The next morning, I opened my eyes, feeling the warm sun rays shine on my face through the cracks from the roof of the shed. I heard the birds chirping their melodious tune. It was as if the birds knew the horror I had escaped and were singing songs to help me feel at peace. I stood up, stretching my back that had become sore from the shed floor. I walked over to my dress, feeling it still soaking wet. I sighed, thinking about how I could dry my dress. I went outside, feeling the warm temperatures, and seeing the bright sun high up in the sky. I thought, 'I know I have to change, but I also can't wear a wet dress… I should take advantage of this warm day. I'll just let the sun dry my dress and then I have to go… I can't stay in the shed another night.' I went back into the shed picking up my dress, seeing water drip from the bottom of the dress to the floor. I walked out of the shed, placing my dress on the ground, directly in the sun. I could feel anxiety begin to eat away at me, thinking about how I did not want to be found. The thoughts of the owner of the shed returning, finding me trespassing, chilled my mind. I could focus on nothing else as the worry grew in me. The only thing that played in my mind was being found by Henrick and having to go back to the life that was my horror. I couldn't bare living with Henrick ever again…
I anxiously watched my dress for hours. Hoping that it would dry faster so I could leave before anyone found out I was there. As I bent over and touched my dress, I could feel the anger and fear wash over me as I felt the dress was still wet. 'How can it still be wet? It's been 5 hours, and still… Still the dress is soaking wet…' I thought. I began pacing back and forth while biting my nails. I had just escaped captivity, and now I was being held up by a wet dress. I didn't want to risk traveling in a soaking wet dress with the temperatures dropping. I couldn't risk it. Henrick did not kill me after a year, and I was not going to let illness take me out after everything I had gone through. I also did not want to steal the dress I had found in the shed. A day ago, I had everything stripped from me. I had everything taken from me, and I had no say in the matter. For me, taking something from someone else after everything that happened to me, it felt wrong… It didn't matter that it was something as small as a dress, I could not bring myself to take it without the owner knowing what I had done. I didn't want to be the one who took from others… I couldn't allow myself to steal anything from anyone, not after losing everything I cared about.
I waited all day until the sun set in the sky, but still the dress remained wet. I felt a cool breeze begin to chill my body and thought, 'I can't leave… At least not tonight… Since nobody came I guess it couldn't hurt spending one more night here until my dress dries and then I have to move… I can not risk being stuck in freezing temperatures without shelter and in a wet dress. I will catch an illness if I do so…'
Reluctantly, against what I thought was my better judgment at the time, I stayed put, thinking that I would leave and be on my way in the morning. Everything in me wanted to run as far away as I could, but in my mind I knew, I knew if I did leave without a plan I would be putting myself at risk of getting hurt… Before I could do anything I needed to have a plan, I had to think strategically if I planned on surviving. I went back into the shed and laid in the same spot I laid before, covering myself up with the cloth bags to stay warm. As I felt myself starting to get tired, I thought about how easily I was able to fall asleep on a hard floor as opposed to sleeping in a soft bed in the castle… When I lived in terror for a year, I could never get comfortable, I could never fall asleep so easily, even on the softest sheets. It was pure horror, and it ate away at me every day. Now I was free and I could finally sleep in peace despite the floor being cold and hard, despite my back becoming sore, it was freedom and it was peace, and although I had to be vigilant and keep watch over myself, it was still better than living in the castle…
It was just the crack of dawn. The sun was not fully up in the sky when I suddenly awoke. It felt as if something in me knew I needed to get up early. I threw the cloth bags off of me, heading outside to see if my dress had dried off, and then I felt it. The cooling winds, brushing up against my skin. I felt the goosebumps popping up all over my skin as I felt my body begin to shiver from the wind.
I walked over to my dress, and felt it was still wet, thinking, 'It's beginning to get so cold out here, at this rate my dress will never dry… With the temperatures beginning to drop, I'll die of hypothermia if I don't get this dress dry, but how can I get my dress dry if the weather is so cold… I need heat and it doesn't seem like the sun will be enough…'
I felt myself getting overwhelmed… Not being able to move, being trapped, brought back so many memories I wished to forget… I wanted to run away from that shed, I wanted to leave, to keep moving, but I could not, all because of a dress… It felt as if my body had been trapped in quicksand and the more I fought to get out, the more I drowned… It felt like my life came to a complete halt… I had just regained my freedom and now I was once again stuck…
I felt the cool breeze graze up against my skin again and began to shiver. Staying outside and catching a cold wasn't going to do me any good, so reluctantly I walked back inside the shed, hoping that I could think of a plan to get my dress dry so I could leave.
For hours I paced back and forth, hoping to come up with a plan that did not involve taking the peasant dress I had borrowed, but I could think of nothing… Everything I thought of, every plan I had, involved me stealing the dress and I could not do it… I just couldn't bring myself to take something that didn't belong to me. I would not allow myself to steal for if I did. In my mind, I would be as low as Henrick.
I watched as the sun went down and went outside, seeing my dress was still wet.
I sighed, going back inside to the shed, telling myself that my dress would be dry in the morning. In my heart I knew, I knew that the weather was too cold and my dress would never dry, but my mind would not allow me to believe it. I needed some hope to get me through the night…
Before I knew it a whole week had passed and my dress had not dried. I managed to survive on the little knowledge I knew about edible plants, and I was able to find a clean well to drink from. I started to get more and more comfortable with the thought of staying put as temperatures began dropping. I knew if I left in that damp dress, I would not survive.
Soon, a week turned into a month, and still no one had come to the shed. I felt alert and at ease all at the same time. I finally had peace and somewhere stable to live without fear of being hurt every night.
As temperatures dropped more and more, food began to get scarce as plants started to die off due to the first snow. At that moment, I realized even if my dress had dried off. If I had left with nowhere to go, I would've surely died off from the freezing temperatures. In that moment, I knew God Himself was protecting me, and for that, I was so grateful to Him.
Another month rolled by, and I began to get frailer and frailer from lack of food and water. I had become so weak and cold that I could barely get up from the floor. I curled myself up in the cloth bags, trying to stay warm, as I felt my body shiver. I could feel the temperatures in my body begin to drop. I grew more and more tired, looking up at the ceiling, begging God to save me from death, and then I heard it, before I shut my eyes to what I thought would be my death, I heard the door to the shed swing open and as I closed my eyes, I knew that my Prayer had been answered and regardless of who that was I was not going to die.