Author's note : long chapter.
don't forget to comment...
"Yeah," Vivi says quickly, which is news to me.
"What do you say we do something different, then?" Sin asks.
"Like what?"
I don't like where this is going.
"How about we go wall-walking?" he asks, a gleam in his eye.
I knew he would bring trouble.
"Forget it," I say. "We can't make it to the wall before sunset."
He has to be crazy to suggest it. During the day is one thing, but at night … we'd just be asking to become a late-night snack. I've heard of people setting up stakeouts to wait for the vamps so they can ambush them. Personally, I'll leave that job to the Night Watchmen and wall guards.
"Come on," Michael says. "It's fun."
I stare at him. "You've done it?"
"Sure. Well. Kind of. I mean, I went there once during the day, walked along the wall for, like, three hours. Found some really weird stuff, you know. But couldn't find a hole to the outside."
"Trust me. It's too dangerous. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, but not at night." That's when it's more fun," Sin urges. "Michael and I will protect you. No one's going to bother us."
"I'm not worried about people. I'm worried about vampires."
"Don't be," Michael says. I can tell he loves the thought of protecting me against any fanged enemies.
"I'll only go if Dawn goes," Vivi says, turning to me.
Great. That's her way of saying, If you don't go, I'll be mad at you because you blew my chances with Sin and now everything is ruined and blah blah blah....
"How about this," Michael says. "We start out, and if you want to turn back, just tell me, and we'll go. No questions asked. No complaints. We'll do a one-eighty and head home."
Vivi widens her eyes and mouths, Do it!
It's a bad idea, but then, I seem to have a track record lately of embracing bad ideas.
"Fine."
We catch the trolley, but as I feared, the sun has set by the time we get to the end of the line. This is the farthest I've ever been from the city's center and still within the wall. Normally, when I leave for Valentine Manor, Winston takes the carriage along the main road that goes straight from the heart of the city to the large main gate. But we're far from that well-traveled path. Or from any of the other streets that lead to the south and west entrances, and plenty of little ones in between. Some say that's why the city isn't secure: too many ways in.
"This way," Sin says. "I've got a good feeling about it." I have a feeling, too. That I'm going to regret this. You knew we were going to do this, didn't you?" Michael asks.
"I had a hunch."
They're high-quality flashlights, all metal, bright bulbs.
"You can keep them," Sin says. "A gift for helping me relieve my boredom."
The farther we move down the street, the more destroyed it looks. It's like the entire neighborhood was submerged underwater for a hundred years and then drained. The wood isn't just shattered; it's rotting. The lampposts aren't just bent; they're rusted, and the street signs haven't been legible in years.
"There it is," Michael says once we round a corner.
The wall is a stone's throw away. I imagine the city architects deciding on its placement, the engineers building it. Maybe they put it here in hopes of renovating these homes, making them livable again. At the time, it might've seemed like the right idea. But now it just looks like it's keeping the hideous town homes from escaping into the night. Maybe the wall is holding back the ghosts that walk these streets from haunting the rest of the world.
The wall seems bigger at night, looming over us like a slumbering animal as we approach. Here, it isn't as nice as in other areas. It's thick steel, with vertical girders bracketing it to the ground every few yards. The paint wore off a long time ago, and it's warped over time, as if they miscalculated its weight and it's now collapsing upon itself. Looking to the left and right, seeing it stretch into the distance, I can see the curvature that nature and time have forced upon it. What was once uniform has taken on a demented life of its own. Normally, at the top of the wall, there is a walkway for guards to patrol. But not here. Maybe everyone just wants to forget about this part of the city.
We each touch the wall and then begin walking along it, letting our hands glide over it.
"This is too thick," I say. "We'll never find a weak spot or a hole that leads to the other side."
I'm not sure whether that's true, but I want to go home. We've seen the wall. Isn't that really the point?
"I think I might know a spot," Sin says.
Of course he does. He's been in town for only a few days, but he already seems to know everything.
We walk down another block. The wall is to our right, and long streets and corridors dart away to our left. As I look down them, the light from our flashlights disappears almost instantly, barely penetrating the inky night. We're swallowed up by darkness, and much as I'd like it to be, I can't help admitting to myself that Michael's presence is not as comforting to me as Victor's was. "Maybe we should leave," I say to Michael, who's behind me.
"But we're so close."
"You don't know that."
"If Sin says he knows a spot, then—"
"You promised me that if I wanted to go we would. This is stupid."
It's cold and dark, and my feet hurt, and dammit, I deal with enough crap every day; I don't need to go on dangerous field trips just because the boys want to. But looking at Vivi, I don't think even she'd be on my side; she's more infatuated with Sin than anyone.
"A little farther," I relent. "But then we're—"
"Got it!" Sin exclaims.
We run over to meet him. His light is shining on a pile of debris that he's pulling away from the bottom of the wall. Behind it, there's a hole just big enough for a person to crawl through.
"From the outside in," Sin says. "Vamps must've done this."
He holds his light to the twisted metal, all of it pointing toward the city, as if someone had been pushing from the other side.
"Then let's not go," I say. "If vampires know about this hole…"
"Come on," Michael says, irritation in his voice. "We're right here."
"They could be waiting on the other side."
Sin ducks and shines his light through the hole. "Nothing moving," he says.
"See?" Michael says. "It'll be fine."
"You said—"
"I know what I said! But we're not going to get another chance like this. We don't get to go beyond the wall like you do, Dawn. I've never even seen the outside. Neither has Vivi. We've been stuck in this city for our entire lives! You don't understand what that's like, okay? I'm not going to leave you here alone, but this is important to me. I want to go, and that means you need to come with me."
I'm angry that he's doing this. Beyond angry, actually. But I swallow it, not wanting to make a bigger scene in front of Sin and Vivi. Besides, the longer we're out here, the more likely something bad can happen. I just need to get this over with and deal with my anger at Michael later.
"Fine," I say tersely. "Let's go."
"We'll stay right at the wall," Sin says. "That way we're just a few feet from the city."
As if that can keep us safe.
Sin goes first, his slender body easily passing through to the other side. He waves to Vivi and I follow her. Michael joins us last.
We stand next to the wall and peer out into the night. I've seen the outside, not much, but more times than I'd care to. Sin, having traveled on the Night Train, is no stranger to it either. But Vivi and Michael gaze around eagerly. I've seen it before through binoculars," Michael says. "But to be here…"
"I've never seen it," Vivi says. "I always thought that it would be… I don't know … beautiful. But it's just … it's nothing."
It's flat. It's desolate. You can hear the wind trying to move things, but there's nothing to move. The grass is barely alive, struggling to find nutrients in the ground. The plains just stretch out for an eternity; they might as well be an ocean. The mountains in the very, very far distance are no more attainable than the stars.
"It always reminds me how small the cities are," Sin says. "Imagine, people used to walk right here, right where we're standing, without any fear. It's all gone now. Taken."
In a war we started, but now isn't the time to remind them.
"Where are the vampires?" Vivi asks.
"Out there." I gesture to the plain. "Most of them have found hills to carve homes into. Little more than hollowed-out coffins, just big enough to avoid the sun. If you go far enough off the main roads, you can find vampires living in what were once towns. They're just shells now, after years of bombing during the war. Or so the Agency says. I've never seen them."
"And the city," Michael says. "Sometimes I think there're more vamps in there than out here. Like it's all a big conspiracy to keep us scared from moving outside the walls."
"They're out here," I say. "And we should head back."
"There's plenty of time," Michael replies.
If none of us objects, he'll stay until the sun rises, assuming we survive the night. I'm just realizing that the flashlights we used to get to the wall might've attracted some unwanted attention. Now I'm not only worried about vamps catching us on the outside, but waiting for us on the inside. Michael has no idea how right he is—there are plenty of monsters within the city as well.
"Michael. It's time to go," I say in my sternest delegate voice, the one that leaves no room for negotiation.
"Dawn, this is important."
"I know. You already used that excuse. We've seen it. Let's go."
Michael looks at the others, but they quickly turn away, not wanting to get involved.
"Fine," he says curtly. And I know he's not happy, but then neither am I.
Our little group separates into couples after we disembark from the trolley near the center of the city. While Vivi and Sin talked the entire way back, Michael and I didn't. I think we both have been playing the next conversation in our heads.
At my building, Michael and I walk past the guard and take the elevator to my floor. When we reach my apartment door, I put the key in. It's been a game of chicken to see who will speak first. I break.
"Good night."
"Why did we have to leave?" he asks.
I turn and face him. "Because it wasn't safe and you know it. I can't believe I went that far."
"Well, I wish you hadn't."
"What does that mean?"
"If it'd just been me tonight, I would've stayed out there even longer. You can't understand what it's like being trapped in this city, in these walls."
"You're right. You should've just ditched me, your girlfriend, at the Daylight and gone off with your new best friend who you've known for only a few days to sneak out beyond the protection of the walls just to see a flat, empty plain." "It may be stupid, okay? But being beyond the wall—it's important to me. Besides, it doesn't hurt anybody."
"Don't you get it? Tonight we were lucky. People set up ambushes on our side of the wall, hoping to have a chance to attack vampires. You don't think vamps do the same thing on the other side, hoping to capture idiotic humans?" God, why is he listening to Sin and not me? Why do I even have to explain this? "If you want to be a Night Watchman, then you need to realize what's stupid can get you killed."
He's stung by that.
"Don't you think I can take care of myself?" Michael asks.
"Of course I do. But no one can fight off a whole pack of vampires. So why take the risk?"
"Because I'm tired of being told how to live, what we can and can't do. You're the delegate. Do something about it."
His words hit me like a physical blow.
"Sin's not afraid of anything, Dawn. Last night we went hunting—"
"What? You mean for vampires? Just the two of you?"
"Yeah, an area called Fang Alley. He said a lot of vamps live there."
My tension ratchets up a couple of notches. Was that him and Sin that Victor and I heard last night? If they'd found us, Victor would have attacked them. They wouldn't have backed off. He could have killed them. Now my fear for Michael has swirled into my anger, creating a tornado of emotions.
"How could you be so reckless? Do you not comprehend the unnecessary risks you were taking?"
"He told me not to tell you. I should have listened. You just don't get it. You're all about negotiation. I'm about action. I'm tired of waiting."
"Michael, it's too dangerous, what you and Sin are doing."
"At least we're doing something."
He storms away. I want to go after him, but I think he just needs to cool down so we can talk. Sin is filling his head with crazy ideas. I hope Michael will think about what I said, that he'll realize I'm right and he's risking his life needlessly.
We head down a row of abandoned town houses, all lined up and identical except for which windows are smashed. They look prewar, and I can see what Michael meant when he said he's found weird stuff out here. There's no telling what's in those houses. Relics from the past, family photos of people no longer alive … or vampires. The Night Watchmen like to do raids in this area, hoping to find small groups of vamps hiding in an old basement. I wonder if Michael is hoping to catch them in action and join in.
"It's like a ghost town," Vivi murmurs, her voice hushed.
"Are you scared?" Sin asks.
"Maybe just a little."
He pulls her to him. She squeals and laughs. I exchange a look with Michael. He shrugs.
Sin opens up his backpack and pulls out four flashlights, handing them to us.