I stand by the massive glass windows, staring at the amazingness of the setting sun. I don't know how I manage to get here.
Ahh. I just remembered. They were laughing. They were talking. And I was there scribbling on my notes, consuming the loneliness inside. The next thing I knew, they were already gone at my side. I didn't notice them walking away.
Charlie is such a fool. It isn't like him to leave me behind. He hadn't done that before. We were always together. But today is different. Charlie doesn't care about my existence anymore. They left me in pain.
Even Irisha forgot that I was with them. Seriously.
I am now thinking that perhaps…Irisha has finally returned Charlie's feelings. Maybe they made it official today. If that's not the case, I don't know what other reasons they would have to a point that they forget about me.
When I realized that they were gone, I left the beach and went home. I didn't even bother to call our driver to pick me up. I just walked and walked until I found myself at the gate of our mansion.
My feet are hurting now. Gee.
Stupid Charlie. I hate his love for Irisha.
"Chaise!!!" I flinch at the sudden bang on my door.
Speaking of my twin brother, he is here. Brilliant. What now? I put on a masquerade face and walk to him, faking a smile. I am always good at faking it.
"You're so mean, Charlie. You left me behind."
Whenever he enters my room, he wears a happy, excited smile. He will have this enthusiastic face. Sometimes he will hug me. He will always tell me how happy his day is. He will tell me that he's very thankful that I am his twin sister. He will smile at me.
Today, again, is different.
I can't see those happy emotions on his face right now. He looks furious and I believe I know why. See? I know him very well. I know his expressions and moods. However, I wonder, and wonder, could he still read my facial expressions? Will he be able to read my thoughts—just like before?
"You told Irisha, why?" he raise a brow and grabs my left arm. His touch is hurting me. Physically and emotionally.
"Tell what?" I pretend that I don't know what he's talking about, pulling my arm back. But he doesn't let me.
"You told her that I forced you to come with us!" he yells at me. "You want to ruin my image to her, do you, Chaise?" His grip is tightening on my arm. I want to tell him that it is hurting me. I am a girl and he's a guy and his grip is hurting me so bad.
I can't say it. I know that I will regret it later. Charlie is really bad at controlling his emotions. He's so insensitive. He might not even know that he's already hurting me.
But he's Charlie. He's my twin brother. I don't mind if I get hurt because of him. I believe he doesn't mean to hurt me, anyway.
"I didn't tell her, Charlie. She figured it out herself. That's all." I tell him, staring back at his fiery eyes. When I didn't avert my eyes from him, he did.
"I—is that so?" He asks.
His grip is loosening now.
"But you must take it back, Chaise. Tell her that you really wanted to come with us. Tell her anything—just don't make her blame herself just because you're bored."
Ah. So that's it.
He doesn't want Irisha to feel bad about it. But she isn't the only person who is feeling bad about it! I want to tell Charlie that. My brother is so cruel to me recently. He could at least consider my own feelings, too. He's the older one; he should be more careful and keener than I. He could at least show it to me that I am important, too.
What happened to Charlie? He's always caring and loving before. He is always protective of me. But in a glimpse, it's all gone. Why? Just because he likes Irisha? Does it necessarily mean that he must ignore me and my feelings?
"Chaise!" he snaps and I blink. "Promise me that you'll tell Irisha tomorrow!"
Honestly, I can't find a reason why I should. But I don't want Charlie to get mad at me. I don't want to see him frustrated.
So I reply, "I will, Charlie. Don't worry. Irisha won't dump you just because of that."
"Ah, Chaise! Thanks!" he snaps again and hugs me tight all of a sudden. But it isn't long enough. He pulls me out from his embrace and pats my head, as if like I am his younger pet.
"Sorry that I grabbed your arm earlier. And I'm sorry that I left you. I swear I will not do it again." Liar. I feel bad, but his apology is enough, even though I know that he's just lying.
I stuck my tongue out at him. Then I wink.
"Hey, it's okay, Charlie. We're twins, remember?" I tell him and he looks down, his bangs covering his eyes.
He replies, "Yeah. Anyway, that's all."
He turns around and hurries his way out to the door. I feel the familiar pain again in my chest. Why does it hurt me every time he walks away?
I guess I am always afraid he might never return.