Well, I'm back."
"And I see you're finally trying to do something with that beard other than just let it grow out. Did you hear about Chad and I?"
I just nodded. "Tough break."
"I'm actually really happy I ran into you. I know we've had our differences before but I'm really feeling lost and alone right now. I was hoping we could be friends like we used to be before we dated."
"If you want." I wasn't exactly sure how it was that we'd been friends before the relationship but I wasn't going to argue.
"Thanks. You're a good guy. I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. I am. You have to believe me."
"Ok. No worries. I believe you."
"Thanks."
"And I did hear about the baby. I don't know what the deal is with you and Chad but you know, so long as you understand that there are limits, I don't mind helping out a little bit if you need something small."
"Really. I would actually, really, really appreciate that." She almost sounded like she'd start crying when she said it and then she came close to me and hugged me again but much tighter this time.
Just then Shenhua came over to us. "Hey, don't you think this would look great on you?" she said as she gave me a denim jacket with a fake fur collar. Yeah, that wasn't really my style. How to tell her without hurting her feelings?
"Who's this?" my ex asked.
"Oh. Of course. This is Shenhua, my girlfriend."
"Girlfriend? What?" my ex said as she pushed herself away from me and staggered back.
"Yes. Girlfriend." I said. Then I added with a hint of sarcasm, "Is that ok with you?"
"So you're just one of these shitty guys who can't get a real woman so you run off and get some subservient Asian bimbo who you can treat like a slave, is that it? You disgust me. I never, NEVER, want to EVER see you again."
"Ok." I said without flinching. "Bye then."
My ex stormed off and Shenhua was standing there next to me looking puzzled. "Who that?"
"She's my ex girlfriend."
"You date her?"
"Dated, past tense."
"Oh. Ok. Who's Ted?"
"What?"
"You have a brother named Ted?"
"No. What are you talking about?"
"Never mind. You like this jacket?"
"Honestly, not really. I got a lot a nicer jackets already down in the basement."
"Oh. Ok. I send this to my brother then. He love this. When we get back to your home can you show me what in the basement?"
...
That night my mom ordered catering for dinner. Instead of just the family there were a few of my mom's friends there and the old hippie. We were all sitting in the dining room and the hippie was totally surprised about the existence of time zones.
"So like it's 8 o'clock here but it's already tomorrow morning in TAI wan? Wow, man. You guys are so advance you're living in the future, man. Wow. So then, you can read the news and then call us and tell us what's going to happen. Hey, can you find out if I'm going to get arrested tonight? I'd like to know that cause if I am I'd like to make sure to have my wallet on me this time. Last time I forgot my name and I had to sit in holding until they ran my prints."
"Why don't you just keep your wallet on you at all times anyway?" I asked.
"Oh, cause like, one of my buddies, it's like every time I go see him, man, he robs me and won't give me back my wallet. I'm starting to think I don't want to be friends with him no more, man. He has real anger issues."
Then my mom got everyone's attention and said she wanted to make an announcement.
"Thank you all for coming. We wanted everyone here when we let you know that Richard and I are getting married."
My mom was pretending to be so happy when she made the announcement and so everyone was trying to be really happy for her but it was clear that this was all just a train wreck of a choice that was heaped onto the fire of so many bad decisions. But who was I to judge? Maybe she could con Rick to run her motel for her and he could turn it around and actually make it profitable if she would just leave him alone to do it. But maybe that was wishful thinking. I knew I could make the place profitable if she would just leave me alone but I'd given up on my mom ever doing that. The end point was basically that I then felt less shackled to this place. The day was coming when I really could justify leaving for good and my mom wouldn't be able to say a thing to me.
That night after I had fucked Shenhua very calmly and gently she fell asleep telling me she loved me. For whatever reason my body wasn't able to fall asleep yet. I sat up in bed and looked at how this girl had changed my room. Then I found myself looking in the direction of my sister's room. It was like I could see through the wall as I imagined her in there, possibly in a state of partial undress. Oh, I should not be thinking about that.
I turned to Shenhua and I was going to try and wake her up so we could have sex again but she objected. "Again tomorrow." she said. "I tired." Then she said something in Chinese.
Ok. I could wait. It was ok. Only, it wasn't ok. I felt the urge to go to my sister. I felt like something was trying to push me to go see her. To go fuck her. I shook my head forcefully. I laid down next to Shenhua and I held her. No. I wasn't going to do it. No. HELP. Help me. No.
The next morning I felt better. I had had a dream about some crazy stuff but nothing to do with my sister. I was under control. I was ok. I was a bit worried about my feelings but I was under control so it was ok. I looked over at a naked Shenhua and I was calm. I was at peace. I could make it.
I shuffled out of my bedroom with Shenhua to go down to the kitchen and make something for breakfast when I saw my sister walking around in the upstairs hallway in just a towel. And I got my first hard on of the day. No, not when I looked at Shenhua naked in bed. No, I got a hard on looking at my sister in a fucking towel.
I didn't do anything but take it in and then I took a deep breath and went with Shenhua down the stairs. As I was descending I had to take a hard look at myself and decided that I'd go to therapy or something. But how? I didn't know how to do that. How could I find someone qualified to talk with me about this issue? I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone about the issue to get recommendations. Maybe I could do it under a fake name.
Before I could even get food on the table for Shenhua my mom was verbally giving me a whole laundry list of stuff she wanted me to get done for the motel. I tried to politely tell her that I didn't feel I worked there anymore but of course that made her feel like I was ungrateful if I couldn't just help her out with a few things. Those 'few' things she wanted me to do actually added up to a full day's labor that I was giving to her for free. It was so typical that she'd immediately adjust to having me home and find ways to start using me as an employee and doling out work, easing up on others and passing the load to me. And even with mine and my sister's free labor she still couldn't make a profit on the motel after all these years.
I had gotten most of the things done before lunch time but the last things she wanted me to do would have to be done later. I was going to let the person hired to man the office do that work since it was, you know, their job that we paid them money to do. But then I found out that they'd been given the day off by my mom and she wanted me to run the office and check in guests. And the thing was, she actually wouldn't be able to hire someone and have them work that long but having me here she could ask me to waste four hours of my time just to keep the office open. Not like I had a life I could be busy living. How many times had my mom ever run that office herself? Never, that's how many. I made more money from just the interest on the money my dad had given me than I'd earn actually getting paid to do this work for my mom. Why the hell was I still here? Why had I come back? After leaving and then coming back my eyes had really been opened. I couldn't help but compare the work my mom was asking me to do with the kind of work my dad did.
"Hey." my sister's voice interrupted my train of thought.
I looked up from the map website where I had been looking at Italy, specifically a town not far from my dad's villa and imagining going there. I had been wondering how many months of the year my dad actually lived there. Could I get a place on my own?
I looked up at my sister and she looked upset. "What's wrong?"
"The washer is fucked up again."
"Call the guy."
"I did. He can't come until maybe tomorrow."
I shrugged. "Get quarters and go to the laundromat."
"Could you help me with it?"
"Is that secretly code for please do it for me?"
"No. I'll do it, just need you to carry it to the car and help me get it out."
"Get mom to help you. We all know she has the free time."
"Come on. Get real. You know she's not going to help."
"Maybe because we don't ask her."
So my sister got on the phone and I went back to looking at a map and fantasizing about a better life.
"Mom says she's busy and you should help me."
"Tell her I'll have to lock the office."
"She says that's fine. Just lock up and help me with the sheets."
We drove down to the laundromat with the biggest machines and we figured out how many loads we'd need to do and then we got it all started. That left me with my sister there just doing laundry.
"Did I do something to you?" she suddenly asked me.
I was startled by the question. Actually, yes, she did do something to me and I was very adamant that she not know that. "What do you mean?"
"I thought we cleared the air but you're still pushing me away."
"That's not true. How?"
"You're acting different. I don't know."
"I took a trip and I had to really examine what I wanted in life. I'm probably acting different around everyone."
"Oh. Ok. Not just me. Ok."
She started to walk away from me and I was going to just look out the window again but then she spun around and leaned close to me. "No, for real, what is it?"
I was startled again and aware of how my body might be confused about how it was supposed to act around her so I recoiled.
"See." she accused. "What the hell is that?"
"What the hell is what?"
"You act like you don't want to touch me. You don't want to look at me. Fuck, you're worse then some guy who's just looking at my tits when I talk to them. You're always looking at the wall or out the window. I'm right here. Look at me."
"I'm doing that to everybody."
"Liar. No you're not. Why? What is it? What is it about me? Did Angie say something? Chad? What is it?"
"It's nothing. I'm worried."
"About what?"
"Shenhua."
My sister didn't respond. She gave me time to continue speaking and when I didn't she had to encourage me but it was clear that she was annoyed. I was trying to think up what I could say.
"Shenhua really thinks that I'm going to marry her. I never told her that. I never asked her that. But she has it in her head. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Her parents were putting all this pressure on her to get married and I overheard her talking with her parents last night and I thought I heard them ask her if we'd set a date for the wedding. I might be wrong about that, though, because my Chinese still isn't that good."
"And that makes it so that you can't look at me when you talk to me?"
"Not everything is about you."
"Well, something is clearly about me and I'd like to know what it is."
"No one has said anything about you. At least not to me."
"Look, I know someone must have said something to you. I know it."
"The only thing was Chad said he never touched you. I don't know what that was supposed to mean but ..."
"That fucking LIAR."
"Whoa. Calm down. Chill. Ok. It's just me. Ok."
"Chad and I had sex. Ok. I admit it."
I held in my breath and then I just shrugged. "What you do with your sex life is not my business."
And then she hit me with it. "I ... I got pregnant."
That word snapped me into the here and now. "What? You're going to have a baby?"
"No. I don't know what happened. I took a test about the same time that Angie took hers and found out she was pregnant. Mine was positive, too. And then we both thought that we were each going to have a baby for Chad and we started arguing. But then a couple days later I got my period."
"False positive?"
"I guess so. But I swear that's what happened. I did not go get an abortion. I didn't even go near that place."
"Those tests give false positives sometimes. It's rare but I hear it can happen. Even a man can get a positive if he's got certain conditions."
"So no one told you that about me?"
"No. Nobody."
She came close to me and hugged me. "I was going to keep the baby. I was going to be a mom. I had planned it out. I was going to get my own place and maybe run my own business and be a great mom. And now, I'm still washing sheets."
"Well, washing sheets is noble in it's own way."
"What's the point?"
"Clean sheets so our guests don't report us."
"I don't mean that. Why am I still here?"
"Why am I still here?"
"I want to go somewhere. I want to do like you did and just go and see something other than that damn motel."
"Go see dad."
"Mom would kill me."
"I did it and she was ok with it. Just go. Go see dad. Get out of here."
"He's so far away."
"He's at the other end of an airplane flight. Just get your passport, go buy a ticket, and go. What's stopping you? Mom'll be angry about something or other anyway."
"You really think I could just do it?"
"Ok, I want you to stop and think. What's the worst thing I could do to you that wasn't violent where you wouldn't get like physically hurt?"
"What?"
"Think of it and tell me and then that's what I'll do if you don't go and you'll have to let me do it."
"Ok, like what?"
"I'm asking you. Paint your room black? Throw away your CDs?"
"Pst. I can do way worse to you."
"Ok. Like what?"
"I could get you banned from the movie theater, but that's bad for you. If you did that to me I wouldn't care."
"Ok. What's bad for you?"
"I don't know."
"Remember, no violence."
"I guess if you posted nude pictures of me online that would be pretty bad."
"Alright. Let's go with that."
"For real?"
"We set a date and if you haven't gone to see dad by that date then you have to willingly let me take nude pictures of you and willingly let me put them online."
"No. That sucks. What do I get out of the deal?"
"You get to go see dad."
"But if I don't go, then you get to do this thing to me?"
"It's not like I'd enjoy it." So hard to say that with a straight face.
"No, I think we better think of something else to motivate me. Why don't we plan to go together."
"I think the reason mom was ok with me going to see dad was you were still here. If we both 'abandoned' her then I think she'd flip out."
"I don't know if I'd feel safe going all the way by myself."
"You know dad would protect you."
"I know but I'd feel better if you were there."
"And what am I going to do with Shenhua? Leave her here?"
"I don't know. How long can she stay?"
"Three months."
"Ok. So then, when she's ready to go back we both can go with her. And then on the way back home we can go see dad."
"Ok. That works for me."
She let me go and my heart was pounding even as I was from all outwards appearances keeping cool. It was like every cell in my body was telling me to jump her bones right there but I knew it was wrong so I forced my body into submission. No. I can't do that.
After the laundry was done we got back and I opened the office up again. I wondered what Shenhua had done with her day. Finally the hippie showed up for the night shift and I could go have dinner and go to bed.
That night something very strange happened. Shenhua refused me sex. I was puzzled but it was ok. I wasn't a sex fiend or anything. I could go without for a night. I spent another night gripping my sheet as tight as I could in bed wishing for my urge to fuck my sister to just go away.
The next day, I knew my mom was going through the house trying to find me to get me to do stuff for her but I was very clever in avoiding her. I was out of the house with Shenhua and almost downtown when my mom called. I told her I couldn't make it back to the motel to do what she was asking in time so she needed to ask someone else.
My mom was mad but what was she going to do? Kick me out? Man, just give me a reason to leave.
I drove with Shenhua all the way to a theme park and we had a blast just doing fun stuff but when I suggested we go swimming in the indoor pool she told me no. I told her I'd buy her a swimsuit but she told me no. It was no biggie. We had a fun day anyway. I just wished it was enough to get my mind all the way off my sister. It was weird but even as I was doing this and doing that, my sister was always right there lingering in my thoughts no matter how much I wanted her to just go away.
Shenhua and I had a nice dinner at a very nice restaurant but then she seemed worried. I asked her what was wrong and she finally let me in on the secret. She'd started her period and she was out of something and needed to stop and buy something on the way home. She acted like she was really ashamed of it but I couldn't see why. Women have periods. It's part of life.
We stopped at a drug store on the way home and she got what she needed. She was much more relaxed and happy after that and of course I understood that she wouldn't be interested in sex. I mean, I wasn't grossed out by it but girls in the past had told me that they didn't like fucking when they were on their period. When it comes to feminine body parts I defer to what women tell me.
Anyway, so there I was, third night in a row where I felt some urge pushing me to get out of bed and go fuck my sister. I had suggested to Shenhua to stop and stay in a hotel instead of driving all the way back but she really wanted to get home. We got there so late that my sister was already in bed and Rich was the only one still awake.
I went into the living room and then discovered that he was not awake. He'd fallen asleep watching tv.
Shenhua had to take a bath but I convinced her to take a shower because it would be faster. We then got ready for bed and before I even laid down that urge was there. I shuddered and a chill went over me. There was some vortex of negative pressure pulling me to the door. I looked over at Shenhua and she was asleep.
Ok. I was going to go use the restroom. That was it. That was all. I got up and went to force myself to take a piss. Then I left. I went downstairs and found that Rich had gotten up and joined my mom in her room. Ok. That was fine by me. I went back up the stairs and I had to pass my sister's door to get back to my own.
I stopped right outside her door. I could just imagine her in there. But I knew this was wrong. I knew it. I needed to go to bed. I tried to push myself to go to bed. But my feet weren't moving. I slowly opened my sister's door and I looked at her. What now asshole, I thought to myself. Nothing. That's what's now. I turned to leave but then I heard her let out a breath and shift in her position in bed. I should have been scared I'd get caught but then I realized I hadn't done anything but opened her door.
I turned back to her and I slowly moved closer. I couldn't understand my feelings. I wasn't thinking that she was sexy but she clearly was sexy. I wasn't thinking that she was beautiful but of course she was that too. I was just thinking that I wanted her and I wanted her to know that I wanted her. I wanted to fuck her and I wanted her to know that I was the one who'd fucked her. Was this guilt for what I'd done before? Why was I feeling this way?I overcame my urges and I got myself to start to leave. I got out the door and I closed it and then stood there feeling relief that I hadn't done more.
The next day, my mom told me that she and Shenhua were going to pick out wedding stuff but she needed me to run the motel while she was gone. I told her I'd be busy but then she jumped on me for not helping out more and she finally threw my traveling in my face as if I'd done something wrong. I asked if Rick could help me, since he'd need to eventually start learning that but as it turned out my mom said she needed Rick to help her pick stuff out since it was his wedding too. Wow, how progressive of her.
So again I was trapped in that damn office. I walked around the premises to do a sort of inspection. I opened every room and looked for stuff for the lost and found. Then I noticed that some of the tape that had been used to block the light from that window that night had not been fully removed from the glass. I'd need to get that off. It was sort of creepy being back in that room. I got the scraper and some window cleaner and I was about to go to town on it when I heard my name and a knock at the door frame.
"What you doing?" my ex asked me as she came in and sat on the bed.
"Just routine stuff that needs to be done. How are you?"
"I'm good considering."
"Considering what?"
"I'm going to have a baby and the father doesn't even want to speak to me anymore."
"When the baby's born have a DNA test done, show him it's his kid and he'll come around. Chad's not a monster. Try to see it from his point of view."
"There's no reason for him to think I cheated on him."
"I really don't want to get in the middle of you guys. I mean, obviously he thinks there is because he thinks you cheated. If you know you didn't cheat, then you have nothing to worry about."
"My mom says he's projecting because he feels guilty that he's the one who actually cheated on me."
"Again, I'm not getting in the middle of you guys. You were very clear with me that I should stay out of it."
"But right now I need a friend."
"You're friends with my sister, aren't you?"
"She's not talking to me right now."
"What did you do to her?"
"Nothing."
"So my sister just stopped talking to you for no reason."
"I guess."
"You really think I'm stupid, don't you?"
"No. I mean it, what I said before. I want to be friends with you. Everyone is abandoning me."
"If you want to be friends with me, you're going to need to apologize to Shenhua. That is a super racist stereotype that you threw at her and I can tell you first hand that it has absolutely no basis in reality. That woman does whatever she wants to do and she doesn't listen to a damn thing I tell her. It just so happens that she thinks it's fun to cook for me and she thinks it's fun to fold all my clothes. I never asked her to do that. I actually told her to stop but like I said, she does not listen to me. She knows what she wants and she just goes for it."
"Ok. I understand." my ex conceded. "I was wrong. But I'm not a racist. I admit I was wrong but I'm not a racist. I didn't say that to be a racist thing."
I shrugged. Not a racist, huh? I could see I hit a nerve there. "She'll be back later. If you can apologize to her then, we'll see."
"Ok. I can do that. I was just surprised that you ... had someone. I mean, not specifically her but that you had someone."
"Why?"
"I mean, I thought you loved me."
"Past tense. You told me to leave you alone."
"I never said that. I wanted us to still be friends but you stopped talking to me."
I sat down on the other bed opposite her. "How can I put this? The world does not revolve around you. My emotions are valid. Ok. You hurt me. I needed time to recover and you didn't give me that chance. You attacked me."
"I'm sorry."
"You say you're sorry now but what are you sorry for?"
"All that stuff. I didn't want to hurt you. I was just doing what I thought was best at the time."
"Best for you and only you."
"Chad was always bringing you up. He was so worried that I was going to see you to have sex with you behind his back. I had to show him that we weren't a thing. He even told me he thought this baby was yours."
"When is your due date?"
"Does it matter?"
"Just tell me, when is your due date?"
She told me the date and I looked up how doctors figured out due dates and I slowly nodded. "Right, so the baby was conceived on the 4th of July. Did Chad have sex with you on the 4th of July?"
Her eyes got big as she saw a win coming her way. "Yes. Yes, we did. All night long."
"Does he deny that he had sex with you that night?"
"I don't see how he could. He took pictures. Let me see him use memory loss to talk his way out of it now."
"Did you have sex with anyone else that night?"
"No. We were together the whole night. That was when we came up with the idea for the threesome."
"Well, congratulations to the happy father and mother to be. And now I know I definitely don't want to get between you guys."
"There's nothing to get between. Chad and I broke up. Baby or no baby, me and Chad are done."
"Yeah, ok but see, I'm Matthew, not Buck the beta cuck and not Tyrone the rebound guy."
She was about to say something but then did a double take. "Why does everyone keep saying that. I'm not seeing anyone named Tyrone. I don't even know anyone named Tyrone. And even if I did, I don't ... I don't like black guys. Not that I'm racist but it's true."
I smirked. "Who said anything about Tyrone being black. It's an Irish name." I just happened to know that. I didn't remember where I'd learned it but for some reason I knew that.
"Someone told me he was a black guy but I've never met him. Chad doesn't know who he is either ok so ..."
"I thought you weren't with Chad anymore."
"People have been talking about this Tyrone guy for months. I still never met him and the baby is definitely not his, whoever he is. Ok."
I laughed. This was so funny. I was so off the hook for anything. They were going to do a DNA test and the child would be Chad's and then these two would have this nightmare of a relationship chained around both of them for the next ten years at least. I had to feel a bit for Chad. But he was going to get to be a father which I doubted I would ever do.
"I wanted to ask you if you meant what you said."
"Yeah, definitely. If you want Tyrone you're looking at the wrong guy."
"Whatever. I wasn't asking about that. I was asking if you really meant it when you said you'd help me."
"After you screamed at me?"
"I didn't scream at you."
"I don't know. You'll have to apologize to Shenhua and then we'll see."
She looked down and accepted that but then got up and came to the other bed and sat next to me. "I will. I will apologize to her and I hope she accepts it. I didn't mean anything by it. I had just been remembering how good it used to be between us."
"What are you doing?" I asked as she took my hand and she was looking at me like she wanted me to kiss her.
"I'm just feeling really vulnerable right now. Can I get a hug?"
Just a hug? "I'm not the beta bucks guy either."
"I don't understand it when you try to talk that Chinese to me. I'm just asking for a hug, you don't have to put me down."
Ok. Fine. I let her have a hug. What harm could it do?
And right as I was asking myself that question I felt her hand reach for my crotch.
"What are you doing?"
"You were always the best. I want you to know that. You were better than anyone." she answered as she came even closer to me.
"The door is open."
"Then close it."
I took the opportunity to get up and away from her. I went to the door but I didn't close it. I looked back at her and shook my head. "Don't you realize now why Chad thinks you cheated on him?"
I didn't wait for her to respond. I continued out the door and made my way to the office. I said no. I actually said no to sex. And on top of that, I said no to her. I rejected her. Well, that was actually easier than my mind had built it up, since she was certainly carrying Chad's kid. I think deep down while I was telling myself that it had to be Chad's I secretly still suspected that it might be mine but now I knew for sure, or at least I was as sure as I could be.
When I was back at the office I was expecting her to come march herself over to tell me off and confront me but she didn't come. I went outside to check and I didn't see her but I wasn't sure if it had been there before. She knew I had a girlfriend so I didn't know what she was thinking back there. I went to the computer and put the scraper down on the desk. Then I felt like I wanted to smack myself cause I hadn't actually scraped off that gunk.
I went back out to the cabin to really fix up the window this time and when I got to the door there she was. She had thrown herself down on the bed and was crying. I didn't interfere with her. Instead I just started to get at the glass. As a joke I thought I'd mess with Angie a bit.
"Man if I ever find out who put fucking tape on one of our windows I'll gut them. Don't ever get into the lodgings business. Travelers have absolutely no respect for other people's property."
Angie got up from the bed, wiped her eyes, and then came over to see what I was talking about. I sprayed the area of the class that I had just finished and wiped that off. I inspected it to see if it was good now and then I looked up at her.
"What?" I asked as I played dumb.
"I don't know. You've got a nice little business here."
I wasn't supposed to be telling people that the place wasn't actually making a profit but I was so tempted. "You interested in buying? Maybe I can talk my mom into selling it to you."
"Get real. I don't have that kind of money."
"We can finance. Make it like 12 easy payments or something."
"Oh sure. Let me just put that on my credit card."
"There you go. I'll even throw in a free lunch."
"A lunch? Where?"
"You like peanut butter and jelly?"
"For allegedly being so rich you really are cheap, you know that?"
I shrugged. "The way to have money is not spend it."
My ex said something that was supposed to be thanking me for not taking advantage of her while she was being emotional. I shrugged it off and told her not to worry about it. She told me she hoped I was happy with Shenhua and then she left as I was wrapping up with the window.
So with that task done and most of everything else done it was back to the office to just burn away the minutes of my life doing nothing. Well why the hell should I do that? I realized that my time was valuable and if my mom wasn't going to pay me or at least promote me then it was meaningless to man that office. I locked up and taped a sign to the door letting people know that if they wanted to book a room to call my cell number. I was sure I would get a grand total of zero calls from people who wanted to get a room. I had told my mom that I was going to be busy but she just had no regard for the value of my time.
When I went back into the house my sister was pacing around from room to room talking on her phone. I was tempted to go flip the switch on the jammer but I figured I wouldn't do that to her today. If I did than she might figure out it was me who was doing that to her.
I was thinking about my life and thought that maybe my ex was right. I had been taught to be so frugal by my father and had continued to be so out of necessity when it was only my mom taking care of me cause she never liked to share anything. For all her talk about this house being 'ours' and the motel being 'ours' I knew full well that it was not so. This was not truly my home it was just a place that my mother was allowing me stay.
And then it hit me. I had to move out. I had plenty of money to do that. I had plenty of money to go buy a house on a tropical island with a great beach and just retire there. My father no longer lived frugally anymore now that his dream of marital bliss had been shattered. Now he was out there having a good time and tagging ever piece of tail that crossed his path. I was a moron for continuing this way. Now that my mom had squandered most of her cash I even bet that I had more money than her. Well, that brings up a good question; just exactly how much money did I have? That was an extremely good question with no easy answer and no easy way to get the answer.
My train of thought was interrupted by my sister coming upstairs and going into her room while she was still on the phone. I had been accessing one of my accounts to see if there was a way to use that money to buy securities here in the US when she walked past my door to go get in the shower. "In the middle of the day?" I asked out loud to myself.
I tried to turn my attention back to my work but I just couldn't get my mind off of the idea that she was going to be in there naked. I got a chill and then I mechanically got out of that account without even consciously deciding to do so. I stood up and went to the bathroom door and found that the latch hadn't caught all the way. I nudged it with my foot and it swung slowly though when my sister who was in the middle of undressing noticed it she jumped very quickly to try and cover herself.
"Dammit, what the hell are you doing?"
"I gotta piss."
"Fucking wait. Damn. Why are you even up here? Who's in the office?"
"No one. So you going to let me piss."
"Use downstairs."
"Ok, but if you're going to run me off at least let me see your tits."
"What the hell? No. Get the fuck out of here. How can you even ask me that?"
"Someone told me yours were better than Angie's but I honestly don't believe it so I wanted to check for myself."
"Can you do me a favor and not have conversations with assholes about my tits. And get out!"
Instead of getting out I walked up close to her and she slowly backed away from me to the tub. I put my hand on the fabric of the garment she was using to cover her nakedness and I pulled it away from her.
"I said I want to see your tits and you're going to let me." I could not believe how much of an asshole I was being just then.
"No. What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking that I want to fuck you and that you'll really enjoy it."
Her eyes were looking up at me frightened and then my phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket and tried to answer but as I said hello it just kept ringing. That was weird. I looked back at my sister who was now just ignoring my presence and continuing with her shower. I looked back at my phone and tried to answer the call again but it just kept ringing.
Slam. My ankle suddenly erupted in pain and my head jolted up from by bed.
"Answer your fucking phone, dumbass." my sister said as she looked down at me. I got my phone out of my pocket for real this time and answered. It was my mom yelling at me wanting to know why I had left the office unmanned.
It might have only been a dream but I felt pressed down with shame for my actions in it.
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