The mountain. The rock walls surrounding me. The pathway ahead, which I inevitably follow.
A shadow darts past, not too far from where I stand. It disappears into the inky blackness where the moonlight can't reach it.
"Hello?" I whisper, but just my voice echoes back to me from the emptiness.
"Hellooo?"
Nothing.
My bare feet feel the rough, cold rock, and I kick up a pebble. I hear it skittering over the hard ground, then silence. Seconds pass.
Ping!
Thump.
I realize I'm at the edge of a crevice. I could slip over at any moment. Would I fall into eternity?
I pick up my pace. The mountain juts out and I hug the wall, my toes gripping the edge of the cliff. I make it past the corner. The mountain curves inward and I have more room, but still I can feel the walls squeezing in on me, their emptiness somehow taking form, pushing on me.
The darkness goes on forever, its dimension infinite, able to hide anyone … anything.
I want to rush forward, but I'm held here by something I can't define.
"Find me."
How? How can I?
"Find me."
Who are you?
"Find me!"
My world collapses, and then comes together again. I'm in bed, sweating, my breaths short. It's still dark.
"They're getting worse, aren't they?"
The voice is not the one from my dreams. It's familiar and comforting; it grounds me in this world rather than one of illusion.
"Victor!" I can see his silhouette so clearly with the moonlight streaming in through the window. He's sitting on the edge of my bed. Reaching out, he tucks my hair behind my ear, his palm skimming along my cheek. I welcome the warmth of his skin. Old Family vampires are born vampires. They're warm-blooded, have heartbeats just like us. But they need to drink human blood for sustenance. "You're okay. You're really okay."
Lunging up, I wrap my arms around him. He puts his around me, holding me tightly. I can smell the earthy richness of his unique scent and hear the rapid thudding of his heart. Mine is beating out the same rhythm. He has an inexplicable hold on me, and I wonder if things will change between us since he took my blood. I think of that moment when his fangs pierced my skin. While I was conscious I experienced a mixture of pain and ecstasy. Since then, whenever I've thought about it, I've been unable to determine which sensation was stronger.
"I can't stay long," he says. "I just had to see you, to know you were truly awake. Now I can finally sleep."
"I'm so grateful you're alive. They say someone brought me to the hospital. That was you, wasn't it?"
He eases away. "Yes."
Leaning over, I turn on the lamp so I can see him more clearly. He's as gorgeous as ever. His black hair brushes over his shoulders. He's wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. He would blend in with the night, but here in my blue bedroom he stands out. And I'm glad, so glad he's here.
"You did have the strength to stop taking my blood," I say. "I know you were afraid you wouldn't."
"I barely drew away in time," he says, his voice a rasp. "Your blood … is unlike anything I've ever tasted before. So sweet. It was like … it held power over me. I can't explain it."
He turns his back on me and plows his hands through his hair in frustration. "Even now, it calls to me."
"It's just because it was fresh—"
"No, it's more than that. I nearly killed you, Dawn. I pride myself on my control. For me, human blood is nourishment, a necessary evil, and nothing more. It's always been like that, until you came along. You bring out the monster in me, Dawn."
My neck starts to throb, right where Victor drew blood. Maybe it's the pounding of my heart setting it off. It's kicked into high gear ever since I realized Victor was near. As though it's calling for him, he turns back to me and skims his fingers along my tattoo. He appears mesmerized.
"I have no scars," I say to bring his attention back to my eyes.
"I gave you a blood kiss."
Just when I think I know everything about vampires, I learn that I don't. "What's that?"
"I sealed the wound with a kiss. Vampire saliva carries a weakened version of our rejuvenating properties, but it's enough to heal a bite mark. In the days before blood could be safely drawn and stored, when we had no choice except to take blood directly from the source, it was a way to ensure our donor didn't bleed to death and that he could remain anonymous, if he wanted. Most did."
"Vivi had stitches from Sin's bite."
"I doubt he took the time to properly tend her wound."
"But you did."
"You say that like I'm a hero. I should have never taken from you to begin with."
"I offered, Victor. A gift. It would have been rude not to accept. And I know how Old Family vampires adore etiquette."
He releases a soft laugh, relaxing a little. Old Family vampires have rigid codes of behavior. I had to learn all these silly rules—how to walk, how to curtsy, how to sit like a lady—before I met with Lord Valentine. I hated all of it. But there was kind of a grace to it. And I don't want Victor to regret taking what I offered.
"Victor, I've been thinking about Brady."
"You can't feel guilty, Dawn. What you did, you did out of love for him. You set him free. In his final moment, he was thankful for what you did."
My head knows that, but my heart is having a difficult time accepting it. Brady thought the blood of an Old Family vampire could cure him of his affliction—reverse what Sin had done and turn him back to a human. He abducted me to lure Victor into his trap. Victor had four hundred years to develop his fighting skills, but with Brady's Thirst-increased strength they were well matched. I decided which way the tide would turn. I chose Victor. We killed Brady together, both our hands on the stake. No, not killed. As Victor said, we set him free.
Brady never wanted to be a monster. He'd gone insane. All he wanted was to be cured.
But there is no cure for the Thirst or vampirism—except death.
"I want to give him a proper funeral—"
"I knew you would want that. I was going to arrange a burial for him, but when I returned for him the next night, I discovered the sun had turned him to ash."
"But he was a Day Walker, immune to the sun."
"I was as surprised as you. Day Walkers are a new phenomenon. There's so much we don't know about them, but apparently after one dies, he's simply a vampire and the sun is once again his enemy."
The image of Brady's body turning to ash saddens me, the sunlight scorching him until nothing remains. But I close my eyes tighter, and see him drifting through the wind, up and up, to rejoin the beautiful sky that he loved. Maybe … maybe it's better that he be up there than buried in the ground.
I open my eyes. We could go on for hours about the dangers of the Day Walkers, even more so about the Thirst. But right now I want to talk about us. I know it's unwise to tempt us both, but still I sink back onto the bed, bringing him with me until we're lying on our sides, face-to-face.
"What did you mean when you said, 'They're getting worse'?" I ask.
He cradles my face, skims his thumb over my cheek as though he can't stand to not touch me. "When you were in your coma, I knew you were dreaming. Your eyes fluttering, your body sweating, jerking slightly. Every time I thought you'd wake up, but you didn't. I was worried you'd be trapped forever in some kind of nightmare world. I was afraid that even though you were right in front me, I'd never be able to reach you."
"You were there? When I was in the coma?"
"Every night. Just long enough to make sure you were still breathing."
"Faith and Richard said you weren't coming into the city."
He grins. "I don't tell them everything."
The most Victor and I have ever shared is an amazing kiss, but I'm closer to him than I've ever been to anyone in my life. It's more than the fact that we faced death together. We saved each other, in more ways than one.
"How did you know I was here?" I ask.
He brushes his fingertips over my neck, over the place where he drew blood. "I saw you leave the hospital. I was hoping the nightmares would stop. Are you dreaming about me taking your blood?"
I see the worry in his eyes; the thought that he's responsible for my nightmares is unbearable to him. "No, no. It's weird. It makes no sense. I'm wandering through a mountain, and someone is calling to me to find him. It seems so real that I'm always disoriented when I wake up. The doctor had me talk to a shrink. He says it's nothing. Just my subconscious trying to figure things out."
"Humans are so complicated."
"And vampires aren't?"
"Maybe it's just you who's complicated." He releases another soft laugh.
I enjoy that rich sound for a moment. It seems like since we met it's been nothing but drama and near-death. I have to cherish these precious moments, because they're so rare.
He's still stroking my throat and I'm growing warm. He's looking into my eyes but every now and then his gaze flicks down. Then finally it doesn't come back to my eyes. His nostrils flare and I imagine he can smell my blood, because I can hear it thundering between my ears.
"Is it hard being overlord?" I try to distract him.
His eyes shift back to mine. "Harder than I expected. I'm going to have to demand more blood."
"Rachel says people have stopped donating. They're frightened."
The muscle in his jaw clenches. "They'll have reason to be if they don't give blood."
Shoving him back, I sit up. "That sounds like a threat, Victor."
"If vampires don't get human blood, they'll turn on themselves, become infected with the Thirst. Then no one will be safe. You've seen what it does. Do you really want that to come to Denver?"
A chill runs through me and I rub my arms. "Of course not. But …"
"But what?"
"You can't just demand blood. You know that doesn't work."
Victor seems to lose patience. "I need blood. End of story."
I swallow hard. "Then you'll have to talk to the delegate, and right now, I don't want to shift into delegate mode. I just want to be Dawn with you. I don't want you to be the overlord. I just want you to be Victor." My Victor.
"It's not something I can turn off, like a light switch." He rolls to a sitting position, his feet hitting the floor, his back to me. I want to press myself against him, curl around him. "I thought you were different, Dawn. I thought you understood."
"And I thought you were different from your father."
He comes up off the bed in a blur of fury. Old Family vampires can move that quickly, that smoothly. I know I should be frightened, but I've never been scared of Victor. Even in the beginning when I first realized what he was. I hated him. But I was never afraid to stand up to him.
"Never compare me to the Bloody Valentine," he grounds out.
I jerk up my chin. "Then don't act like him. You once told me that bullying humans into giving blood wasn't the way to handle the tenuous relationship that exists between our kinds."
He plows his fingers through his hair. "I didn't realize how bad it was out there. Father never talked about it. He kept control over the Lessers with an iron fist; if one of them stepped out of line, he killed him. I don't want to do that, so I need blood to stave them off. I don't have time to be diplomatic. Once they've been fed, they'll listen to reason."
"The citizens of Denver will listen to reason," I say. "Have you held a press conference? Have you tried talking to the people? Your father never did that; this is how you can show that you're different from him."
"After Hell Night, they don't care what I have to say."
"Hell Night?"
He groans. "That's what they're calling the night of the Teen Initiative party. You know how the media is; they need a catchy sound bite."
"And an appropriate description."
"Unfortunately, Sin damaged the human-vampire relationship. It may be beyond repair at this point."
I clamber off the bed to face him evenly in order to give more weight to my words. "I believe in us, Victor. With you as overlord and me as delegate, we can make things better for humans and vampires."
Pain crosses his features. "Don't, Dawn. I've told you before that you're my weakness. There can be nothing between us. Nothing. So, I wanted to tell you in person … I'll be requesting a new delegate."
Is he serious? He has to be; he wouldn't joke about that. And it hurts so badly, like his hand is wrapped around my gut, squeezing tighter. I always complained about the difficulties of the job, how I never wanted it. But now that it could be taken away, I realize it means much more to me; it has started to define me. I'm not sure how not to be a delegate.
I want to be professional, but this is personal.
"When did I become such a liability to you? I helped you overthrow your father. I saved your life. I've proven that I'm not afraid of what you are!"
"You should be!"
Victor looks at me with those sharp eyes, a haunting anger in them. Not at me, but at himself. I remember that look from long ago. Before I loved him … before we meant so much to each other, I saw that look.
"What are you so afraid of, Victor?"
"I'm afraid of what I'll do to you. We can't be together, Dawn. Not professionally. Not … romantically."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because it's difficult to let go."
I barely see him move, but suddenly I'm in his arms again, his mouth hot and demanding on mine. I scrape my fingers up into his hair and hold him close as he deepens the kiss. I want this forever, but it's never felt so far away.
Victor draws back. He presses his thumb to the erratic pulse at my throat. What song does it sing to him? I see his teeth clench, and his fangs begin to grow. He releases me and steps away. "I don't understand. It's like your blood is a drug that overpowers everything else. I want you, Dawn. And yet …"
"You can control it."
"I don't know if I can. I have to go."
He heads toward the balcony with purpose. I could keep him here with a single word. But he has to leave. If he doesn't, things between us will change dramatically, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. He'll take us places I'm not prepared to go. Not yet, anyway …
Suddenly he stops, his gaze falling on my desk. He lifts the paper that I snuck out of the shrink's office. "What's this?"
"Nothing, really. Just something I see in my dream."
He faces me then, his brow furrowed. "This dream that seems so real?"
"Yeah."
"How does this symbol come into play?"
"It's carved into the side of the mountain."
"Strange," he says, studying the drawing carefully. "It's Ancient Vampiric. It hasn't been used in a thousand years, at least."
"Why would it be in my dream? I've never even seen it before."
"I don't know, Dawn."
"Well, what does it say?"
"I don't know that either. Like I said, it's ancient. Vampires don't even use their own language anymore, let alone the ancient version of it. All I know is that it's a character or symbol from a long time ago."
I look at it with him, hoping this new information will help me pick out something different. But it still just looks like a mess of lines to me.
"Well," I say, "who does know Ancient Vampiric?"
"You'd have to find an Old Family vampire, one old enough to remember this. I'm not sure if there's any alive. As you know, Old Family stick together, but they also have an unfortunate tendency to kill one another."
"No humans know this stuff, huh?"
Victor looks up, his expression troubled. "Actually, there was one."
"Who?"
"Your father."