"Give me a hand, Ashley." Gem excitedly said.
I don't have any idea why he was so happy that he even fetches me from the office I'm currently working at, and ask me to have coffee with him. I am an event coordinator now while he's a graphic designer. And seeing him happy makes me feel so happy also. I can see the joy in his warm penetrating eyes. And to think that he asked me out after a month of being busy with our own jobs, why I wouldn't be happy? As a matter of fact, I felt excited. I can't wait to hear the good news he was about to tell.
"A hand, for..?" I smiled and wait for his answer.
"For a wedding plan. Cindy and I, we're getting married, next month."
Those were like bombs that repeatedly blowing up to my very ears. It felt like my whole world suddenly collapsed. I don't know how I manage to hold my tears and smile to every story he told me how Cindy and him ended up together. To think that the stories he told me before were all about how Cindy rejected his love for so many times. I remember wishing him to see me like a woman he can offer love and answered his love too. I remember wishing him to forget everything about Cindy and see the invisible me.
I never thought that...
I mean, how the hell they ended up being together? They even get into marrying?
And what about me? I loved him and never stopped loving him up until now.
I felt the tears running down my face as the rain starts to drop in every part of my body. The rain started to pour and I don't care. It was raining inside my heart too. Or maybe, rain was not the exact word. The storm of pain was here, inside me. And it was running strong and deep. Why do I felt such feeling? And who should I blame for this pain? Is it Gem? He, who didn't asked me to love him. Or is it me and my heart, who was a fool to love him still even though I know he can't love me back?
I wish I can say the line from Bea's movie. At this moment, I felt like those lines were as if made for me.
"Ako nalang. Ako nalang ang mahalin mo. Ako nalang ulit."
But then there's no "again" between Gem and me. Because from the very beginning, I am the one who made mistakes... I am not saying that, loving him is a mistake. But choosing to love him still, knowing that I will hurt myself is the mistake I am repeatedly doing.
Cant you love me, Gem? I wouldnt ask for much. Just ten percent will be fine. Ill be the one to fill the rest of it. Just give it a try.
I hope I can say that to him. But its too late. Hell get married soon. And it pained me more that my foolish heart decided to love him still. Even if I know my hopes of him, loving me back were gone, I still decided to keep him inside here... inside my heart. As long as these raindrops exist, I know my love for him will keep still.
===END===