Sexually sacrificing herself for his comfort, a loving mother gives her Navy Seal son a Nude Day surprise he'll never forget.
Tomorrow the big day, Christopher was being redeployed yet again and Julie couldn't sleep yet again. Wishing she could keep him home with her, she didn't want him to go, not again, not this time, and especially not now. Always close to her son and missing him terribly when he wasn't there, in the month he was home, she had grown accustomed to having him around.
Because of his life threatening injuries and his slow hospital recovery from his last redeployment that he somehow miraculously survived, she hoped that he'd be discharged from the Navy or, at the very least, permanently transferred to the local base. If only he'd apply for it, he could be given a job as a Navy Seal instructor and trainer. Only, just as they've always have done, not even giving him time enough to fully recover, to enjoy his stay at home, and to digest his redeployment assignment, his classified orders came through at the last minute.
Fearing something dreadful would happen to him, sick with fear and filled with anxiety, she worried herself to death. Tossing and turning every night before awakening from her sleep with cold sweats, she had the same reoccurring nightmare that she's had several times this month. She dreamt of him being killed in a firefight. She dreamt of him being blown to pieces by an IED. She dreamt of him being held prisoner and being beaten and tortured before being beheaded. She dreamt of him returning to her dead in a body bag and in a coffin draped by the American flag.
Their big prize capturing a real American war hero alive, a Navy Seal, with her not hearing anything from the Navy, either he was dead or captured and being held as a bargaining chip. If he was captured and still alive, hopefully they'd be negotiating his release. Only, knowing her government didn't negotiate with terrorists, she hoped that the Seals were planning a mission to rescue him. Only leave no man behind wasn't applicable to him when she feared that even their spies on the ground and the drones in the air couldn't find where Al-Qaida had hidden him.
With fear taking hold of her sanity, as if he was her husband or her boyfriend instead of her son, she dreamt crazy dreams filled with sexual images. Willingly allowing him to do whatever he wanted to do with her, if only to give him a memory of her and a reason for him to return home to her, she dreamt of standing naked in front of her son while in the kitchen. With her wanting to make her stand to take control of an impossible situation, where even as his mother she had no control, she wanted to do something out of the ordinary for him. She wanted to make what she feared would be his last visit, not only a special one but also a memorable one.
She knew what she needed to do but with her unable to cross the incestuous line, she didn't know if she could do it. With her knowing he'd be home any minute, she had no time for her indecision. If she didn't strip off her clothes, if she chickened out now, and if she didn't strip herself naked, she'd be filled with regret. As if she was about to take the sexual plunge by diving in the pool of incest, with her decision irreversible, just as she knew she'd regret her decision if she did strip naked, she'd regret not undressing if he didn't return.
Something as crazy as him going overseas again, she dreamt of purposely stripping off her clothes. With her standing before him naked, something she'd never do ordinarily but something that she considered doing under these extraordinary circumstances, she dreamt of offering her naked body to her son. With him always so stiff and so sore, he was always in pain. Even though he was in incredible physical condition, sometimes depending on the weather, he was filled with aches and pains from his injuries and wounds. Even though he was only 25-years-old, he already had the body of an old man, especially in the morning and late at night. Even though he was unable to sit or to stand too long, he was cleared for duty.
Something that she hoped would make him forget his pain, she dreamt of giving him pleasure. She dreamt of giving him sex, incestuous sex. Then, after masturbating herself to her dreams and lustful desires of having forbidden sex with son, Christopher, filled with remorse, she felt so guilty. She felt so dirty. She felt so wicked. Damn to burn in Hell for all of eternity for the incestuous thoughts that controlled her mind, she didn't know what to do.
Feeling so troubled and perplexed, she was obviously going through something that she didn't quite understand nor know how to handle. Obviously fearing the worst, she was acting out in her dreams in the only way she could by removing her clothes. Stripping herself naked and replacing her fear with sexual excitement was the only way that she could ease the pain she felt that something horrible was going to happen to her son. With her lurid past filled with sexual abuse by her husband and his friends, sex is the only way she knew how to extricate herself from difficult situations. Sex was her comfort zone. Only, this was her son not her husband and nor his friends that she was thinking about bedding.
With all of his other redeployments, never having inappropriate, incestuous, sexual dreams of her son before, this time was different. Perhaps because of him nearly dying from his last redeployment, with all of this so out of her motherly control, this time she felt that there was something seriously wrong. Willing to strip herself naked, she was willing to give her son sex to keep him safely at home with her. Yet she knew he'd never shirk from his sworn duty even for the opportunity of seeing her naked and/or having sex with her. As her way to ease her pain, wishing that she could be intimate with him, if only that one time, should he not return home, she wanted to leave him with a lasting memory of her during his last, dying moments.
Not wanting to let him go, she wished she could kidnap him and run off with him to Montana or France, somewhere they'd never find them. Unable to stop thinking so negatively about his mission, she feared the worst. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe she was just overreacting to the news of the Navy Seals who were recently killed in Afghanistan. Personally knowing some of them and their families, with all of them a close knit family, losing one of them was nearly as bad as losing her son.
Maybe it was just her overactive imagination. Maybe it was just a mother's paranoid intuition with fear making her delusional enough to make her want to strip herself naked and give her son sex. Maybe she was just being hysterical. Maybe she was needlessly worrying about something that would never happen. Yet, with her having vivid nightmares of his death in between her erotic, incestuous dreams of stripping herself naked and giving her son sex, she couldn't shake the feeling that this time Christopher wasn't coming home from yet another forced redeployment.
* * * * *
Playing Russian roulette with his life, how many chances can he take before he runs out of lucky breaks? Fearless in the face of death from the sea, the air, and over land, he was a frogman, a Navy Seal. Knowing that Christopher wasn't afraid to die and was ready to die for his buddies and/or for his country, only this time was different. This time, calling his bluff, for the first time since he's been redeployed, she knew he was concerned about dying and, if he was concerned about dying, then that worried her.
Sharing his concern, only going beyond how he obviously felt about his dangerous mission, just a nagging feeling, she feared that he was going to die. She feared he wouldn't be coming home. She feared that she'd never see him again. With him unable to tell her where he was going and what he was doing, she was left to imagine the worst in where he'd be going and what he'd be doing.
As if tiny pins that exploded a deadly vision, with her unable to stop the thoughts that flooded in her head, she feared that he wouldn't be returning home this time. She feared losing him forever. With no one there to help her through her premature sorrow, she feared being home alone with her sadness, her grief, and her misery. Always so secretive even about his prayers, before he retired to bed during his last night home, having heard him say this particular prayer before, she recorded him praying.
"Eternal Father, strong to save, whose arm hath bound the restless wave, who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep, its own appointed limits keep. Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea!
O Christ! Whose voice the waters heard and hushed their raging at Thy word, who walkedst on the foaming deep, and calm amidst its rage didst sleep. Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea!
Most Holy Spirit! Who didst brood upon the chaos dark and rude, and bid its angry tumult cease, and give, for wild confusion, peace. Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea!
O Trinity of love and power! Our brethren shield in danger's hour, from rock and tempest, fire and foe, protect them wheresoever they go. Thus evermore shall rise to Thee glad hymns of praise from land and sea."
Never knowing that he prayed, a recent development with him rediscovering and embracing his religion and his Almighty God, his prayer made her worry that much more. Maybe the reason why he was praying was because he knew he was going to die this time. Especially after the brutality of his last redeployment with him being the lone survivor, certain that this was his last mission, she was terrified. How many times can they take him from her before he doesn't return? How many times must he go to some God forsaken desert with people shooting at him and trying to kill him before they hit their target?
Hasn't he done enough to serve his country and protect their citizens? Hasn't he done enough to help those people in a foreign land where he doesn't speak their language nor know their customs? These people don't even want him there. These people hate Americans. Yet, these people, willing to take our money, especially the Afghans and Pakistanis have their hands out for even more American foreign aid while trying to kill us in our sleep. Had it not been for a clan of Pakistanis' who put their lives in jeopardy, nursing him back to health while sending a message to the nearest base that he was there, he never would have made it home alive this time.
With a bad feeling in her head and heaviness in her heart, she couldn't help but think that she'd never see her son alive again. For the commitment he's made with all of the discipline and the training he's done, a year and a half of boot camp and another year of Seal training, all of his dedication and hard work is gone with one bullet to the head or to the heart. After the smoke clears in the big bang of an explosion that he never saw coming, in a blink of an eye of an IED, and with pieces of him scattered everywhere, he could be blown to bits and be dead. Hating to even harbor the thought, fearing the worst, in her heavy heart and in her troubled head, somehow, deep down inside, she knew that today would be the last day that she'd see him alive.
* * * * *
As soon as her son, Christopher, closed the door behind him to leave for his friend's house, waiting for him to leave while maintaining a strong front, Julie broke down. She stood in her kitchen crying in the way she did when her husband walked out the door so very long ago. Now crying for her son instead of for her husband, worried sick, she's been crying the entire time Christopher has been gone. The only time her tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy was when she picked him up at the airport.
Going from being so sorrowfully sad when he leaves to be so ecstatically happy when he returns, her emotions have been on a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs ever since he told her that he wanted to go for Navy Seal training. Navy Seal training? What is he crazy? What does he have a death wish? Oh, no, she forbad him to even join the Navy never mind to train to become a Navy Seal. Only, with his mind made up and with this his life and not her life, there was nothing that she could do to dissuade him.
Hoping he'd change his mind about wanting to be a Seal once he looked into it more, he didn't. Hoping he wouldn't be selected and hoping he'd washout if and when he was selected, she was just as sad as she was proud that her son was a Navy Seal. Knowing how determined and dedicated he is and how committed he'd be, she always feared that the Navy Seals would be the death of him. And now, with this last redeployment, her fears may come to fruition with his next redeployment.
Getting it all out, she didn't want to cry in front of her son. She didn't want him to see her like this, so weak, so vulnerable, and such a total wreck. She didn't want him to see her carrying on in the way that a mother tends to do when her son is being taken away from her yet again. She continued her brave image, just as her bumper stick reads on the rear bumper of her car, Mothers of Navy Seals Don't Cry. Holding back her tears until he left, so afraid and so fearful with all that may happen to him, if only for his sake, she tried to maintain her brave face.
"It's something that I must do," he said while watching the terrorist attack on the World Trade Towers back on 9/11/2001.
Barely twelve-years-old, he had already made up his mind and formulated his career choice to be in the military. Not wanting to take a backseat, wanting to get right in on the action, it wasn't until much later than he wanted to become a Navy Seal. Oh, my God, a puzzle box of raw, twisted emotions, with her patriotism pitted against the reality that she may lose her son, she was so proud of him and yet so afraid for him.
"It is what it is and there's nothing that I can do to change any of it," she said to comfort herself as if that was her personal mantra. "This is what he must do to live his life and this is what I need to do to endure and to survive mine should the worst happen. Just as this is his career choice, this is our destiny. Together we can survive anything," she said telling herself that as if praying and until she truly believed it. "He'll survive. With my prayers and with God's blessing, he'll survive. I know he will," she said telling her that until she believed it.
Yet, truth be told, if anyone should receive a Medal of Honor for above and beyond the call of duty, as his mother, she should receive a Medal of Honor for her bravery. When it came to sacrificing his safety over and again, and perhaps now, even with the life of her son, she was as much a part of the community of Navy Seals as he was. If anyone should receive an Academy Award while maintaining her brave face, she should receive the Oscar for not showing her real emotions in front of her son.
Not wanting to upset him, she needed him to leave home for battle with a clear and focused mind so that he'd return to her safe and sound. She didn't want him worrying about her over there when she's the one who should be doing all of the worrying at home. If he's distracted thinking of her at home worrying and panicking, one little mistake is all it would take for him to be killed in action and lost to her forever. A horrible thought to think of him dead, the thoughts of him being killed in action controlled her mind and took her heart hostage.
* * * * *
This was it. This was finally it. The day had finally come. He was leaving yet again. She couldn't believe it was already here. Recovering in the hospital for a month before returning home for a month, that month whizzed by too fast and now he was leaving again. She couldn't believe that today was the day. Feeling as if he had just arrived home from Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, from spy missions in Iran and Pakistan, or wherever the Hell they sent him with little or no notification of his call to duty orders, he was leaving yet again.
"Fuck!"
How much can they ask of one, young man? As if they owned him and they did, he's their beck and call kill or be killed slave of an assassin. Yet, how many times can the United States Navy redeploy him before he returns home to her without legs and/or without arms, missing in action, or dead and stuffed in a body bag? How many times must they take him away from her to put him in harm's way again and again?
With him already being shot three times and seriously injured five times with broken bones, contusions, burns, scars, stitches, and dislocations, how many times must he be shot and injured before he succumbs to his wounds and his injuries and dies? With all the injuries he's suffered, if he was an athlete, a baseball or football player, they'd put him on the disabled list and permanently take him out of the game. Only after a brief respite of R & R, relaxation and recovery, with those Navy doctors paying more attention to his body than to his mind, with Christopher assuring them that he was okay, he was good to go yet again.
For sure, in the way she felt now, the death of him would be the death of her too. He has enough medals to pin on his chest; there's no room on his uniform for any more. Weighed down with stripes, medals, decorations, and pins, when in his uniform, from his khaki brown to his service dress blues, to his service dress whites, with his choker collar and certified Navy twill, he already looks like a Navy Seal recruitment poster. He doesn't need any more medals nor does she want him to have any more medals if that one last medal meant the death of him and the ruination of her.
"Superman was the man of steel but he ain't no match for a Navy Seal," taking her in his strong arms to hug her, he'd console her saying what he truly believed whenever she seemed worried, which was all the time.
As if chanting while saying her rosary beads, his phrased leaked in her thoughts to interrupt her prayers and to temporarily soothe her sadness.
"Superman was the man of steel but he ain't no match for a Navy Seal."
Thinking he was invincible, he was so physically fit. With a sound mind and a sound body, he was so strong. He was so fearless. Knowing that he truly believed that Superman was no match for a Navy Seal, she knew that he had to believe that to safely get through what he needed to do. If he was anyone's Superman, he was her Superman. Only, even Superman could die with Kryptonite just as her son could die with a bullet, a knife wound, a bomb blast, in an underwater rescue, a helicopter crash, or a parachute jump.
Bigger than life, if she wasn't his mother, his biggest, supportive cheerleader, she'd think he was a boastful braggart who was full of himself but he wasn't a boastful braggart. Intensely quiet, dedicated, purposeful, and thoughtful, a man of many talents in how to kill someone, no one would see him coming until it was too late. Proud to be a Navy Seal, a little cog in a big chain and hopefully not the weakest link, especially when on a mission, she knew that he knew that he was just one member of a six man Seal team. Seal Team Six, brothers-in-arms, while watching one another's backs, just as he'd never leave them behind, he had the support of men who'd never leave him behind either. When he's home, she's run beside him enough times on the track with him to not only remember the lyrics of his cadence but to secretly record his voice, should he not return home.
"C-130 rolling down the strip, Navy Seals on a one way trip. Mission top secret, destination unknown, we don't even know if we're ever going home. Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door, jump right out and count to four. If my main don't open wide, I've got my reserve by my side. If that one should fail me too, look out ground 'cause I'm coming through. If I die on that old, drop zone, box me up and ship me home. Pin my medals upon my chest, bury me in the leaning rest."The first time she heard him singing that, she was shocked. She was sad. She was angry. She cried. Yet, just a song to keep him running, now she sings the song too when she runs alone and whenever he's not home. Unafraid to go out alone after dark, with him an arsenal of self-defense, he's taught her a few moves to keep her safe and has given her an assortment of lethal but legal weapons to keep on her person. Now, unafraid to run the track alone, she runs to her own cadence.
"Baby carriage rolling down the strip, mother Seal on a one way trip. Mission top secret, destination unknown, I don't even know if he's ever going home. Stand up, don't cry, hug my son goodbye, and drive to the airport door. If his main don't open wide, my heart will ache and break inside. If his reserve fails him too, he'll be home DOA to you. If he dies on that old, drop zone, finally he'll be at home. Pin his medals upon his chest, bury him because he's the best."
* * * * *
A changed man than when he joined the military to become a Navy Seal, he's more distant now. Even though he's a good looking man and has had plenty of girlfriends, as soon as the women discover that he's a dedicated Navy Seal, they bolt. Perhaps figuring there's a good chance that he wouldn't be surviving his next mission, few women want to begin a love relationship and then not see her man for months. Few women want to fall in love, get married, and have children while knowing there'll be a good chance they'll be widow and their children won't have a father. Few women have the love, the dedication, and the strength to care of a man who returns to her broken and/or without his arms and/or legs. Only, as his mother, as if she signed up for the Navy Seal duty too when he did, she was one of those few women who was willing to endure anything that her son may or not survive.
Quietly reflective, always deep in thought as if always preparing for something, he's not the same funny, easy going, fun loving man that he used to be. Unable to talk about what he's experienced and what he's seen, she knows he's experienced and seen some horrific things. Unwilling to talk about what he did, she knows he's done some horrible things. She knows he's killed men, women, even children who've killed or tried to kill his buddies. Trained to kill, more of a machine than a man when in action, she knows that he's more of a horrific killer than he is her kind, gentle, and loving son.
After all that he's been through, it would take him years, if ever, to decompress for him to return to her in the state of mind that he left before joining the Seals. Turning him into a natural born, cold blooded albeit calculating killer, the United States of America took her loyal, patriotic son, molded him to fit their form, and ruined him. A monster with a limited life expectancy, he's only good for two things, to kill and/or to be killed. They filled his head with drills, regimen, training techniques, weaponry, hand-to-hand fighting, survival skills, and orders. They brainwashed him into thinking that he's invincible and so long as he continues to believe that he is, he is invincible.
"Superman was the man of steel but he ain't no match for a Navy Seal."
God help the enemy going up against the likes of him and/or any one of his team of killers and assassins. If one Navy Seal is an arsenal, then a team of six Navy Seals is a small army. As Tina Turner put it in her song, Simply the Best, he was the best of the best and better than all the rest. With a Navy Seal six team member comparable to the 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment, Delta Force, even after being honorably discharged, the only place he'd be accepted and feel at home would be going back overseas and in country as a hired mercenary.
With him being redeployed, yet, again, even if he was to safely make it home, never to be the same, she knew that mentally and emotionally, she's lost him for good. No amount of therapy could unravel the knots that he had to tie his emotions and his brain in to survive. He's no longer her son but some recreation of an image that the United States Navy has of the perfect, human, fighting machine. A Navy Seal, the ultimate frogman, he's an Army Ranger on steroids combined with a Green Beret with a vengeance.
Fearing the worst, she doesn't want to be sitting front and center at his funeral when they present her with the American flag. In the way that she felt about her country taking her son for war and for all the money that the profiteers earned from war, she'd spit on the flag. Yet, the proud mother of a Navy Seal that she is, she'd never disrespect her son, herself, and her country by spitting on the flag, especially after all that he's done to defend it, but she was angry that Christopher was leaving her yet again. Much too young, she wasn't ready to be a Gold Star mother. She wasn't ready to march in a parade and wave at people she doesn't know, never met, and will never meet, after visiting his grave on Memorial Day and Veterans' Day.
With her so very happy to have him home, she made him all of his favorite meals. As if he was a man on death row and as if every meal was his last meal, whatever he wanted and so desired, she happily cooked it for him. Hugging him as if this was the last time she'd be seeing him alive, she dreaded tomorrow when he'd leave for the airport to board his plane to God only knows where now. She dreaded driving him to the airport. She dreaded saying her goodbye while suspecting that this may be their last goodbye. Having the sinking feeling that she'd never see him again, she dreaded watching his plane take off for God only knows where to do God only knows what.
A Navy Seal with classified, secret orders, he couldn't tell her where he was going or what he was doing even after he arrived there, especially after he arrived there. He couldn't even tell her where he's been never mind telling her where he's been redeployed but with him a specially trained sharpshooter, she knew wherever he's been and wherever he went this time was a place where she wouldn't want him to be. She knew wherever he went in someone else's country, an American with a gun and a license to kill the enemy on foreign soil, a place where he wasn't welcome, that he'd have an insurgent's target on his back and a terrorist's bounty on his head. Wherever he went in their country, a much hated citizen of the United States of America, he'd be deemed the terrorist. With him obviously killing so very many of them, it would be in their best interest to take him out and to make sure that he was dead. Wherever he went, with so very many wanting him dead, he may not return.
* * * * *
Had she not had that reoccurring dream of stripping herself naked and had today not been Monday, July 14th, the 195th day of the year, Nude Day, the thought of her getting naked for her son never would have crossed her mind. Had she not had that disturbing, incestuous dream of being naked before her son and giving him sex, she wouldn't have been as sexually aroused, ready to strip off her clothes, and eager to give him sex as she was now. Getting naked for the sexual entertainment of her son and giving him sexual pleasure was the last thing on her mind when he was going away, perhaps forever. Certainly, under normal circumstances, nudity and sex would be the last things she'd be thinking when it comes to her son, especially when it comes to her son. She was more concerned with his safety than with her exhibitionism or with his voyeurism and their sexuality.
So that he wouldn't have to bother with the mundane details of buying toiletries and snacks for his trip, she was more concerned with making him comfortable and making sure that he had everything he needed for his redeployment. Whatever would make him more comfortable and make his stay overseas more tolerable, even somewhat enjoyable, she already bought him and gave him. When it comes to a mother spoiling her son, it didn't matter than he was a big, tough, scary Navy Seal. He was still her baby boy and she was still his loving mother. Instead of going off to war, packing him candy, nuts, cookies, clean underwear and socks, she treated him as if he was going away to summer camp.
Yet, a deliciously albeit shocking thought, it never would have occurred to her to strip off her clothes had her son not mentioned that he was going to see famous, fashion models demonstrating nude for PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. With her reoccurring, incestuous, sexual dream in the back of her mind, when he mentioned the nude models, a delicious albeit forbidden and decadent thought crossed her mind. In an instant, she connected her erotic dreams with Nude Day. If he had a thing for naked women, and obviously he does with all the men's magazines that are resplendent with naked women and that are scattered throughout his bedroom, what better naked woman for him to see than for him to see his mother naked?
Only with him carrying the badge of honor of a Navy Seal, is he like any other young man who lusts to see his mother naked or is he above all of that? No matter if he is or isn't, as if taking a pill or a magic elixir, just the thought of stripping herself naked for her son consumed her thoughts enough to remove her worry about him being redeployed. Just the thought of her stripping herself naked for the hoped for sexual pleasure of her son removed any and all embarrassment she ordinarily would have with him seeing her without her clothes. Only, even if it is Nude Day and she was doing this for her son, she didn't dare to get naked, did she?
Nonetheless the coincidence that today was Nude Day, she wondered if she could strip naked to show her son her nude body on the pretense that it was Nude Day? It was fun just thinking that she would strip herself naked for the erotic pleasure and sexual excitement of her son. Even though she would certainly strip herself naked, if she thought her stripping naked would give her son some modicum of comfort with something to masturbate over later, how could she do that? What morally modest mother would strip herself naked in front of her son?
A mother stripping naked for her son's sexual pleasure was never acceptable behavior even if it was Nude Day and even if he was going off to war and to his feared death. Stripping herself naked was crossing the line of appropriate behavior between a mother and her son; that was incest. What kind of mother would she be to strip and parade naked around in front of her son? What kind of mother would willingly give her son sex? Yet, when she thought about him not returning home and her not seeing him again, she'd do anything, even give him sex, if she thought that memory would give him some comfort in his final moments of life.
A big step, one that tested her boundaries and her will in crossing the incestuous line for the sake of her son's sexual pleasure, she didn't know if she could strip herself naked for her son but she liked thinking that she could and that she would. Something that not only a wife and a girlfriend but also a mother could do, just the thought of her stripping herself naked for Christopher gave her some modicum of comfort. Thinking of undressing in front of him while thinking of his reaction in seeing her naked made her momentarily forget that he was being redeployed. When she put things in perspective, with her giving what she has to her son, her sexuality, in the way that he may give what he has to his country, his life, she could indeed strip herself naked for her son.
If he could die for his country than she could strip naked for her son. Surely, if she was in his shoes and if she was a prisoner of war given the choice of stripping herself naked or dying, she'd much rather be naked than to be dead. Yet, if she was a prisoner of war, men would never give her the choice of stripping or not. They'd just strip her naked and take what they wanted from her before killing her.
Only, what would he think when seeing her naked? Would he be happy? Would he be sexually excited? Or would he be angry that his mother thought stripping herself naked for Nude Day because it was Nude Day and because he was being redeployed again was a good idea? She didn't know. As secret about his sexuality as he was about his military exploits, great at bluffing while playing poker, he was hard to read. Even as his mother, she sometimes had a hard time knowing what he was thinking. She didn't have a clue and she wouldn't know if her son would be angrily upset or sexually excited until she actually took it upon herself to show her son her naked body.
Always looking to see what he could see of her whenever she was inadvertently showing him an up skirt or a down blouse, she knew he was sexually attracted to her. What son isn't? In the sexy way that she looked with a face as pretty as her body was shapely, what son wouldn't look at what she was inadvertently showing? Many sons are sexually attracted to their mothers, or so she read. According to Dr. Sigmund Freud, all sons want to have sex with their mothers, especially with a mother who looked like her.
Only, it would be one thing for her to strip naked and quite another thing for her to offer him sex. Forget about crossing the incestuous line by stripping herself naked, offering him sex would be not erasing the incestuous line but obliterating the incestuous line. Still a difficult line to cross, even with him going off to war, for her to give him sex, he'd have to want her to give him sex as much as she wanted to give him sex. Only, she was already way ahead of herself and perhaps way ahead of him too. With her having never shown her son so much more than her bra strap before, it would be egregious enough for her to strip off her clothes and appear naked before him, never mind offering him sex too.
With that written, no matter if it's Nude Day today or not, no matter if he's going to war and not returning, what kind of mother willing stands before her son naked? Is her being an incestuous, naked slut offering her son sex the last memory that she'd wants him to have of her? Or would he see her in the way that she wanted him to see her, as a loving mother who willingly would do anything for the sexual pleasure and incestuous happiness of her son?
If she stripped off her clothes, if she gave him the sexual pleasure of having sex with her naked body, and if that's what it would take to make him happy, how would he perceive her then? Would he perceive her as a loving mother willing to do anything for her son or would he see her as an incestuous whore of a pathetic mother using Nude Day and him leaving her for war again as her excuse to get naked and give him sex? There was only one way to find that out but, before answering any and all of those questions, she didn't even know if she could appear before him naked. It's one thing to dream about stripping herself naked and it's one thing to consider allowing her son to see her naked, but it's quite another thing to actually remove all of her clothes and offer him sex.
According to Jerry Springer, she'd have to be a whore and an incestuous slut for her to strip naked and offer Christopher sex for the sexual pleasure of her son. Naked, naked, naked, how could she strip off her clothes to stand naked before her son? Naked, naked, naked, with all of the horribleness that he was about to endure, she had the one thing, her naked body, that could give him for some small degree of sexual pleasure when he was alone, desolate, and horny. Naked, naked, naked, now that she thought about stripping herself naked, temporarily more preoccupied with that thought of stripping off her clothes than with him going off to war, maybe her stripping naked would be beneficial for the both of them.
* * * * *
Trying to convince herself while justifying that, under the circumstances, it was okay for her to appear naked in front of her son, she thought of all the scenarios where it was not only acceptable but also appropriate for a mother to be naked in front of her son. In the way that the Europeans attend nude beaches with their families without having any ill feelings of shame, remorse, embarrassment, guilt, or sexual excitement that mothers are seeing their sons naked while sons are seeing their mothers naked, what's the big deal? It's just the human body, the same body that we all have beneath our clothes. If he's seen all of his comrades in arms naked numerous times, why shouldn't he be allowed to see his mother naked when she's just as much a comrade in arms while worrying about him returning home to her safely as they are? If he's seen all of the sexy pinup models and fashion models demonstrating for PETA naked, with him obviously enjoying ogling naked, sexy women, being that she's a sexy woman, why shouldn't he see his mother naked too?
In the way that entire families strip naked in celebration of Nude Day, if they can parade around naked in front of one another, why couldn't she stand naked in front of her son as his personal reward for him going off to war? In the way that people join a nudist colony, whole families, mothers with their sons and sons with their mothers, they have no inappropriate, sexual thoughts for one another when walking around naked, so why should she? Just as her son was fearless to do what he does, as the mother of a Navy Seal, she needed to be fearless to do what she needed to do too and that was to strip herself naked.
Only, the reality of forbidden sex between a mother and her son overruled her sexual fantasy and froze her into sexual inaction. Indecisive even after all of her commonsense justification, she couldn't do it. She couldn't strip off her clothes. Being that she was his mother, there was no way that she could give her son sex. What would he think seeing her naked? He'd think she's lost her mind.
Then, again, her reality of losing her son that originally inspired her sexual fantasy fanned her flames of lustful desire. Only, she wasn't celebrating Nude Day. She wasn't at a nude beach. She wasn't a PETA pinup model and she wasn't a nudist tanning herself topless or naked on a white, sandy beach off the coast of France or Italy. Instead, hoping to give Christopher some sexual pleasure, Julie was stripping herself naked for the occasion of her son leaving to fight someone else's war again. With the possible prospect of him not returning home alive, wanting to give him a lasting memory of her that he'd never forget, she was the worried sick mother of a Navy Seal who was leaving her for war yet again.
No fault and no foul, what she was thinking about doing wasn't about sex and/or wasn't about incest or so she continued telling herself for her to believe. If as she suspected and he doesn't make it home, what would it matter later that she stripped off her clothes to be naked in front of her son? What would it matter that she had sex with him? Who would know? With her son dead, no one would know that she stripped off her clothes to pose naked in front of her son. Her gift to give him, no one would know that they had incestuous sex.
With him killed in action, dead, and buried, who would care what happened between a mother and her son? If he didn't return home from war, not only would no one know that they had incestuous sex but also no one would care that she stripped herself naked and had incestuous sex with her son. He'd be dead. Something they'd both take to their graves, it would be their dirty, little secret that he saw her naked and that they had sex. Only, if she didn't strip naked and have sex with her son, she'd forever regret that decision should he not return home alive.
If seeing her without her clothes would give him some sexual pleasure during his last, quiet moments and while masturbating over all that he saw of his mother's naked body, what's wrong with that? If the memory of her naked body during his last dying moments helped him not to feel the pain, then she's done a good thing, the best thing that a mother could ever do for her son. For sure, her stripping herself naked would give her some peace for her to know that she made her son very happy over all that she was about to show him and over all that he was about to see of her. She convinced herself that as her son lay dying that the one, last thing he'd want to do is to masturbate over all he saw of his mother and the sexual memory she gave him. Already twisted by her anticipated grief, she was wrought with the desire of needing to do something that was in her control. With her unable to stop him from leaving, the only thing she could do was to strip off her clothes and give her son sex. Weighing the positives of stripping off her clothes against the negatives of her stripping off her clothes, with the positives far exceeding the negatives, she didn't see the harm in her stripping off her clothes nor did she see the wrong in giving him sex.Conversely, if she didn't strip off her clothes and if he didn't return, she'd regret her decision not to show Christopher her naked body. She'd regret the decision of not allowing him to have his wicked, sexual way with her naked body. If she stripped off her clothes and he returned home alive, happy that he made it home safely, she'll deal with the shame, the embarrassment, the humiliation, and the remorse of showing him her naked body and having sex with her son then. For now, especially being that it was Nude Day and especially that he may not return home alive, she wanted to give him something that he'd never forget. If only just a memory, she wanted to give him something that would sustain him through those horrific times and/or those last moments of his life. Determined to give him the best Nude Day he's ever had or ever will have, she wanted to give him sex. Sex, sex, sex, how else could she show her son how much she truly loved him by stripping herself naked and giving him sex?
* * * * *
In her defense and justifying her being naked in front of her son, her stripping off her clothes in front of Christopher wasn't about sex. Her giving him sex wasn't even about incest. Even with her standing there naked, her having sex with her son never crossed her mind. Just as she did in her erotica dreams about him, all of her thoughts were with her son and with his happiness. If he could sacrifice his life for his country, then she could sacrifice her body for her son. Whatever he wanted was okay with her. If he was okay with seeing her naked and if he was okay with her giving him sex, in the scheme of things, what did any of it matter? As far as she was concerned, for that moment in time, no longer mother and son, they were just a man and a woman.
Instead of sex having anything to do with it, she was thinking more about stripping off her clothes as a sign of love and a sign of selfless sacrifice in the way that he's been sacrificing his safety for the sake of his country for years. He's left several times before and she's never felt the need to strip off her clothes. Only, this time was different. This time she feared he wouldn't return. This time, as his last send off, she wanted to show him the love that his mother had for him by showing him the reason why he needed to do everything in his power to safely return home to her.
Just as she wanted to give him something to remember her by, she wanted him to give her something to remember him by too. As if she was a picture of a saint, Saint Julie, she wanted him to take her naked photo with him and to carry her with him as his protection. With him no doubt masturbating over her nakedness, she wanted to give him sexual pleasure in that way when he was overseas. While knowing that he was staring at her naked photo, thinking of her in the way that she'd be thinking of him, she wanted to imagine that she was masturbating with him.
She didn't have much time. With him telling her that he was just going over his friend's house to say goodbye before his friend left for work, she knew he wouldn't be staying there very long. Being that he's already been gone a while now, he'd be home from his friend's house any minute. It was now or never. Now or never, she had to decide. With little time left to decided, either she stripped herself naked or she didn't. She couldn't waste another minute with her indecision. Thinking fast and pressured to make her decision, it was now or never that she needed to make her decision to strip off her clothes or not. It was now or never that she had to make her decision to give her son sex or not.
With the digital camera already on the kitchen counter, she needed to decide if she was going to strip naked or not. Figuring she'd chicken out if she didn't strip off her clothes now, right now before he came home, she'd rather greet him naked as soon as he walked through the house and walked in the kitchen. If she started removing her clothes after he was home and if she gave him a striptease, chances are that he'd either stop her or she'd stop herself. Chances are she wouldn't go through with it. Chances are she'd regret her decision to not get naked now, right now. Chances are, she wouldn't offer to have sex with her son.
With her standing behind the kitchen counter, allowing him to get used to the idea that he was about to see his mother naked, she'd greet him topless. Yeah, liking the idea even more that it was really about to happen, she'd show him her breasts first, in case he acted appalled by seeing her without her clothes. No sense showing him all of her naked body if he didn't appreciate seeing her tits. Having never even seen her in her panty and bra before, never mind seeing her naked, she wondered what his reaction would be to seeing her standing there without her clothes. Then, once she walked from around the kitchen counter, she wondered where he'd look. Would he stare at her breasts, her pussy, or would he look to see her naked ass? Yet, judging her son by his magazine subscriptions, she knew he was a breast man.
Would he be shocked seeing her naked? Would he be sexually excited seeing her without her clothes? Would he be embarrassed, ashamed, and disappointed in her for stripping herself naked? Or would he take her in his arms and kiss her while touching and feeling her everywhere a son should never touch and feel his mother? There was only one way to know what his reaction would be and that would be for her to get naked.
Naked, naked, naked, she couldn't believe that she was even considering getting naked. Naked, naked, naked, suddenly forgetting that he was going away yet again to be in harm's way, she never felt so alive. Naked, naked, naked, afraid to strip naked before now she couldn't wait to strip naked. Naked, naked, naked, with nothing else to give him but her love and her prayers that he'd return safely home, her naked body was the only gift that she had left to give. Her naked body was a gift that only a mother could give her son.
* * * * *
With her fingers poised on the top button of her blouse, she paused while thinking of her ex-husband. What would he say if he knew she was about to strip herself naked for their son? Looking at her actions through his perversely, perverted mind while thinking the worst of her, he'd never understand her reasoning for doing such a thing. Without a doubt, thinking her twisted in her logic, in the way that he never understood any of the things she did when they were together and worse when they were apart, he'd no doubt think the worst of her.
Instead of thinking of her as a mother sending her son off to war with love, her ex would think she had become an incestuous whore of a mother who was having regular sex with their son. Instead of thinking that she wanted to give her son something to remember her by during those horrific days of survival and those dark, lonely nights of certain death, he'd think she lost her mind and had gone to the Devil's dark side. No doubt, he'd think that she was inspired by sexual lust for her son and by her incestuous, sexual fantasies she had of him while masturbating herself. Instead of thinking that she was stripping off her clothes for non-sexual reasons, he'd think she had incestuous motives. He'd think she was the one perverted when he was the one who was the one perverted. Yet, with her embroiled in all of her misgivings, based on her indecisiveness to strip or not, her ex-husband may be right. Maybe she is an incestuous whore. Maybe she's the perverted one.
Remembering back to when they were together so very long ago, he always thought she was a cold, frigid bitch, only he never took the time to warm her and to get her ready for sex. Instead, always drinking until he fell drunk, he'd rather go off with another willing woman than taking the time to get her in the mood for love and for sex. With her so young and so inexperienced and with him much older than she was, sex was always about what he needed and what he wanted and never about her sexual satisfaction. Slam bam, sex was always about his needs and not her needs.
She hopes he's happy with his 17 year junior, 18-year-old, child bride of a wife, a real whore who's only after him for his money and who pretended to be his secretary when she didn't even know how to turn on a computer. With him now 52-years-old and his child bride now 35-years-old, their marriage has lasted much longer than her marriage with him. He must have mellowed. Maybe he has erectile dysfunction and not only can't get an erection anymore but sex isn't as important to him now as it once was. Nevertheless his imagined issues with her now, glad that she's rid of him. With him only wanting a much younger woman for sex and her only wanting him for his money, a perfect match, those two deserve one another.
Seldom making love to her, not even kissing her, complimenting her, and/or appreciating her, all he ever wanted was a blowjob. Sexually satisfied with just cumming in her mouth, a blowjob was enough to suffice his horniness and sate his sexual mood enough for him to leave her alone. Rarely giving her an orgasm, all he wanted her for was to suck his cock while he fondled her breasts and fingered her nipples. Then, once he ejaculated in her mouth, not caring that she was sexually unsatisfied and sexually frustrated, he'd turn away from her and go to sleep. The right thing to do at the time, he had married her because he got her pregnant and she was grateful that he gave their baby a last name.
Only as the months and years dragged on, it was painfully obvious to her that he didn't love her, especially when he coerced her and literally forced her to have sex with his friends. Knowing he was cheating on her with other women, it was agonizingly obviously to her that he never loved her. Never taking the time to learn to know her, it was unbearably obvious to her that he didn't even like her. A divorce waiting to happen, they never should had gotten married. They never should have had sex in the first place. Of all the men who could have gotten her pregnant, he shouldn't have been the one. When she wanted someone loving, caring, and kind, someone who loved her, she got someone who was mean and stingy, and someone who despised her. Stingy not only with his money but with his emotions, with her beautiful face and shapely figure, she could have had her pick of men back then.
Maybe she should have aborted the baby but glad that she didn't, at least from that mess of a marriage, she salvaged something beautiful. She has her son. Thanking God every day for her son, he was the light of her life. Abandoning her and her child, one would think that a father who has a Navy Seal and a war hero for a son, would be close to his only child but he's not. Devoid of any love and affection, he hasn't seen Christopher in years, since he was 18-years-old when he graduated from high school.
She was glad her ex was no longer part of her life. She was glad that he was someone else's problem. With him always calling her a slut and treating her as if she was a whore when she wasn't, she was glad that he was no longer with her to make her feel bad about herself. The worst mistake of her life marrying him, all he caused her was heartache with his drinking, cheating, and verbal and emotional abuse. Yet, the flipside, the bright light to her dark life, the best thing that happened to her was being pregnant with her son. With him her heart and her joy, she couldn't even imagine not having him in her life.
* * * * *
While thinking of exposing her naked body to her son, she mindlessly unbuttoned the first button of her blouse. When she looked down at herself, knowing what he could see too if he was there, she could see her cleavage and the top of her breasts along with her bra. A tug of war with her emotions, showing that little bit of self-exposure not only made her question what she was about to do but also made her sexually excited. She wondered again what her son's reaction would be to seeing her naked. Naked, naked, naked, with Christopher not even seeing so much as her bra strap and now he was not only about to see her tits, her pussy, and her ass but also he'll have a naked photo of her to take with him. A tragic mistake, just having from graduated high school, having him at 19-years-old, she was only 18-years-old when she was impregnated with Christopher, by Jack her 27-year-old boyfriend who is now her ex-husband and has been for nearly twenty years.
Now twenty-five-years later since giving birth to her son, she's a forty-four-year-old, single mother without a man in her life other than her son. A devoted mother, she's done everything for her son. Now, the only man she has in her life is going off to war again. Never wanting to marry again, Jack left her with a distrust for men. Whenever thinking about making room for another man in her life and taking another man to her bed, she talked herself out of it by the realization that she's better off alone. She viewed all men, except for her son, as liars, cheaters, and abusers. Maybe if she had a man in her life, a real man, someone like her son, Nude Day or not, she wouldn't have the mind to strip herself naked for the sexual pleasure of her son. Only, one in a million, men like her son are hard to find.
Yet, even though there was a twinkle in her eye and a tingle in her vagina, her stripping naked wasn't about sex, something she kept telling herself until she truly believed it. In the way that a wife does for her husband or a girlfriend does for her boyfriend when their men are leaving for war, she wanted to do something special for her son. Because he was going off to war and with her having the bad feeling that he wouldn't be coming home alive was the reason she was stripping herself naked. Expressly for him, she wanted to do something much more personal than baking him cookies, buying him a fruitcake, or engraving his name on a shiny piece of jewelry that he'd be unable to wear when in country.
As if he was a prisoner on death row, giving him whatever he wanted, even a sexy, cheesecake photo of her naked body, if all he wanted was the pleasure and the privilege of seeing his mother naked that would be okay with her. Yet, if he wanted sex, not even having to ponder the answer to that question, ready to deal with whatever repercussions of them having an incestuous, sexual relationship should he return alive, she'd give him sex now too. At the expense of being the world's worst mother and at the expense of being deemed an incestuous whore, she'd welcome her son to her cold bed. How many loving mothers would do that for their sons whether going off to war or not?
If suspecting that their sons would die and not return home alive, especially if that's what their sons wanted them to do, how many mothers would strip off their clothes? How many mothers would take the next step and have sex with their sons as their way to show how much they love their son? Truth be known, she kidded herself that her stripping naked wasn't a sexual thing to do when assuredly it was. She kidded herself that having sex with her son was her moral duty to do. Certainly, a mother stripping herself naked for her son and having sex with her son was not only a sexual thing but also an incestuous thing. Most mothers would never do what she was thinking about doing and what she was about to do.
She hoped that Christopher would want a memory of her to keep him warm at night when he was cold and alone in the dark in some remote location in some God forsaken country. In the way that she willingly sucked his father's cock and was forced to suck all of his friends cocks too, she'd willingly suck her son's cock too if that's all he wanted. Only, hoping her son wasn't as perversely perverted and as sexually selfish as was his father, she was hoping he'd want more than just a blowjob. She was hoping that he'd want to show her as much passionate love for her as she had for him.
If he was going to ask her for sex and if she was willingly going to give him sex, she was hoping that he'd make love to her. She was hoping that he'd give her something to remember him by, an orgasm or two. In an act of desperation with her heart breaking with the thoughts of Christopher not returning, in her twisted mind, allowing her son to have sex with her body and a mother making love to her son, there was nothing more sacredly special than that. Imprinted on her brain until the day she died, what better memory of her to have of him than to have that one intimate time they were together when he was inside of her? What more did she need to console her grief that the memory of her son naked and in bed with her and making love to her.
"I love you Mommy," she imagined him saying as she sucked his prick or as he pounded her pussy.
"I love you Christopher," she imagined saying as she kissed and kissed him while holding him in her arms and afraid to let him go.
Torn between stopping herself from undressing and undressing herself, she continued undressing herself. With her thinking more about showing her son a good time, she was able to ignore what most of the world thought was so wrong and what she thought was so right. Able to see the bigger picture than being hung up on the word incest, she continued slowly and mindlessly removing her clothes while thinking about the image of her son masturbating over her naked photo later. With an angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other, one slow, blouse button at a time while thinking that she'd be making her son very happy on one hand and thinking she'd be making a tragic mistake on the other hand, she continued stripping herself naked.
She's made plenty of mistakes in the past but it would be an even worse mistake if she didn't go through with stripping herself naked and regretted not showing her son her nude body, especially if Christopher didn't return home. If he was to die overseas, if he didn't return home, and if she stripped herself naked now, she'd always have the memory that she gave him some modicum of pleasure. Even if it was incestuous, sexual pleasure that she gave him of seeing her naked and having sex with her, at least she'd know that he died happy and with a smile on his face. She'd be willing to deal with the remorse, the shame, the humiliation, and the guilt if he did return home to confront her with her nudity on that fateful day that he was leaving for war. Not embarrassed by her actions but more troubled by her inaction if she chose not to strip herself naked, something she needed to do to ease her troubled mind, she was proud that she was undressing herself for her son.
* * * * *
With her blouse unbuttoned and flayed wide open, if he walked in now, seeing something he's never seen before, he'd see her in her bra. He'd see the tops of her breasts, her long, line of cleavage, and the big, round impressions her erect nipples made through the satin material of her bra. As if he was already in the kitchen with her and she was doing a striptease just for him, she removed her blouse while thinking about the thought of her son seeing her in her bra. In the sexually aroused state she was already in, she'd like for her son to see her in her sexy brassiere.
Lost in the love for her son, while wondering his reaction, she'd like for him to see the bra clad shape of her breasts, her cleavage, and the tops of her shapely breasts. She liked for him to see the big impressions that her nipples made in her bra. For a mature woman, with nothing falling or sagging yet, she had nice tits and great cleavage. In the way he's proud of his country and proud to be a Navy Seal, he'd be proud of his mother's breasts if he was to see them, touch them, feel them, and suck them. Willing to allow him to have his wicked, sexual, incestuous way with her tits, she'd do anything for her son, even submit her sexy body to him for his personal pleasure.
As if she was in the military too and making her bunk, mindlessly she neatly folded her blouse and laid it upon the kitchen counter in the way she imagined them folding the flag before presenting it to her. She flattened her blouse with her fingers while imagining her son kissing her while he felt her breasts and fingered her nipples through her bra. Standing there in her bra and jeans, suddenly feeling so very nakedly exposed, yet not wasted any time in undressing, next she kicked off her shoes, unbuttoned and unzipped her tight jeans, and removed them too. Now dressed in only her bra and panties, feeling sick to her stomach about showing her son her naked body or even her underwear clad body, she thought about getting dressed again. Only her sexual excitement overrode her shame and embarrassment for her not to continue undressing.
Yet, with her standing there in her panty and bra, certainly not as outrageously immodestly, immoral as seeing her naked, being that she had a shapely figure, she wouldn't mind him seeing her in her sexy bra and bikini panty. Actually proud of her body and believing that she looked better in her underwear than she looked naked, she wanted him to see her in her panty and bra. Only, to make her point by showing him the commitment of love that she had for him, she needed to go all the way. She needed to strip herself naked. She needed her son to see her naked. Now thinking about removing her underwear, the shame, the guilt, and the remorse made her pause with her indecision to strip herself naked. How could she even consider stripping herself naked for the sexual self-pleasure of her son but she must? If nothing more than the shock value, she wanted to give him a memory of her to take with him wherever he was assigned to go.
Being that he's never seen her in her panties and bra before, maybe teasing him by showing her son her body while dressed in her panties and bra would be enough to give him plenty of sexual pleasure that he needed while he was away. Maybe having him take a photograph of her in her sexy, low cut bra and sheer, bikini panties would be enough to keep him sexually satisfied while he was overseas and fighting for his country. Maybe it would be better and more sexually exciting for him to imagine her naked instead of seeing her naked. Yet, willing to go above and beyond her duty as a mother, she was willing to strip herself naked if she thought that having Christopher seeing her naked would help him get through all that he needed to do.
He wasn't going to camp for the summer after all. He wasn't going away on vacation to have a good time. Dangerous duty, a Navy Seal with a premium target on his back, a killer trained by his country to kill the enemy, he was going off to war. Just as he needed to do what he had to do, she needed to do what she had to do too. Coincidentally and appropriately, being that it was Nude Day anyway, the naked non-holiday was her excuse to strip off her clothes. Taking Nude Day as her not so subtle sign to strip naked, she needed to strip off her clothes and show her son her naked body. It was a memory she needed to make for the both of them to have.
As if she was readying herself for bed, going for broke, going where no mother should ever go with her adult son, and going where she's never even thought of going before, she reached behind her and unhooked her bra. In the way she was forced to do for her husband's friends, she removed the straps from her shoulders and slowly peeled the brassiere cups from her breasts. Standing there in just her white, sheer, bikini panties, she was topless now. As soon as she removed her bra, as if the anticipation of her son walking in the kitchen was an officer walking on deck, her nipples stood at full attention. As soon as her son opened the front door, walked through the house, and entered in the kitchen, he'd see her naked breasts.
If he was to walk in the kitchen right this second, with nowhere for her to hide and nowhere for her to go, but for the backyard, assuredly, he'd see her topless. He'd see her beautiful breasts. He'd see her round, pink areolas. He'd see her erect, dark nipples.
When the cool air of the kitchen failed to cool her decision to strip herself naked, her nipples immediately erected and grew harder. When the warmth of her sexual thoughts heated her libido and moistened her pussy, feeling so sexually aroused, she felt so naked. With her decision to strip for her son, she felt so exposed. With her decision to possibly have sex with Christopher, she felt so wicked. She felt so deplorably sick that she was going to show her son her nude body. Feeling a chill that even the heat of her horniness couldn't negate and feeling the sexual arousal that even her commonsense couldn't abate, she was trembling not with the cold but with fear of standing there naked when her son entered the kitchen.
How dare she? What was she thinking? How could she go through with this? What if he rejected her? What if he was angry with her? What if he thought she was an incestuously insane whore of a mother as no doubt her ex-husband would think she was? What would she do then? How could she possibly explain away her bizarre behavior of stripping herself naked for him to see nude body? What if his last words to her were, I hate you Mom, instead of I love you Mom? What if his last words to her was calling her a slut and an incestuous whore?