I thought the trip would be a bit more pleasant than it turned out to be. Instead of reaping the benefits of an adventurer, I ended up rotting in a jail cell.
Dusty bars, straw lying on the floor, mice chewing on some molded cheese, just how more unoriginal could I be? I mean, I wrote this book and I couldn't even have the decency to use my imagination a bit more. Even the empires are based off of historical events. How did I get here?
Well here is the not-so-funny story:
It began when I was trying to find a place to sleep: you know, one of those normal places like a motel or something. I don't know what I was thinking walking into a place called Drink and Sleep.
Why would I even begin to think that it could be like normal Inns? Has my memory been shot? I wrote it, so how could I NOT know, right?
Well, I walked in and there was a crowded bar surrounded by a bunch of guards laughing and having a good time. Across the room in the corner was a hooded figure eating soup with a woman at the table beside him trying to get his attention. Her cheeks were flushed a hideous red and her hair was up in dark brown pigtails. From this angle, she looked gorgeous, but the moment she tilted her head my direction, I got a look at a long nose with a fat wart and turned away quickly before she could see my reaction.
I've probably watched too many comedic animes in my lifetime. Remembering the peaceful times before my father's untimely death left an empty hole in my heart. I still couldn't believe that was 15 years ago. It feels like only yesterday.
I continue to scan the room and there are people everywhere. Nobody really stands out. I keep noticing the women being grabbed every which way and it makes me sick to my stomach. Walking to the bar, I feel stares against me and try my best not to react to it. I know I am wearing very skin tight drab, but it's for my own protection. The pouch on my hip holds my handful of gold coins, so I make sure to palm it, so I am not robbed. I know that no matter where I go, if money is involved, it is probable to get stolen if not carefully taken care of.
I made it to the bar and the bartender turns to look at me. His ears poke out behind his hair and I come to the realization that he is an elf. Now, elves are not always short creatures. It's nothing like myths. Elves are usually royalty, though. Elves are just people with really pointy ears and amazing grace and coordination. That's why it's so rare to find them outside of the palace. Royalty equals elves. That's important. I wonder if I will meet Onii Chiis. She has that name because she originated from a specific race of people that are supposed to be long extinct. That's why she became the main character: because nobody ever knew what to make of her. She knew they were always wondering whose side she was on and what she was thinking because they know little to nothing about her or her kind.
He stares at me as I stare at him. I close my open mouth and try my best not to look stupid. I doubt he buys it.
He raises his eyebrows at me waiting. Either this guy doesn't know that good customer service is to politely ask what I like or he just doesn't care. Probably the latter.
He continues to stare at me and the moment he walks away, I call him back. "Wait! Are there rooms here?"
I swear this man— elf! Well, he is technically still a man, but this elf looks me up and down and shrugs, pointing to the back. I see a dark red curtain leading into a hallway and am instantly suspicious. Everybody knows you can't trust an elf. They're suspicious. They're quite usually spoiled and they know how to twist truths into colorful but not exactly untrue things. They are like mythical Fae: they are incapable of lying. Or so the saying goes. Perhaps they spread those rumors themselves in order to get the people of this kingdom to trust them.
I repeat my question to the bartender, but change the phrasing: "is there a place for me to sleep?" And, once again, he points me in the direction of the curtain. I sigh and go to it, and the moment I walk through it, sound behind me seems to cut off. I open the curtain back behind me and sound comes through loud and clear once again.
Magic, I realize. They really used magic. I find myself wishing I could use it as well, but I remember the mirror test and frown in disapproval. I wish I was capable. Then I probably wouldn't even have to look for a tavern at all.
Through the curtain is a hallway with many dark mahogany doors. I see do not disturb signs on a few and put my ear to one. I hear nothing. Perhaps they really are sleeping. Perhaps I really can sleep the day away. My horse is waiting outside in a stable, so it should be fine. I mean, I have never in my life managed a horse before but it shouldn't be as hard as taking care of any other pet.
I know others would beg to differ but I don't really care too much at the moment.
I go to the nearest door and open it. I am not surprised that it is unlocked because it's more than likely unoccupied and this means sweet, sweet sleep on an actual bed in an actual room with an actual roof and some actual silence thanks to the magic.
When I walk in, it looks as though everything is untouched. It's all light brown, reds, and whites, and I couldn't have been any more willing to close the door, lock it, and jump in, asleep before I even hit the comfortable mattress.