Looking up at the sky with these bundle of lights while listening to music makes me want to think, but I'm alone, watching the fireworks shoot up in the sky, fireworks are supposed to make you happy but I want to be alone listening to music while watching them as I do with the stars, Making sure not to miss a single detail because I'm afraid if I blink or miss a detail I won't be able to remember it. Because when I look back all I see are the negative things about these holidays and what went wrong. Maybe that's why I'm not able to enjoy it. Or when I do remember the good ones it makes me want to go back in time when I was a kid and all I cared about was lighting these off and not worried about other things that were happening. That's where I went wrong thinking or wishing to go back isn't possible and I should just stay to think about the things in the present rather than worrying about the things in the past.