I woke up that night, ate and started to read the files Nibba unlocked for me. And then I understood why she could not tell me anything yet.
The first five files were about how to fight, with nice video lessons. The pack included a file named "the best 10 hour playlist to listen at the gym". Then 3 files about how not to tell informations when interrogated, and finally 2 files teaching not to tell informations under torture.
They were taking the concept of auto study a little too far, but I guess that the practical lessons would be the "now or never" style.
I was getting used to my schedule, sleeping just 6 hours per day, so I still had two and a half hours before leaving. I took my clothes off, cleaned them with some water and layed them on the bed.
Then I opened the playlist and got to work. Stretched and made some jumping jacks to warm up. My stamina improved a lot in the past days, so I practiced the fighting. Punches and kicks and stuff.
Every person in the military passed through a training, but my last session was years ago, I was very rusty. I put the mattress up, laid it on the wall and treated it like my worst enemy. And soon my muscles started to complain about that.
One hour latter I was floored. And thirsty.
Drank some nice salted water and ate some nice freeze dried food. Then played some of the interrogation resistance techniques videos. A lot of self control seemed to be included.
Use your ticks to your own gain, tell some truth but make it look like it's a lie. Lie just enough. Don't talk about what you don't have to. Answer the question with another subject. Seemed a lot like acting.
This made me think. I could not resist torture, I guess. Ok, I was stubborn and headstrong, but that's not what I needed. From now, I'm not Larpi, I am not myself. I started to create a new persona in my mind. The deserter: bold and smart and rebel.
I kept repeating this, someday I might believe in it.
I sew a new mask for me, and made it dark blue, but I was bold now, so instead of sew with dark blue line I used a golden one instead. I'll get there in small baby steps, I guess?
I left the city with no further complications. It was falling apart, just like the other one. The outside was freezing, the night was my territory now. One moon was totally covered now, so you could barely see it. The other one, in contrast was a full moon. I took it as a good sign, the sky was blinking to me, so I blinked back with my one eye.
Yeah, most species have two eyes, I know that is weird to think about that. It's just how the evolution works. Must be complicated to see things double.
Running again, but now I had a playlist. I controlled myself not to sing along, since they were the latest hits on my home planet. It was hard, but I took it as my self control training.
A few days latter I had to put all that in use.
I was leaving the safe house when they attacked. I quickly counted: two attackers. Both higher than me. I got in a fight position and managed to block their surprise combo attack.
As I was outnumbered and well rested, the safest way out was to run. But they saw me leaving the hiding spot, so it was definitely compromised. Would the next one be the same?
So I decided to fight - bold and smart and rebel - I remembered myself.
I decided to use my advantages: that seemed to be nonexistent. I thought that being smaller I could be faster, but nope. I thought that I had more stamina, but nope. I thought that I had more technique, after all these hours training, but...
I could say that I went better than when I fought with Nibba on that bathroom, but as I was outnumbered, the fight lasted the same amount of time. If I survive I'll have to start practicing fight against multiple enemies.
They tied me to a tree, took my mask off and made a gesture to the chip for it to take a photo. They were wearing strange clothes, just as the military uniform, but all black.
I didn't know what that meaned.
- Why have you deserted? - the guy on the left asked.
- Why does everyone asks me that? - I asked back. Bold and rebel, but not very smart.
He punched my face. I could not feel my face for a second and almost passed out.
- I'm the one making questions here, darling. Just answer.
I spit my blood on his shirt. He punched me again.
The lady on the right stopped him from giving a third punch.
- A dead man can't answer anything.
- I was not going to kill her. Just make her pass out for a few minutes. - the lady just shook her head, disappointed.
- You are not helping either, ok. Spit on someone is so cliché - she spoke to me as she rolled her eye. - we will let you go after you answer the question, ok? We do have a schedule and don't want to be late. Just answer, ok?
All that "ok" stuff was getting to my bad side and I was soooo not wanting to answer that shit right now.
- Right. - I started, licking my lips. Oh my, I was getting nervous. - How much sincerity do you want? - the guy on the left looked at me with the "just answer the damn question" look, so I continued.
- It was nice and sweet when I worked on my lab, doing the job I enlisted myself for: research. It was a riffraff's job, but at least I had a decent life. But they practically blackmailed me to accept this explorer job. I took it, of course. You know how this works, if your superior tells you to do something there's almost no room to say "no". - I was not going well in the "resist the interrogation part".
- That doesn't answer the question. - the guy remarked.
- I know. And won't tell you nothing more than that. - Bold and rebel, bold and rebel. I kept repeating in my head.
- Let me tell this, darling. We don't have all night to spend with you. We have to leave the planet before the sunrise and we DON'T want to miss our ride.
- Will you leave the planet? How? - I asked back, desperately.
The Ok lady slapped the Darling guy on his shoulder.
- Don't make this hard for us, ok? Please?
"Please" is indeed a magic word. I instantly though that I could trust her.
- Will you really let me go? - They nodded, annoyed with my delay. They seemed almost goofy now, but they were the ones that fought as professionals a couple of minutes ago. - Should I really trust you?
- No. - Both said at the same time in a very serious manner. And seemed like they meaned it. I made my mind.
- I made the research here, the exploration stuff. They received my data happily but ignored all of my theories and made me go after just what they wanted me to research. Over the years some things started to bother me, but they always brushed it off, like I was a fly, annoying them but they were not bothered enough to get up from their seats to made me really stop.
- Then one year ago, they practically disappeared. - I continued. - they just said to me to stay put, that they were processing the data I collected. I asked to return home, since my job was done, even if I had the feeling that a lot of things were missing. They stopped sending supplies for my research equipment, to answer my requests, they just sent me the basic surviving stuff.
I paused and took a long breath. I was not going to mention anything about Nibba or Heik helping me out.
- Four years without leaving, then. I don't have friends here, it's the protocol. I didn't have much job to do anymore, very nice in the first three months, looks like a vacation. I could not return home, it's a long time to be away from your family. A video call is not possible, they said its to expensive, just text messages. So I was almost going crazy.
They exchanged glances as they heard my story. They didn't seemed impressed.
- Ok. That's when you decided to desert?
- Oh, no. I thought that they would get me out soon enough, so I decided to pass the time. Go around the city, but the city is a mess. Their technology is very poor, there is nowhere interesting to go in a underground city. Then two months latter I started to drink. Nothing that made me an alcoholic, I decided to drink only on the weekends, and I took it serious. But the rest of the week, everyday just seemed to be a mountain of nothingness. I didn't had a meaning to my life, you know? - I paused, remembering that not so distant dark days - The days were passing and I was abandoned by the military in a planet so distant that could not even talk to my family and could not have any friends. My deepest connection here was with a bartender that I met before deserting and everything that he did was to be worried 'cause I had drink to much.
At that point, the feelings that I had been burying deep were scaping from the tiny locked room in my mind. They scaped quickly and squeezed my heart with the loneliness that I pretended to not have for the last years. The tears came to my eyes and I realized that my willingness to speak and trust in everyone until now - Nibba, Heik and these attackers in front of me - was that I could not talk about that with anyone. The things were just piling up without control.
Strange enough, the guy knell down and hugged me.
- We got what we needed, darling. Let's go.
They started to leave.
- Hey! You forgot to untie me! - I screamed at their backs.
- The handcuff has a timer. It will unlock in... - He looked to the side, as if checking a displayer - 16 minutes. Don't worry.
I was powerless again, so I just took his words as true and waited.