Chapter 76 - Hate

I feel like rage has taken over I want to destroy this phone I want to punch my head until it rings I want to punch a wall until my fists bleed I want to destroy everything in my reach and I can't I would be sent away it's destructive behavior I want to scratch at my throat until blood is seen

I want to cry but I can't because then I won't be able to breathe I will hyperventilate I feel like I'm on fire from the inside out

I hate myself for being this

What am I supposed to do I know what I want to do but I also know the consequences of doing what I've said up above I would self hate and want to die even more if I did any of those things. Should I just sit in my rage my head is throbbing I want to destroy everything i need to destroy either myself or everything around me

I feel violent

I feel numb

I feel stronger than I usually am because I'm raging

Later after I still want to hit something but I won't The sun just set I'm in a really bad mood I feel like if anyone was acting happy around me or anything I would punch them I feel on edge I'm just itching to get rid of this feeling I can't put the emotion into a proper word