getting sick.
As much as I didn't want to go back home after Tom was scheduled to return, I'd have preferred that than have him get sick. My brain screamed out that I wasn't taking things as seriously as I should have been.
I drove home Saturday morning and explained to my parents that Tom had gotten sick, and that they didn't know if it was what had turned the world upside, or something else, but he had been quarantined, and there was no estimate on when he'd return. Mom asked if I had decided to stay with Jared until Tom returned and I explained that we'd discussed it, and both wanted to do that. But that we'd visit as often as possible, and wondered if they'd force any kind of curfew, or no travel orders. Dad said that he'd fill the truck with food and drop it off at Jared's that same day.
That night, after we finished stocking up what would amount to several months worth of meals at Jared's house, we snuggled together in bed, and for the first night since he'd taken my virginity, we didn't have sex. We were both scared, and I asked what his options were to stop going in to work, I told him that we could both move back into Mom and Dad's place (it was no longer my place too, my place was where Jared was.) and he chuckled and said 'back to our old rooms like nothing had ever happened until the one night Mom or Dad wake up in the middle of the night and here us moaning in the same room.'
"No little sister, this is where I live, and as long as I have a job to go to, I'll go to it. Besides, the way I figure it, the more I'm there, the more the higher-ups will see how devoted I am, and who knows? Maybe I'll get a promotion." he said grinning.
"Yeah, when too many people get sick, or die, right?" I shivered.
I had bad dreams of a world that had changed, maybe not able to fully return to normal. I struggled out of bed, feeling crampy, and a trip to the bathroom confirmed that I'd gotten my period. It was a bit early, but I knew it had come as soon as I woke.
It wasn't fair, we didn't have sex the previous night, and now. I just wanted to feel close with Jared, I needed him inside me, that had become the one part of my life where I felt like things were wonderful.
I stuffed some folded up tissue into my panties and decided to run up to the drug story before Jared woke, but when I walked back into 'our bedroom' he was awake and watching me.
"I have to go to the drugstore, I need some female stuff." I said, feeling sorry for myself.
"Text me what you need, I'll go." he said and pulled himself out of bed."No, it's embarrassing for a guy, I'm fine, I'll go." I said.
"No, lay down relax, I'll get you an aspirin, you want a hot water bottle? Cramping?" he asked.
Apparently, Jared had been through this before.
He doctored me, tucked me into bed, kissed me softly, and then was out the door and back before I knew it. He had brought six boxes of the pads I used, and two boxes of tampons.
"I've never used those." I said, with a look of horror on my face.
"There was a lady there, she said women had been buying up stuff like this. I bought what you wanted and she said these work really well to so, we'll trade them for pork and beans if the food runs out." he laughed, and that made me laugh too, though I wondered if it would ever get to that.
Jared took care of me in a way that I couldn't have imagined. He wouldn't let me do anything, and every morning he'd made sure I had food to snack on either near the couch or 'our' bed. He'd come home in the afternoon and cook for us, and I fell so much more deeply in love with him, and it regularly made me cry. Finally, it was over, and I led my brother into our bedroom, pulled his clothes off, and thanked him in the best way I knew how to. I had no idea how badly I would miss sex, or maybe I had no idea how badly I'd miss sex with him.
The next morning I was up early and made Jared a simple breakfast of eggs and toast. We'd decided to try to limit how much money was being spent on food, but also to buy as much as we could so long as it had longer shelf lives. So pancakes and oats were high on the list, dehydrated milk, flour, and other items that made me question if we were living in a warzone. The idea that food might one day not be available in stores seemed impossible to imagine.
"Hey, I don't know where you're keeping your pills, or if you can get like, a year-long supply or anything like that, but we should get in front of that, in case that kind of thing gets scarce, you know? I can imagine a lot of couples staying home these days and just having a lot of sex hahah." he said.
"I'm not on the pill." I answered.
"Grace.." he said, staring at me.
"Why would I have been? It's not like I decided to hang out with my big brother and start fucking him you know?" I said shaking my head and realizing this conversation was finally going to happen.
"Grace, you could get pregnant."
"I want to get pregnant big brother. I want it for you, as much as I want it for me. You were cheated out of it before, and I'm scared I might not ever get the chance again, and yes Jared, I want you to make me pregnant, and don't worry, I'll never tell Mom or Dad about us, I'll just say, if it even happens, that it was someone I met, and it's over, so stop looking at me like that, just let me have this. I'm scared, and something keeps telling me this is what we both need."
That night was the second night since we'd been together that we didn't have sex.
I wanted it more than any other time, I wanted him to nod, kiss me, and then put a baby inside of me. To reassure me that the world would go back to normal, and things would all work out, and that somehow, maybe we'd have to move somewhere far away, but that somehow we'd have a baby or babies, and we'd raise them together, and live happily ever after. We'd even get a dog and a white picket fence.
The next morning I had eggs and biscuits cooking when Jared walked into the kitchen and pulled me backward against him, he kissed me tenderly, and I felt my life on pins and needles, this would be where he'd talk sense to me, and either tell me we had to stop fucking, or I'd need to go on the pill.
"Good morning Beautiful," he said quietly.
"Good Morning big brother." I said back.
"I watched a video, so it's about mid-way through your cycle when it's most likely to happen." he asked.
"Yeah, but I just stopped, so, you don't have to worry."
"Little sis, I know you're a grown woman, I know I'm not talking to a dumb kid. But I need you to really think about this. Your life will change forever, I mean, until the day you die. You have to be ready for that, and as fucked up as it sounds, you have to be ready if something happens like what happened with, you know.." he said with a soft, sad voice.
"I know the world is crazy, but Jared, if things were like they always had been, I'd feel like this. I feel like you were cheated, and the way your eyes were so alive when you told us that you were going to be a Daddy, and that got taken away. I.. I want to give you that again. I keep feeling this strange urge, this draw that I can't really explain, but it feels like my body is telling me that I need this too, I don't know if it's just because we're... together"
"Make a list today, while I'm at work. Write out all of the good that could come of something like this, and then write out all of the bad things that might happen, and we'll talk again tonight, alright?" he said, and waited.
I nodded, and knew any words would come out broken and cracked, so I remained silent.
--
The conversation that night lasted less time than I imagined it would. By the end of it, we agreed that if I became pregnant, we'd celebrate. But that we wouldn't make extra efforts like taking my temperature to determine most my most fertile times, or not having sex for days in advance in the hopes of Jared being able to 'save up' a bunch of sperm.
It affected sex between us, but not in a bad way. I think we both simply understood that I might get pregnant as a result from the sex we were having, that there was nothing preventing nature from taking it's course. For my part, I was very much at ease with that possibility. Jared didn't talk about it past that discussion, and I think he maintained a 'Oh wow, well we knew it might happen!' kind of attitude. My orgasms were more powerful, and I imagined my vagina sucking his sperm into my womb every time he orgasmed inside of me. It made me feel more womanly than I could describe. I deeply wanted to have a baby.
About a week later, Jared came home from work and had a big grin on his face.
'What? You look like you robbed a bank and got away with it!' I laughed.
'Better...' he said smugly.
'Spill!' I kept laughing.
"Who's got two thumbs and got promoted to line supervisor today?"
'NO WAY!' I cried out and started running at him,
'THIS GUY!' he bellowed out, pointing at himself with his thumbs.
I launched up onto him and wrapped my legs around his waist kissing him and I pulled myself tightly against him.
We danced around the kitchen like kids, and then he pulled me close again and kissed me deeply, breaking after time.
"I brought us a surprise too." he said slyly.
"It's not a surprise to you, is it?" I puffed out my chest and crossed my arms in front of me.
He reached into his pocket and produced a little pink box, and handed it to me.
"Personal Bullet Vibrator" the branding said.
"Oh you wicked man." I said, licking my lips.
--
I remember crying out, and then collapsing forward, and waking with drool at the side of my mouth.
"So, it's safe to say you like our new toy?" Jared asked as he knelt behind me, with his very hard, very reddened cock jutting out from his groin.
I grinned awkwardly, wiped my mouth off, then grabbed the shaft of his cock and sank as much of him into my mouth as I'd been able to manage. I hollowed my cheeks, and gently squeezed his balls, and less than a minute later I was gulping his cum.
I wiped the corner of my mouth again, and smiled up at him saying "Get hard again and fuck my ass while I keep that thing on my clit."
Fucking had returned, sometimes it was beautiful, passionate love, and other times, like tonight it was just raw sex. A bit later, he held my hips as his cock slammed into my ass. I felt like an animal and let that tiny little bullet push me over the edge again. I fell asleep that night feeling like I'd somehow leveled up. It doesn't get more depraved than hoping your brother gets you pregnant, but that's what it felt like. I loved the sex we had, and now, fucking, really fucking, activated some wicked part of my brain.
I woke Jared in the morning with a blowjob and did every day after that as well.
I made a point to send my man off to work with a smile on his face, and after he was gone, I lay back in our bed and made myself cum too. I saved the vibrator for when we were together, and we didn't always use it, but when we did, it made us both very, very happy.
Jared came home that night, and said that Tom had gotten a bit worse, and that they had moved him to a local hospital. His lungs weren't processing oxygen in the normal way, and while he wasn't in critical condition, and he didn't need the use of a respirator, they wanted to keep a close eye on him, in case he worsened. Jared had thanked Tom's parents for calling him with the news, and made it clear that they were to stop sending him money to cover Tom's portion of the rent and utilities, that he was financially able to handle things, and that they should use the extra money to make sure they were stocked on food and supplies.
No matter how hard we tried to shut the crazy world out, it had a way of always creeping back in.
That night we made love and left fucking for another time.
Life went on like this. I'd settled into being my brother's 'wife' and had come to really enjoy doing my part, taking care of him, although he had the hardest time letting me do all of the housework. He'd do the dishes after we ate dinner, he'd take care of keeping the toilet and shower cleaned. He fixed things around the house, and I fixed any erections he had.
--
I knew days before I really knew, it was that strange communication with my body I guess. But I wanted to be sure, and while Jared was at work, I made a trip to the drugstore.
When he got home later that day, I met him at the door and kissed him.
"I think I'm pregnant big brother." I said with a smile.
"We should find out for sure little sister." he answered, a mixture of excitement and fear in his voice.
I nodded and walked to the kitchen counter with the EPT waiting in its packaging.
"I wanted us to find out together." I said, my voice shaking.
"Are you late?" he asked.
"Not late enough to be 100% sure, but.."
He nodded.
We went into the bathroom, and then a few minutes later we were both crying tears of joy.
Nature had kicked the door in.
We could only celebrate with ourselves. Who could we tell? It made us closer.
We made love that night too, and it seemed like we fucked less, and made love more often. It felt like fucking was left for those nights, or days where we had aggression that needed to be released.
I was carrying my brother's child, and I couldn't have been a happier woman.
"You need to see a Doctor, we need to figure some things out. I've got to get you on my insurance at work." Jared said.
"Can you do that?" I asked.
"I hope so, don't worry we'll figure it out." He said, and pulled me close.
A week later we were still waiting to see what needed to be done to have me added to Jared's medical insurance and so we made an appointment at Planned Parenthood. Things went well enough but Jared had to wait in the car while I went inside. They were only seeing patients and no family members, it was probably easier but I felt a bit alone following the nurse back into the exam room by myself. I wanted Jared with me.
It ended up taking some quick talking, and some creative form-filling but I was added to Jared's insurance almost a month later.
We were at Mom and Dad's for dinner a few Sundays later, sharing news of our worlds, Dad had explained that several friends from where he had worked had gotten sick, but so far nothing too serious. Jared discussed Tom's medical situation and promised that he was being extra careful at work, wearing his mask, and washing his hands constantly, and now that he was a supervisor, he didn't have to handle countless shipments every day. While some people got sick where he worked, none had developed serious problems, although a few were taking a long time to recover, and he shared that he thought this what was happening with Tom.
Mom would regularly glance over at me, and quietly watch me for a few moments, before looking back over to Jared, or Dad and rejoining the conversation.
That scared me.
As the evening ended, Mom filled several plastic containers of leftovers for us. She'd asked if I had planned on staying with Jared until whenever Tom was well enough to return, and I said that had been the plan.
'Grace, help me with the leftovers Dear' she said.
Dad and Jared continued talking work stuff, with my Dad drumming it into his head to keep distance from the line workers, and if one so much as sneezed, he needed to go home and sleep till he felt better.
I held the containers as Mom carefully filled them, both of us strangely quiet. I felt bile rising up in my throat, convinced she new that Jared and I had been having sex since that Sunday I brought the pot of chili over.
"Grace, are you okay?" she asked quietly.
"Mom?" I asked.
"Are you okay Dear?" she repeated herself.
"I don't know what you mean." I squeaked out.
She stared at me, with what seemed like a strained look on her face, and said nothing.
"Grace, you ready?" Jared called out.
"I love you Mom." I said, gave her as much of a smile as I could manage, and went and kissed Dad before I followed Jared out to the car.
--
"Jared, Mom knows about us." I sobbed as we rounded the corner of our parent's street.
"What?!!" There's no way, why do you think that?" he said, struggling to keep his eyes on the road, and not on me.
"She asked if I was okay, like several times and had this look on her face." I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Grace, we don't know for sure why she asked that, but listen to me, I need you to focus, and listen to exactly what I'm going to say, okay?"
I kept sobbing, and nodded.
"If she somehow knows, if she really knows, I'm going to tell her that I forced you, and that you were afraid what would happen to me if you told anyone, you aren't in any trouble Grace, do you understand?"
"Jared I'm pregnant, that's the definition of trouble."
"We have to be calm and think this through, we don't know what she knows, she's probably worried why you aren't living there anymore." he said, trying to sound logical.
"I don't know." I stammered.
"We can stop doing what we're doing." he blurted out.
"It's too late big brother, I'm having a baby." I began sobbing again.
We made it home, and put away the leftovers, the rest of the drive had been mostly silent, and that gave us both time to think.
As messed up as it sounded, I needed him to lead me into our bedroom and make love to me. I needed to feel him inside me again, to know again how right it felt to be with him, that what we felt for each other couldn't be anything bad. Part of my brain reasoned that I wanted as much of him as I could have before it might end, what if my parents sent the police, what if he were arrested, what if?
Instead, we lay together in bed, and worried.
In the morning, I woke my brother with a blowjob, the same way I'd been doing for a while.
He let it happen, and after I swallowed his semen, and pulled me close, and assured me everything was fine. I made us breakfast, kissed him as he left for work, and sat on the couch and worried myself sick until Jared walked in the door a little before noon, hours earlier than his normal time to get home.
--
"Is everything okay? Are you okay? Are you sick?" I cried out and felt my heart dropping out of my chest.
The serious look on his face said everything and nothing. Something not good anyway.
"I'm not sick, sit, let's talk." he said.
"Now I'm sick." I said and wanted to vomit.
"Mom knows." he said, and looked at the floor.
"I knew it." I said, and felt numb everywhere.
"I called off work, then called Mom and asked if I could come by and talk. When I got there, she was at the kitchen table and had been crying. I told her that you were worried, that she'd asked about you, and had a scared look. She nodded and then just came right out and asked me 'Have you two been doing anything that you shouldn't be doing?' I asked her what she thought we were doing, and she told me that you looked pregnant, not that your belly had grown, but that you 'looked' pregnant. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. She asked if Tom was really sick and still in California, and prayed that he was okay, and it was his because if it was mine, it would break her heart forever." he stopped, and choked back tears.
I couldn't add more than a single thought together at a time, instead, dozens of them came at me all at the same time, and they were all bad.
"What.. did you tell her?" I almost whispered, not wanting to hear the answer.
"I told her the truth." he said and shook his head side to side like he was shrugging off something that had attacked him. "I told her that I should have known better and that it was my fault. That you were only coming by to make me feel better, to keep my company, and take my mind off all that had happened, and that when it happened, I should have had the sense to stop it before I let myself go anything further. I told her we are both worried about the world, and what's happening to it, we can't tell what's around the corner, and it felt okay to be with each other, and work through all of the questions, and fears together, and that at some point, we talked about how if you got pregnant, then it felt like that was what was supposed to happen. I told her that in spite of everything, this was all on me and that I'd turn myself into the police in the morning, and confess that I forced all of this on you, and she broke down and told me not to do that, that she couldn't lose her son, and that if I did that, she'd lose her daughter as well."
"So what does she want you to do?" I asked.
"She said.. She wants me to take care of you." tears fell from both of our eyes.
She's not happy Grace, and she swore she'd never tell Dad, and that obviously, we need to figure out how to make the rest of what we have work, but that she won't interfere. She told me if I didn't take care of you and our baby, that all bets were off."
"What about Dad?" I asked.
"I don't know Grace, I really don't know." Jared said, shaking his head.
--
In the end, Dad was never forced to deal with what we'd done. As much as he preached to Jared about staying away from the other workers, and keeping his hands clean, he got sick less than a month later, it hit him like a truck, and before they could do much, he was gone. Mom took it as well as she could, and while she never said that she was happy Dad never had to deal with what we'd done, we both believed she felt that way.
Shawn weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces when he was born healthy, just a week before he was due. That was late 2020, Shawn's little brother Michael arrived just three months ago. I said earlier that I had tried to see Jared as my man, instead of my brother, and it took time, but that's how I see him now. It would be too difficult to see him the way I used to. We live in a new town, and the world hasn't gotten back to normal, but it's not nearly as unknown as it used to feel.
I've asked myself if I could take it all back, would I do anything differently, and of course, I wouldn't. I have a family of my own now, with a man that I love very much, who loves me very much, and a couple of little ones that are the world to us. Not everyone can script out their futures, and I know things could have ended up so very different for all of us.
We take one day at a time and are thankful for who and what we have.
So there it is, my confession, or my story, I'll let you decide.