Life. Such an abstract thing. What is alive? Does it breath if it is alive? But when one holds their breath they aren't dead? Living is said to be fun? So is surviving not living and if so are you dead if all you do is survive? But isin't survival to stay alive?
All of that is naught but a fool's paradox, one who reads too far into simple things, that is my paradox for my heart is shattered, nothing new but is there really a point in picking up the pieces again? So much to be said, so little ability to communicate, a weak heart and a strong front, that's me, the broken hearted Agashi, after my latest breakup I now stand writing this small little note in hopes that it can alleivate some of my families concerns as to why I am about to do this.
It is a simple thing really, my family is great, they are loving and kind, but she was something else, she made me feel my heart explode everytime I looked at her but I didn't have the words to express myself and I didn't have the courage to express myself either, I was much too scared to let anything show but even so, knowing it was my fault, why do I feel so sad?
Quite the stupidity I am going through right now, a corpse to my left and a cliff edge in front, nothing but blood left to write with. I smell rain. Maybe all of this will just be washed away with the rain? Finding Amiya here dead during my morning jog, coming here and using her blood to write this bloodlit note on the bark of a tree.
How unfortunate thing's ended this way. But then again, it was a good run. I can feel it now yes, death's cold hands pulling my mind ever deeper into the abyss. I'd rather die than live without her smile, I should have been with her to keep her safe from the fate that killed her. This is my fault and I should take responsilbility.
"Uuuuu...." Amiya!? She's breathing? Impossible! She has a hole through her back, I confirmed that whatever it was went straight through, no one could survive such a thing.
"Uuuuu...!" Spinning around my body felt cold as Amiya stood above me now her eyes bloodshot, blood dripping from her chest.
I see. So is this my punishment for failing to keep her safe? She has come back to haunt me is it?
"Well, this isin't so bad." Agashi said lightly allowing her to come down and bite his neck, "This pain, I will happily take it in, Amiya."
Ahh. My eyesight is blurring. Hohoho. Death sure is peaceful once you get through the hope for life part isn't it? Embrace it, Agashi, it'll be easier like that.
"Hohoho...."What a pain can't she hurry up? Wait what about Borro? Or mum and dad? Hmmm, maybe this isn't a good idea? What about the person who did this to Amiya? "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." I muttered lightly.
Oh well, not my problem anymore is it? With this much damage to my body I can't move anymore, or really see for that matter. The pain is gone too huh.
I wonder if this darkness is what I'll be seeing forever after? It's so dull. If i'd known then I wouldn't have allowed her to bite me just yet, and her killer too, how could I let someone get away with that?
Tch. How angering. But oh well, really isin't my problem anymore seeing as there's nothing I can do about it at this point.
Floating in the darkness for eternity is it? "What a blood boring existence, at this point even the idea of being with Amiya seems childish, all of this is so stupid, but why is it that I can't help but feel hurt inside still? Even if I know it's foolish why do I still feel satisfied yet in pain?"
My word's echo through the abyss, a sharp whistle returning my words in a hail of blade-like wind.
"You are a strange one aren't you? Dead and yet uncaring of death simply finding this void to be annoying, really, you strange kid, how is that God even raising his people anymore?" Accompanying the whistle like the cold touch of life a voice flew into my mind sounding quite annoyed indeed.
"That's a mean thing to say in a first meeting isin't it? Miss Disembodied voice." Seriously, at least introduce yourself before interrupting my internal monologue.
"Disembodied voice, is it? I've been called many things but that is not one of them, a strange one indeed, but I guess you have at least given something to think about in this endless void so, go away now." Was that a snap? Did this voice just snap at me?
"Hey--" Suddenly a blinding light ripped through my surroundings in an instant the surrounding were alight with all kinds of feelings, all kinds of smells and sounds.
The most prevalent sounds being those of screaming.
What a way to greet the world, real classy Voice-chan.
Heat. Screams. Blood. My hands are covered in mud, sticky mud, it's wet with the crimson thing called life, the one thing all that live be they intelligent or not, all things that breathe this blessed oxygen have albeit in many colors and forms, that is blood, crimson and cruel elixir of life.
"Agashi! Quickly run! Now!" Flicking my head to the right I saw a young woman screaming at me and grabbing my arm, looking down I found a sword near me and picked it up, fire, blood and screams, clearly this place is under attack and I do not fancy having another one of those lovely conversations with that Voice-chan just yet.
Running close behind the young woman I felt different. My senses felt sharper unlike they ever felt in my past life, each one felt more free, like a breath of cold air on a hot day, a cool desert wind. I see. I have been clouded all these years chasing after Amiya. I have been blind.
What a fool I am. All around me I can see people fighting and dying. It looks like this is a city and a large one, we have been running for around a minute now and yet we have barely managed to get anywhere, not a gate insight. Likely very poor city planning caused a maze to be born here. Perhaps a village has grown into a city very quickly? Doesn't matter right now.
"Move." My voice is deep and demanding, clearly, I am quite the hunk huh. Regardless of my momentary shock, I pushed away the young woman ahead of me and then ducked, a sword swishing just above my head, "Say hi to Voice-Chan for me, and tell her that I'll be sending her a few friends's in the near future as well." I whisper into dying man's ear my sword having run him through from below.
It's extremely boring in that void, so don't worry Voice-chan, im sending some friends for you.
Turning around I found that in the immediate area several soldiers began to back up in my direction.
Doing a quick look at my own clothing I realized that there is a hole in my shirt where a sword likely ran me through, In other words, this body is lived in? Well, I'll be sure to keep it clean and taken care of while I'm in it at least.
A blue crest with a dire wolf on it. How original. So these few with their backs to me are my comrades then? The city has been breached and I appear to be a low-class soldier as I have no armor or special family cresting.
How unfortunate I couldn't get a high position right off the bat, oh well.
Grabbing the dead man's sword I moved swiftly assisting those with the dire wolf emblem running many enemy soldiers through, a twin-headed dragon upon their armors.
"Follow me! We must form together to rid ourselves of the twin-headed lizards!!!" I shouted, my deep and authoritative voice putting in work as the men yelled after me raising their blades high.
Immediately we encountered several soldiers attempting to plunder, they were killed without hesitation, that makes it what? Twenty men? I have taken twenty lives now just after getting here.
I'll say a prayer later but first. "What is the situation in the city right now?" I turned to the soldier beside me who seemed to be the most senior among them.
"The twin-headed lizards have broken through the north gate getting an army of over a thousand into the city."
"What about our own forces?"
"We have a larger force but we were not expecting one of our own to betray us and open the north gates allowing them inside, currently may be just about a thousand would remain however we are being hunted mercilessly, we can't organize like this." The man's voice was soft-spoken but cold clearly a veteran who had seen his fair share.
Then, if they have a small force of troops that is currently preventing us to organize, why is it that over half of our forces have been annihilated so quickly? It couldn't have been only one traitor that opened the gates either. It would take several men to open the gates to a city this large, not to mention the moment those gates start to open they would be beset upon.
Yep. This city is doomed. A high level noble or general must have defected and a half if not a large portion has abandoned, the reason they can't regroup properly is that all of their locations were exposed previously and a plan put into motion in order to keep large groups of soldiers from congregating.
There were maybe ten soldiers in the group I saved? And when I first came to there were at least nine corpses with this insignia on them, in other word's the garrison was split into groups of ten all around this terrible maze of a city by someone, and likely that person is the traitor, a garrison commander?
Regardless of this, I need to do something.
Oh. I know. How dangerous. I love it.