Nessa
Memories rushing back in torrents, memories I have buried, pains I suffered for two weeks, that horrible feeling of hurt and heart break, so painful and gut wrenching. I now walk on egg shells, I live daily looking over my shoulder, I used to be a night crawler, but thanks to that Incidence, I've ended my day by 4pm everyday for the past four years and I turn in for bed everyday by 7pm after the Family dinner until few weeks ago when I decided I'm done with my marriage and refused to join the rest at the table. Coming to a realization 'now' that the words I spoke in the heat of anger and heartbreak was responsible for my four years of loneliness 😭 I weep bitterly, wailing and trembling so much that I want to break free from his hold on me, but he won't let me. For four years I have longed for his touch, hunger for him to touch me and whisper sweet words to me like he used to when he teases me, but now that I want free of him, He won't let me, I burst out with emotions, crying with pain. It is true that I told him He is not worthy of my audience and that He should never speak or stand before me again If all he has to say to me is 'SORRY' Yes, I told him thousands of years is not enough for him to atone for what he did to me, and yes I said more hurtful things, I told him he deserved to rot in jail, I told him as long as I Live, I will be incapable of Loving him and forgiveness is something he will never get from me, but that was before my test report came from the hospital revealing that I was drugged with a sleeping pill, He ran to the Hospital Immediately to run a test on himself too and it was confirmed that He was also drugged with a date rape kind of substance. He held on to my words and never even tried to Speak or win back my affection, but I forgave him two weeks after, after dealing with the shame of my overreaction without letting him explain and detoxifying my system, I also treated the many bruises on my body as a result of our encouter. I married him afterwards and I never stopped loving him.
I've loved him since I was twelve years old, we had played the 'TRUTH OR DARE' game and Bryan dared him to kiss any girl sitting with us at the table, I happened to be sitting beside him and he gave me a kiss on my forehead, it felt like an electric current running through system in a flash, I looked at him dumbfounded until Leo cleared his throat and motioned for us continue the game, I couldn't sleep for days because I kept having flash backs of the kiss. I've been in love with him since then and even asked him to be my date to Prom.
In all honesty, I was deeply angry because of something else, something I hated and liked at the same time, and I was angry for liking it, how can I want something like that I must be crazy
Desmond;
She has stopped crying, but still sobbing quietly, her eyes are swollen and her body keeps shaking gently and now she is falling into a beautiful sleep. I stand up carefully and gently lay beside her, I adjust the pillow and pull her into an embrace. I watch her Breathing even and caress my face. I should have damned the consequences a long time ago and claimed my wife, but who wants to face a woman who declare herself incapable of Loving a criminal like me, I fought my heart on our wedding night, but still could not gather the courage. I have hurt the only one I care about the most, and I have broken the trust she has in me. I succeeded in ripping my heart to shreds alongside hers. To lessen the burden of my guilt, I spent the most part of our marriage going on business trips, I refused to delegate, I worked round the clock but my eyes and mind never left her, I planted her secretary and personal assistant, they give me hourly Information on her whereabout, her work schedule and feeding plan at work. I buy her lunch everyday through her PA, her lunch was never from her office, but she did not have to know that, because that's the only thing I'm allowed to give her, I have arranged her schedules many times and because I know she has to leave work early everyday, I have all customers complaint directed to me after her working hours and I handle all to satisfaction by making calls and calling in favours from different fields of expertise, I also ensured she gets awarded multiple contracts and supply many materials at half price so that she can make enough profit. I opened a sales firm that offers sales and rentals of equipments in her field, I partnered with her firm and liase with her Director of Programs to patronise Vanny Enterprise. I invested a lot in this company that was meant to be her 25th Birthday Present, I hope one day she can be loving enough to accept it from me. She is moving in my arms, Her hand caresses my chest in a circular motion as she mumurs my name in her sleep, Desmond, Desmond Please, please Desmond, plea.... I swallow her cry and I devour her mouth as I kiss her passionately, she is mine to have now, and I ain't letting go.