Eri asked dubiously as the tub filled, "Will we both fit?"
Takumi bent and scooped her up, and then placed her in the tub without answering. The water rose, and he climbed in behind her. He pulled her into his lap, making the water slosh over into the overflow, and he reached out and turned the water off.
"We fit like this," he pointed out.
They exchanged teasing words as they washed, until she responded to one of his more suggestive complaints with, "Stand up then?"
He leapt to his feet and she bounced her head against the side as she tumbled off his lap. He gasped, pulled her into his arms, and apologized anxiously, "Sorry, I didn't mean to."
"I'm OK," she assured him. "You can let me down."
The suggestion he'd made was fulfilled before Takumi sank back into the water with a contented sigh, and cuddled Eri against him.
After a moment he questioned, "How on earth have you never had a boyfriend before?"
She turned in his arms a little and protested with surprise, "I've had a boyfriend before."
Her face was unhappy, and he caressed her gently and asked diffidently, "Feel like telling me about it?"
She shrugged and replied, "I made you tell me about all of your dating history."
He kissed her cheek and said more firmly, "Asked, you asked me to. I'm only asking, you don't have to tell me."
Eri laid her head against his shoulder and explained unhappily, "I loved him."
Takumi tightened his arms around her and didn't ask anything else.
--
After they climbed out of the tub and dried off, they crawled back into his bed and she cuddled up against his side with her head on his shoulder.
Takumi kissed her gently, and when the kiss ended, Eri said, "We dated for two years, sort of."
"Sort of?" he asked.
"We only ever met at school," she explained.
"Why?" he enquired gently.
She shrugged and told him, "I don't know, but I have guesses."
Takumi raised an eyebrow and Eri sighed.
She started at the beginning. "I used to say 'hi', when I saw him. The first time it was just because I never saw anyone else say 'hi'. He said 'hi' back to me very politely. He acted like one of those guys who's always getting into fights and usually winds up joining a gang, except he didn't really. He never started anything the whole time I knew him, he just never apologized for anything to anyone either."
Eri looked up at Takumi for a moment, so he kissed her.
After a minute she continued, "One day he told me I'd better stop saying 'hi' to him or people would start assuming we were dating." Embarrassed, she looked away and added quietly, "I asked what was wrong with that, and if he was worried about his reputation."
Takumi moved his fingers in a reassuring motion, and Eri continued more firmly, "He told me rather harshly, that it wasn't his reputation he was worried about. So I said, 'Let's date then.' He asked, 'Why would you want to date a loser who's going nowhere?' And I was so shocked, that I just asked, 'Where do you want to go?'"
She took a deep breath and said, "And he told me he just wanted to do the same things everyone else does, to go to college, to live a real life, but that it was impossible. I asked why it was impossible and he told me, 'Because the pretty world you live in takes money, just live happily and stay away from people like me.'
Eri didn't notice Takumi's frown as she continued, "And I argued with him, told him if he really wanted to he could get a scholarship. And he got angry and told me to leave him alone. And that made me so mad that I shouted, 'Nobody else can believe in you if you won't believe in yourself!' And I left."
Takumi ran his hands down her back until she relaxed, but he didn't say anything. After a minute Eri admitted, "But I kept saying 'hi'. And he kept replying. Finally he asked, 'Do you really want to date me that much?' And I told him I did. And he told me, 'Fine, but I can't meet up with you outside of school, I don't have time.' I told him that was fine."
Eri thought for a moment and asked, "Do you even want to hear all of this?"
"Yes," Takumi replied promptly. He wanted to point out that she'd listened to him for hours, but he didn't want to remind her that he'd mostly skimmed over the details. And he didn't want to admit that he felt irrationally jealous that she'd once been so certain and persistent toward someone else. He felt like he'd pushed her into agreeing to date him, even though he'd been surprised by her willing desire once she gave in.
"OK," she agreed. She wasn't sure that she'd ever told anyone else so much, even Chisa, who had known about it at the time. She continued. "The first time I made him a lunch he told me, 'Don't do crap like this. I can't do anything for you.' But when I suggested we take turns, and alternate between him buying lunch and me bringing lunch he agreed."
Eri paused, and blushed again, before admitting, "After a few months I asked if I could kiss him. And he just said, 'Do whatever you want.' So sometimes I'd kiss him… But I never realized he wasn't really kissing me back, until the last kiss." She swallowed hard. "The day he graduated, he asked me to meet him at the gates."
Takumi reacted to her expression more than to her words, and he held her closer as Eri said bitterly, "And he hugged me really hard and then told me, 'You are the only good thing in my life, but I am going to change that.'"
His last words to her were written permanently in her mind, and she simply repeated them all, "I got the scholarship, just like you said I could, and I'm leaving. This is goodbye, the end, we're finished. Don't wait for me, don't come look for me. I have to leave everything at once. If I hold on to you, I won't ever be able to completely leave behind my stupid addict parents and the stupid sluts who pay for sex like it's just another drug, so I'm leaving you too. But I'm going to go and try to become the kind of guy you should have been dating, I just can't be that guy for you. Don't date any more guys like me. Find a good guy who will take care of you and love you properly."
Eri stopped and cried against Takumi's chest, and he clung to her tightly. She gulped and said agonizingly as she cried, "And then he kissed me, really kissed me, like you kiss me! And then he left."
Takumi didn't know what to do, so he just held her tightly while she cried.
After a while she mumbled, "Sorry."
"Why?" he murmured gently.
"Crying over another man in front of you," she whispered.
Takumi swallowed, and then said softly, "Eri, don't ever be afraid to cry in front of me, okay? I'll always want to be with you to hold you while you cry."
She raised her face and then kissed him hard with an urgency that hadn't been there before, and he responded hotly. It felt like her tears had washed away the uncertainty that had remained between them.
Her demands melted into his, and when he held her pinned beneath him, he demanded, "Say my name Eri! I want you to cry my name."
"Takumi," she said breathlessly.
"Again," he demanded.
"Takumi," she repeated.
"Again," he replied.
In the end she sobbed, "Takumi!"
And he responded breathlessly with, "My Eri." When his breathing slowed, he told her, "Eri, I love you, I don't think I'm falling in love with you, I'm already completely in love with you."
And he kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her again until she laughed a little, and insisted, "Enough. I believe you." She wanted to say more, but she could only whisper honestly, "I like you so much."
"How can I make you fall in love with me?" he asked a little plaintively.
"I don't know," she admitted unhappily. "Can you just wait for me?" she asked uncertainly.
"I will," he said firmly, and he kissed her again.
"Okay," Eri agreed. Her eyes closed as she snuggled closer, and she fell asleep a moment later.
A soft snort of amusement ruffled her curls after Takumi realized that she was already asleep, but he only pulled the blankets up over her and adjusted himself so that they were both comfortable.